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Microsoft Patents Virtual Handshakes, Hugs

Posted by samzenpus on from the metal-arms dept.

theodp writes "'It can be tough to stay connected over long distances,' writes GeekWire's Todd Bishop. 'Yes, there's phone calls, texting, Facebook, Twitter, IM, video chatting and everything else. But what if you could give virtual hugs to each other using battery-powered, Internet-enabled pillows?' That — and more — is covered by Microsoft's newly-awarded patent on Force-Feedback Within Telepresence, the idea of using interactive, connected devices to bring physical interactions to long-distance communications. Readers of Ted Nelson's 1975 Computer Lib/Dream Machines can only imagine the interesting possibilities for Skype!"

17 of 87 comments (clear)

  1. My patent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I should patent virtual fuck-offs. FP.

    1. Re:My patent by richlv · · Score: 2

      ah, you're getting close to fufme then.

      http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html

      --
      Rich
  2. prior art by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    There was a joke a while back about physically punching people through the computer screen, and today we have vibrators that work exactly like this (and vibrating underwear). Wouldn't that be prior art and an example of longdistance physical activity between people?

    1. Re:Prior art by wrp103 · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Wasn't there a Big Bang Theory episode that feature this technique?

      Yes, Howard had a Remote Kissing Machine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9KXKbBKp1A

  3. been done in cyberspace for over a century by rubycodez · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Cyberspace a hundred years ago included newspapers, telegrams and postal mail. Of course we gave virtual hugs and kisses with letters and telegrams: XX OO XXX OO

    1. Re:been done in cyberspace for over a century by EdIII · · Score: 3, Insightful

      This year's winner of the Darwin award.

      Send semen filled cookies to a bunch of soldiers deployed in Afghanistan. No chance at all of them being impossibly pissed off, statistically one of them being mentally unbalanced due to the stress of war, and no chance at all of them being angry enough to seek revenge.

      All of them stateside at some point, with expensive military training, access to weapons, and a reason to come find you and beat the living shit out of you.

      Not to mention, as a whole, soliders seem to be the most homophobic. Personal opinion, I might be wrong.

      Ohhhh, and soliders tend to have solider friends. Some of them might be stateside already.

      Hehehe Hhehehe Heheheh........

      Yes. Sleep soundly. Nothing to worry about at all.

    2. Re:been done in cyberspace for over a century by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

      the X for a kiss comes from the middle ages when most people were illiterate. to sign a legal document an illiterate person would make a mark on the paper and kiss it; the mark used was often an X.

  4. This should not be patentable. by edibobb · · Score: 2

    This is not new, unique, or nontrivial. Unfortunately, that seems to be the rule rather than the exception for the USPTO.

    1. Re:This should not be patentable. by GiantRobotMonster · · Score: 3, Interesting

      If we all ignore them, wont they go away?

      Anybody know an easy way to get Slashdot to filter out *all* patent related stories? They are always ridiculous, even when they're accurate!

      I had enough of this crap when I wasn't allowed to make a protocol I was implementing work as efficiently as it could, because Motorola had a patent on the concept of "Pardon? Could you repeat yourself please?" in this particular context. Utterly freaking ridiculous.

      The current patent system does not encourage innovation -- it encourages taking out patents.

      Hint -- follow the money.

    2. Re:This should not be patentable. by ByteSlicer · · Score: 2

      Yup. Prior art in 2006: http://www.mytware.com/ .

  5. Oh for God's sake by __aaltlg1547 · · Score: 2

    Why did you link geekwire instead of The Patent?

  6. Re:Who's first by Eightbitgnosis · · Score: 3, Funny

    Now that would be a scary product to beta test

  7. How much for a license? by anasciiman · · Score: 2

    I am simply not going to pay Microsoft a license fee each time I hug someone.

    --
    Think of me when you shave your legs...
  8. I'll just leave this here... by wbr1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics

    --
    Silence is a state of mime.
  9. Re:Almost there... by bobstreo · · Score: 2

    Here ya go:
    http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2008/07/airknife/
    probably just a parody, but why not?

  10. Re:Wasn't this on the Big Bang Theory? by BillX · · Score: 3, Informative

    I saw someone demo a similar system at a small art exhibit a while back (Intro.Inter.Tech 2007). There was not (yet) a force-feedback interface tied in, but kissable cubes / 'lips' with embedded cameras and software that superimposed the kissers over a telepresence system. I was there showing an internet-connected vibrators project (which was not a new idea even then), so tying in appropriate methods to transmit force remotely is not exactly a stretch of the imagination.

    --
    Caveat Emptor is not a business model.
  11. Prior art by roc97007 · · Score: 3, Informative

    I'm pretty sure the Japanese have prior art. I remember reading an article awhile back about virtual kissing devices. Both people had robot lip and tongue devices connected via the net. I'm sure that couldn't be as nasty as it sounds.

    But in any case, does this mean that Chuck Lorre owes Microsoft license fees? Or perhaps vice-versa?

    --
    Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.