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This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

New submitter fractalVisionz writes "The White House has officially responded to the petition to secure resources and funding to begin Death Star construction by 2016, as previously discussed on Slashdot. With costs estimated over $850,000,000,000,000,000 (that's $850 quadrillion), and a firm policy stating 'The Administration does not support blowing up planets,' the U.S. government will obviously decline. However, that is not to say we don't already have a Death Star of our own, floating approximately 120 miles above the earth's surface. The response ends with a call to those interested in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) fields of study: 'If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.'"

30 of 191 comments (clear)

  1. Nice by Carewolf · · Score: 5, Insightful

    A surprisingly good response. Perhaps they decided to answer this question to at least give one good answer on a petition no one took serious.

    So: Thanks for the nice answer: Now please answer the serious petitions!

    1. Re:Nice by davydagger · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "Perhaps they decided to answer this question to at least give one good answer on a petition no one took serious."

      are you kidding me. the Administration got the best chance for some free PR to associate itself with one of the most popular movie franchises in history.

      at a time where fanboism is becoming socially acceptable.

      this was a change-up down the center, PR wise, and they rocked it out of the park.

    2. Re:Nice by Latentius · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Hey, don't blame the White House for the fact that only the joke petitions are getting enough signatures to require an answer.

      Want answers to serious questions? Get all your friends to sign those serious petitions.

    3. Re:Nice by findoutmoretoday · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Now please answer the serious petitions!

      This is a new petition, right?

    4. Re:Nice by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Hey, don't blame the White House for the fact that only the joke petitions are getting enough signatures to require an answer.

      Want answers to serious questions? Get all your friends to sign those serious petitions.

      There are serious petitions being signed. They are just not being taken seriously. Hey, they let the chief of the TSA answer the petition to dismantle the TSA. How much less seriously can you take the serious petitions?

      Sorry, I'm with GP on this one.

      Shachar

    5. Re:Nice by rolfwind · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I liked it at first but now I don't. I feel jaded.

      The White House has a history of ignoring or shooting down real petitions or going all statist/authoritarian in response on drug petitions (at least the last 3 presidents took drugs, where would any of them be if they got caught and penalized under our system?)

      So I'm going to take this for what is is, a cheap, easy and populist response. Obama's PR always had their finger on pop culture. Yeah, it gives me a smile. But where's the real leadership when it counts, not just on cheap and easy things?

    6. Re:Nice by JWW · · Score: 4, Insightful

      To be quite honest, if Disney opened up a Death Star theme park, I would HAVE to go there....

    7. Re:Nice by Dekker3D · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wasn't it like $9001 quadrillion they lose every month to piracy? Fight the pirates, get a death star!

    8. Re:Nice by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      (at least the last 3 presidents took drugs, where would any of them be if they got caught and penalized under our system?)

      Two would've been president. The black man would be in prison.

    9. Re:Nice by The+Dancing+Panda · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Why would anyone take a petition seriously when it wants to completely dismantle a government agency?

      Seriously, guys. Everyone knows the old "First they arrested..." adage. It's saying that freedoms erode slowly and you have to be careful not to let them. But for some reason, everyone forgets that the opposite is also true. If you want your freedoms back, you have to take small steps to erode corruption. Make a petition to allow drinks past the security checkpoint. That might get a decent answer.

    10. Re:Nice by LordLucless · · Score: 4, Interesting

      It's like asking a girl you haven't even met yet to sleep with you is ridiculous

      ...except that the girl isn't your elected representative, paid ostensibly to represent your best interests. I also find it interesting how, apparently, it's feasible to create a government agency out of whole cloth, but dismantling it is apparently some epic task that must be composed of a thousand little steps.

      --
      Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
  2. Why blow up planets.. by Rockoon · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Why go through the expense of blowing up planets when you can kill civilians, citizens even, without any due process.

    --
    "His name was James Damore."
    1. Re:Why blow up planets.. by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 5, Funny

      Because blowing up planets is cool. Did you see Alderaan? Robot Chicken had a simulation involving muffins.

  3. snip by JustOK · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The Administration does not support blowing up planets' that we are on.

    --
    rewriting history since 2109
  4. Well, now by arth1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The Administration does not support blowing up planets"

    Unless, of course, said planet was populated with opponents of Israel and/or in a position to disrupt status quo in hydrocarbon trade and acquisition.
    Or tried to kill my daddy.

  5. The Administration does not support... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...blowing up planets, unless the MPAA, RIAA, or BSA tell us to.

  6. Memetrolling is cheaper than fixing stuff by Marcion · · Score: 4, Funny

    Funny how they want to engage with the public when it is free and does not upset the interests of any multinationals.

    1. Re:Memetrolling is cheaper than fixing stuff by ThorGod · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Funny how they want to engage with the public when it is free and does not upset the interests of any multinationals.

      How is that funny? I could have predicted it from day one.

      By far, this is much more than could be expected from a White House. An online forum that actually produces responses from the Admin. That's infinitely more than we got "online" from the last Admin or any other. I would submit it's a fine precedent.

      --
      PS: I don't reply to ACs.
    2. Re:Memetrolling is cheaper than fixing stuff by Sarten-X · · Score: 4, Interesting

      My thoughts exactly. The petition was obviously a joke, but they're required to respond, so they respond. There's no requirement that they acquiesce to the demands of a tiny percentage of the population, regardless of what silent majority is perceived.

      A good rule of thumb is that every issue is more complicated that everybody thinks:

      • Drone surveillance is obviously an invasion of privacy (unless its use is regulated, and it does provide an opportunity to improve police efficiency).
      • Syria obviously needs help (though it's not really clear which side should get the help, or how aid could be administered, or which side (if any) is less inclined to cause more bloodshed later).
      • America obviously should pull out of its Middle Eastern conflicts (miraculously without leaving any weapons, ammunition, vulnerable informants (or their families), or hard feelings, yet still leaving a peace-loving effective local government in place).
      • A major government labor project, such as building a Death Star, would create STEM-sector jobs for millions of unemployed (and disrupt international relations, start a new Cold War, and drive government debt even higher, with no source of funding).

      The multinationals that get so easily upset are the paychecks and resources for most Americans, directly or indirectly. If they're in trouble, that's a large swath of America that's facing a rough road ahead. Similarly, most Americans (including an overlapping group) want to support the higher profit margins of local enterprise. Still another group of most Americans (including overlap) want to end up with more money in their own pocket without doing any more work.

      It's wonderfully easy to blame the problems of the world on our political opponents, but the truth is that everything is everyone's fault. Everyone is subject to their biases, and everyone wants what's best for whatever cause they support, according to whatever theories they follow. Without perfect knowledge, there will continue to be disagreements, and the solutions are certainly not simple enough to fit in any petition response.

      A petition will not solve the nation's problems. Neither will Congress, or a different President, or even a million activists protesting unhappiness. Only time will fix today's problems, but it will also bring tomorrow's.

      --
      You do not have a moral or legal right to do absolutely anything you want.
    3. Re:Memetrolling is cheaper than fixing stuff by swillden · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I would submit it's a fine precedent.

      I would submit that it's a fine circus, nice entertainment to distract from real issues while giving the administration an opportunity to look hip.

      How about we get a real, straightforward and non-weaseling answer on the petition to abolish the TSA? That would be a fine precedent.

      Establishing an online forum that produces irrelevant and evasive answers from the administration is the appearance of an improvement, but without any substance.

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  7. Re:Little worried about their science credentials. by hawguy · · Score: 5, Informative

    You're on Slashdot and you don't recognize this line?

    Besides, the use of distance instead of time has been widely explained:

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Parsec

    Or, the put it in terrestrial terms, imagine that the Kessel Run has to cross a sea with a giant whirlpool vortex - a more capable ship (or a risk taking captain) can skirt closer to the whilrpool, so a captain could boast that he did the Kessel Run in only 12 leagues while others take the longer way around.

  8. lighthearted, appropriate for the petition by tomtermite · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I, for one, applaud a little light-heared humor from the Machine that is the Government.

    --
    - Ubique, Tom Termini www.bluedog.net - WebObjects / J2EE SOA / iPhone solutions for knowledge workers
  9. Re:How about a petition to stop all the child rape by sribe · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Apparently some dumb fucking fantasy is way more important than stopping the rape of children.

    Is that what your petition is going to say "stop all the child rape"??? Perhaps you'd do more good in this world with less attitude and more plan...

  10. This is highly offensive. by bistromath007 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Given the existence of the Jedi religion, the White House's statement that the Force is powerful is a blatant violation of the First Amendment. *folds arms*

    1. Re:This is highly offensive. by Stephen+Williams · · Score: 4, Funny
  11. I find your lack of faith distrubing. by FatLittleMonkey · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It's no worse than the President ending speeches with "God bless America", or opening sessions of Congress with group prayer, so it's unlikely to get spanked by the SC even if the author was serious.

    [Although I'd love to see a bunch of right-wing cable TV anger monkeys getting their back up over the establishment clause if a non-Christian fringe-religion President started dropping references to his own wacky New Age religion everywhere. May the Earth-mother praise him.]

    --
    Science is all about firing a drunk pig out of a cannon just to see what happens.
  12. The petition was insane by xyourfacekillerx · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The petition was insane, and so is the Administration's policy that it will respond to all petitions having a certain amount of signatures. It gives the U.S. citizen the illusion that this is a right (see the wording of the Constitution, fx, "to petition the government"); however, the right is easily exercised in other manners. More importantly, it deceives the citizen into believing that the White House is the primary and appropriate channel, and perhaps the very source of fiscal, policy and legislative matters. This deceit can be exploited against the citizen. Observe.

    tldr: It is a political tactic used to influence citizens to vote straight ticket and under erroneous beliefs about the function of the President. This is not anti-Obama or anti-DNC.

    (1) A President signs a bill into law, and assumes sole credit for its positive outcomes, because the people already assume the President was the source of power.

    The rammifications here are (a) Voters for a presidential candidate or party line are obtained by campaign promises from the candidate which really should only be achieved by legislative or judicial action. (b) The candidate can focus his campaign around those false promises (What he will do) and not around the realities: What he will sign into law, if Congress gets the bill to his desk. (c) It allows the candidate to neglect the more important function of the President which is what he will not sign into law.

    (2) It directs attention away from our legislative representatives. They are first and foremost responsible to the voters. They are the ones to be petitioned. They are the ones to introduce bills to Congress. All this petitioning the President distracts the citizen from the fact that ultimately a handful of committee members are determining the course of the country. This petition policy of the White House discourages people to spend their time and effort by calling upon their state or district reps. The White House prefers us to think the demands of 100,000 people from 50 different states is how decisions ought to be made, not 500 people from a single district (the way it has been done until now). I.e. it's majority rule, no state lines, no representative in the equation, except the President.

    (3) It encourages the President to blame Congress when he cannot mandate a petition the administration perhaps does accept. In other words, "Yes, we like your petition. Now balance Congress to my party line, voter, and it may or may not happen." (It doesn't mean the petition will ever enter consideration by the House, but that message can have a strong effect at the polls) It turns ordinary voters into single issue, straight ticket voters whether they realize it or not.

    (4) It is a waste of resources, man hours, and staff time. It's just bad business. But apparently it is amazing marketing, I mean politics. It's not like even 1% the voting population will realize what I've said above.

  13. Re:Only $850 Quadrillion by Jeremi · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Mint a trillion dollar platinum coin." "That may sound crazy, but let's seriously consider this proposal."

    I agree with the parent poster, minting a trillion dollar coin is a crazy/stupid idea; even if it is technically legal (which is debatable), actually doing it as a "solution" would make the USA look like they are playing silly lawyer-ball games rather than seriously dealing with their debt problem. First-world superpowers should be above such shenanigans.

    That said, the only reason such a stupid idea is being debated is as a last-ditch alternative to what would (arguably) be even worse -- having the US government default on its debts. It's one thing to cut spending, but it's quite another for the US Congress to decide it's simply going to refuse pay the bills for money it has already spent. If the Republicans succeed in making that happen, the consequences for the nation will be similar to the consequences for anyone else who decides to simply stop paying their bills: disruption of vital services, a precipitous drop in their credit rating, endless legal red tape, and higher interest rates for the foreseeable future. Even the threat of that happening last year was enough to drop the nation's credit rating. Holding the nation's full faith and credit hostage to promote a political agenda is unacceptable behavior, and any legislators who stoop to such tactics should be summarily tossed out by the voters ASAP.

    --


    I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
  14. Re:Only $850 Quadrillion by Teancum · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The point of the debt limit is that there was supposed to be this thing called a budget.... where expenses met income with most years running a surplus that could be used to pay off past debt or even build up a "rainy day fund". Most American states even have such requirements explicitly in their state constitutions.

    It has been seen as standard practice now by the U.S. Congress to simply ignore the fact that a budget really should be "balanced" at the end of each year, and for the past several years they haven't even bothered with the fiction of even passing a budget in the first place (which by itself is a violation of the constitution). Frankly spending is so completely out of control now that it is laughably a joke that money needs to be spent for any program, where now trillions of dollars are being talked about as if it was petty cash. Just look at the trillion dollar coin debate if you think otherwise.

    If the debt limit is hit, the government can still keep "paying the bills" as it were, but the debt limit law does do a "government shut down" as services deemed "non-essential" are cut. The problem comes when cutting the "non-essential services" aren't enough to even temporarily balance the budget so tax revenue can no longer pay the bills. That gets on to doing things like cutting Social Security monthly allotments or cutting the pay to active duty members of the military.

    Ultimately the real problem is trying to balance the budget, which means that the spending spree has to end. What gets cut can be debated, but this debt is becoming so silly that eventually everything will need to be cut just to service the debt. Either that or the debt needs to be inflated away into meaninglessness... which seems to be more of what the Obama administration and congressional leaders seem to be pushing for (aka hyperinflation). Blaming the Republicats for the current problem is spot on... as long as you know who you are talking about.

    BTW, the "credit rating" is meaningless as far as credit bureaus are concerned. That is why rating agencies haven't bothered being honest that T-bills really are "junk" value anyway or at least should be considered as such. Then again, I think putting money into any U.S. Dollar denominated bonds of any kind is a silly thing to do right now.

  15. Re:Only $850 Quadrillion by DragonWriter · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It has been seen as standard practice now by the U.S. Congress to simply ignore the fact that a budget really should be "balanced" at the end of each year

    That thing your calling a "fact", is not a fact, its a preference, and a fairly ludicrous one. There's probably a fairly decent argument to be made that there are economically-desirable consequence if the debt:GDP ratio is kept constant in years of average conditions, allowed to expand in years of relative need (resulting from disaster, recession, etc.), and contracted in years of relative plenty, but for the proposition you make there isn't even a decent argument.

    Frankly spending is so completely out of control now that it is laughably a joke that money needs to be spent for any program

    Federal spending as share of GDP is slightly higher than it was in 1983 (less than 1% higher), and down almost a full percent of GDP from its recent peak in 2009. Its much higher than it was at the peak of the dot-com boom at the end of the 1990s, but that's to be expected -- when the private economy is doing well, the need for government spending is at its nadir, while when the private economy is weak, that need is at its zenith.

    Ultimately the real problem is trying to balance the budget

    No, the real problem is trying to restore economic growth, which isn't just a matter of the level of spending (or taxation), but appropriately directing spending and taxes.