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Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters
You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."
Or at least a marketable, respectable form of bulimia.
BULI - O-MATIC
Just not eat all those cheeseburgers in the first place? Hah! Crazy talk, I know!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.
Why on earth would you want to suck out the broccoli? This gadget needs a fiberscopic camera that will allow you to view the semi-digested morsels and suck out the ones you don't want to keep.
There should be some way to preserve and reuse the pumpings, perhaps compost or soylent green or something.
Gently reply
... It's made of what eventually would have been people!
Yea, because that way you totally don't waste the food......
Eeewww.
Seriously, EEEWWW.
"Don't blame the log for the fire." --Andrew Ratshin
Several studies have show obese people prefer easily accessible food.
Stock up on hard-to-prepare food: eggs, flour, potatoes, etc.
These foods also happen to be inexpensive. And cuts down on all types of "impulse eating" as you ask yourself "Do I really want to spend 15 minutes on a snack or can I wait?" Of course, this practical advice doesn't make a guy on TV any money and doesn't make a mega-corp any money and doesn't sell books on a talk show ...
Why not just get rid of the middle man and just do this? No eating, puking, or weight gain! http://www.nextnature.net/2006/04/cloaca/
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Yes, and energy should somehow be extracted from it and fed back into the grid
You can't vomit regularly; you get ulcers, it becomes extremely painful, and it destroys your esophagus and your teeth.
It's as if nature were trying to tell us something...
Dieting and exercise? For suckers. Bring on the pump.
"There are nearly a billion malnourished people in the world, but all of them could be lifted out of hunger with less than a quarter of the food wasted in Europe and North America"
No, they couldn't, not unless that food could be transported to them and distributed before it became inedible. In countries with good infrastructure, that's not a problem, but those billion malnourished generally don't live in a place with good air freight service, well-maintained highways, and refrigerated trucking.
Any solution to global poverty is going to have to largely rely on bootstrapping local production. Despite importing a lot of food, most western nations export a whole lot more - they have sufficient capacity to feed themselves, and trade for variety/seasonality. Getting developing nations to the point of self sufficiency is key - anything else leaves them dependant on the developed world, which will screw them over when a drought/famine/whatever hits, and we have less excess to give.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
A pithy answer like "Eat less and exercise" obviously doesn't cut it. That's like the joke about how to put a giraffe in a refrigerator. You open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
Some findings and facts that have received some publicity lately:
There are a bunch of other lifestyle factors that can cause weight problems: too much sitting, pollution, artificial lighting, stress, and disease. The obesity epidemic is not going to be solved with a "Just Say No" campaign to cheeseburgers.
Intellectual Property is a monopolistic, selfish, and defective concept. It is "tyranny over the mind of man"
Truth.
It's not a production problem, it hasn't been a production problem since the Middle Ages (if even then), it's always been a distribution problem. Not just with the infrastructure, but also with the fact that the people in those areas don't have the money to make shipping to them economically worthwhile. make no mistake, if they had the money to pay for the food the infrastructure issues would be worked around quickly.
Simple way to lose weight: drink 1-2 glasses of water (16oz+) BEFORE you eat anything. Start all meals by chugging a bunch of water and you will feel fuller sooner and not desire to eat as much. Of course, this doesn't address the nutritional value of your diet, but if you are seriously over weight and need to lose some, this will probably work if you stick to it.
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No use for compost. Too acidic. Acid and protease though... once you strain out the chunky bits, it'd make a great drain unclogger.
Agreed, but many of those places have transportation (where it exists) that is configured to remove produce and resources onto boats headed for regions like Europe, North America and increasingly China. As you pointed out, that can also work in reverse WRT food... but I don't believe that is the case for all materials in general.
As I see it, any country that is not heavily bought-up by globalist Wall St. banks and aligned with NATO would inevitably appear as a threat to the West if they reconfigured their infrastructure to be self-sufficient and more self-serving. Self-sufficiency for an emerging region would necessarily have to stonewall the influences of the global banking system, because the system has a record of opportunistically creating crises which put the land and resources of so many developing countries on sale to Western corporations at fire sale prices. When the financial empire convulses because of mismanagement at its center, its the fringes that are most quickly abandoned because of a lack of familiarity or personal involvement by wealthy investors-- then they are lined up for 'austerity' programs which have much more to do with rent seeking by foreign actors than with self-sufficiency.
He said Roman, not Greek.
This looks to me to be the single most disgusting invention I've ever seen. Surely it's easier to just eat smaller meals rather than gorge, then pump partially digested food out through a pipe through your gut. I guess it tops the Segway as stupidest invention ever.
I used to have a better sig than this, but I got tired of it
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Yes, but even the good guys can have bad ideas. Inserting a device that allows the end-user to do the stomach-pumping as a caloric-intake-control measure is, in my humble opinion, a very bad idea. Devices that can be abused by the end-user tend to very often actually be abused by the end-user. The kinds of problems that come from these excesses need a larger medical approach, not a simplistic "binge-and-purge" and "hell go ahead and binge and purge, because I made you an invented device that helps you binge and purge so you can enjoy the flavor and pump out the calories."
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Binge and purge is a bad idea. Look up Terri Schiavo and look up anorexia and bulimia and look at the health problems concomitant with those diseases. I do not agree with your contention that Certainly it is worth taking all the risks you mention to lose weight.
In fact, I strongly disagree with that point of view. Two points to support my point of view: the huge crack-down on "Lap-band" surgery and on the marketing of "lap band" surgery in the Los Angeles area; and the need for psychiatric/psychological evaluation of those who feel that they are in need of surgical intervention of this type for obesity. Just because something can be done does not mean that it ought to be done.
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Caloric intake control (which is ultimately all this does) can be done with less invasive and risky means. All that this does is encourage the user to be profligate in their ways: that is NOT a good thing. Just like people who start on anti-cholesterol statins and decide since the drugs will keep their cholesterol down that they no longer need to worry about or control the amount of fat and cholesterol they take in.
Vomiting is REALLY bad for you. The acid in your stomach ruins your throat, your teeth and the heaving itself is also not that good for you I have heard (bad for teeth/soft tissue is medical fact, the heaving is hearsay). Also, if acid goes down the wrong way, you damage your lungs.
This spares the throat and teeth.
I still can't think this is a good idea. Just the change of leakage alone is worrying, your stomach contents are designed to stay in your stomach. Not slosh around in your stomach cavity if a leak develops. I also would think having to replace all the acids in your stomach would put a strain on your system. I have vomited purely from pain (not sickness) and it leaves you feeling miserable for a long time afterwards, I think your need to have your stomach contents stay inside of you, and vomiting them up is not good for you.
But for anyone for who it isn't a choice between vomiting and a hole in your stomach, I suppose this might be better.
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My first name is Dieter, you insensitive clod!
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
Except, well... while I do own a Segway -- employees get what comes to a 50% discount, and in November of '08, it really, really looked like they were about to go belly-up; figured I'd get one while I still could -- I admit that the bike argument is a decent one. I really do enjoy riding Segways (or "PT's" -- personal transporters -- since Segway(tm) refers to the company, and not their product), but there are many drawbacks. Personally, I think they are freaking ideal for sightseeing. The best thing ever. As someone who'd ridden them for years, it wasn't until I'd gone on a sightseeing trip that I realized how awesome they can be, when used for their intended niche. Outside of that niche? Maybe not so much...
Oh. And Dean likely didn't "invent" the pump, no more than he "invented" the Segway. (The insulin pump is all his, though.) What Dean truly excels at is putting a bunch of relatively inexpensive engineers in a big mill building, and then promoting himself on what they produce.
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