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Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters
You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."
Or at least a marketable, respectable form of bulimia.
BULI - O-MATIC
Just not eat all those cheeseburgers in the first place? Hah! Crazy talk, I know!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.
Why on earth would you want to suck out the broccoli? This gadget needs a fiberscopic camera that will allow you to view the semi-digested morsels and suck out the ones you don't want to keep.
There should be some way to preserve and reuse the pumpings, perhaps compost or soylent green or something.
Gently reply
... It's made of what eventually would have been people!
Eeewww.
Seriously, EEEWWW.
"Don't blame the log for the fire." --Andrew Ratshin
Several studies have show obese people prefer easily accessible food.
Stock up on hard-to-prepare food: eggs, flour, potatoes, etc.
These foods also happen to be inexpensive. And cuts down on all types of "impulse eating" as you ask yourself "Do I really want to spend 15 minutes on a snack or can I wait?" Of course, this practical advice doesn't make a guy on TV any money and doesn't make a mega-corp any money and doesn't sell books on a talk show ...
"There are nearly a billion malnourished people in the world, but all of them could be lifted out of hunger with less than a quarter of the food wasted in Europe and North America"
No, they couldn't, not unless that food could be transported to them and distributed before it became inedible. In countries with good infrastructure, that's not a problem, but those billion malnourished generally don't live in a place with good air freight service, well-maintained highways, and refrigerated trucking.
Any solution to global poverty is going to have to largely rely on bootstrapping local production. Despite importing a lot of food, most western nations export a whole lot more - they have sufficient capacity to feed themselves, and trade for variety/seasonality. Getting developing nations to the point of self sufficiency is key - anything else leaves them dependant on the developed world, which will screw them over when a drought/famine/whatever hits, and we have less excess to give.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
A pithy answer like "Eat less and exercise" obviously doesn't cut it. That's like the joke about how to put a giraffe in a refrigerator. You open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
Some findings and facts that have received some publicity lately:
There are a bunch of other lifestyle factors that can cause weight problems: too much sitting, pollution, artificial lighting, stress, and disease. The obesity epidemic is not going to be solved with a "Just Say No" campaign to cheeseburgers.
Intellectual Property is a monopolistic, selfish, and defective concept. It is "tyranny over the mind of man"
Simple way to lose weight: drink 1-2 glasses of water (16oz+) BEFORE you eat anything. Start all meals by chugging a bunch of water and you will feel fuller sooner and not desire to eat as much. Of course, this doesn't address the nutritional value of your diet, but if you are seriously over weight and need to lose some, this will probably work if you stick to it.
This is a hacked account, for which the owner can not be held responsible.
Agreed, but many of those places have transportation (where it exists) that is configured to remove produce and resources onto boats headed for regions like Europe, North America and increasingly China. As you pointed out, that can also work in reverse WRT food... but I don't believe that is the case for all materials in general.
As I see it, any country that is not heavily bought-up by globalist Wall St. banks and aligned with NATO would inevitably appear as a threat to the West if they reconfigured their infrastructure to be self-sufficient and more self-serving. Self-sufficiency for an emerging region would necessarily have to stonewall the influences of the global banking system, because the system has a record of opportunistically creating crises which put the land and resources of so many developing countries on sale to Western corporations at fire sale prices. When the financial empire convulses because of mismanagement at its center, its the fringes that are most quickly abandoned because of a lack of familiarity or personal involvement by wealthy investors-- then they are lined up for 'austerity' programs which have much more to do with rent seeking by foreign actors than with self-sufficiency.
He said Roman, not Greek.
This looks to me to be the single most disgusting invention I've ever seen. Surely it's easier to just eat smaller meals rather than gorge, then pump partially digested food out through a pipe through your gut. I guess it tops the Segway as stupidest invention ever.
I used to have a better sig than this, but I got tired of it
My first name is Dieter, you insensitive clod!
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
Except, well... while I do own a Segway -- employees get what comes to a 50% discount, and in November of '08, it really, really looked like they were about to go belly-up; figured I'd get one while I still could -- I admit that the bike argument is a decent one. I really do enjoy riding Segways (or "PT's" -- personal transporters -- since Segway(tm) refers to the company, and not their product), but there are many drawbacks. Personally, I think they are freaking ideal for sightseeing. The best thing ever. As someone who'd ridden them for years, it wasn't until I'd gone on a sightseeing trip that I realized how awesome they can be, when used for their intended niche. Outside of that niche? Maybe not so much...
Oh. And Dean likely didn't "invent" the pump, no more than he "invented" the Segway. (The insulin pump is all his, though.) What Dean truly excels at is putting a bunch of relatively inexpensive engineers in a big mill building, and then promoting himself on what they produce.