Slashdot Mirror
What EMC Looks For When It's Hiring
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com, writes
"Because EMC has expanded through more than 70 acquisitions in eight years — it was hiring even during the recession — and because many of the acquired companies were startups, it is trying to leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative. People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run,' Thus, a key to getting the company's attention is to prove you can do what you say you can. In other words, when Murray asks if you can work fast, you can't just say yes. You'll have to use your previous achievements to prove that you can."
I see advertisements like this will be standard for now on, I guess I'll be taking my pageviews elsewhere then...
Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc.. I end up not doing a good job.
Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.
What EMS is looking for when hiring:
Demonstrate value
Inspire Hope
C++
Engage Physically
when Murray asks if you can work fast
Yeah just what I want in my storage gear, the fastest to market. Eh, reliability, long life, ease of use, who needs that stuff.
I think I'm done here...
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
...give as a fuck who this guy says? Community manager?
What they're really after is people who will work 60+ hour weeks for low pay. Oh, and if you have some computer skills too, that's good.
Who the eff is EMC??? Why hasn't anyone ever heard of them before?
Have you ever read the story of the goose that laid the golden egg?
Dice thinks they are being smart to try to mask a plug for a company. They did it with redhat and now emc. It has already left a bad taste in my mouth and overtime I'll come here less and less.
If you are the smart guys at DICE you have been told.
Ah... I see how suddenly reading 30-40% of the spam in this world becomes a competitive advantage - know about HGH, EPO and all the stuff for increasing physical performance.
Questions raise, answers kill. Raise questions to stay alive.
Ironic a company that wants fast would keep a candidate waiting for two and half hours in a barely air conditioned lobby. I only stayed because the recrutor begged me to stay. I asume he had some quota to fill. Finally some frat brother type finally arrives to give me a precusory 15 minute meeting which he wraps up by telling me all the reasons he doesn't like me. Needless to say I haven't exactly hurt myself advocating anything EMC in the last ten years.
Nah, there goes 10% of the potential candidates, the ones they'd want. "Move fast and run" is synonymous with "coding sweat shop". It just takes some experience to pick up on it. I'm sure they'll find what they're looking for, but not in the manner that they want, they'll get something up and running and then invest the bulk cost into maintaining it, but quality of work is something that is very hard to come by with expansion.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I wasn't dealing with enough competing corporate factions, and that my boss wasn't tracking my performance closely enough. In the past I'd given consideration to getting involved in slavery, but most of the options out there didn't align with my professional goals. Thank you, /., for giving me this career lead.
Please go fuck yourself. That's all.
Wow, what an unbelievably horrible story. Everyone: we need to send a message to /.'s newest corporate overlords. If you don't have mod points, post a comment saying how shitty this is. Seriously -- one line is fine. If you do have mod points, mod up every comment that says so. I want to see 1,000 comments and 100 +5s by the end of the night. MAYBE they'll notice.
Posting anon so no one thinks I'm just karma whoring. I've been coming here 15 years, mainly for the comments, but enough crap like this and I'll quit reading because I know all the smart people who give a shit won't stick around.
Who else would promote a job with a company thats acquired 10 times a year as some kind of golden ticket? Every one of those acquisitions comes with layoffs and a whole new, cheaper staff - that's what nimble is a codeword for.
I listed my resume on Dice once, about 5 years ago. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even live in the US anymore, and still get about 2 dozen spams from con artist "head hunters" telling me about the latest exciting opportunity to be fucked over by some two week contract in timbucktoo.
Now I get spam on /. too! Hip hip hooray!
leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative
A hint to the recruiters and advertisers at Dice.com and EMC: Slashdot readers generally aren't very impressed by this sort of Bullshit Bingo. These phrases you're spewing are designed to sound impressive, but they don't actually mean much of anything – other than "I've got an MBA and I'm trying desperately to prove my worth."
People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run
Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.
Clearly my preferred strategy of studying problems, thinking about them, and writing a solution that correctly solves all the problems we can come up with would be utterly unacceptable there. They clearly prefer the strategy of "rapid prototyping", dealing with only a few problems (probably those that customers have reported), and not much bothering with testing the "solution" before delivering it.
It's good to know such things before applying for a job.
And their strategy does seem rather common in the business world, which explains the large percentage of buggy, poorly-designed stuff that we see all the time.
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
Almost every company I ever worked for fear competent people.
They identify them early and the managers smear you with shit before you can even shine.
This occured with an EMC subsidiary, VMware were two managers on my floor were sociopaths. Made life very interesting. They were not interested in what was good for the company but what made their bonusses inflate. These sociopaths were in Burlington, Ontario and the VP of the diviision may Kim Il Jong look like a very subtle egoless individual.
When I dared take a risk and moved up the food chain to expose the incompetence, I was shortly terminated. Many of the new procedures increased our case time thru poor tool selection while pressure was increased due to increased business to terminate cases in shorter order. In essence VMware became Microsoft to say reboot your machine and things will be fine. BS -- funny how much of the management where ex-MS people who had no concept of UNIX-RT kernel issues which vmware was loosely based on. They also raised the barriours to log new bugs and during my period there working on failure cases, the time to resolving failures increased from 1-2 months to 6-12 months because the teams resolving the issues were moved overseas where there was a resistance to resolve issues.
In another company, I on my third day of employment I exposed 20 failure points that would escalate to various serious issues -- of course being a good employee one does not blow away a design without providing a solution. Did that in a 5 page memo -- every criticism had a solution. I was yelled at and screamed at by the VP for a good hour using every major expletive possible on who the f*** I was. One year later all 20 failure points exploded into 20 major forest fires -- I was brought into a tiger team to resolve the issues and eventually I brought up my previous memo -- the VPs freaked, the President/CEO was shocked and wanted to meet with me when he came back from vacation -- was terminated mid-way thru his vacation. Suspected it was cover your a** time.
No -- companies do NOT want you to expose their weaknesses because it marks the previous management and it affects the present bonusses of the present management.
This is just major HR boulderdash. Just total BS to identify people they really don't want.
This was written by somebody who has no experience in a major corporation.
my two cents.
A frustrated engineer with 30+ years experiense.
Isn't it them who bought Slashdot? And now we see them on the front page every week? What a coincidence... What good is a news source without so much as a veil of neutrality?
If anything, these thinly veiled plugs just show that Dice, itself, is trying to "leverage the dynamic culture" of /. Keep it up Dice and you know who else needs "to be able to move fast and run"? Everyone visiting this site because they have better things to do than read non-articles like this.
Not EMC! Had to deal with them on multiple products at my last job and they were horrible. Their own professional services people would tell us so regularly. Their salesmen consistently lied about product capabilities and management at my company ate it up. Millions of dollars were given to them for what amounts to shelfware and their storage was swapped out for Hitachi because it also didn't live up to the promises. But because they're a "partner company" it was the ops department's job to eat as much shit as EMC could spew at us and like it.
All I got was spam from the site and spam from recruiters asking if I want to move to texas for a 3 month contract to write code to test Ruby on rails deployments for 60 hours a week at $15 an hour. Now that dice.com owns slashdot and all I see is spam for me to work 60 hours a week to test whatever company has the most openings on their website. Synopsis: Dice is an evil spam monster of a company and has infected an old favorite of mine. Conclusion: I'm not going to use this website anymore.
My wife worked there for several years. One friend commented when she started that it was a great place to have on your resume, since you'd be looking for a job after the layoff came. Sure enough, layoff comes, she gets a package, and now people are impressed that she worked there. The culture was best described as "macho", her management was from the "mushroom management" school, and the outsourcing stories hilarious. I'm amazed the place stays open.
...and here was me thinking the editors had no shame...
I been coming here since 1999. And now would like to move on. Can you recommend any other sites. I would really love to move on.
Thanks.
Back in those days, Slashdot didn't have ads about working for Red Hat, EMC or other massive corporations that care little for individuals in the face of lengthy, restrictive HR policies.
Hey, it's stopped working!
Python coder | PyQt Applications | Writer
I've been visiting Slashdot less and less, and stories like this show me I've been making the right choice. So where is the core audience moving to?
feedback@slashdot.org
I sent an email from my work address. Maybe everyone else that sees this dribble should too.
The only other tech site worth a damn & with original content, I believe, is Ars Technica. But the community discussion isn't as good as Slashdots [was?] - probably because it's not threaded.
While we love to rag on the editors here, they are still part of the /. community like the rest of us.
So I'm guessing the use of "Slashdot Staff" in the byline is their small act of protest against this sort of advertising being posted as a story.
Pre-Dice I recall we had one Ask Slashdot story that was sponsored by Sourceforge. We complained and it never happened again. I'd like to think complaints will still have an effect today, but I'm not as hopeful this time...
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Who the eff is EMC???
Well, it was Run EMC originally. A Run DMC tribute group that ended up washing out when the LA gangstas took over the music scene, so they moved on to data storage and virtualisation.
Crumb's Corollary: Never bring a knife to a bun fight.
Ironic to hear them talking about what they look for when they're hiring - they just laid off a lot of people from their main company (and I think also from VMware.)
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
As with any company, your quality of life depends on your boss. Mine sets realistic quarterly goals, which I've met every quarter since starting there (yes I work for EMC). I occasionally work a few extra hours a week around product launches, or to do extra testing, but it is a few weeks per quarter at most. Our software engineers? Yeah they have it rough at times but they are paid well too, and their work is tied to products worth billions (makes the resume look good). Plus I have an office, no dress code (in our NC office anyway), onsite workout facility, and other perks. Best job I've had 13 years into my career.
Ever feel like you are driving the getaway car?
Check out Reddit. The site works much better than Slashdot (especially the moderation system), the only problem is that the tech forums aren't as active.
Gentlemen, the State of the ./ is SOLD OUT.
Dice. This crap came from dice. Dice stop it before you go too far.
It will be better to purchase from an owner who is a good farmer and a good builder.
Holy shit...I actually had a comment deleted. I'm not making this up. I flamed dice.com for making stories up and EMC for being a garbage company to work for and slashdot removed my post.
Seriously, before DICE bought /. it seemed like I just didn't have enough time to catch up on all the articles I wanted to. Now I'm lucky if there's two or three articles a week that are interesting enough for even a second glance. And now this shit? Terrible...
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I don't care what you say, all I need is my Wumpabet soup.
I had an interview at a company that EMC owns. first round went well. really well. I came back a 2nd day for another round and it 'went sideways'. maybe it was supposed to. their mission was to show me how little I knew. 'dick size comparison' is what some call it.
I didn't know some algorithm trick they were asking and so I answered honestly "I'd search for the solution online and then adapt it to the problem at hand". he said 'really, is that your answer?'. I said yes. he looked at his sheet, wrote something down and ended the interview. note, he was at least 20 years my junior. yes, dick size comparison.
my approach is real-world. I stopped carrying around memorized algorithms and I now look for the classic solutions and adapt them or even use them as-is. life is too short to waste greymatter on memorization.
I don't think much of EMC or the companies they own.
in a way, its good that slashvertisements come to the surface. we can then comment on how BAD some of the sponsors are. in a way, that's a useful service.
don't bother with EMC. they are young kids who are out to show off. fuck that shit.
--
"It is now safe to switch off your computer."
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I thought that the code that runs this
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Going to slashcode.com gives us a page with the newest comment dated October 2009 that tell us to go to sourceforge: http://slashcode.git.sourceforge.net/git/gitweb.cgi?p=slashcode/slashcode;a=tree;h=refs/heads/live;hb=live
where the Changes folder has stuff as new as 2003! and the Slash folder has changes from 2009-09-16. So that's the date that slashcode started to wilt, eh, if not die from lack of attention. Seems like I got to the party too late! (since I just found out about this place last year in the summer and just joined up / registered in september last year!) At least the archived articles are interesting, and everynow and then there are some cool articles visited by 30 people like reading from the ROM masks directly!