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What EMC Looks For When It's Hiring
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com, writes
"Because EMC has expanded through more than 70 acquisitions in eight years — it was hiring even during the recession — and because many of the acquired companies were startups, it is trying to leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative. People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run,' Thus, a key to getting the company's attention is to prove you can do what you say you can. In other words, when Murray asks if you can work fast, you can't just say yes. You'll have to use your previous achievements to prove that you can."
I see advertisements like this will be standard for now on, I guess I'll be taking my pageviews elsewhere then...
Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc.. I end up not doing a good job.
Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.
What they're really after is people who will work 60+ hour weeks for low pay. Oh, and if you have some computer skills too, that's good.
Who the eff is EMC??? Why hasn't anyone ever heard of them before?
Have you ever read the story of the goose that laid the golden egg?
Dice thinks they are being smart to try to mask a plug for a company. They did it with redhat and now emc. It has already left a bad taste in my mouth and overtime I'll come here less and less.
If you are the smart guys at DICE you have been told.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I wasn't dealing with enough competing corporate factions, and that my boss wasn't tracking my performance closely enough. In the past I'd given consideration to getting involved in slavery, but most of the options out there didn't align with my professional goals. Thank you, /., for giving me this career lead.
Please go fuck yourself. That's all.
Wow, what an unbelievably horrible story. Everyone: we need to send a message to /.'s newest corporate overlords. If you don't have mod points, post a comment saying how shitty this is. Seriously -- one line is fine. If you do have mod points, mod up every comment that says so. I want to see 1,000 comments and 100 +5s by the end of the night. MAYBE they'll notice.
Posting anon so no one thinks I'm just karma whoring. I've been coming here 15 years, mainly for the comments, but enough crap like this and I'll quit reading because I know all the smart people who give a shit won't stick around.
Who else would promote a job with a company thats acquired 10 times a year as some kind of golden ticket? Every one of those acquisitions comes with layoffs and a whole new, cheaper staff - that's what nimble is a codeword for.
I listed my resume on Dice once, about 5 years ago. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even live in the US anymore, and still get about 2 dozen spams from con artist "head hunters" telling me about the latest exciting opportunity to be fucked over by some two week contract in timbucktoo.
Now I get spam on /. too! Hip hip hooray!
leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative
A hint to the recruiters and advertisers at Dice.com and EMC: Slashdot readers generally aren't very impressed by this sort of Bullshit Bingo. These phrases you're spewing are designed to sound impressive, but they don't actually mean much of anything – other than "I've got an MBA and I'm trying desperately to prove my worth."
People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run
Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.
Clearly my preferred strategy of studying problems, thinking about them, and writing a solution that correctly solves all the problems we can come up with would be utterly unacceptable there. They clearly prefer the strategy of "rapid prototyping", dealing with only a few problems (probably those that customers have reported), and not much bothering with testing the "solution" before delivering it.
It's good to know such things before applying for a job.
And their strategy does seem rather common in the business world, which explains the large percentage of buggy, poorly-designed stuff that we see all the time.
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
Almost every company I ever worked for fear competent people.
They identify them early and the managers smear you with shit before you can even shine.
This occured with an EMC subsidiary, VMware were two managers on my floor were sociopaths. Made life very interesting. They were not interested in what was good for the company but what made their bonusses inflate. These sociopaths were in Burlington, Ontario and the VP of the diviision may Kim Il Jong look like a very subtle egoless individual.
When I dared take a risk and moved up the food chain to expose the incompetence, I was shortly terminated. Many of the new procedures increased our case time thru poor tool selection while pressure was increased due to increased business to terminate cases in shorter order. In essence VMware became Microsoft to say reboot your machine and things will be fine. BS -- funny how much of the management where ex-MS people who had no concept of UNIX-RT kernel issues which vmware was loosely based on. They also raised the barriours to log new bugs and during my period there working on failure cases, the time to resolving failures increased from 1-2 months to 6-12 months because the teams resolving the issues were moved overseas where there was a resistance to resolve issues.
In another company, I on my third day of employment I exposed 20 failure points that would escalate to various serious issues -- of course being a good employee one does not blow away a design without providing a solution. Did that in a 5 page memo -- every criticism had a solution. I was yelled at and screamed at by the VP for a good hour using every major expletive possible on who the f*** I was. One year later all 20 failure points exploded into 20 major forest fires -- I was brought into a tiger team to resolve the issues and eventually I brought up my previous memo -- the VPs freaked, the President/CEO was shocked and wanted to meet with me when he came back from vacation -- was terminated mid-way thru his vacation. Suspected it was cover your a** time.
No -- companies do NOT want you to expose their weaknesses because it marks the previous management and it affects the present bonusses of the present management.
This is just major HR boulderdash. Just total BS to identify people they really don't want.
This was written by somebody who has no experience in a major corporation.
my two cents.
A frustrated engineer with 30+ years experiense.
Isn't it them who bought Slashdot? And now we see them on the front page every week? What a coincidence... What good is a news source without so much as a veil of neutrality?
If anything, these thinly veiled plugs just show that Dice, itself, is trying to "leverage the dynamic culture" of /. Keep it up Dice and you know who else needs "to be able to move fast and run"? Everyone visiting this site because they have better things to do than read non-articles like this.
All I got was spam from the site and spam from recruiters asking if I want to move to texas for a 3 month contract to write code to test Ruby on rails deployments for 60 hours a week at $15 an hour. Now that dice.com owns slashdot and all I see is spam for me to work 60 hours a week to test whatever company has the most openings on their website. Synopsis: Dice is an evil spam monster of a company and has infected an old favorite of mine. Conclusion: I'm not going to use this website anymore.
I been coming here since 1999. And now would like to move on. Can you recommend any other sites. I would really love to move on.
Thanks.
Back in those days, Slashdot didn't have ads about working for Red Hat, EMC or other massive corporations that care little for individuals in the face of lengthy, restrictive HR policies.
Hey, it's stopped working!
Python coder | PyQt Applications | Writer
Holy shit...I actually had a comment deleted. I'm not making this up. I flamed dice.com for making stories up and EMC for being a garbage company to work for and slashdot removed my post.