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Terminator Sparrows?

Posted by Soulskill on from the they'll-be-back-...-from-the-dead dept.

AstroPhilosopher writes "In a move not far removed from the model T-101, U.S. researchers have succeeded in re-animating a dead sparrow. Duke scientists were studying male behavior aggression among sparrows. They cleverly decided to insert miniaturized robotics into an empty sparrow carcass and operate it like a puppet (abstract). It worked; they noticed wing movements were a primary sign of aggression. Fortunately the living won out this time. The experiment stopped after the real sparrows tore off the robosparrow's head. But there's always a newer model on the assembly-line. Good luck sparrows." Bad Horse has not yet made a decision on the researchers' application.

12 of 138 comments (clear)

  1. Your seeds by Hsien-Ko · · Score: 5, Funny

    Give them to me.


    Now

  2. This is good news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Even sparrows hate the undead. Those zombies are going down.

  3. O.O by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I am appalled at what science has done...

    That said, I really want to see the YouTube video of this...

  4. But, was it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    an African or European swallow?

  5. Finall we know the answer by n0w0rries · · Score: 3, Funny

    What would you do if suddenly your uncle bernie was reanimated like a zombie. You'd blow his head off I'm sure! I side with the sparrows! Death to cyborg zombies!

  6. How is this ethical? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm no bird, but if they animated a human corpse by what appears to be magic and had it make threatening gestures at me until I freaked out and ripped its head off, I'd probably be very traumatized.

  7. Oh, OK... by interval1066 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Oh god, I thought they succeeded in doing some kind of Frankenstein's monster thing with electrodes and chemicals... they just stuck some wires and gizmos up the ass of a dead sparrow... big difference. Big relief imo...

    --
    Python: 'And then suddenly you have a language which says "we're all stuck with whatever the whiniest coder wants".'
    1. Re:Oh, OK... by JaredOfEuropa · · Score: 3, Funny

      they just stuck some wires and gizmos up the ass of a dead sparrow

      All is fair in the name of science

      --
      If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
  8. "Eventually the head fell off" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The researchers, as quoted in the original article, describe the problem I've always had with re-animation:

    "Eventually the head fell off"

  9. Ex-Parrot by Marillion · · Score: 5, Funny

    Repeat experiment with parrots and ruin a perfectly good Monty Python skit.

    --
    This is a boring sig
  10. Hey AstroPhilosopher by gtirloni · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good job trying to make everybody think researchers actually revived a dead bird.

    This "news" would be as amusing as a 5 year-old "re-animating" his sockpuppet with Lego.

    --
    none
  11. "Hey, check this out!" by sdeath · · Score: 5, Funny

    "... We wrapped a robot in a dead sparrow and decided to see if we could fool the other sparrows into interacting with our creepy, ghoulish automaton! It's *science*!"

    And of course, it was COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED that the grisly abomination stapled to a tree branch triggered aggressive reactions from the other sparrows. Because every living thing JUST LOVES to be confronted with a soulless golem wrapped in the dead flesh of another of its kind. And that never causes pants-shitting terror or anything.

    I can see it now:

    Sparrow 1: "OH MY GOD! IS THAT... *THING* ... WEARING FRANK'S FACE? IS IT?! FRANK??!?!"
    Sparrow 2: "It's not him anymore. IT'S! ...NOT! ...HIM! IT'S A MACHINE! Help me destroy it! Be his egg-layer one last time!"
    Sparrow 1: "*snf* OK... OK... oh God, Frank... God help me..."

    Yup. Science.

    Is there, like, a review board or anything? Maybe that could screen some horror flicks before writing checks for this kind of bullshit? "New rule: If your study is substantially similar to the plot of any one of this library of 100 horror movies, or if it has a plausible chance of producing similar outcomes, we're not going to fund it."

    --
    I am Chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are Free. -Eris