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New Pope Selected

Freshly Exhumed sends this quote from CBC: "Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina has been selected as Pope of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics. He will be known as Pope Francis. He is the first Pope from the Americas. The 76-year-old was the runner-up to Benedict XVI during the last conclave. He is well-known for his humility and espouses church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception. He has no Vatican experience."

24 of 915 comments (clear)

  1. oh cool.. by kuk_Bone · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Goes back to work"

    1. Re:oh cool.. by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 5, Funny

      If the new Pope is not made of chocolate, and filled with marzipan, then I'm not interested.

      Unless he has a jet pack. Or a robot named "Muad'Dib".

      --
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    2. Re:oh cool.. by Valgar · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, dummy, RTFS. Pope Francis.

      Settle down, Francis.

    3. Re:oh cool.. by Sloppy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't understate the importance of this. I heard the new pope uses emacs instead of vim (because "my fingers learned that one on the dvorak keyboards in the seminary"). And yet, he prefers python3 over scheme. Runs it all on Mac OS 10.4 and won't upgrade to 10.8, because

      1. he can't get his Zune to sync with later-than-10.4 anyway
      2. Driver issues with his Piledriver-APU-based Hackintosh
      3. 10.4 reminds him slightly more of his old Atari ST (and I quote: "fuck you Amigoids, yuor all going to hell 4ever!!!11")
      4. invisible scrollbars and a wrong default scroll wheel direction, are an abomination before The Lord

      I don't care if you don't see any geeky controversy here; the python3 thing is important. The new pope is saying fallible things on the Internet!

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      As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
    4. Re:oh cool.. by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's getting the same coverage that a casting change in Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or any other long running fantasy series would get.

    5. Re:oh cool.. by KingSkippus · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was really hoping that he would call himself Pope Awesome. A little marketing never hurt. If I were Pope, I'd have to go with either taking the name Mobile, or possibly Oree.

  2. News for nerds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What is his favorite distro? views on FOSS?

    1. Re:News for nerds? by Guppy06 · · Score: 4, Funny

      With all the forks, how could FOSS be more Protestant?

      The Mother Church clearly prefers a strictly Microsoft shop.

    2. Re:News for nerds? by Sepultura · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

    3. Re:News for nerds? by macromorgan · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is . . .

      . . . the Spanish Inquisition . . . !

      Honestly, I didn't expect it.

  3. So what religion does he belong to? by Marrow · · Score: 5, Funny

    linux, mac, vi, or emacs? :)

    1. Re:So what religion does he belong to? by j00r0m4nc3r · · Score: 5, Funny

      Eunuchs

  4. Re:So.... by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Funny

    So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

    The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

  5. Re:So.... by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's kind of the point of religion. It's not supposed to be very dynamic. It's supposed to be a set of guiding morals, for example Buddhism's guiding moral of "Don't Be A Giant Dickhead." This hasn't changed to "It's Okay To Be A Giant Dickhead When It Makes You Feel Better" or "Be A Giant Dickhead, But Only To Politicians And Wall Street Bankers." Now times are changing and it's probably not really terrible to be a giant dickhead to Wall Street bankers, but eh. That's not what Buddhism is about.

  6. No word yet on papal shitting location. by gestalt_n_pepper · · Score: 4, Funny

    The woods, however, are still the traditional choice.

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  7. Oh well. by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Better luck next time Richard Stallman.

  8. Re:lent by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 4, Funny

    KY jelly.

  9. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 4, Funny

    The church must have petered out.

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  10. In related news ... by PPH · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... still only black smoke from the US Congressional budget committees.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  11. Re:So.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

    The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

    To continue the car analogy and to point out the differences, while the Catholic Church may be wearing the parking brake out, the evangelical Christians are trying to throw the car in reverse. And all while they are in a fist fight with the Muslim fundamentalists (who are also looking for reverse) over who's hand will be on the shift lever. Meanwhile, the Quakers are pointing out that one should use the clutch when shifting gears and the Pastafarians are looking for a different car in which to ride.

  12. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by anagama · · Score: 4, Funny

    warning, NSFW for most workplaces, but an amusing Tim Minchin song about the pope:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTIorwtJbhE

    --
    What changed under Obama? Nothing Good
  13. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Funny

    Im not sure its entirely accurate to call Peter the "first pope". The office as such did not exist, and the specific role of "pope" was never acknowledged by Peter or anyone else at that time.

    Well, there was this one guy (hint: his initials were J.C.) who said: "I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church ..."

    This was a pun because "Peter" means "rock" (JC was a funny guy). So if we followed biblical precedent, the next pope should have been ... Dwayne Johnson.

  14. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ebno-10db · · Score: 5, Funny

    or of that role being hereditary

    That's something the papacy has generally avoided.

  15. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by SteveFoerster · · Score: 5, Funny

    I heard this guy is the logical choice, since who better than an Argentinian to offer sanctuary to a German with human rights abuse issues?

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