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New Pope Selected

Freshly Exhumed sends this quote from CBC: "Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina has been selected as Pope of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics. He will be known as Pope Francis. He is the first Pope from the Americas. The 76-year-old was the runner-up to Benedict XVI during the last conclave. He is well-known for his humility and espouses church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception. He has no Vatican experience."

57 of 915 comments (clear)

  1. oh cool.. by kuk_Bone · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Goes back to work"

    1. Re:oh cool.. by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 5, Funny

      If the new Pope is not made of chocolate, and filled with marzipan, then I'm not interested.

      Unless he has a jet pack. Or a robot named "Muad'Dib".

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    2. Re:oh cool.. by Valgar · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, dummy, RTFS. Pope Francis.

      Settle down, Francis.

    3. Re:oh cool.. by Sloppy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't understate the importance of this. I heard the new pope uses emacs instead of vim (because "my fingers learned that one on the dvorak keyboards in the seminary"). And yet, he prefers python3 over scheme. Runs it all on Mac OS 10.4 and won't upgrade to 10.8, because

      1. he can't get his Zune to sync with later-than-10.4 anyway
      2. Driver issues with his Piledriver-APU-based Hackintosh
      3. 10.4 reminds him slightly more of his old Atari ST (and I quote: "fuck you Amigoids, yuor all going to hell 4ever!!!11")
      4. invisible scrollbars and a wrong default scroll wheel direction, are an abomination before The Lord

      I don't care if you don't see any geeky controversy here; the python3 thing is important. The new pope is saying fallible things on the Internet!

      --
      As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
    4. Re:oh cool.. by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's getting the same coverage that a casting change in Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or any other long running fantasy series would get.

    5. Re:oh cool.. by KingSkippus · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was really hoping that he would call himself Pope Awesome. A little marketing never hurt. If I were Pope, I'd have to go with either taking the name Mobile, or possibly Oree.

  2. So.... by Daetrin · · Score: 4, Interesting

    espouses church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception

    So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

    --
    This Space Intentionally Left Blank
    1. Re:So.... by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 5, Insightful

      espouses church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception

      So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

      Well people could choose to stop with the religion thing in response.

      --
      I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
    2. Re:So.... by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Funny

      So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

      The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

    3. Re:So.... by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's kind of the point of religion. It's not supposed to be very dynamic. It's supposed to be a set of guiding morals, for example Buddhism's guiding moral of "Don't Be A Giant Dickhead." This hasn't changed to "It's Okay To Be A Giant Dickhead When It Makes You Feel Better" or "Be A Giant Dickhead, But Only To Politicians And Wall Street Bankers." Now times are changing and it's probably not really terrible to be a giant dickhead to Wall Street bankers, but eh. That's not what Buddhism is about.

    4. Re:So.... by v1 · · Score: 4, Informative

      In theory he could change those teachings. But it seems unlikely.

      They don't pick a pope that's promising reform, they pick one that will carry on just like the previous popes. Religions appear to prefer stagnation, at least at their upper levels. I wonder if it has anything to do with their age? "Clinging to the past" seems to be a common hobby with most old farts ;)

      I like the "he has no previous experience" thing they mentioned. I don't think "have you ever been a pope before?" was part of the the interview...

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    5. Re:So.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

      The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

      To continue the car analogy and to point out the differences, while the Catholic Church may be wearing the parking brake out, the evangelical Christians are trying to throw the car in reverse. And all while they are in a fist fight with the Muslim fundamentalists (who are also looking for reverse) over who's hand will be on the shift lever. Meanwhile, the Quakers are pointing out that one should use the clutch when shifting gears and the Pastafarians are looking for a different car in which to ride.

    6. Re:So.... by KeensMustard · · Score: 5, Insightful

      People believe things that other people don't believe. News at 11.

    7. Re:So.... by buchner.johannes · · Score: 5, Insightful

      When have our views on contraception, abortion and homosexuality modernized? In the last 30, 20 and 10 years. Same-sex marriage is still a huge debate. The pope is 76. The pope with a modern view is 20 today, and will become pope in 40-60 years.
      This is not a democracy where you can replace people every 4 years, this is a rigid hierarchical structure of with no balances and 1 billion people. And it is supposed to not change much.

      --
      NB: The message above might reflect my opinion right now, but not necessarily tomorrow or next year.
    8. Re:So.... by bruce_the_loon · · Score: 4, Informative

      I like the "he has no previous experience" thing they mentioned. I don't think "have you ever been a pope before?" was part of the the interview...

      The no previous experience statement isn't to do with being a pope, but with having been part of the Vatican bureaucracy before the election. One of the areas of reform needed is in an apparently corrupt bureaucracy and the last chap was part of the club, having headed up part of it for a decade or more.

      This chap has been running an archdiocese in Argentina for the last couple of decades and only set foot in Rome once or twice a year. In American terms, it would be like electing a small town mayor to the office of president, and hoping that the fact he doesn't know how Washington should work will let him clean up the place.

      --
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    9. Re:So.... by femtobyte · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "Our views" (depending a lot on who "us" is; assuming the general European populace from which the uppermost Catholic hierarchy is mainly drawn) on contraception modernized in the 1960s, when the pope was (barely) a 20-something. Since that time, there have only been very small ultra-conservative enclaves (the Papacy among them) in which birth control --- even for married couples waiting for a better time to start their family --- is considered an abomination. The Catholic hierarchy lags much farther behind on these issues than your simple chronological estimates (though not the general Catholic population, which statistically employs birth control as frequently as everyone else).

  3. News for nerds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What is his favorite distro? views on FOSS?

    1. Re:News for nerds? by Guppy06 · · Score: 4, Funny

      With all the forks, how could FOSS be more Protestant?

      The Mother Church clearly prefers a strictly Microsoft shop.

    2. Re:News for nerds? by Sepultura · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

    3. Re:News for nerds? by macromorgan · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is . . .

      . . . the Spanish Inquisition . . . !

      Honestly, I didn't expect it.

  4. 76? by sycodon · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Best keep that straw and chimney handy.

    --
    When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
    1. Re:76? by macromorgan · · Score: 5, Insightful

      If you want to be Pope someday, you don't elect someone younger than yourself.

    2. Re:76? by jellomizer · · Score: 5, Insightful

      John Paul II was elected pope at and earlier age and some would say electing a younger pope, means having a pope for a long time. Now the younger pope may be more of a reformist... However he will stay in power for so long, that his reforms will become old, and backwards. Having older popes with a gradual changes could be more productive.

      The big issues is that us Western Cultures have in terms of Sex Rights. (Woman's Rights, Abortion, Gay Marriage, Contraceptives) Are fairly new (40 or so years old) A younger pope may address these issues... However The way he addresses these issue will stay the same for the next 40-50 years. By that point culture would have changes where that method would seem unheard of. Having an older pope who will last 5-15 years means every new pope will gradually put in new changes.
      In some ways is like having continual obsoleteness in your policy. However sometimes a popular idea at the time turns out to be be a bad idea.

      For example in the United States Bill Clinton Signed the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy. This at the time was actually considered to be pro-Gay bill. Where it prevent the military from trying to find gay people to kick out. However over time and culture has changed further, the Don't Ask Don't Tell was considered to be anti-Gay and needed to be repealed.
      If we get a young Pope, he may come up with an appropriate compromise solution at the time, then by the time he dies or resigns, the policy is completely outside the change in our values.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  5. So what religion does he belong to? by Marrow · · Score: 5, Funny

    linux, mac, vi, or emacs? :)

    1. Re:So what religion does he belong to? by j00r0m4nc3r · · Score: 5, Funny

      Eunuchs

  6. Re:viva Argentina and Bergolio!!! by RLiegh · · Score: 5, Informative

    the first non-european pope

    Whoa -slow down there, cowboy!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:African_popes

  7. Re:Humility? by operagost · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm curious to hear YOUR definition of humility. Really, I'd like to know.

    --

    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  8. Funtastic! by warrax_666 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Now will he renounce the current Catholic stance on condoms, so that perhaps we can save, oh, hundres of thousands or even millions of lives?

    Will he: Disawow the insane and puerile dogma of original sin?

    (Etc.)

    --
    HAND.
    1. Re:Funtastic! by kimvette · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Will he: Disawow the insane and puerile dogma of original sin?

      . . . and espouse the good news of salvation by grace which was promised by the one they claim to follow?

      Of course not. That would end Catholic guilt, and eliminate the need for indulgences.

      --
      The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
  9. Re:name change by OakDragon · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The tradition was started when a Pope named Mecurious (Mercury) was elected. He thought that a Christian Pope with a pagan name wasn't kosher (so to speak), so he took the name "John" (I think it was John).

  10. Re:Before anyone says it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    No, this is A Website for Advertisers, and one of the easiest ways to get a lot of page views is to post an article where all the angry atheists can come argue about who is the most bitter toward religion.

  11. Re:Humility? by ranton · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Being humble, but also believing that your views on how other people should live their lives are so righteous that others shouldn't even be able to decide for themselves, are mutually exclusive.

    --
    -- All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -- Edmund Burke
  12. No word yet on papal shitting location. by gestalt_n_pepper · · Score: 4, Funny

    The woods, however, are still the traditional choice.

    --
    Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
  13. Oh well. by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Better luck next time Richard Stallman.

  14. Re:lent by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 4, Funny

    KY jelly.

  15. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 4, Funny

    The church must have petered out.

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  16. In related news ... by PPH · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... still only black smoke from the US Congressional budget committees.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  17. Re:really, slashdot? by LordLimecat · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Because it has a substantial impact on the world.

  18. Initially a chemist by schneidafunk · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I find it interesting he was initially trained as a chemist. "Bergoglio taught literature, psychology, philosophy and theology before taking over as Buenos Aires archbishop in 1998."

    http://news.yahoo.com/francis-first-pope-americas-193844474.html

    --
    Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75. -Benjamin Franklin
  19. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by RoknrolZombie · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Since when has accuracy been any part of the Catholic Church's process?

  20. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Seeteufel · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Actually, you think in the wrong map. This person is a Jesuit. Jesuits are a very strange sect within the catholic power circles, educated and dangerous. SJ, not Argentinia

  21. Re:Haters Gonna Hate by hawguy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The same people who hated Benedict XVI and John Paul II will hate Pope Francis. How dare he believe in 2000 years worth of teachings about the sanctity of life and marriage being between a man and a woman when it's all so unfashionable?

    Why did liberal atheist's care so much what the Pope thinks. No one is holding a gun to your head to force you to be a Catholic. Why do so many liberals feel threatened by any source of power outside of government?

    Just because something is 2000 years old doesn't make it right. Should we bring back old testament style animal sacrifices as well?

    I have no problem with catholics being anti-gay and excluding gays from their church - if god is not the compassionate and forgiving god that they are always talking about it, well, it's their god and they can believe what they want.

    But where I do have a problem is when the members of the church try to deprive the rights of homosexuals outside of church.

  22. Re:Haters Gonna Hate by Internetuser1248 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Actually I hate the new pope because I love the bible and believe every word of it. You see the same part of the bible that says homosexuality is an abomination (Leviticus) also says:

    Leviticus 21:20-23 "or who is a hunchback or a dwarf, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles...because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary"

    Leviticus 19:27 "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."

    This new pope wears glasses and is clean shaven, therefore according to the word of god he is just as much an abomination as any gay and he is desecrating the sanctuary of the lord. Stone him to death plz.

  23. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 5, Informative

    The pope has always been the Bishop of Rome. It's difficult to deny that Peter was the first Bishop of Rome. Whether that makes him the first Pope can be a matter for debate, however. Part of it is how inerrant you believe the Bible really is: there's reason to believe that the "Upon this rock I shall build my church" verse in the Bible was inserted by those wishing to bolster the Papacy's claims.

  24. 2/3 majority by bugs2squash · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Why rounds of voting? Surely all these men are close enough to god to know his will and reach consensus on the first try.

    --
    Nullius in verba
  25. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by anagama · · Score: 4, Funny

    warning, NSFW for most workplaces, but an amusing Tim Minchin song about the pope:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTIorwtJbhE

    --
    What changed under Obama? Nothing Good
  26. Re:Humility? by Bucc5062 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    And the current President of the United States use to be a community Organizer and teach Constitutional law. These days his administration uses drones to bomb communities and seems to look the other way when Constitutional rights are stripped from US citizens.

    I guess people can change, or they play a great act.

    In the new Pope's world, being truly humble would be following the examples of Christ without the power of being a Cardinal. Perhaps it may be better to say the Pop was less egotistical then other Cardinals. Mother Teresa was humble, Pope Francis I is a powerful man who's done good deeds.

    --
    Life is a great ride, the vehicle doesn't matter
  27. Re:really, slashdot? by LordLimecat · · Score: 4, Insightful

    He might make statements that are held to be authoritative by 1.2billion people?

  28. Re:Before anyone says it... by cervesaebraciator · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Religious fellows are nerds in their own right too. They are up there with Star * groups, but less fan fiction recently. They do try though.

    Sociologically, they operate in similar ways as well. I say this as both a Star * fan and a religious fellow (though not a Catholic). In both groups, identity is tied to adherence ("Are you a Buddhist too?" is not far from "Are you a Trekkie too?"), consumption patterns reflect attachment (one has X-Wing models, the other crucifixes), intense debates occur over canon (the Gnostic gospels and the SW prequels have much in common, except one has better acting), and both groups hold in high regard those who have specialized knowledge about the object of their interest.

  29. Re:Haters Gonna Hate by houghi · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Theologians can persuade themselves of anything. Anyone who can worship a trinity and insists that his religion is a monotheism can believe anything -- just give him time to rationalize it.
                                                          -- Robert A. Heinlein, JOB: A Comedy of Justice

    --
    Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
  30. Re:Haters Gonna Hate by medcalf · · Score: 4, Informative

    Your bigotry is showing. I'm not Christian and even I know the Christian answer to this, which is that the old covenant of Leviticus was replaced by a new covenant from Jesus. What is especially ironic is that the Catholic Church does not have anything against homosexuals per se, so long as they are celibate. Which, by the way, is why there are so many homosexual priests, since priests must also be celibate.

    --
    -- Two men say they're Jesus. One of them must be wrong. - Dire Straits
  31. Re:Humility? by silanea · · Score: 5, Informative

    Here in Germany the Catholic and Protestant Churches run many hospitals, kindergartens and other welfare services which are funded not by the churches but entirely by the public, yet they impose rules on their employees based on their respective faith, ie. people have lost their jobs for getting a divorce, remarrying, outing themselves as homosexuals etc. The churches make a shitload of money through this system, and because they can publicly claim that they run soandso many percent of welfare services they get to influence public policy and politics. This all works so well because as religious organisations the churches get preferred treatment with regard to taxation, exemption from labour regulations and union rates etc. so they can undercut the private-sector competition. And since they are so good at it there are areas where the churches have a quasi-monopoly in welfare services, leaving workers dependent on them. And as long as the Conservatives are in office this will not change, since the churches offer them, well, let us call it PR support in exchange for keeping their special status intact.

    So many people in social industries essentially are forced to live by religious rules without actually being a member of those religions just to be able to get a job. And we all get to pay for it.

    --
    Rudolf Hess edited Mein Kampf. He was the very first grammar nazi.
  32. Re:Haters Gonna Hate by Hatta · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If the old covenant was replaced by Jesus, why does the Catholic Church care if they are celibate or not?

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  33. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Funny

    Im not sure its entirely accurate to call Peter the "first pope". The office as such did not exist, and the specific role of "pope" was never acknowledged by Peter or anyone else at that time.

    Well, there was this one guy (hint: his initials were J.C.) who said: "I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church ..."

    This was a pun because "Peter" means "rock" (JC was a funny guy). So if we followed biblical precedent, the next pope should have been ... Dwayne Johnson.

  34. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ebno-10db · · Score: 5, Funny

    or of that role being hereditary

    That's something the papacy has generally avoided.

  35. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by SteveFoerster · · Score: 5, Funny

    I heard this guy is the logical choice, since who better than an Argentinian to offer sanctuary to a German with human rights abuse issues?

    --
    Space game using normal deck of cards: http://BattleCards.org
  36. Re:Humility? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Really Slashdot? I get the whole Libertarian "take away marriage benefits from everyone" argument, but did you have to mod up the guy that just reduced gay relationships to the "selfish desires of people in a relationship that is destined to be sterile"?

    I know this place has been going downhill for a while, but I didn't think we'd stooped THAT low. How about we make our arguments without implying that LGBT people should just suck it up, stop being "selfish" and be heteronormative for the sake of the children?