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USPS Discriminates Against 'Atheist' Merchandise
fish waffle writes "Suspecting that their strongly branded 'Atheist' products may be treated differently by more religiously-oriented postal regions, Kickstarter success Atheist Shoes conducted an experiment. They sent 178 packages to 89 people in different parts of the U.S., each person receiving one package prominently branded as 'Atheist' merchandise, and one not. The results: packages with the atheist label were nearly 10 times more likely to be 'lost,' and took on average 3 days longer to show up when they did. Control experiments were also done in Europe and Germany — it's definitely a USPS problem."
what to label the feces I mail. 3 extra shitty days in transit.
Maybe they are simply falling prey to Acts of God.
Need to post some boxes that say 'contains god' and see if it gets there quicker than the control.
"XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve your problem, use more." - Anonymous Coward
Something with good enough QA that you do not need to pray it keeps working.
Does that mean ... they have no sole?
I'm sure there's a passage in the bible somewhere about delaying the goods in transit belonging to the non-believers. Probably in Levictus, alongside the bit about giving them bad haircuts if you're a barber.
You're a temporary arrangement of matter sliding towards oblivion in a cold, uncaring universe
Yeah, for a god who is apparently such a petty asshole he wants people's mail to be lost if they don't believe in him, but is too fucking lazy to do it himself.
shoes cant believe in god silly, they have no soul
The problem with slashdot is that most of its users were bullied and stuffed into lockers as kids!
If your shoes have no sole you need to return them ASAP for a refund.
Most products are agnostic, really.
but these are shoes. they can go to either heaven or hell 'cause they've got soles.
Kudos to Red Dwarf.
20 minutes into the future
Better pizza.
Just like Hitler, they went for the Poles first.
Cast off the shoe, Follow the gourd!
Ice Cream has no bones.
It's a sandal!
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.
Rimmer: Is this true?
Lister: Yeah. The last thing I heard, they sort of... robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.
Rimmer: Really?
Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, when shoes are happy that they'd get into heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.
Rimmer: Ah, what a sad story. Wait a minute.
[Thinks for a minute]
Rimmer: How did they open the car door?
In a universe sadly not our own, someone resembling Morgan Freeman appears behind those people and asks them to guess which commandment they're breaking.
USPS is the United States Postal Service, i.e. the government corporation that pretends to deliver crap.
So then, don't taunt them by putting tape with the word Atheist on it...
UPS = United Parcel Service, i.e. those brown-shirted dudes who intentionally smash your package with hammers to make it fit in the truck.
So then, don't taunt them by putting tape with the word Fragile on it...
I think you missed the point of the story - USPS cross-checked the packages and finding no cross, discarded them.
Eloi are stupid, throw morlocks at them!