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Increased Carbon Emissions Creating Giant Crabs

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-for-one-would-like-to-welcome-our-new-crab-overlords dept.

An anonymous reader writes "A lot of things in America are supersized: our portions, our drinks and now, apparently, our crabs. New research reveals that crabs can grow much faster and larger when water is saturated with carbon.This means that as greenhouse gas emissions grow, so will these crustaceans."

9 of 203 comments (clear)

  1. CRAAAAAB PEOPLE by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I for one welcome our steel pincered overlords.

    1. Re:CRAAAAAB PEOPLE by Curunir_wolf · · Score: 4, Funny

      Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum?

      --
      "Somebody has to do something. It's just incredibly pathetic it has to be us."
      --- Jerry Garcia
  2. Re:Well, that's it. by Squiddie · · Score: 5, Funny

    Giant Enemy Crabs are easy. Just flip them over and attack their weak point for massive damage.

  3. Ok by fyngyrz · · Score: 5, Funny

    We're going to need giant tubs of melted butter.

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
    1. Re:Ok by Golddess · · Score: 4, Funny

      As long as Cave Johnson isn't heading their development.

      --
      "I'm not sure I like the fugnutish tone you used in your post!" -RogL (608926)-
    2. Re:Ok by houstonbofh · · Score: 5, Funny

      Bigger crabs and lobster, and someone thinks this is a bad thing? I am going outside to rev my SUV for a while...

  4. Re:Well, that's it. by redneckmother · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait, just to check - exactly what kind of crabs are we talking about here. ... runs screaming into the distance, scratching madly.

    That was my first impression, too.

    I was reminded of graffiti I saw above a urinal at a drive-in theatre in Amarillo, circa 1972:

    Please don't throw toothpicks in urinal. Texas crabs can pole vault.

  5. STD? by Das+Auge · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was thinking of something completely different...

  6. Re:celebrate! by Culture20 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, but he'd have to stand there flexing muscles and glowing for two episodes to build up the power.