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In Iceland, Tap Cellphones To Avoid Incest

Posted by timothy on from the please-don't-repurpose-this-app dept.

Kozar_The_Malignant writes "Students at the University of Iceland have written an Android app that helps you avoid dating your cousins. The app accesses the Icelandic national genealogical database that contains information on all living citizens and their ancestors going back 1,100 years. Tapping two phones together will bring up an alert if you share a common grandparent." Just one of the consequences of having a population small enough (and well documented enough) to have a well-known genetic makeup.

13 of 296 comments (clear)

  1. Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do you really need an app to tell you who's family?

    1. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by SilentStaid · · Score: 5, Funny

      (I wonder at what stage in the dating/relationship procedure the phone tapping takes place -- you don't want to leave it too late, nor be in a rush and tap too early...)

      Here in the US I usually tap it after 3 good dinner dates.

    2. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by ebno-10db · · Score: 5, Funny

      it's "Bob son of George" and "Mary daughter of Jane"

      You mean "Worf son of Mogh" is an Icelander?

    3. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Lies.

      You definitely can put tokens in girls and get sex out. Although they usually prefer direct deposit.

  2. "Tap" phones? by denzacar · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Tapping" anything seems to me like a very poor choice of words when talking about incest.

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    1. Re:"Tap" phones? by interkin3tic · · Score: 5, Funny

      Also seems like it could be super awkward from start to finish.

      Scenario one: You think you're hitting it off. You suggest tapping phones. You find out you weren't hitting it off.

      Scenario two: You are actually hitting it off. You think tapping phones would be good so you don't spend too much time wooing someone who may turn out to be a closer relative than you'd like. The other party was having a good time, but now it's a little more obvious that you want to mash genitals together, and there's increased sexual tension, making it more stressful for them or for you, and you ruin it.

      Scenario three: You are hitting it off, have successfully navigated increasing sexual tension, not too fast and not too slow. You are about to start making out, but then you decide to check. This kills the mood.

      Scenario four: you hit it off, you don't rush things, you don't kill the pre-makeout mood, you're already swapping saliva. You check right before putting on the condom. Network lag, it takes a few minutes before you get the results back, the guy becomes nervous in the meantime, and can't perform.

      Scenario five: you hit it off, you don't rush things, you don't kill the pre-makeout mood, you check while putting on the condom... and it's positive, you two are second cousins twice removed or something. I think it's second cousins who can, statistically speaking, reproduce and their chances of having recessive alleles show up is not any more likely than someone who is not related, so it's not inbreeding genetically. But it's still... weird. Do you go ahead and screw? Do you look up on wiki examples of other couples who were related in the same way?

      Scenario six: you're already married, and your wife is going into labor with your first born. It takes quite a while, and you're bored, so you test this on a lark and... oops... you're twins separated at birth. Awkward.

    2. Re:"Tap" phones? by GameboyRMH · · Score: 5, Funny

      Scenario 5.5: You're approaching climax when your phone gets knocked off the side table and hits hers on the floor. The app makes the banjo tune noise that indicates you're related...just as you both reach the height of passion 8-(

      --
      "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
    3. Re:"Tap" phones? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Besides, this whole app idea is impractical.

      Better to just outsource all potentially sexual dating in Iceland to yours truly, I'm not Icelandic.
      %100 percent incest protection. Because I care.

    4. Re:"Tap" phones? by OakDragon · · Score: 5, Funny

      If it's a Windows phone, it's called "bumping uglies."

      --
      Dark Reflection
    5. Re:"Tap" phones? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Marketing slogan: Tap the glass before you tap the a$$

  3. The Test by revoemag4 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tap that before you tap that.

  4. Nightmare by jomama717 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I awoke in a daze - sticky, smelling of stale alcohol, only imagining that her head would hurt as badly as mine when she finally awoke.  Vague memories of drinks, friends, laughter, and sex.  Lots of sex.  As I picked my pants up off the floor, my cell phone fell from the pocket and by some cruel twist of fate tapped her cell phone lying nearby..."

    --
    while [ 1 ]; do echo -n -e "\xe2\x95\xb$((($RANDOM&1)+1))"; done
  5. Thanks but... by rmdingler · · Score: 5, Funny

    The likelihood that I'd pick up a cousin at the family reunion is orders of magnitude greater than turning to /. for mating advice.

    --
    Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

    Ernest Hemingway