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In Iceland, Tap Cellphones To Avoid Incest

Posted by timothy on from the please-don't-repurpose-this-app dept.

Kozar_The_Malignant writes "Students at the University of Iceland have written an Android app that helps you avoid dating your cousins. The app accesses the Icelandic national genealogical database that contains information on all living citizens and their ancestors going back 1,100 years. Tapping two phones together will bring up an alert if you share a common grandparent." Just one of the consequences of having a population small enough (and well documented enough) to have a well-known genetic makeup.

21 of 296 comments (clear)

  1. Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do you really need an app to tell you who's family?

    1. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Aguazul2 · · Score: 5, Interesting

      In Iceland AFAIK people are called "Bob son of George" or "Mary daughter of John", so there aren't any surnames to make it obvious. It makes me wonder how the database can uniquely identify you, though. (I wonder at what stage in the dating/relationship procedure the phone tapping takes place -- you don't want to leave it too late, nor be in a rush and tap too early...)

    2. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      Iceland is one of the few places that still use the Ancient Germanic Naming (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_names). This is based upon your father's (or rarely mother's) first name.

      Thus, if siblings lose contact with another, it is very possible their decedents would not know their cousins by name.

    3. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Not tapping that?

      Or not even registering in her consciousness as existing?

    4. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by SilentStaid · · Score: 5, Funny

      (I wonder at what stage in the dating/relationship procedure the phone tapping takes place -- you don't want to leave it too late, nor be in a rush and tap too early...)

      Here in the US I usually tap it after 3 good dinner dates.

    5. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      I was taking the slow "get laid or friend-zoned trying" approach

      There's only one result from that approach, still, it's better than the full assault. You've probably learned by now that something in between is better.

      If you're suggesting there's no escape from the friend zone, there is. The secret is cold-turkey no-contact for a while (I haven't dialed in the exact timespan, but I've confirmed 1 year separation can do it), and improving your life in some way during that time (status based like better job, higher income, new car, but anything with growth helps like learning a new language, travelling, volunteering). Eventually reunite and all you gotta do is not be stupid and good times may not only be had, but you can actually build a relationship which is the whole point of pining for a friend (otherwise there are other ways to get a quickie or cheapie that won't pay off long run).

      It works because the brain changes for attraction and chemistry are in different locations and fade at different rates. A friendzone situation has attraction in there, at least weakly (you don't have to be beautiful, but you definitely can't be a slob), but the problem isn't that the chemistry is missing but that it's negative. Improving your life without them adds to your confidence, shows that you don't need them (and thus wanting to share your life with them is a valuable gift and not you feeding off them), and sets up a vector that demonstrates that they should have gotten in on the ground floor but here's the next chance.

      It's a lot of work but if you are friendzoned and you know them well enough you will be able to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze.

    6. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by ebno-10db · · Score: 5, Funny

      it's "Bob son of George" and "Mary daughter of Jane"

      You mean "Worf son of Mogh" is an Icelander?

    7. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      If you're suggesting there's no escape from the friend zone, there is

      Escaping from the "friend zone" requires maturing enough to realize that women aren't just vending machines you put niceness tokens into until sex comes out.

    8. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Lies.

      You definitely can put tokens in girls and get sex out. Although they usually prefer direct deposit.

    9. Re:Don't you know who your cousins are? by ProzacPatient · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I think the friend-zone phenomena is typically a result of, or combination thereof; immature women (esp. teenagers), women who knowingly take advantage and men who have a self-image problem.
      On the other hand there are men who do actually believe you can put niceness tokens in until sex comes out and women can typically spot that from a mile away.
      And then from personal experience there are cases where a man genuinely loves a woman to the point he would lay down his life for hers but she continually pushes him aside; it's not a nice place to be in, it's emotionally frustrating and generally not worth putting up with so the parent comment's suggestion of separation is not a bad idea because it'll give you time to breathe, mature and maybe she'll realize what she lost.. or not but you'll be better off as a free man from such emotional tyranny.


      Last but not least is a tidbit from the Bible; "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9).
      Listening to ones heart often leads to irrational decisions and therefore many regrets so the Bible again councils; "thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you," (Proverbs 2:11). How wise it is to think before you feel!

  2. "Tap" phones? by denzacar · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Tapping" anything seems to me like a very poor choice of words when talking about incest.

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    1. Re:"Tap" phones? by interkin3tic · · Score: 5, Funny

      Also seems like it could be super awkward from start to finish.

      Scenario one: You think you're hitting it off. You suggest tapping phones. You find out you weren't hitting it off.

      Scenario two: You are actually hitting it off. You think tapping phones would be good so you don't spend too much time wooing someone who may turn out to be a closer relative than you'd like. The other party was having a good time, but now it's a little more obvious that you want to mash genitals together, and there's increased sexual tension, making it more stressful for them or for you, and you ruin it.

      Scenario three: You are hitting it off, have successfully navigated increasing sexual tension, not too fast and not too slow. You are about to start making out, but then you decide to check. This kills the mood.

      Scenario four: you hit it off, you don't rush things, you don't kill the pre-makeout mood, you're already swapping saliva. You check right before putting on the condom. Network lag, it takes a few minutes before you get the results back, the guy becomes nervous in the meantime, and can't perform.

      Scenario five: you hit it off, you don't rush things, you don't kill the pre-makeout mood, you check while putting on the condom... and it's positive, you two are second cousins twice removed or something. I think it's second cousins who can, statistically speaking, reproduce and their chances of having recessive alleles show up is not any more likely than someone who is not related, so it's not inbreeding genetically. But it's still... weird. Do you go ahead and screw? Do you look up on wiki examples of other couples who were related in the same way?

      Scenario six: you're already married, and your wife is going into labor with your first born. It takes quite a while, and you're bored, so you test this on a lark and... oops... you're twins separated at birth. Awkward.

    2. Re:"Tap" phones? by GameboyRMH · · Score: 5, Funny

      Scenario 5.5: You're approaching climax when your phone gets knocked off the side table and hits hers on the floor. The app makes the banjo tune noise that indicates you're related...just as you both reach the height of passion 8-(

      --
      "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
    3. Re:"Tap" phones? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Besides, this whole app idea is impractical.

      Better to just outsource all potentially sexual dating in Iceland to yours truly, I'm not Icelandic.
      %100 percent incest protection. Because I care.

    4. Re:"Tap" phones? by OakDragon · · Score: 5, Funny

      If it's a Windows phone, it's called "bumping uglies."

      --
      Dark Reflection
    5. Re:"Tap" phones? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Marketing slogan: Tap the glass before you tap the a$$

  3. The Test by revoemag4 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tap that before you tap that.

  4. Nightmare by jomama717 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I awoke in a daze - sticky, smelling of stale alcohol, only imagining that her head would hurt as badly as mine when she finally awoke.  Vague memories of drinks, friends, laughter, and sex.  Lots of sex.  As I picked my pants up off the floor, my cell phone fell from the pocket and by some cruel twist of fate tapped her cell phone lying nearby..."

    --
    while [ 1 ]; do echo -n -e "\xe2\x95\xb$((($RANDOM&1)+1))"; done
  5. Re:No incest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Things often get banned in response to being pervasive and problematic, and permitted where they're too infrequent to cause widespread public concern. I'm totally unsurprised that the "redneck" states found the need for lots of restrictive inbreeding laws.

  6. Re:No incest by dgatwood · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Wrong. Things are banned where they're considered *problematic* and permitted where they're NOT considered *problematic.*

    Right.

    Clearly, this means that liberals have decided that fucking your cousin is A-OK, despite the fact that it increases the chance of genetic defects in the children of that union.

    Wrong. Marrying your cousin is unlikely to cause problems—the risk is only slightly higher than the risk in the general population. What causes problems is repeated inbreeding of close relatives over the course of several generations.

    The fundamental thing you're missing is why incest is a problem in southern states. In the South, people don't move around that much. Most of the folks you meet are third, fourth, fifth generation residents of a given town. And the ones who aren't are usually from a couple of towns over. This means that there's a very high probability of being related to many of the people you meet. Left alone, this would result in significant inbreeding problems within just a few generations. Therefore, cousin marriages are problematic.

    In California, most of the people you meet are transplants from somewhere else. This means that there's almost zero probability of being related to anyone you meet. Therefore, first cousin marriages are not problematic in California, not because they won't ever be problematic if they occurred, but because they're about as likely as the Cubs winning the world series, and because the probability of multigenerational inbreeding (the real problem) is basically zero.

    --

    Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

  7. Thanks but... by rmdingler · · Score: 5, Funny

    The likelihood that I'd pick up a cousin at the family reunion is orders of magnitude greater than turning to /. for mating advice.

    --
    Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

    Ernest Hemingway