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Apple Leaves Journalists Jonesing
Hodejo1 writes "Apple traditionally has big product announcements in the early spring, so around February both the mainstream press and the tech blogs began to circulate their favorite rumors (the iWatch, iTV). They also announced the date of the next Apple event, which this year was in March — except it didn't happen. 'Reliable sources' then confirmed it would be in April, then May and then — nothing. In withdrawal and with a notoriously secretive Apple offering no relief the tech journalists started to get cranky. The end result is a rash of petulant stories that insist Apple is desperate for new products, in trouble (with $150 billion dollars in the bank, I should be in such trouble) and in decline. The only ones desperate seem to be editors addicted to traffic-generating Apple announcements. Good news is on the horizon, though, as the Apple Worldwide Developer Conference starts June 10th."
This was in evidence last night, as Apple CEO Tim Cook spoke to the press at the All Things D conference. Cook's statements were mostly the sort of vague, grandiose talk that gets fed to investors on an earnings call, but it's generating article after article because, hey, it's Tim Cook.
Not only will it blend* the most hipster smoothie you have ever tasted, but the sleek iBlender can also play music** and videos***, make phones calls****, get you lost in your travels***** and more!
*Blades sold separately in the iTunes store.
**Requires iTunes
***Requires AppleControl iMplants
****Requires monthly tithing
*****Feature, not a bug. Just ask our lawyers.
Hey, *you* try taking over a cult sometime, buddy! You hand people their Kool-Aid and all they can do is complain that Ascended Father would have sweetened it more.
The cow says "Moo." The dog says "Woof." The Timothy says "Thanks, valued customer. We appreciate your input."
It may have been unintentional on your part, but I like the use of "Buy The iDevice++" as opposed to "Buy The ++iDevice".
or more likely they're throwing all the toilet paper they can find in the toilet and pulling the flusher repeatedly flooding your bathroom and making a huge mess that someone is going to have to clean up. They may also be starting a fire.
WTF is Jonesing ?
Are they drinking poisoned cool ade? (Rev Lim Jones)
Speaking in a deep voice? (James Earl Jones)
Singing Tenor (Tom Jones)
I'll admit I wasn't born in the USA, but English (English) has been my main language for over 50 years
What kind of dogs did you have?
Apple used to be a lot more reticent regarding future products. The fact that Mr. Cook is talking/hinting about future products is confirmation that Apple knows its best days are behind it. Mr. Cook is trying, unsuccessfully it appears, to regenerate the buzz around Apple.
Yeah, maybe it's time to shut Apple down and give the money back to the shareholders.
Only to idiots, are orders laws.
-- Henning von Tresckow
Shih Tzu, why do you think it was playing in the toilet?