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Marriages Spawned From Online Dating As Satisfying As From Traditional Dating
sciencehabit writes "Millions of people first met their spouses through online dating. But how have those marriages fared compared with those of people who met in more traditional venues such as bars or parties? Pretty well, according to a new study. A survey of nearly 20,000 Americans reveals that marriages between people who met online are at least as stable and satisfying as those who first met in the real world—possibly more so."
My Wife and I got married on OKcupid. I have to say that it worked out okay, despite the difficulty of long distance for a year, travelling across the country every 2 months.
However I think that online provides a different veil from what you get IRL, Because your able to filter out what you want to say to a person, though its easier to narrow down interests.
On one side I married a beautiful geek woman who is motivated to change the world, on the other side I didn't know about the extent of the despression / suicidal thoughts from abuse and neglect.
YMMV
I "dated" a woman online, and found out about her depression and suicidal thoughts after a couple of weeks, so I wouldn't assume that online is always a better way to hide stuff. In some cases the distance gives you an objectivity missing from real life. It all depends.
I can agree to that.
I met my missus online while farting around online. We spent the first few hours together in a chat at an online forum, tossing sarcasm at a TV documentary on love while it was being broadcast. Found out she lived across town... long story short, we wound up married a little over a year later.
It is amazing how you can not only assess her intelligence, but it's easier to be yourself when you're not distracted by deep green eyes and a gravity-defying bustline.
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
All joking aside, I should add a PS: It's been 7 years since we met.
It's like any other marriage, really... you still have to work at it. You still have to wake up next to her. You still have to debate, argue, compromise, and most importantly? In spite of my peking on a laptop and her messing about on an iPad 3 feet away, you still have to get along in real life.
Online is just one of many ways to meet someone initially... it still takes a shitload of work to make it work.
IMHO? I spite of the rather adventurous life we've led together since (both for good and ill), it's still worth it. :)
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
My ultra-orthodox Jewish grandparents lived in a society where fixed marriage was pretty much the norm, and that's what they did as well. Anecdotaly, it never seemed to me like that generation had worse marriage. More rigorous methods are unavailable: there probably aren't reliable questionaires in fixed-marriage societies, and other posters have pointed out that divorce rates can be misleading. I wonder if the key to a happy marriage is just managing your expectations.
Your story rings similar to mine. We haven't gotten married yet (known her for several years and been together for almost as long) and I didn't meet her on a dating website but a regular forum that I co-ran. Same kind of girl as mine. The whole depression angle seems to be a common one when you get into relationships online.
Can someone please mod parent all the way up?
There's no silver bullet to make relationships work. Online can be an excellent way to meet the right person, but every relationship takes work, commitment and compromise.
That's one thing about NOT getting married younger, once you get past a certain age, what's left out there is largely damaged goods, lots of crazy chicks out there. Not all, but a LOT of them. After a few years, you start catching the good ones coming out of bad marriages, many of those are damaged too, BUT, if you find one coming of marriage that didn't go off the deep end, you have a pretty good, strong minded woman which is kinda nice.
Trouble is with the latter one, you have to possibly put up with kids....ugh. However, meet them a few years after that, often the kids will be old enough to be out of, or just about out of the house, then, you don't really have that much interaction with them, or dependence issues.
But yeah, you gotta watch out, lots of crazies out there...crazies are often fun in the sack, but be careful not to get too close or attached to them, they can really spin your world badly.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........