Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Say What? Wading Through the Nonsense In Microsoft's Re-Org Memo

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the spend-more-time-with-family dept.

curtwoodward writes "Steve Ballmer's attempt to reorganize Microsoft into a more focused company will define his legacy as CEO. So you'd think the wordsmiths in Redmond would take a little time ensuring their message was crystal-clear, right? Not exactly. Ballmer's big, gung-ho memo to Microsofties, posted on the company's website, is chock full of nonsense and corporate executive doublespeak — or, as Ballmer might say, `high-value experiences' that will `involve repartitioning the work' and `drive partners across our integrated strategy and its execution.' Huh?" Honest language in corporate communications is a rare quality. I suspect there's a special language-butchering training course that most C-level executives enthusiastically complete.

9 of 165 comments (clear)

  1. They are now generating memos entirely with this by flarb936 · · Score: 5, Funny

    http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html Easy, no need to hire copywriters anymore.

    --
    ralphbarbagallo.com
  2. Just like the bullshit generator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    This shit is just like the bullshit out of that : http://cbsg.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/live

  3. Take It Back by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ballmer will make you want to take back those nasty things you said about Bill Gates in the late '90s.

    1. Re:Take It Back by binarylarry · · Score: 5, Funny

      What people don't know is that Ballmer is a secret Linux FOSS champion. In reality, he's actually Richard Stallman's secret half brother and together they're going to bring down the largest proprietary software company in the world.

      --
      Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
    2. Re:Take It Back by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 3, Funny

      In reality, he's actually Richard Stallman's secret half brother

      Maybe if Richard Stallman shaved off all his hair, we'd be able to see the family resemblance . . . ?

      Or we could photoshop one of Amanda Bynes' wigs onto Steve Ballmer and see if he looked like Stallman . . . ?

      Actually, Steve Ballmer, wearing an Amanda Bynes wig . . . would look frighteningly like Amanda Bynes . . . wearing an Amanda Bynes wig.

      --
      Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    3. Re:Take It Back by chromas · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually, all three are played by Fred Savage.

  4. So good by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 4, Funny

    How wonderfully appropriate.

    --
    (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
  5. Ballmer at Tanagra? by A10Mechanic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Shaka. When the walls fell.

  6. Re:The memo is actually only one sentence long by zbaron · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... in three big dimensions: strategy, capability, collaboration, agility, common goals, divisional strategies.

    Did Steve also head up the Spanish Inquisition?