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Queen's WWIII Speech Revealed

EzInKy writes "This BBC article provides details of the script the United Kingdom's Queen was to deliver in the event of a nuclear holocaust. The document, released by the government under the 30-year rule, was drawn up as part of a war-gaming exercise in the spring of 1983, working through potential scenarios. In it, the Queen was expected to urge the people of the United Kingdom to 'pray' in the event of a nuclear war. Although it was only a simulation, the text of the Queen's address — written as if broadcast at midday on Friday 4 March 1983 — seeks to prepare the country for the ordeal of World War III. The script reads: 'Now this madness of war is once more spreading through the world and our brave country must again prepare itself to survive against great odds. I have never forgotten the sorrow and the pride I felt as my sister and I huddled around the nursery wireless set listening to my father's inspiring words on that fateful day in 1939. Not for a single moment did I imagine that this solemn and awful duty would one day fall to me. But whatever terrors lie in wait for us all, the qualities that have helped to keep our freedom intact twice already during this sad century will once more be our strength.'" I prefer Tom Lehrer's approach.

23 of 147 comments (clear)

  1. Blatant Lies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Not for a single moment did I imagine that this solemn and awful duty would one day fall to me"

    It's fun to see those words in a prepared speech. :)

    1. Re:Blatant Lies by Urban+Garlic · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Well, in fairness, it was prepared for the Queen, not necessarily by the Queen. It was her advisers who imagined the solemn and awful duty falling to her.

      --
      2*3*3*3*3*11*251
    2. Re:Blatant Lies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      She meant when she was a child in 1939 listening to her father's address. Come on, people, reading comprehension!

    3. Re:Blatant Lies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Context is everything. This sentence comes immediately after describing herself and her sister listening to their father's 1939 speech. I have no doubt that at not a moment during that speech did she imagine that duty falling to her.

      Reading comprehension: some people don't have it.

    4. Re:Blatant Lies by jnork · · Score: 5, Funny

      Reading comprehension is fine. Attention span is... ooh! Shiny!

      --
      Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
  2. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! by CajunArson · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here's the speech:

    "We are the champions, my friends.
    And we'll keep on fighting, 'till the end!
    We are the Champions,
    We are the Champions!
    No room for losers, cause we are the Champions,
    Of the World."

    Oh... wait.. you meant THAT Queen?
    Nevermind.

    --
    AntiFA: An abbreviation for Anti First Amendment.
    1. Re:WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! by chinton · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was thinking more along the lines of "Another One Bites the Dust". Great minds think similarly.

    2. Re:WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! by Empiric · · Score: 4, Informative

      Or, more overtly on the topic, the lesser-known "Hammer to Fall"...

      For we who grew up tall and proud
      In the shadow of the mushroom cloud
      Convinced our voices can't be heard
      We just wanna scream it louder and louder

      What the hell we fighting for?
      Just surrender and it won't hurt at all
      You just got time to say your prayers
      While you're waiting for the hammer to fall

      --
      ~ Whence do you come, slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?
  3. Pray by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    In it, the Queen was expected to urge the people of the United Kingdom to 'pray' in the event of a nuclear war.

    What's with the scare quotes? Does the submitter think there's something weird about the Supreme Governor of the Church of England urging the membership of her church to pray?

    1. Re:Pray by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Insightful

      What's with the scare quotes?

      Because its a euphemism for "put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye".

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  4. I'd like my two minutes back by SJester · · Score: 5, Informative

    This was a waste of time, OP. RTFA - the speech was not written for the Queen, it was never intended to be read by the Queen under any circumstances. It was scripted for a wargame scenario, a fictional engagement. You might as well post the inspiring speech written for the US President in the film "Independence Day."

  5. Re:Seriously? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    What would be more interesting would be the text of the sealed letters the Prime Ministers gave to nuclear submarine crews to open if all communication was lost with London...

    I'm guessing Thatcher's would be 'Nuke the Bastards!', and some Labour PM's would be 'Better Red Than Dead,' but I'm not so sure about the rest.

  6. Reagan's sound check by intermodal · · Score: 4, Informative

    Just over a year later, on August 11, 1984, President Reagan's sound-check could have given her a chance to use the speech if the Russians had itchier trigger fingers: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

    --
    In SOVIET RUSSIA... erm...NSA AMERICA, the Internet logs onto YOU!
  7. Not really by oGMo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Definitely funny, but not exactly ... you could have a Zombie Preparedness Plan or Alien Invasion Plan or Ant Uprising Plan ... you might even write it yourself, but that doesn't mean you actually believe it's going to happen. It's just what you'd do if it did happen, quite probably involving a speech where you utter your surprise that it actually happened.

    --

    Don't think of it as a flame---it's more like an argument that does 3d6 fire damage

  8. Re:Seriously? by Billly+Gates · · Score: 5, Informative

    Apparently someone who was not alive or mature yet during the Cold War.

    It sounds laughable today, but back then the threat was very scary and real. WWWIII almost happened several times from the Cuban Missile Crises, to faulty radars for NORAD, to this being misinterpreted, to several instances of American fighters from Alaskan accidentally flying into Siberian airspace.

    If nuclear war would have happened it would have consisted of several hundred nuclear bombs, radiation, a nuclear winter, and perhaps a new ice age if big enough with dust.

    The USSR and its satellite republics owned 1/3 of the world and the influence of communism was growing and spreading which is why Americans got involved in both Korea and Vietnam.

    It sounds laughable to the millenial generation probably smirking at this, but as a child we had drills in our schools and TV shows demonstrating what would have happened once the first nuclear launch happened.

  9. Jon Stewart British queen voice? by mattack2 · · Score: 3, Funny

    OK, who read that while hearing Jon Stewart's British queen voice?

  10. Re:You pray if you like by ledow · · Score: 5, Informative

    Perhaps you missed that most of the British Royal Family have served and fought in wars at one time or another. Possible exception of the Queen Mother, I suppose.

    One of the current princes was out flying Apache gunships and has spoken of gunning down terrorist camps in Afghanistan from it. His brother also served. And his father.

    I'm about as far from a royalist as you can get, but you can't claim they don't serve - in fact they have more military time than anyone else I know - and not just as back-end colonels pushing about figures on a wargaming board like it used to be.

  11. Re:Those 1983 wargames almost *STARTED* WWIII by Zedrick · · Score: 3, Informative

    There's a very good documentary about it:

    http://www.channel4.com/programmes/1983-the-brink-of-apocalypse

    Well worth watching (and available on TPB)

  12. Re:Seriously? by bmk67 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    No. The purpose of duck-and-cover was to escape falling debris - in the event that you weren't within the blast radius, but were within the survivable zone of the shock wave.

  13. Re:So.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    He never said the Queen ruled, and if you think the Queen writes all her own speeches you're an idiot. Sorry, but honestly. Yes, she "could" have easily "wrote" those words, but let's be honest -- she didn't. Was made aware of them, yes, sure, I can believe that -- I'd be surprised if she wasn't. Suggested changes? Maybe. Wrote them? Not a chance.

    He also never said the Queen was a "fucking president". He never even said she was a "president". He never actually even said she was a "head of state", though actually she is that.

    (Your use of "wrote" suggests you're American. That in turn suggests perhaps leaving discussions over the famously unwritten British constitution either to the British or to people better educated in it than yourself. Deal? Thanks. It will hurt my head a hell of a fucking lot less.)

  14. Re:You pray if you like by Colin+Douglas+Howell · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Because you know if there's ever an imminent threat the members of the Royal Family aren't going to be sat at Buck House with a cuppa tea counting down the seconds...they'll be on their merry way to the other three corners of the globe.

    Any member of the Royal Family who did that would rightly be disowned by the rest of the family and the British public, and would probably be looked down upon by much of the rest of the world as well. If the monarch herself did it (and I can't imagine Elizabeth II doing it in a thousand years--she may look like a little granny, but she has far too much backbone for that), she would effectively have abdicated. In the face of such a selfish, craven act, Britain would either find itself a new monarch with more spine, or get rid of the monarchy entirely.

    The Royal Family enjoys a lot of privileges, but in the end they exist to serve the British state, as its personification. Their lives are far more controlled and circumscribed than ordinary people.

    Just look at the case of Edward VIII to see how Britain might treat a monarch who doesn't take his duty seriously.

  15. Re:You pray if you like by Colin+Douglas+Howell · · Score: 4, Informative

    Yeah they serve all right.. I'm guessing it's not too terribly dangerous to fly about in an armored helicopter shooting at a bunch of asiatic hillbillies with AK-47s.

    With AK-47s, and heavy machine guns, and RPG launchers, and portable surface-to-air missiles and such. Oh, and there's always the risks of bad weather and mechanical failure inherent to helicopter flight. Helicopters are dangerous, period, and the Apaches are far from invulnerable. A number have been lost in Afghanistan and Iraq, and some crews have died.

    In general, when a piece of military hardware is heavily protected, it also faces powerful threats that make that protection necessary. Otherwise it'd just be carrying extra dead weight that would better be replaced with useful equipment. The military isn't in the business of building invulnerable weapons or letting soldiers fight in "god mode".

    And don't you think their opponents wouldn't love to have the coup of bringing down a royal? Just by being in the combat zone, they put themselves at risk.

  16. Re:Also by allcoolnameswheretak · · Score: 4, Informative

    Not sure about a zombie apocalypse speech, but if you want apocalyptic speeches for zombies, tune in to Fox News commentators.