Slashdot Mirror
Excess Coffee May Be Linked To Early Death
Mr.Intel writes "Should we believe it? Those of us under 55 who drink a lot of coffee – more than four cups per day – may be at greater risk of an early death. And not just death from heart problems, but death from all causes. The study, published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings (abstract), followed people for almost two decades, and found that in both sexes, younger people were more likely to die of anything than people who drank less."
Why would you even want that?
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Death from all causes is the leading causes of death for people under 55.
Every good junk scientist knows that correlation always equals causality. I am a member of the junk scientists world club. We meet every year. Everyone flys to the west to get to our meeting so that no one will end up flying off the end of the earth. Correlation equals causality is thesis of every speach. So it can't be that people addicted to coffee might be more likely to be addicted to something else as well. If coffee is correlated to death then coffee must cause death!
People who drink more coffee also have more sex.
It's the sex that kills 'em off. But what a way to go! Buzzed and polished.
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
Coffee drinkers studied by Mayo Clinic scientists have a greater chance of dying than NIH coffee drinkers.
It's supposed to be completely automatic, but actually you have to press this button.
Add DMSO and apply directly to the skin. It's the only way to be sure.
If you want a vision of the future, imagine a youtube comments section scrolling - forever.
"If a and b or correlated"
*facepalm* Someone slap me, I must need more coffee!
Free Martian Whores!
I want a fork to stand up in the coffee, ideally.
No, the fork should dissolve.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Stop considering taking stock tips from random slashdotters. Not even as a joke.
That's almost worse than trolling "Ask Slashdot" for career advice.
Yeah, us random slashdotters haven't learned a thing about the stock market over the years.
sent by my butler's assistant's lackey's peon
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
No, the fork should bend out of the way to avoid entering the coffee at all.