Slashdot Mirror
Canadian Military Developing Stealth Snowmobile
innocent_white_lamb writes "The Canadian military is currently testing a $620,000 hybrid-electric stealth snowmobile. Testing includes speed, towing capacity, endurance, mobility, usability, and of course, noise emissions. The testing and most other information about the stealth snowmobile is secret and very little information has been released other than the fact that it does exist. One document reads 'The noise level of an internal combustion engine cannot be reduced to an acceptable level for missions where covertness may be required, especially given the increased propagation of sound in cold, dry, Arctic air.' Therefore, National Defence's research agency is 'pursuing the development of a "silent" snowmobile for winter operations in Canada, specifically in the Arctic.' Michael Byers, an Arctic policy expert, questions the need for a stealth snowmobile. 'I don't see a whole lot of evidence that criminals and terrorists are scooting around Canada's North on snowmobiles and that we have to sneak up on them,' he said."
Step 1.
Paint it white.
Step 2.
Have a beer eh!
One of them falls in and sinks. Another one goes in and pulls him back into the boat and starts giving him mouth-to-mouth. He stops and says "Phew! I don't remember Stosh smelling this bad!". And the other one says, "Yeah, and I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit, either."
I attempt to cross Nunavut in a Range Rover. Captain Slow takes a rather novel approach. And Hammond uses a state of the art stealth /snow mobile/. Tonight on Top Gear. *cue theme*
Join the Slashcott! Stay away entirely Feb 10 thru Feb 17! Close all tabs to prevent autorefresh!
Commies to her right, stealth snowmobiles to her left. Does DEFCON go to 11?
Michael Byers, an Arctic policy expert, questions the need for a stealth snowmobile. 'I don't see a whole lot of evidence that criminals and terrorists are scooting around Canada's North on snowmobiles and that we have to sneak up on them,'
Then Michael Byers is not quite the expert: when the ice cap in the North Pole shrinks or disappears completely, a whole new theater will come into play. Claims have already been filed for integration of the North Arctic Ocean into their exclusive economic zones from several countries, including Canada.
The three laws of thermodynamics:(1) You can't win. (2) You can't break even. (3) You can't even quit.
Stealth moose already exist. And they can be more effective at taking out an unsuspecting vehicle than a Predator drone...
Canada has concerns about protecting the sovereignty of its arctic territories. Snowmobiles could prove useful in that.
Battle for the Arctic heats up
Defending our sovereignty in the Arctic
Why everyone wants a piece of the Arctic
much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don't even know that fire is hot - George Orwell
I hope they do decide against the F-35 contract. It's ridiculously overpriced for our military, especially given that the F-35s aren't even all that well designed for frozen-weather operations.
Personally, I think Boeing's Super Hornets are a much better offer. Half the projected price, bigger control surfaces for easier landings on ice and better agility in the air, and two engines so that if one stalls in the cold the other can keep the plane going.
By the way thank you for purchasing our exported talent.
Just repayment for all those ex-Avro aerospace engineers that helped put Apollo on the moon.
-- Alastair
Probably end up with a small internal combustion engine generator of some sort feeding and electric motor. Shouldn't be too hard to muffle the noise if you can keep the RPMs down to a reasonable range. I'm not sure how you block the IR signature. Any combustion based motor is going to bright lite a FLIR system. Maybe the Canadians will get clever - use it to heat beer* (or is that just the English?).
*Beer is consumed, IR blocked by body and whatever insulation the human is wearing. Added bonus is that course becomes more random over time, confusing targeting systems.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
I dunno if you have any experience pulling an ahkio sled for several miles with a squad in rucks and overwhites, but it freaking SUCKS. Tennis rackets or white rockets, it doesn't matter, it is an awful experience. There has been no experience in my life (which has experienced some exhausting things) that made me more exhausted.
When some Canadian "Arctic policy expert" opines that no one needs a small, quiet, efficient prime mover because of a lack of "terrorists", I am reminded why no one asks "Arctic policy experts" about military matters. Same reason I don't ask soldiers about environmental policy.
THL phish sticks
Plus, you can tow 10 skiers behind a snowmobile. And a dog team seems to meet most of your requirements. Depending on the size of missile you can strap to a dog.
In Soviet Russia, if you have the dog and the warhead you can skip the missile...
Don't worry, we are already working on a defense, called global warming.
April Fool's is actually celebrated August 18th in Canada.
*** Don't be dull.***
i know more than a few hundreds fellow canadians that would love the opportunity to burn your white house down again
Don't flatter yourself. That was the British, who were your masters.
Cross-country skiing also takes a fair amount of training and practice, and there are going to be times when somebody you need on your team doesn't have either the skill or the time to learn it. Having some quiet way to get them where they need to be sounds like a good idea.
Good, inexpensive web hosting
Canada has had these for years. Check em out all over Google eh! https://www.google.com/search?q=dog+sled&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qpIRUsPeLqHOyAGx2oA4&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=993
There's one government near me that's spent more than all that put together try to fix an IBM provided payroll system.
Easier than breeding stealth horses...
I've got better things to do tonight than die.
Yes. I was a hired mercenary for the dark ubergovernment of illuminati jews involved in countless illegal wars to advance the agenda of... i forget who. they gave us this big briefing and explained it all but they lost me when they started talking about how the CIA / Kennedys was trying to kill all the Christians AND topple the Godless regimes too. The intro video was good though.
Anywho... on the topic of military equipment and its use in advancing my jew banker / ubergovernment christian / corpotocracy / and communist new world order (which is tricky, as you can imagine) I would think my opinion SHOULD carry a little bit of weight. More so than say... yet another batshit insane conspiracy theorist or arctic policy expert. At least as it pertains to the ground soldier.
THL phish sticks
has been used for arctic warfare for hundreds of years as a cheap, effective way of stealthily moving a snowy environment. Hopefully the stealth sled won't ruin those capabilities.
Not always useful in the Canadian Arctic. Pack ice sometimes extends for miles out to sea. It's a maze of 3-10 metre ridges that are an absolute bitch to navigate. Trying to pull ammo and supplies through on skis would be absolute torture. Hell, just crossing on a snowmobile through the pack ice on each side of the bay in Cape Dorset (maybe a kilometre and a half) left me sweating like a horse in -25 degree weather.
There's not a lot of pack ice on the old Finnish/Soviet border....
Crumb's Corollary: Never bring a knife to a bun fight.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federation_of_Quebec_Maple_Syrup_Producers#Strategic_reserve
What part of `yes no` don't you understand?
The Queen [has] a delegate who [has] no power what-so-ever...
So how does the Canadian system handle a double dissolution? - Not saying you're wrong, I'm genuinely interested because here in Oz it's the job of the Queen (as represented by the GG) to force a new general election should one be required to break a budgetary deadlock. Surely you don't use the idiotic government IOU's the US uses to work around the occasional budgetary deadlocks brought on by zealous ideologues staring each other down in the house and senate?
Note that the Aussie GG is appointed by the Aussie parliament and rubber-stamped by the Queen. The prime-minister has the (on paper) power to sack him/her without notice or reason, so the power is not solely invested in either the GG or the PM. However it is virtually a political impossibility for a PM to sack the GG in a double dissolution situation and then fail to immediately call a general election. The accepted protocol for a double dissolution is to give the PM ample opportunity to call an election before contemplating sacking him and installing a caretaker government. Any PM willing to go as far as sacking the GG to hold onto power would almost certainly lose their job in a no-confidence vote, either in their own caucus, in the house of reps, or in the next election.
At the end of the day the Queen is a ceremonial head of state in Australia, she has one very specific political duty of any consequence, the role of a non-partisan "umpire" in the rare cases where the senate has rejected the government's budget at least twice in a row (aka: "blocked supply").
More than a few of our mates in the US cannot wrap their head around the 'ceremonial' qualifier but most of the commonwealth can see the difference and actually strongly prefer it to a US style republic. Thing is, US politics is so ubiquitous in the mass media that until the recent round of revolving PM's in Australia, many Aussies firmly believed they voted for a PM in the same way that the US votes for a president, in fact I'm sure there's more than a handful of Aussies that still hold that misconception.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
Stealth moose already exist. And they can be more effective at taking out an unsuspecting vehicle than a Predator drone...
My money's on the stealth polar bears.
After Spectre or whoever heisted their Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve last year, it only makes sense to beef up their military. To do any less would be irresponsible.
After all, next time it might be C.O.B.R.A. Make sure to load those snowmobiles with parachutes.