Microsoft's New Smart Bra Could Stop You From Over Eating

walterbyrd writes "A team of engineers at Microsoft Research have developed a high-tech bra that's intended to monitor women's stress levels and dissuade them from emotional over-eating. The undergarment has sensors that track the user's heart rate, respiration, skin conductance and movement — all of which can indicate the type of stressful emotions that lead to over-eating, according to Microsoft researchers. The data is sent to a smartphone app, which then alerts users about their mood."

Comments

The blue tits of death.

[quonsar]

Time to reboob.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[Anonymous Coward]

Never thought Microsoft Support would be uplifting.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[gorehog]

Maybe it's just easiest to detect emotional distress in women's breasts? Maybe it's harder to find a place on a male body that gives the same feedback that is already in contact with a piece of clothing? This might just be the low-hanging fruit.

Yes. I typed that.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[Darinbob]

This works for men. The fact that you have to wear a bra causes enough shame that you stop eating.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[cold fjord]

Never thought Microsoft Support would be uplifting.

Depends if you're wireless or not.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[somersault]

Sigh.

On behalf of men everywhere, I'd just like to point out that not everyone is as inappropriately horny or stupid as this guy. Or at least, if we are, we try to keep quiet about it.

Re:The blue tits of death.

[Anonymous Coward]

They were using a Mac.

They really know the geek market

[Anonymous Coward]

Many of us guys that visit Slashdot could use a bra. Too bad it doesn't run Linux.

Re:They really know the geek market

[Anonymous Coward]

stuff a raspberry pi into it

Re:They really know the geek market

[Anonymous Coward]

My problem is that using Windows 8 tends to bunch up my panties.

Re:They really know the geek market

[cold fjord]

stuff a raspberry pi into it

Stuffing pie is what it is trying to prevent. That would be self-negating.

What about the bro/manssiere version?

[MrEricSir]

Steve Ballmer could model it.

Re:shut up you stupid app

[ozmanjusri]

I'm hungry!

Hi, I'm your bra assistant. It looks like you are hungry. Would you like some diet advice?
(o) Yes (o) no.

At least that'd explain Clippy's pervert-on-the-playground look...

Re:They're not being assholes!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Fat is something to fight. "

...Might I recommend ketosis?

Re:shut up you stupid app

[EdIII]

Dude... I'm dying over here.

That would be the perfect user interface design for such a device. Nipple.Navigation(tm)

How this will end up

[Anonymous Coward]

Apple will introduce an iBra that you can automatically unclip with an expensive iPhone app only.

Microsoft will then introduce a Windows Bra that is functional but unexciting, and be slightly irritating to operate.

An open source Linux powered bra will subsequently be developed, but it will take so long to fiddle with until you achieve the desired result that you end up forgetting what your goal was in the first place.

UI?

[the eric conspiracy]

So is this going to have a touch interface?

Re:shut up you stupid app

[gorehog]

Gives a whole new meaning to TouchPoint.

Re:shut up you stupid app

[drkim]

Nipple.Navigation(tm)

I can imagine the headline now:

"Apple sues Microsoft over smart bra. Claims rounded bra corners and white color violate design patents."

Shock Jock

[Tablizer]

What's surprising is that nobody here thinks this is an inherently sexist device.

Rumor has it they are coming out with the Shock Jock, to zap your nuts if you eat too much. Either that, it makes you use Windows Ate.