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Computer Geeks As Loners? Data Says Otherwise
Computerworld reports on an analysis of census data to compare marriage rates for different professions. They found the rate for tech workers to be similar to that of other white-collar professions, and significantly higher than the rate for the general population. 62.1% of people with IT jobs are married, as are 56.5% of scientists and 65.5% of engineers. This compares well to people in legal professions (62.0%), medical jobs (61.3%), and finance (62.4%). 51% of the adult U.S. population was married as of the 2010 census. Tech workers do have a slightly higher percentage of people who have never married — 26.7% of IT workers and 31.9% of scientists — but they also have slightly fewer divorces.
65.5%! We win!
Scruting the inscrutable for over 50 years.
We are normal human beings like the rest of the world.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
the rate for tech workers to be similar to that of other white-collar professions
So that's "tech workers", not computer geeks. Even if you accept the idea that "computer geek" is a meaningful classification, it's no longer the case that only computer geeks work with computers. Tech workers have profiles similar to other white-collar professionals because "tech work' are just white collar professions.
Just what I needed to read on singles shaming day.
It's encouraging that a higher than average number of IT workers are married but a higher percentage also have never married because I interpret that to mean IT folks don't just commit, but they stay married too. (I am by profession in IT and I know I am completely committed to my wife and that it's reciprocal, but of course I'm just one person.) There's the term "geek chic" which I guess means nerds are more attractive than they used to be, and I guess that in the end "nice guy syndrome" works to our advantage.
In fact, this is yet another symptom. Their crushing loneliness compels them to wife the first woman that gives them a chance. I've seen this pattern repeatedly throughout the course of my career. It makes work related social events even more unbearable, having to endure exposure to so many unhappy marriages and whatnot.
A "computer geek" is a person who specializes in comptuers.
A tech worker is someone who works in the computer field.
Despite them being similar, they aren't the same. For example, call center tech support is filled with tech workers, but given the scripts and stuff they have, they don't have to specialize in the field.
The computer geek accepts computers as a hobby. This is different than a tech worker, as they end up with a general lack of scripts and go directly into the free-form world.
And this is basically stuffing a wide variety of carrers into one "tech worker" category. Programmers may be in a less social environment (although this varies), tech support specialists may be in a social environment while feeling socially isolated, etc.
I suspect that when women want to settle down and marry, they're after stability. Obviously, a man who has his act together enough to have an IT degree and a steady-paying job is stable, is likely to make a reliable husband/father, and is thus, worth marrying.
The transition point where women are happy to marry, is usually 20-ish for people without tertiary qualifications, 30-ish for people with bachelor degrees or better. What I've seen in the IT industry bears this out -- everyone under 30 is either single -- or if they have good social skills -- dating. EVERYONE over 30, without exception, is married. Even the complete, unwashed neckbeards.
In contrast, the people I've known, who were cocky winners in high-school, but otherwise dumb as dogsh*t, and stuck on low-paying jobs or the dole? Single, or bouncing between unstable, shitty relationships with fat ugly single mothers.
Stability is catnip for women looking to marry.
Sure... In the same way that "paying taxes" counts as a "perk" of civilization. You realize that getting married means you get to pay MORE in taxes, right?
// Plan to stay that way.
/// With the same woman for 20 years, and no plans to upgrade.
//// Fix the damned CSS on Slashdot "Classic", Dice!
/ Not married.
And you attribute this to him not marrying? For what reason?
Marriage isn't a magical, divine thing; it's nothing more than a title. It won't fix bad relationships, and it won't magically make people stay together.
Thank you Dave Raggett
As far as 'marriage as title' goes, I think it's a bit more than that.
The sneering 'social justice' hipsters hate it, because they know that marriage entrenches "privilege" in the white middle class. 'Marriage', done properly, is designed to preserve and grow cultural, social and economic wealth in the white middle classes.
You're right -- it's just a "label". It's a powerful one, though.
My uncle has 3 dogs and a tiny patch of grass outside his house. He told a joke once: Why are women like dog turds? They're both easier to pick up when they get older.
I think the study might have some merit, but only because the definition of geek has changed a lot.
I got into computers in the early 80s as a very young kid. By the time I really got involved with a "geek" social scene, there was a mix of people. Before that, computers were most definitely nerd toys -- there were very few "typical" folks who gravitated toward them. Even so, I've worked with people who want nothing to do with computers once they are off the clock, people who have a healthy level of hobby involvement with computers, hardcore gamers, and extremely hardcore "computer nerds" -- mom's basement types. The first group are the most likely to be in a stable relationship from my experience. I'm happily married with 2 kiddos, and I put myself in the "healthy level of hobby involvement" camp. It's surprisingly hard to find time to do anything these days with 2 young kids. You certainly won't see me playing video games for 10 hours at a clip anymore...I used to do that back in the day though.
I do have anecdotal evidence from my dealings with "tech workers" that divorces are very common. Lots of people I work with are on Wife #2 or more. I think a lot of that might be the crazy amount of time that work and computer hobbies can suck out of your life -- you really have to be matched up with someone who will either tolerate it or is a "geek" themselves and understands. And like I said, once kids come along, I can see huge problems if you decide to disappear for hours on end and expect your partner to just handle the kids. If you work an IT job for one of the crappier employers out there that demands on-call duty and tons of hours a week, only the shallowest of spouses will stick around and only if you make good money to make up for you not being there.
My other piece of strictly anecdotal evidence is the prevalence of...non-traditional...relationships among the geekier set. One US-born guy I worked with was divorced and constantly trying to bring his girlfriend from China to the US -- no clue how they met. Lots have girlfriends they met online. Others have had obvious mail-order brides. That could sound a little stereotypical, but I've seen LOTS of guy's wives who barely speak English and look like they're pretty much there to cook and clean for them. Maybe I'm just working with the wrong sorts, but that's a very common theme in my experience.
Non-traditionals aside, I think a lot of the evidence the study cites is just because computers are now a normal part of our lives. Anyone can be a Facebook user. Smartphones are designed to be used by non-techies. There are plenty of "IT" jobs that don't involve hardcore coding or systems/analysis work. My job borders on the nerdy side, but only because I make it that way.
I think that if you actually do find the right person, and that person is less of a geek than you are, it balances you out. My wife is incredibly smart, but not obsessed with computers and tinkering the way I am. (She's a finance geek.) If you find someone who's just there for the money or has absolutely no interest in what you do, that's where the divorces and bitterness creep in. I'm almost at 15 years married -- and she hasn't tossed me out yet!
Went on a ski trip with about 10 people recently. One was a self-described loner who was married. You have to qualify the term "loner" to a certain extent. He was quite sociable and seemed to enjoy the trip, but it was a special event and not a group he hung out with on a regular basis.
Anyway in the IT group here, everyone that I know of is either in a relationship or married. Included in this group is one of the most unsocial people I've ever met, - at least when it comes to work. But there are folks at the other end of the spectrum too. I picked the word "unsocial" because it isn't like he's rude or actively avoids people. He just doesn't participate in the common sorts of workplace social activities. No lunches. No going out for coffee. No happy hours. Even if it's an official company party, either at the office or someplace else, he won't be there.
I work as an engineer, and interact with many other engineers. Few of them completely fulfill the "awkward technophile" stereotype. Many of us do prefer small gatherings, finding large social gatherings exhausting. It may not be as exciting a meat-market, but it is still possible to find someone to marry at small gatherings.
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