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Inside NSA's Efforts To Hunt Sysadmins

An anonymous reader writes "The Snowden revelations continue, with The Intercept releasing an NSA document titled 'I hunt sys admins' (PDF on Cryptome). The document details NSA plans to break into systems administrators' computers in order to gain access to the networks they control. The Intercept has a detailed analysis of the leaked document. Quoting: 'The classified posts reveal how the NSA official aspired to create a database that would function as an international hit list of sys admins to potentially target. Yet the document makes clear that the admins are not suspected of any criminal activity – they are targeted only because they control access to networks the agency wants to infiltrate. "Who better to target than the person that already has the ‘keys to the kingdom’?" one of the posts says.'"

147 comments

  1. Hide in plain sight by L4t3r4lu5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is why I insist that my official job title is "Soup Dispenser Technician, Second Class" on all official documents.

    --
    Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
    1. Re:Hide in plain sight by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      If only you could pass those damned astro-navs....

    2. Re:Hide in plain sight by jellomizer · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      Sysadmins are also usually the easiest target to get in.
      standard password: 1amgod
      Being that they are required to fix problems 24/7 that means they have a "secret" back door on their network so they can get in.
      Once they are in they have a lot of access to the companies systems.

      We can go, well those guys are just dumb, however I am willing to bet most of you who are sysadmins have some little back door just in case.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    3. Re:Hide in plain sight by ravenlord_hun · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Small-time admins maybe. If one works as part of a larger team, automation and documentation is king - any such backdoors would get anyone into trouble, quick.

    4. Re:Hide in plain sight by LordThyGod · · Score: 1

      Small-time admins maybe. If one works as part of a larger team, automation and documentation is king - any such backdoors would get anyone into trouble, quick.

      I guess you have a definition of "small time", but I am thinking of alleged Chinese theft of Google source code. The "backdoor" was IE and very clever phishing.

    5. Re:Hide in plain sight by Bigbutt · · Score: 1

      Sysadmins can work in a big company and still be 'Small Time'. We're fairly small but automation and documentation lets 5 admins manage 1,200 systems.

      [John]

      --
      Shit better not happen!
    6. Re:Hide in plain sight by SuperTechnoNerd · · Score: 1

      Mine is Magical Mystical Overlord of Tubes

    7. Re:Hide in plain sight by RabidReindeer · · Score: 4, Informative

      Small-time admins maybe. If one works as part of a larger team, automation and documentation is king - any such backdoors would get anyone into trouble, quick.

      R
      O
      T
      F
      L

      Worked in Fortune corporations. If I don't stop laughing soon, I'll pass out.

    8. Re:Hide in plain sight by Minwee · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm sure you would have made it further than "Technician Second Class" if it hadn't been for that unfortunate incident with the gazpacho soup at Captain Hollister's table.

    9. Re:Hide in plain sight by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2

      In previous jobs, the closest thing to a "back door" is a SSH key. In fact, it has been also the front door too, because some machines have any remote access blocked unless it is via SSH public key authentication. This makes the auditors happy, and it also gets rid of having to change passwords every 15-30 days. It also gets around the fact that three wrong passwords would mean a permanent lockout until an admin reset the account by hand (and documented the reset in JIRA.)

      In times past, a "secret" back door has been usable. However, with audits, political infighting, separate departments of IT, and the pressure of a sysadmin to constantly justify their existence or be replaced by a H-1B who will work for 1/10 the salary, there might be a known account, but that's it. In fact, most admins document the case of -no- backdoors for CYA reasons.

      Most audit tools will easily find backdoors. Part of basic Windows admin training is to search AD for user accounts with rights they shouldn't have. Similar on the UNIX side with Solaris role auditing. A back door likely will be found eventually and there will be Hell to pay for it.

      Finally, a smaller company, this might be doable. A larger company has so many people that a sysadmin might have a backdoor, but the network guys with the IDS/IPS will pick up its use when a SSH tunnel gets formed to a machine on the outside.

    10. Re:Hide in plain sight by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Pfft. Automation and no documentation would allow 5 admins to support thousands more. Documentation doubles or triples workload.

    11. Re:Hide in plain sight by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      are you crazy? that's exactly how they hacked the Gibson!

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    12. Re:Hide in plain sight by coinreturn · · Score: 1

      If only you could pass those damned astro-navs....

      Just write, "I am a fish," on the exam.

    13. Re:Hide in plain sight by Midnight_Falcon · · Score: 3, Informative

      As ineloquently as RabidReindeer may have put it, he's 100% spot on here. I've done security audits for big companies with large teams -- admins insert backdoors al over the place, then their buddies figure out they did it, and instead of being reprimanded they start using it too for convenience. Just because they have a big, publically-traded company doesn't mean the CIO/CISO cares about anything more than compliance on paper.

    14. Re:Hide in plain sight by RabidReindeer · · Score: 2

      As ineloquently as RabidReindeer may have put it, he's 100% spot on here. I've done security audits for big companies with large teams -- admins insert backdoors al over the place, then their buddies figure out they did it, and instead of being reprimanded they start using it too for convenience. Just because they have a big, publically-traded company doesn't mean the CIO/CISO cares about anything more than compliance on paper.

      Actually, in many cases, the backdoors were created on demand from management because doing things securely was too just inconvenient for them. The old "Git 'er Dun!" principle.

      Or because the security administrator was in a bad mood the day something idiotic came in and didn't challenge it. I knew a lowly applications programmer who was keeping his own personal files in the product data set because of that.

    15. Re:Hide in plain sight by jellomizer · · Score: 2

      A typical NOT ME!! approach.

      The funny part is how many sys-admins think they are so good, until there is an independent security audit done.

      Now you shouldn't get insulted. There are a lot of good sysadmins... However many have gaps, and their ego gets in the way of making things more secure.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    16. Re:Hide in plain sight by doccus · · Score: 1

      Small-time admins maybe. If one works as part of a larger team, automation and documentation is king - any such backdoors would get anyone into trouble, quick.

      No.. The backdoors are simply more sophisticated, that's all..

    17. Re:Hide in plain sight by gbjbaanb · · Score: 1

      true, all the admins I know are super-hot on locking down what you want to do, but always expect themselves to have full, uncontrolled, access to everything - including all the stuff that is 'not permitted' under some 'security' policy.

      I think of the last place no-one had youtube or facebook (fair enough TBH) except.. guess who did.

  2. A poem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Do not as I do, do as I say: I am the NSA!
    It's alright for me to bust into others' systems all day.
    What's that you say? I can do that too then, it's ok?
    The NSA says nay!
    Do not as I do, but as I say!

  3. This has gone beyond madness by MrDoh! · · Score: 5, Insightful

    People need to be arrested for this. The people who ordered it done, wrote the reports, signed off on it, and anyone who did it. Ship some of them to various other countries for trials too, let everyone get into the action and let it be known to governments that this is not to be accepted.

    --
    Waiting for an amusing sig.
    1. Re:This has gone beyond madness by rmdingler · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Agreed. I think the law enforcement officers that are charged with this task will arrive at the NSA when they finish arresting the bankers and brokers from the housing bubble derivatives scandal.

      --
      Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

      Ernest Hemingway

    2. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      This is kinda their jobs. It's what they do. They're a SPY agency. They do spyish things.

    3. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      They're arresting Barney Frank finally? About fucking time!

    4. Re:This has gone beyond madness by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Your mention of shipping people 'to various countries' gives me an idea...

      Since all the 'extraordinary rendition' bag, drag, and torture kids at the CIA are still running around in arrogant impunity, going so far as to just yoink inconvenient documents from the Senate Intelligence Committee(seriously, most of the members of that are appeasnik fuckwits who basically worship the clandestine services, so it must be really, really bad if the CIA is embarrassed in front of them. Also, if there are things the clandestine services do that even that part of the senate isn't allowed to know about, can we really maintain the pretense that civilian government is actually in anything resembling control?) how about pitting two problems against one another?

      It'll be an exciting contest, like a reality TV show; but with higher stakes, rules as follows:

      The NSA will be the intelligence-spooks team: their job is to dig up as much dirt on the CIA as possible, by whatever l33t haxx0ring necessary, and try to have the CIA neutralized by political and/or public outrage, at least to the point of organizational collapse, to the point of wholesale hangings-from-the-lampposts for bonus points.

      The CIA will be the wet-ops creeps team: they will have to 'disappear' key NSA personnel to our worldwide network of extralegal torture dungeons fast enough to keep the lid on their dirty laundry, and try to drive the NSA to the point of institutional paralysis or collapse, with extra points awarded for any actually-true facts obtained during the 'enhanced interrogation' sessions.

      Gentlemen, to the starting line, and may you both lose!

    5. Re:This has gone beyond madness by LookIntoTheFuture · · Score: 3, Insightful

      People need to be arrested for this.

      Absolutely. It's astonishing that it hasn't happened already. Where's the line? What will it take to cross it? That is the scary part.

      --
      Brave Sir Robin ran away. ("No!") Bravely ran away away. ("I didn't!")
    6. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I can see the headlines now.....
      Government Officials Arrest Themselves!

      willy

    7. Re:This has gone beyond madness by stiggle · · Score: 1

      Actually they're an Intelligence Agency - they're supposed to to Intelligent things :-)

    8. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Ben4jammin · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Where's the line? What will it take to cross it?

      I think the issue is that there was a line, and it got crossed. Once you cross it once, it becomes easier to cross, because hey it wasn't so bad last time.

      Then, if you are put in relative isolation (enough for "group think" to take over) then it becomes easier still because you are validated for crossing it (dude we just saved lives by crossing the line...besides the "bad" guys are crossing it)

      And this continues until you really can't even remember why you crossed it the first time, but there is so much danger out there you don't have time to really contemplate it, either. Until one day you realize that you are looking in the mirror each morning at someone who has become a stranger.

      But by then it is too late...to challenge it now would precipitate an identity crises that isn't nearly as much fun as seeing yourself as the hero of the world.

    9. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What I don't understand is how folks on here (generally intelligent, reasonable people...I think) don't understand how the NSA isn't breaking any laws and therefore aren't legally doing anything wrong (that we know, of course). You might think there should be a law against what they're doing or think it is unconstitutional, but until congress and the President pass a law against such activities, there isn't anything keeping them from doing it in the name of national security. It will take the Supreme Court to rule something as unconstitutional, not you and me.

      So you can post all you like about what you perceive as wrong but until you can convince legislators to take this to task and write laws supporting privacy and the like, this is the law of the land whether you and I like it or not.

    10. Re:This has gone beyond madness by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 1

      This is more of a matter for the UN Security Council. The government of the USA has just declared war on all the sysadmins of the world. Note, I said the government of the US, and not the citizens.

      . . . oh, I forgot . . . the US government has a veto vote on the UN Security Council, so good luck with that . . .

      I wonder how that will affect business, like in, "I can't do business with you . . . we are in a state of war with you . . ."

      --
      Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    11. Re:This has gone beyond madness by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 5, Interesting

      We are dealing with an extremely well funded, well staffed, and well equipped professional criminal organisation. Whatever it's actual mandate is, the NSA has taken it upon itself to be the worlds premiere cyber-crime hacking group, accountable to no state, code, man, or law, and who regard the Internet and all computers on it-- foreign or domestic-- as fair game for fraud, intrusion and seizure. The organisation is out of control; without moral compass, budgetary restraint, or regulatory oversight.

      It is only a matter of time before individuals and managers within the NSA create actual links with the criminal fraternity and begin to engage in for-profit cyber-crime. Indeed, this has probably occured already.

      And should the cyber-crime divisions inside the NSA ever make common cause with their criminal counterparts in the financial sector -- God help Western Civilisation. The closest parallel I can think of is the rise of the nobility-church-state alliance in the ancien regiem and the subsequent ruination of France prior to the revolution.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    12. Re:This has gone beyond madness by NatasRevol · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Actually, they're a security agency. It's even in their name.

      Not that hacking into every sysadmins computer would give anyone security, but that's another matter.

      --
      There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
    13. Re:This has gone beyond madness by NatasRevol · · Score: 2

      Intelligence agents trying to collect intelligence illegally ?

      FTFY

      --
      There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
    14. Re:This has gone beyond madness by king+neckbeard · · Score: 2

      That's like saying it's a cop's job to shoot people.

      --
      This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    15. Re:This has gone beyond madness by NatasRevol · · Score: 1

      You don't seem to understand what constitutional is then.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F...

      "A "search" occurs for purposes of the Fourth Amendment when the government violates a person's "reasonable expectation of privacy. Katz's reasonable expectation of privacy thus provided the basis to rule that the government's intrusion, though electronic rather than physical, was a search covered by the Fourth Amendment, and thus necessitated a warrant.[35][40] The Court said that it was not recognizing any general right to privacy in the Fourth Amendment,[41] and that this wiretap could have been authorized if proper procedures had been followed.[40]"

      --
      There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
    16. Re:This has gone beyond madness by L4t3r4lu5 · · Score: 3, Funny

      How would the veto work if the UN voted out the USA?

      "I veto your voting us out!" "You can't do that, you've been voted out so you therefore have no veto." "But the vote is vetoed, so we weren't voted out!" "..." "..."

      --
      Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
    17. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      While waiting for the arrests, I'll go terminating all my relations to anyone I care about, take some armed close combat lessons, stop having sex with anyone but myself and u..using po..porn to avoid honey traps, refresh my mad Krav Maga and Aikido skills and buy a pair of cool sun glasses to cover my dark soul. Oh, and build some system independent tripwires.

    18. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How would the veto work if the UN voted out the USA?

      I get what you're saying, but being voted out of the UN might be a blessing, and they could vote Israel out too, so we could both go into 'loose cannon' mode with no pretense about being nice about it.

      In addition, the US could give them 24 hours before nationalizing the UN building. I've always said the UN's headquarters belong in Geneva.

    19. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A "search" occurs for purposes of the Fourth Amendment

      In these cases, the crime isn't being committed against the actual target of the investigation. The crime is being committed by a state actor (NSA) against a US corporation (by compromising the infrastructure of the sysadmin who works for the US corporation).

      US persons, working for US corporations, are being pwned by the very agency that is mandated to provide them with information assurance.

      The closest military analogy I can come up with is worse than the use of human shields: "OK, Private, you know the enemy uses US civilians as human shields, and that's when we use the .50 caliber to make sure the bullet goes through the US civilian in order to get the terrist hiding behind him!"

    20. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Zumbs · · Score: 1

      I love lines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

      - NSA operative

      --
      The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head
    21. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Minwee · · Score: 3, Funny

      "OK, Private, you know the enemy uses US civilians as human shields, and that's when we use the .50 caliber to make sure the bullet goes through the US civilian in order to get the terrist hiding behind him!"

      "But I don't see anyone hiding behind any of those civilians!"

      "They can be tricky. Start shootin' anyway."

    22. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 1

      The vote has to pass before the US is out, and the vote doesn't pass if the US vetos it. So the US isn't voted out.

    23. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      NSA:1
      SYS ADMIN:0
      checkmate

    24. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      [citation needed]

    25. Re:This has gone beyond madness by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      But by then it is too late...to challenge it now would precipitate an identity crises that isn't nearly as much fun as seeing yourself as the hero of the world.

      Congratulations, you just described the mode in which basically everyone operates. We all just tell ourselves we're being pragmatic as we sell out our futures. We don't live for today or tomorrow, but for an outcome that will never exist as long as we don't alter our behavior.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    26. Re:This has gone beyond madness by BobMcD · · Score: 1

      It turns out there may be a way...

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U...

    27. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm going to be the true AC (with emphasis on the "C" aspect) and disagree. Time for a devil's advocate position:

      The FSB, the ISI, and Chinese intel are doing the same exact things, except that whatever they find is going to be immediately used for their country's economic advantages. When intruders from China broke into US solar companies, copied off masks and other trade secrets, then started producing panels for less than the costs of the rare earths, this destroyed a good part of the US economy. Were the US to try that to another country, say by stealing engine designs from Chery and selling cars for less than the cost of the steel in them, there would be a trade war, if not a real war.

      I'm not worried about the NSA... I'm quite worried about the other foreign agencies who are doing far more damage in the shadows.

    28. Re:This has gone beyond madness by idontgno · · Score: 1

      Think of it as unplanned pen testing. Kinda like how rape is unplanned sex.

      --
      Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
    29. Re:This has gone beyond madness by PPH · · Score: 1

      Assuming the targets are not US citizens, and are outside the US, arrested for what?

      Espionage. Most countries have applicable laws.

      This is what intelligence agencies are supposed to do.

      Apprehend the guilty parties, try them and shoot them for spying. This is what countries security services are supposed to do.

      Hell, most countries don't exclude their own territory nor citizens from being targeted by their own intelligence agencies.

      So China spies on its own citizens. I don't think anyone would be shocked if they arrest a foreign agent for doing the same.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
    30. Re:This has gone beyond madness by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 1

      The FSB, the ISI, and Chinese intel are doing the same exact things, except that whatever they find is going to be immediately used for their country's economic advantages.

      Of this I have no doubt, but where I disagree is on

      a) The scale: I guess the NSA is acting on a scale of one if not two orders of magnitude higher than its counterpart agencies abroad. This no matter how you measure activity.

      b) Discretion: At least if the Russians or the Chinese were monitoring us, we wouldn't be hearing about it as much as from the NSA. While it is a data collection machine, the organisation is acts in an amatuerish fashion when it comes to seeking, storing, and protecting its information and activities.

      c) Whatever about the industrial reasons for Russian/Chinese espionage, the NSAs domestic programs appear to have no reason to exist other than simply to exist. Or else the NSA is actively gearing up for a cuop d'etat in the United States.

      The NSA is a different beast than its counterprats or historical ancestors. We are witnessing the creation of a new, powerful, and very sinister type of human organisation.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    31. Re:This has gone beyond madness by PPH · · Score: 1

      So you are saying that, even if such behavior is wrong, the fact that someone else does it makes it OK?

      One of the NSA's duties was supposed to be ensuring the security of our networks from foreign spying. Doing so and exposing foreign exploits with the idea that they are wrong and disrupt global trade would have been the moral high ground. But we lost that position a long time ago. We can no longer argue that other nations should follow our example because our example is no better then theirs.

      And if you think that the NSA/CIA are only collecting foreign intelligence for the benefit of US corporations, you are wrong. These organizations have a long history of collecting domestic intelligence and handing it to their friends in the company across the street.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
    32. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Ignore that moron. I suspect it's the same people posting the same thing over and over (though I can't confirm). No matter what arguments you use, these people will just move on to the next NSA article and claim that the NSA isn't doing anything illegal and that the Supreme Court's opinions are always correct (paradoxical authority worship). Something is unconstitutional when it violates the constitution. Fuck 'em.

    33. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 1

      A deadlocked security council can't block the general assembly's ability to issue "recommendations". The GA can't vote to do anything real under this provision.

    34. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's why terrorists are such a good target for a never ending war. They can look like anyone, dress in any manner, speak any language or have any citizenship. They even try to hide themselves as "regular people". It's the perfect justification for indiscriminately targeting everyone. Run over a kid in your Humvee? No Problem. Kids can be terrorists too.

    35. Re:This has gone beyond madness by BobMcD · · Score: 2

      Maybe you didn't click the link. Here's the salient part:

      It has been argued that with the adoption of the 'Uniting for Peace' resolution by the General Assembly, and given the interpretations of the Assembly's powers that became customary international law as a result, that the Security Council 'power of veto' problem could be surmounted.[34] By adopting A/RES/377 A, on 3 November 1950, over two-thirds of UN Member states declared that, according to the UN Charter, the permanent members of the UNSC cannot and should not prevent the UNGA from taking any and all action necessary to restore international peace and security, in cases where the UNSC has failed to exercise its 'primary responsibility' for maintaining peace. Such an interpretation sees the UNGA as being awarded 'final responsibility' - rather than 'secondary responsibility' - for matters of international peace and security, by the UN Charter. Various official and semi-official UN reports make explicit reference to the Uniting for Peace resolution as providing a mechanism for the UNGA to overrule any UNSC vetoes;

      So this is the approximate procedure:

      1) Introduce to the Security Council a resolution to restore "security" to the internet by barring the United States from hacking everybody.
      2) US vetoes.
      3) Introduce to the Security Council a resolution removing the US from the Security Council and barring the United States from hacking everybody, in order to restore "security" to the internet.
      4) US vetoes.
      5) Bring resolution from '3' to the General Assembly.
      6) Resolution passes, because the GA is empowered to prevent war.

    36. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sometimes the naievete goes beyond madness. They ARE the cops. Who will arrest them? You think you live in a democracy and own the government. You are the victim of mind manipulation. +5 Insightful????

    37. Re:This has gone beyond madness by ubrgeek · · Score: 1

      > Kids can be terrorists too.

      That's right kids! And now it's easier than ever with Mattel's My First IED!

      --
      Bark less. Wag more.
    38. Re:This has gone beyond madness by ubrgeek · · Score: 1

      More likely to challenge it now would precipitate a cut to the agency's annual budget.

      --
      Bark less. Wag more.
    39. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    40. Re: This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I didn't know that every sysadmin was a US citizen

    41. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This assumes the other contries are much worse at it as they havent been caught doing similar things or much better at it as they havent been caught doing similar things.

    42. Re:This has gone beyond madness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is America dammit, if you work for government, your are immune from such responsible behavior. That same responsible behavior get everyone else imprisoned.
      (sarcasm)

      Also in America we use terms like "nations security" "terrorism" "enemy of the state" to excuse are selves from violating every other countries law and rules. We own and run the UN, other countries economies, [sounds extreme, not meant to be read as extreme]. But when countries to it to us and use the same terms, or to each other they must imprisoned or executed.

    43. Re: This has gone beyond madness by cbiltcliffe · · Score: 1

      I didn't know that every sysadmin was a US citizen

      Where does the GP make anything even remotely resembling this claim?

      --
      "City hall" in German is "Rathaus" Kinda explains a few things......
  4. A limerick by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    There once was an NSA operative from Nantuckett
    Whose ________ was so _______ he could ________.
    He said with a _________ as he wiped off his __________,
    "If my __________ was a _________ I would __________ it."

    1. Re:A limerick by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There once was an NSA operative from Nantuckett
      Whose ass was so ass he could ass.
      He said with an ass as he wiped off his ass,
      "If my ass was a ass I would ass it."

    2. Re:A limerick by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There once was an NSA operative from Nantuckett

      Whose ________ was so _______ he could ________.

      He said with a _________ as he wiped off his __________,

      "If my __________ was a _________ I would __________ it."

      LIKE!!!!

  5. Perhaps it is rather time..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Insightful

    for some freelancers to fill some bodybags.

    It is the only way to send them a timely message.

    1. Re:Perhaps it is rather time..... by interkin3tic · · Score: 4, Funny

      Good idea, I'll post a message to the facebook group for assassins for hire, and we'll... hmm... who could be at the door THIS early?

    2. Re:Perhaps it is rather time..... by NoOneInParticular · · Score: 1

      As the Boston bombing shows, the NSA is really not reading facebook. They're storing all this shit. but it's not used for any actual intelligence work. I can only speculate what it is used for, but chances are that's it's about money. So feel free to post on facebook, that's the last place they'll look.

    3. Re:Perhaps it is rather time..... by anyGould · · Score: 1

      As the Boston bombing shows, the NSA is really not reading facebook. They're storing all this shit. but it's not used for any actual intelligence work. I can only speculate what it is used for, but chances are that's it's about money. So feel free to post on facebook, that's the last place they'll look.

      More accurately, they're storing it so that once they decide you're the guilty one, they can easily backtrack through everything you've ever said or did to "prove" it. Six lines from an honest man, and all that.

  6. Who better you ask? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Directors, Chiefs and Managers. That's who. Most CEOs I've met are quite arrogant and controlling. That and the underlings don't want to cross them. The result is that they have complete access to everything.

  7. Don't be evil by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!

  8. Cool. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Will they let us know when they're breaking in? I've got a list of stuff I'm too lazy to fix. Maybe they can pitch in.

  9. Then I will hunt them first. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    (police show up at house)

    "Wait...what are you doing! I was just making a joke online...I didn't mean it...please!"

    (shot in face, staged as suicide)

    1. Re:Then I will hunt them first. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More like shot in the back of the head six times with a nail gun, investigators declare it to be a suicide.

  10. Stop it right now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We Europeans are very angry regarding the actions that NSA is performing. We do not want dickheads like these messing with the Internet, to which we are connected too.

    1. Re:Stop it right now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Then feel free to setup trade sanctions against the USA, Most people in the US don't like this but we can't change it due to the NSA having blackmail material on elected officials and all of us. Maybe they will listen to the corps if they start screaming loud enough.

    2. Re:Stop it right now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Then perhaps you should also show some anger towards GCHQ and/or your local equivilent instead of just the NSA? I know you guys like to believe that all problems are because of the US, but this is a global problem involving just about every government that matters.

    3. Re:Stop it right now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We Europeans are very angry regarding the actions that NSA is performing. We do not want dickheads like these messing with the Internet, to which we are connected too.

      I enjoy the european misery as it clearly displays how they have lost all hope of getting out of THEIR mess.

      Whereas the USA, has a slim hope by using all three proverbial boxes to get it done.

      Just today, the french, the fucking pussies, urged the Ukraine militias to disarm, after they just finished using those arms to get rid of their soviet-puppet government.

      Sucks to have 1.5 boxes available to use now dunnit? Consider that next time you start working on throwing more individual power away in favor of helping "the collective"

    4. Re: Stop it right now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Russia already started. Maybe more will join...

  11. Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by FirstOne · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Once you break into a admin's computer, with his credentials, it's a two way street.. One can plant evidence just as well as detect it..

    Now that this info is public knowledge, any accused should levy a defense that the NSA planted the evidence, since they have the ability and the court has no way of identifying planted information verses unapproved activity.

    Advice to NSA admins, I know it is a cushy job, but find another job NOT in the government, the NSA is on a witch-hunt it's only a matter of time before they turn innocent bystanders into criminals.

    1. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by boristdog · · Score: 2

      I had to point this out to our security dept several years back. They were scanning everyone's computer and user drive and building cases to fire people for anything they considered inappropriate. I told them that just because something is on someone's computer doesn't mean they put it there.

      They finally listened when I secretly buried an empty directory called "kiddie porn" on one of the security managers user profile. Root access is awesome. The witch hunts stopped soon after.

    2. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Holy shit! You mean there are people out there trying to break into computers???? When did this start happening?? Now that we know the NSA was trying it, the cat is out of the bag and I bet other people and groups only now will have the idea and will start to try it. Call City Hall! Something should be done about this! It is the loss of innocence! The safe world of the Internet as we've known it is now gone. JINX YOU NSA! JINX YOU!!!

    3. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Win the case and get disappeared.

      FTFY

    4. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by 228e2 · · Score: 1

      Cool Story Bro.

      So where do you work now???

      --
      Since when does being a Socialist mean 'someone who has a different opinion than me'?
    5. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by boristdog · · Score: 1

      Same place. Head of security is gone, however.

    6. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by Minwee · · Score: 1

      They finally listened when I secretly buried an empty directory called "kiddie porn" on one of the security managers user profile. Root access is awesome. The witch hunts stopped soon after.

      Which reminds me, how has your job hunt been going?

    7. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by drinkypoo · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Advice to NSA admins, I know it is a cushy job, but find another job NOT in the government, the NSA is on a witch-hunt it's only a matter of time before they turn innocent bystanders into criminals.

      Why would that help? A "former NSA admin" makes a convenient scapegoat. Come up with some employees who will strongly suggest that he was pushed out the door due to possible illegal activity and it's goat stew time

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    8. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by Khashishi · · Score: 1

      ...the court...

      Who said anything about a court being involved?

    9. Re:Once compromised, it's a two way street.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hahahaha, "innocent" NSA sysadmins. That's a good one.

  12. yawn. by nblender · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I read through it. What I got was some full of himself mid-level network aware weenie who managed to get a job at NSA and get access to a vast trove of captured packet data trying to impress people with his vast knowledge of intarwebs protocols... I bet the smart people at NSA who are reading his lunatic ravings are wondering "who hired this asshole?"

    1. Re:yawn. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's less about the value or quality of his advice and the idea that he suggested it in the first place and they probably thought that's not a half bad idea and went with it. We already know for a fact that they were planting fake employees inside major corporations to backdoor their systems. Their only barrier at that point is a very active and capable system administrator noticing something foul going on, so it makes sense they would attempt to steal his credentials.

      This makes me wonder about the legitimacy of the investigation against that Childs guy who wouldn't hand the passwords over to the state a while back. I wonder if the nsa pulled some strings or embedded employees to put the pressure on him to give up the passwords knowing that he wouldn't do it in order to get an investigation launched against him and put him in jail so they could have unfettered access to the network.

    2. Re:yawn. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We already know for a fact that they were planting fake employees inside major corporations to backdoor their systems.

      We do?? Is this a real fact, or a "someone posted it on a blog and everyone runs with it" fact?

  13. I spy my spy by denisbergeron · · Score: 1

    When a spy agency have to spy its own spy, it's not a spy agency anymore but a paranoiac employer.
    And it's also the end of any mccarthyism in the USA

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une Signature !
  14. Obligatory comment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Let me (us) ______________________ and I (we) care not who writes the laws.

    Let a well-informed imagination fill in the blank. In this case, "run the intelligence agencies" would be an appropriate choice.

  15. use POT (Personal Open Terminal) easy to see me(s) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    i just log on & there we are; me:>/// & me (nsa):>/// advanced to a fault

  16. Smert Shpionam! by davecb · · Score: 2

    The traditional fate of spies is death, so arrange to catch one and rendition him to Russia.

    --
    davecb@spamcop.net
    1. Re:Smert Shpionam! by dryeo · · Score: 1

      Only during war time. Traditionally during peace time their fate is often to be traded for the other sides spy.

      --
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_totalitarianism
    2. Re:Smert Shpionam! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We've been at war for the last 13 years now, so death is still very much appropriate.

    3. Re:Smert Shpionam! by davecb · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Only slightly tongue-in-cheek, I fear the US is in the middle of a civil war they haven't noticed yet...

      --
      davecb@spamcop.net
    4. Re: Smert Shpionam! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you just trying to give them raises?

    5. Re:Smert Shpionam! by Yew2 · · Score: 1

      Smient Spionum u mean?

      --
      will work for dragon quest localization
  17. I have to comment on this one by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Best. Idea. Ever.

  18. Turnabout is fair play, isn't it? by king+neckbeard · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If they are compromising sysadmins without due process, then a sysadmin like Snowden compromising them is just desserts.

    --
    This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
  19. Smartest guy in the room by Krazy+Kanuck · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Sadly the NSA isn't, and creating these back doors is just creating a honey pot for those who are. Stop compromising our networks in the name of "national security".

  20. The apologists will darken the skies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    As bad as such revelations are, what drives me nuts is all the apologists who crawl out of the woodwork every time one of these stories breaks. They have no end of justification for whatever the NSA or CIA does, anything from "I have nothing to hide" to "privacy is dead, stop bitching because the Good Guys are working t protect you".

    I predict the kind of practice in TFA is going to keep mushrooming until someone uses it as a political weapon and then gets caught. Only then will the jock-sniffing Congress do something substantive about this mess.

    If I were advising Hillary Clinton, I'd tell her to never touch another computer until her political career is over.

    1. Re:The apologists will darken the skies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But don't you understand? MOSLEMS ARE COMING TO KILL US! MOSLEMS ARE COMING TO KILL US! We have to do this to save you! Weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein, Al Qaeda!

      The mass hysteria the right has been feeding us is the excuse for anything goes. Torture, NSA going hog wild and more. This NSA crap is as much a symptom as a cause. The problem is our politicians haven't a clue how kill this monster, even if they wanted to, and I suspect many don't really care that much.

    2. Re:The apologists will darken the skies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      While privacy has always been an illusion and I don't have anything I should have to hide, the NSA and CIA really shouldn't exist.

      At least they shouldn't exist in anything resembling their current state. For one thing as a brach of the government their actions should be a matter of public record (which would fuck up most of what they do) as that's the only way they cab be held accountable. They should have to work within that constraint when securing the nation or collecting intelligence respectively.

    3. Re:The apologists will darken the skies by EnergyScholar · · Score: 1

      While some of the apologists you decry are probably real, it's a safe bet that most of them are sock puppets. There is a thriving market for 'media consulting firms' who take money to provide sock puppet services. I've personally identified quite a few working Slashdot. They already have 'full capture' of this service, and of most online social networks. They are most apt to turn up when someone posts a 'controversial' story, and otherwise try to keep a low profile.

  21. CFAA by neghvar1 · · Score: 2

    It would be nice if we could sick the CFAA on the NSA. Unofrtunately, they are immune from that law.

  22. oh, you think sigint is your ally. by nimbius · · Score: 5, Funny

    But you merely adopted the shell. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the GUI until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!
    The login prompts betray you, because they belong to me.

    so give it your best, young man. I and my greybeards are forged in this art. We know that behind your presentation, your boldface scrawlings and your bemused predatory preamble that we have coffee ringed RFC's that have seen more fervent attempts than yours. Save yourself some grief and maybe curry our favour. target our PHB instead.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
  23. Would make a great movie... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Isn't this just about how every future based movies starts out where government gets too big and powerful while infringing on the people's basic rights until finally a band of rebels decided enough is enough and had the guts to stand up and say we are going to take this BS anymore.

  24. My take on it. by Noryungi · · Score: 3, Informative

    If you are a sysadmin, and you have a Facebook page, LinkedIn account, social-media-whatever thingmagajig or Slashdot account, the NSA may well come after you.

    Remember: this is written in plain sight and the NSA created fake Slashdot account to get into Belgacom.

    I am a sysadmin. I have a Slashdot account. Maybe it is time for me to say so long, and thanks for all the fish. What Beta was not able to do, the NSA did.

    --
    The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
    1. Re:My take on it. by Nyder · · Score: 2

      If you are a sysadmin, and you have a Facebook page, LinkedIn account, social-media-whatever thingmagajig or Slashdot account, the NSA may well come after you.

      Remember: this is written in plain sight and the NSA created fake Slashdot account to get into Belgacom.

      I am a sysadmin. I have a Slashdot account. Maybe it is time for me to say so long, and thanks for all the fish. What Beta was not able to do, the NSA did.

      Ya, and admitting your a sysadmin probably doesn't help either.

      --
      Be seeing you...
    2. Re:My take on it. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who do you think developed Slashdot beta and why do you think a community based website would insist on an "upgrade" that the vast majority of their users told them they did not like or want? Don't blame the Slashdot admins though, they are not legally allowed to refuse.

    3. Re:My take on it. by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      Security through obscurity!

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
  25. Agreed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's like they're saying "we can cure cancer but give you AIDS instead".. wtf?

  26. I think we are asking the wrong question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's obvious that the NSA is using well people just like us that have a belief that the rules do not apply to them and are getting feedback from the people they work for at the NSA, that they are in fact right and the rules do not apply to them. this should cause you to bristle, cause while it is very sad that 9/11 occurred but I personally dont put my personal safety above my liberty. I value it more and it was a tenant of the founding of country. the ends do not justify the means. Perhaps the question we should ask those in charge is, where is the line that you wont cross? rather than why do you keep stepping over the lines in the sand we the people draw?

  27. If you are reading this on /. by Dharkfiber · · Score: 1

    It has already happened.

  28. I think this is FUD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A good systems engineer will be aware.

    It's always good to have a Honeypot configured.

    I monitor all attempted connections. You should make use of /etc/hosts.allow and /etc/hosts.deny
    Monitor all activity.

    My personal home network I launch attacks against ip addresses that attempt to log into my services running on my system.

  29. I love the irony of this... by bwcbwc · · Score: 3, Insightful

    While NSA was hunting sysadmins, they were being pwned by...a sysadmin!

    Yet another example of how NSA is too focused on offensive network capabilities (breaking into target systems) and doesn't pay enough attention to defense (strong crypto, open security models, etc.)

    --
    We are the 198 proof..
  30. LinkedIn... by Larry_Dillon · · Score: 1

    So they're basically running through LinkedIn and targeting anyone who says they're a SysAdmin, a VP, or anyone else who looks like they might have elevated privileges?

    --
    Competition Good, Monopoly Bad.
    1. Re:LinkedIn... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I am sure Mr Zuckobug will be pleased by these tactics.

  31. NSA to Sysadmins ... by PPH · · Score: 1

    Do our bidding or we'll out your posts on /mlp/.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  32. Can You Say FAKE ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    So some guy figured knocking up a document in "NSA style" makes it look authentic ?

    Yeah, REL/FVEY/USEY/TS

    I do think NSA and GCHQ perform massive hacks, but this particular document most probably is a fake.

    Schönes Wochenende noch. Auch den Spannern von der NSA. Streichelt Eure Gänse.

  33. Really Stupid NSA... by Lumpy · · Score: 2

    Wow they are amateurs now.

    Dear NSA, want to do your job right? then start watching top networking companies for job openings and have your Networking expert agents apply for the jobs there. Nothing better than having your agent working on the inside.

    a "hit list" is stupid, you waste a LOT of time having to deal with them, but if Agent Davis is a network admin at VERIZON or AT&T then you make a single phone call to own the network.

    This tip is free, otherwise I am $4500 an hour minimum of 10 hour charge for any more consulting, als you pay all travel costs and I only fly private or military jet. F16 trainer preferred.

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    1. Re:Really Stupid NSA... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I only fly private or military jet. F16 trainer preferred.

      It's a little known fact that all real SysAdmins travel by private rail car. Your cover is blown.

    2. Re:Really Stupid NSA... by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      Hush Comrade, they have no idea that we have infiltrated their systems.
      Note to self: stop using the word Comrade, it seems to draw strange looks from NSA types.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    3. Re:Really Stupid NSA... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've worked at several ISPs, and have had employees in NOCs and elsewhere admit they worked for the NSA. "You never really leave the agency" one said, "they always want favors, and you can't tell them no with impunity." So if someone has worked for the agency, you can pretty much count on them being a walking security hole waiting for that phone call or email telling them to break your security.

  34. damnit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    stop reading my Brain.

  35. cisco password 7 wateringhole by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do people really use the cisco password7 decrypting web sites? What's to stop the operator from using the logs to ip and getting back at you?

  36. NSA PWNAGE, Srsly?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    From the article:
    "any time you wanted to target a new network, you could find the admin associated with it, queue his acounts up for QUANTUM, get access to his box and proceed to pwn the network."

            It seems the author has finally achieved his dream of being a "supar-1337-haxxor".. is this really the internal language they use inside the NSA? I had imagine there was atleast some modicum of professionalism; we'd probably be a whole lot safer is Captian Crunch and the 2600 crew were running the show. And what is it our elite "friend" is searching for with his unwarranted teenage style (QUANTUM based) script kiddy tactics, item five on the list is:

    "*pictures of cats in funny poses with amusing captions."

    M'kay.. they can leave my funny pictures of cats well enough alone, please and thank you.

    1. Re:NSA PWNAGE, Srsly?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      From the article:
      "any time you wanted to target a new network, you could find the admin associated with it, queue his acounts up for QUANTUM, get access to his box and proceed to pwn the network."

              It seems the author has finally achieved his dream of being a "supar-1337-haxxor".. is this really the internal language they use inside the NSA? I had imagine there was atleast some modicum of professionalism; we'd probably be a whole lot safer is Captian Crunch and the 2600 crew were running the show. And what is it our elite "friend" is searching for with his unwarranted teenage style (QUANTUM based) script kiddy tactics, item five on the list is:

      "*pictures of cats in funny poses with amusing captions."

      M'kay.. they can leave my funny pictures of cats well enough alone, please and thank you.

      What did you expect, I'll give you an example for reference of a typical NSA employee: Homer Simpson

  37. I hope the list itself is leaked by ShaunC · · Score: 1

    So many attempted lawsuits against the USG over various spying revelations have been refused because the complainant has no "standing," i.e. legal proof that they have been damaged. I imagine that if the list of targets were to leak, that would give those individuals valid standing to sue. As someone who was the DBA at a US$6-7B/yr corporation for more than 7 years I sort of suspect my name is on their list. I will say one thing, there's no fucking way any NSA ratware got into systems under my control using me as a conduit.

    --
    Thanks to the War on Drugs, it's easier to buy meth than it is to buy cold medicine!
  38. That already is the reality. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I thought that's pretty much what Anon is. A bunch of guys from various intel agencies, with a few script kiddies going along for the ride. Wasn't it a FBI computer that Lulzsec used to stage their biggest leaks?

  39. The last time Lumpy was heard from by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He had duct tape over his mouth and eyes and was being loaded into the back of a C-17 like a sack of potatoes. The waterboarding had done the trick and he had signed a blank confession. That, of course, was just a CYA. He had already spilled the beans on everything and everyone. In fact his statements implicated people that could not possibly be involved, so in the end his information must be considered suspect.

    Sent to the Island. A bad job all around but there must be no loose ends.

  40. Where is the NSA recruiting? by allo · · Score: 1

    > are ROFL-easy [...] And pointing out for the lulz [...]

  41. bottom line by allo · · Score: 1

    - seperate normal surfing from your admin job
    - encrypt everything
    - consider to bounce connections via another server. Bonus if the final connection is via an intranet
    - consider using a vpn-service, which routes many people over one ip
    - avoid facebook and webmail (are they talking about specific webmails?)

    for the selector stuff: install a cookie-killer like self-destructing-cookies (firefox) or tab-cookies (chromium).

  42. It's a criminal activity when anybody else by ToddInSF · · Score: 1

    does it; but when the government and it's many contractors do it, it's A-OK.

  43. Suspicion by PPH · · Score: 1

    So now you, the company CIO, go back to work and wonder if your sysadmins might inadvertently infect your servers with a trojan. Or worse, they have already been turned by the NSA. So screw this running your own infrastructure in-house. Pull the plug and put everything in The Cloud. Where they promise you security. Its possible that this document was leaked purposefully, to sew some doubts into decision makers minds with regard to their in-house admins.

    In reality, The Cloud makes things easier to crack. A couple of big targets rather than thousands of little ones.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  44. Complicit Media by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Most of the news articles I'm reading talk only about NSA "plans" to surveil admins and burglarize their nets. If an article goes further, it talks only about NSA's activities in the past tense.

    Calm down, Mr. Public. Nothing to see here. Go about your business.