The 69 Words GM Employees Can Never Say

bizwriter (1064470) writes "General Motors put together its take on a George Carlin list of words you can't say. Engineering employees were shown 69 words and phrases that were not to be used in emails, presentations, or memos. They include: defect, defective, safety, safety related, dangerous, bad, and critical. You know, words that the average person, in the context of the millions of cars that GM has recalled, might understand as indicative of underlying problems at the company. Oh, terribly sorry, 'problem' was on the list as well."

Comments

Corporate speak

[just_another_sean]

Of course they don't need to use any of those words. Everyone knows GM vehicles are doubleplusgood!

Re:Corporate speak

[rogoshen1]

groupthink.. irony intensifies :(

Re:Corporate speak

[Darinbob]

As a GM employee, I take ___ at the idea that we're all ___ over here. In reality we ___ very hard to make the ___ possible ___ for the American ___. Many of our ___ have spent ___ developing the ___ automobiles in the ___. To ___ the hard working ___ of __ is an ___ to the ___ workers here. But no, the ___ at Slashdot think it's ___ to laugh at the ___ even though they ___ in the same situation. Ever since being taken over by the ___ at the US government during the ___ out we have been held ____ to the highest ___ of excellence by our ___ overlords in ___ DC. No matter what automobile you own, whether it be ___, ___, ___, or even a fine ___, you should be proud of the ___ at ___.

The person who made the ppt was immediately fired

[barlevg]

For using all 69 words. No exceptions, right?

words

[serviscope_minor]

I like how the article explains to us the meaning behind the words Hindenburg and Titanic.

You know just in case we couldn't picture an engineer likening the powder keg of a rolling sarcophagus spontansously combusting in an apocalyptic grenadelike explosion, mangling and impaling the hapless ocupants like Curt Cobain flying the Challenger into the Hindenburg.

On the plus side you could use the result to cook you're toast at the end of it all.

Re:Note to myself:

[ColdWetDog]

Be careful about over-wide proscriptions - walking is good for you, but a bit limiting.

So how to report an actual problem?

[Immerman]

Rejoice! The fuel tank exhibits a delightful ability to consistently emit large cheerful conflations of thermal exuberance in response to mild percussive excitation. We recommend modifying the roof-rack to double as a full-length barbeque grill to maximize the occupants appreciation of this fortuitous feature.

Re:So how to report an actual problem?

[Opportunist]

And no "cloud" either, so he ain't no consultant material.

Re:So how to report an actual problem?

[Anonymous Coward]

I can just imagine this going down well in court:

Hi Bob,

I'm just reading the report on the defect related to the safety of the
air bags and engines. I've reviewed the international safety related
specifications and my conclusion is that as things stand, this issue is bad
if not dangerous. I'd rate the priority as critical.

With regard to the design of engine block, if this component is used in the
final product sold to customers, the outcome could be apocalyptic for
public relations and catastrophic for the stock price. We are likely to see
grenadelike vehicles traveling across the frewways and undergo
spontaneous combustion like the Hindenburg. Even worse, with the failure
of the acceleration control system, vehicles travelling over freeway
overpasses are likely to fly off the road explode in mid-air like the
Challenger, impaling and mangling everyone with the resulting shrapnel.
Vehicles in coastal areas with high salt erosion are likely to
fly off road and sink underwater never to be seen again much like the Titanic.

On the subject of the air bag, this fault is a powder keg. Tests have
shown that incorrectly pressurized gas cylinders are capable of
decapitating drivers in seconds, while the resulting fumes generated as the
airbag deflates are capable of asphyxiating everyone in the passenger
compartment in the most evil Kevorkianesque way possible.

The last thing we want is for our customers to refer to our product as
The Widow-maker, a rolling sarcophagus, or a Ford Cobain. If you don't
fix these issues you're toast!

Last Week Tonight: GM Ad

[Anonymous Coward]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6IZ2TroruU

Re:The person who made the ppt was immediately fir

[NonUniqueNickname]

Someone complained and HR agreed that he intentionally stopped short of making the list an even 70. Fired for sexual harassment.

Re:Note to myself:

[K. S. Kyosuke]

Witness how the GM list doesn't actually subsume George Carlin's list, i.e., while a GM engineer isn't allowed to write "our cars are dangerous", he can opt for "our cars are shit" instead.

Re:The person who made the ppt was immediately fir

[Anubis IV]

I remember this one odd incident from my college days. I and my roommate--who DJed for the college radio station and from whom I had picked up some random trivia about the business--had a friend over to hang out. We were shooting the breeze, and at some point my roommate excused himself to use the restroom. The friend and I kept chatting for a bit, until we found ourselves wondering just what exactly was going on in the bathroom, since we could hear my roommate laughing like crazy while presumably still occupied with relieving himself.

As it turns out, he was laughing because in all the years he had known me, he had never once heard me cuss, and yet, while in the restroom, the one thing he could hear from the conversation was me releasing a string of profanities as if I was a seasoned sailor. What he didn't know was that I never really had any problem with using expletives in a purely referential manner, and that our friend had asked if I happened to know the list of words that were banned on the radio.

Which is to say, no exceptions. ;)