The FBI's Jargon List: Internet Acronyms Galore

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

The FBI's Jargon List: Internet Acronyms Galore

Posted by timothy on Tuesday June 17, 2014 @04:01AM from the summer-internship dept.

Jason Koebler (3528235) writes Internet slang: Do you use it? If so, do it AYOR (at your own risk), because the FBI knows exactly what you're saying thanks to the agency's insane list of "Twitter shorthand." Rather than just rely on Urban Dictionary or a Google search, the agency has compiled an 83 page list of more than 2,800 acronyms. The FBI responded to a FOIA request with one of the most illegible scans of a document you'll ever see, embedded on a CD — so maybe the agency isn't all that up on its technology, or maybe it's just doing its best to KTAS (keep this a secret). Please use one of your favorites in a grammatical sentence referencing current events, and/or your favorite food, to help build up the corpus.

124 comments

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

BFF by skgrey · 2014-06-17 04:06 · Score: 4, Funny

According to the list, one of the translations of BFF is Big Fat Friend. Stephen Lynch would be proud.
1. Re:BFF by MRe_nl · 2014-06-17 07:54 · Score: 2
  
  But they seem to have missed CYA's secondary usage for Cake,Yellow, Atomic.
  
  --
  "Kill 'em all and let Root sort 'em out"
2. Re:BFF by frisket · 2014-06-17 12:17 · Score: 1
  
  And please feel free to add any useful ones to our Acronym Database.
lol by OrugTor · 2014-06-17 04:06 · Score: 1

f!
AYBABTU by DrPeper · 2014-06-17 04:09 · Score: 1

So basically the FBI is saying AYBABTU (All Your Base Are Belong To Us)?
1. Re:AYBABTU by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:28 · Score: 0
  
  yah.. guess we are gonners?
2. Re:AYBABTU by Z00L00K · 2014-06-17 05:26 · Score: 1
  
  Which now caused me to get a 10-100.
  
  --
  If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
Urban Dictionary by barlevg · 2014-06-17 04:09 · Score: 1

is my go-to source for internet shorthand. Any reason the FBI's too good to just use that?
1. Re:Urban Dictionary by NotQuiteReal · 2014-06-17 04:11 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  They are not allowed to use the Internet. It is not secure.
  
  --
  This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
2. Re:Urban Dictionary by rubycodez · 2014-06-17 04:13 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  the Urban Dictionary says FBI can mean "Fucking Bunch of Idiots"
3. Re:Urban Dictionary by AthanasiusKircher · 2014-06-17 04:16 · Score: 2
  
  is my go-to source for internet shorthand. Any reason the FBI's too good to just use that?
  Urban dictionary is edited by volunteers, and there are no real guidelines for entries. So, I suppose it could infiltrated by terrorists, who pose as submitters and editors to hide the true meaning of some internet abbreviations they are using to communicate about their next attack...??
  (I'm being sarcastic here, but unfortunately knowing the U.S. government and current paranoia levels, this probably isn't far from their logic.)
4. Re:Urban Dictionary by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:20 · Score: 0
  
  They probably did use Urban Dictionary, but wanted to compile everything they found in a central, easily referenced place.
5. Re:Urban Dictionary by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:20 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  One reason is for long-term retention of data. They might store case files for 20+ years before someone sees them again, at which point the detective working the case might not know what all of the acronyms mean. I mean, it was one thing for the 70s to use words like groovy or tubular in common vernacular, but today's kids are using acronyms up the wazoo. It's only natural that some with become popular and just as quickly fade into obscurity.
  However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway. I mean, we would hope a detective wouldn't be standing there exclaiming "What the fuck does WTF mean!?" but that too is entirely possible if WTF goes away in a few years. But there are certainly more obscure acronyms and slang being used on the internet.
  That said, their *source* for these kinds of definitions should be places like urban dictionary(especially urban dictionary!), because their entire purpose is to define commonly used terms you won't find in a standard dictionary.
6. Re:Urban Dictionary by Culture20 · 2014-06-17 04:53 · Score: 2
  
  One reason is for long-term retention of data. They might store case files for 20+ years before someone sees them again, at which point the detective working the case might not know what all of the acronyms mean. I mean, it was one thing for the 70s to use words like groovy or tubular in common vernacular, but today's kids are using acronyms up the wazoo. It's only natural that some with become popular and just as quickly fade into obscurity.
  Reading old comics from the 60's, I caught on to most of the lingo slinging, but the word "Natch" confused me until just last year when I realized it was short for "naturally". And "hip" young characters like Johnny Storm or Spider-Man used to say "natch" a lot.
7. Re:Urban Dictionary by cdrudge · 2014-06-17 05:02 · Score: 1
  
  Even with a dictionary meanings can change over decades of time. "I'm having a gay time smoking a fag" means something entirely different now then what it did 4 or 5 decades ago.
8. Re:Urban Dictionary by mythosaz · 2014-06-17 05:27 · Score: 1
  
  However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway.
  Now it's just a question if Moot is in there.
9. Re:Urban Dictionary by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:37 · Score: 0
  
  Nope. Words can have multiple meanings, and while most people would interpret that sentence in a certain way, the old meanings do not become 'incorrect.'
10. Re:Urban Dictionary by weszz · 2014-06-17 05:43 · Score: 1
  
  you may be surprised... I found FML reading Sammy the Seal to my kids.
  Printed back in the 60s, the page is that Sammy wishes he could spell, and has the blocks XFML in front of him. I thought it was incredibly funny, but couldn't tell my girls why... (too young for that kinda stuff)
11. Re:Urban Dictionary by drakaan · 2014-06-17 06:12 · Score: 1
  
  Not for nothin', but 4 or 5 decades ago was the 60's or 70's...9 or 10 decades ago, maybe?
  
  --
  "Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
12. Re:Urban Dictionary by NotSanguine · 2014-06-17 06:13 · Score: 1
  
  >
  However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway. I mean, we would hope a detective wouldn't be standing there exclaiming "What the fuck does WTF mean!?" but that too is entirely possible if WTF goes away in a few years.
  An interesting point. I was having a conversation with a neighbor yesterday about how, when I was younger, the acronym 'FTW' emphatically did not mean "For The Win." Rather it meant either "Fight The Whites" or "Fuck The World." So it seems that not only can these acronyms fade away, they can be used to give contradictory meanings as well.
  Also, I was interested to note that It's no longer VD (Venereal Disease) or even STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease), but DRD (Dennis Rodman Disease). I'm sure Dennis really appreciates that.
  
  --
  No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
13. Re:Urban Dictionary by JTsyo · 2014-06-17 06:16 · Score: 1
  
  What did smoking use to mean?
14. Re:Urban Dictionary by dowens81625 · 2014-06-17 08:27 · Score: 1
  
  BFAE
  Best Fucking Acronym Ever
15. Re:Urban Dictionary by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 09:42 · Score: 0
  
  They probably did use Urban Dictionary, but wanted to compile everything they found in a central, easily referenced place.
  I am shocked there are only 2 800 shorthand entries considering the widespread use of social media. Maybe the FBI provided a single volume from their encyclopaedic set.
16. Re:Urban Dictionary by kwbauer · 2014-06-17 14:44 · Score: 1
  
  It has been used to mean kill or seriously injure or defeat in a big way.
17. Re:Urban Dictionary by rtb61 · 2014-06-17 18:37 · Score: 1
  
  Well that in and unto itself is arbitrary, as internet shorthand is group or association specific, so terrorist speak, will be differnet to teenage girl talk.
  A more clear example LOL
  Laugh Out Loud
  reÃr en voz alta
  laut lachen
  mort de rire
  ridete alta voce
  Clearly makes no sense in other languages.
  Just as a large exhaustive list makes no sense as many association, social group or language specifc and only a very few, will spread wider, LOL might well be one that does spread wider but then again we do not all even share the same text. This kind of thinking leads to abusive arrests http://www.theregister.co.uk/2... and the douchebads will never admit fault for fear of civil suit, just a big ole fuck you to justice and the victim.
  
  --
  Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
18. Re:Urban Dictionary by PhilHibbs · 2014-06-17 20:36 · Score: 1
  
  In the context of "smoking a fag", if you take "fag" to mean "homosexual person", then "smoking" might mean "setting fire to" or "shooting". As in, "let's go smoke some gooks", as you might hear in a Vietnam movie.
They come by it naturally.... by ColdWetDog · 2014-06-17 04:11 · Score: 2

I grew up with this this list. It used to be on paper. That was kinda funny.
I'm sure every TLA or FLA in the US has a similar LOA.

--
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
1. Re:They come by it naturally.... by sconeu · 2014-06-17 05:29 · Score: 1
  
  That list is missing "TLA".
  
  --
  General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
2. Re:They come by it naturally.... by hubie · 2014-06-17 05:49 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  It's part of Gödel's incompleteness theorem: for any list of acronyms, there will always be acronyms that are true, but that are unlisted wthin the list.
3. Re:They come by it naturally.... by spikedvodka · 2014-06-17 07:41 · Score: 1
  
  Don't forget my favorite... the ETLA (Extended TLA)
  
  --
  I will not give in to the terrorists. I will not become fearful.
4. Re:They come by it naturally.... by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 07:44 · Score: 0
  
  The best part? There really is a secret agency known as the TLA.
5. Re:They come by it naturally.... by sconeu · 2014-06-17 08:26 · Score: 1
  
  Welll played, hubie. Well played indeed.
  
  --
  General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
Not from the FBI by mrex · 2014-06-17 04:11 · Score: 1

The document says it's something to help you "keep tabs on their children and grandchildren". Something tells me that this isn't actually used by the FBI.
1. Re:Not from the FBI by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:16 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  'children' is a shorthand for US Citizens.
2. Re:Not from the FBI by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:28 · Score: 0
  
  Maybe not this exact list, but I'm sure the FBI has something similar somewhere in its storage. It'll be useful 20 years from now when no one knows what all these damn acronyms and vulgar slang terms mean.
  At the very least, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a script that scraped urban dictionary and acronym aggregation sites periodically and simply stores the raw text and then compresses it. The amount of data in that kind of storage would be minimal and would only need to be gathered about once a year.
Different rules I see by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:12 · Score: 1

"The FBI responded to a FOIA request with one of the most illegible scans of a document you'll ever see" is A-OK, but when Lavabit used a very small font they got sanctioned
TL;DR by dragon-file · 2014-06-17 04:17 · Score: 3, Informative

IMHO the article was TL;DR and IANAL so TINLA but OMFG. AFAIK the FBI CRAT. Hence they made a BFDB so they could tell their employees to RTFM.

--
Whenever a player quits EVE to go play WoW, the Average IQ of both games increase.
1. Re:TL;DR by Megane · 2014-06-17 04:54 · Score: 1
  
  Or maybe YHBT. HAND. HTH.
  
  --
  #naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
2. Re:TL;DR by s.petry · 2014-06-17 05:03 · Score: 1
  
  The shitty scan would prevent you from reading most of it anyway, which is bizarre in itself. Did the FBI give them a CD full of shitty scan data with poor resolution images so it can't scale? Trying to download the content I hit a auth wall requiring a ScribeD account.. I could probably find a different method of access, but it's not worth the effort for something trivial like this.
  Personally outside of the fact that the FBI actually answered a FOIA request I don't see this as "News" and especially not "News worthy". If they would have answered a question about the government harassment of Senator Jon DeCamp I'd be impressed.
  
  --
  -The wise argue that there are few absolutes, the fool argues that there are no probabilities.
3. Re:TL;DR by cyberchondriac · 2014-06-17 05:06 · Score: 1
  
  you lost me on BFDB.. Big F'n Deal B ...? I got the rest.
  
  --
  
  Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up. I'm a signature.
4. Re:TL;DR by dragon-file · 2014-06-17 05:30 · Score: 1
  
  BFDB = Big fucking database.
  
  --
  Whenever a player quits EVE to go play WoW, the Average IQ of both games increase.
5. Re:TL;DR by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:32 · Score: 0
  
  I'm going with Big F'n Database
6. Re:TL;DR by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:32 · Score: 0
  
  Big fucking database. CRAT = ??? "can ride a train"?
7. Re:TL;DR by cyberchondriac · 2014-06-17 05:44 · Score: 1
  
  Can't Remember A Thing, I believe
  
  --
  
  Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up. I'm a signature.
8. Re:TL;DR by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:59 · Score: 0
  
  You get a shitty scan because when the request comes in, someone gets stuck with scanning an 83 page paper. That job goes to the lowly student intern. My guess is the scan quality of the first pages are probably much better than the last pages because it is a boring, tedious, and thankless job to get stuck with.
  I don't know why you're suprised that they answered a FOIA request. All the big agencies have offices set up specifically for this purpose. They have to respond to the requests (you might get your request denied, but someone still had to look into it).
9. Re:TL;DR by dragon-file · 2014-06-17 07:30 · Score: 1
  
  Spot on
  
  --
  Whenever a player quits EVE to go play WoW, the Average IQ of both games increase.
10. Re:TL;DR by TheCarp · 2014-06-17 08:11 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  > You get a shitty scan because when the request comes in, someone gets stuck with scanning an 83 page paper.
  A paper which, if you look really close, says on it the words "this sharepoint"..... so they actually had to produce an 83 page paper before scanning it.... rather than using the "print to a file" function which, would produce an easily legible document.
  Nope....this excuse doesn't even hold a little bit of water.
  
  --
  "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
11. Re:TL;DR by plover · 2014-06-17 11:26 · Score: 1
  
  That's a common ailment, known around here as 'CRS Syndrome'. As in Can't Remember Shit.
  
  --
  John
12. Re:TL;DR by PhilHibbs · 2014-06-17 20:41 · Score: 1
  
  Scroll down to TTYM.
13. Re:TL;DR by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-18 09:04 · Score: 0
  
  Your optimism about the document handling practices of large organizations (Private, govt, or otherwise) is as cute as it is naive.
  I WISH creating a word doc, putting it in share point, printing it, copying it, then scanning it badly in to a "paperless" document handling system, then later exporing it back out as a PDF was the worst offense you'd see.
  It's not. It's not by a long shot. This is actually relatively clean.
  I've seen some shit.
  Shit that would make you weep for humanity. (And all the trees and man-hours wasted)
FU FBI by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:20 · Score: 0

YSD
Hey FBI..you can by rullywowr · 2014-06-17 04:20 · Score: 1

GFY
1. Re:Hey FBI..you can by Orestesx · 2014-06-17 06:10 · Score: 1
  
  What's funny is that GFY in the document is actually defined as "Good for you."
2. Re:Hey FBI..you can by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 07:01 · Score: 0
  
  DIAF
The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW by cellocgw · 2014-06-17 04:20 · Score: 1

Let them try to figure those abbreviations out!
(and yes, for you OCD-ers I made them up out of nothing).
BTW, Does anyone use TTFN any more? that one far predates things like internets and even chatrooms.

--
https://app.box.com/WitthoftResume Code: https://github.com/cellocgw
1. Re:The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:24 · Score: 0
  
  Yep! TTFN
2. Re:The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW by sconeu · 2014-06-17 05:35 · Score: 1
  
  Only when I'm bouncing around somewhere....
  
  --
  General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
FBI = STASI. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:25 · Score: 0

The FBI is not your friend.
The FBI is the tool government and big business uses to make sure it remains
in power.
I had a good friend who was an FBI agent for a few decades. He told me that most
crimes are solved by the FBI due to someone snitching. He also told me that the FBI
was behind the assassination of Martin Luther King. I believe both the preceding claims
are true. Like I said, the FBI is not your friend.
.
1. Re:FBI = STASI. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:31 · Score: 0
  
  Cool story, bro.
2. Re:FBI = STASI. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:53 · Score: 0
  
  He also told me that the FBI
  was behind the assassination of Martin Luther King.
  [Citation Needed]
3. Re:FBI = STASI. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 06:15 · Score: 0
  
  Yet, you call this man a good friend, even though he supported an agency that you compare to the STASI?
  I became friends with the guy _after_ he had left the feebs for good.
  People can do bad things until they see the light and then they can change
  their ways and act like a decent human being from that time on. This is what
  happened with my buddy and why we became friends.
  No man is purely good or purely evil. We are all a mix of good and bad. Yes,
  my friend once worked for an agency I know to be evil, but his past mistakes
  do not define him for the rest of his life. A man should be judged by how he behaves
  in the present, not how he behaved many years earlier before he reached a higher level
  of wisdom.
  .
4. Re:FBI = STASI. by TheCarp · 2014-06-17 08:18 · Score: 1
  
  > People can do bad things until they see the light and then they can change
  >their ways and act like a decent human being from that time on. This is what
  > happened with my buddy and why we became friends.
  This is true, I met a guy at a party who told me how he used to be a cop, and stopped because he realized how wrong it was "When I realized I lost count of the number of times I ruined someone's life for something I personally have done many times over, I couldn't do it anymore" is what he told me.
  
  --
  "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
5. Re:FBI = STASI. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 08:33 · Score: 0
  
  Even Hitler?
Real language is becoming PERL. by DrPeper · 2014-06-17 04:37 · Score: 2

Ever notice (with all the acronyms) how much language is looking more and more like PERL?
1. Re:Real language is becoming PERL. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:42 · Score: 2
  
  Depends on what you consider real language.
Most illegible document? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:38 · Score: 0

Almost as bad as the 9/11 report.
PG-13 by CanHasDIY · 2014-06-17 04:39 · Score: 4, Informative

Ha, it's not even a complete list, everything is "matured-down" to kiddy levels!
For example, I was looking to see if DILLIGAF (Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck), but instead found DILLIGAD (Do I look like I give a darn).
Yea, it really says, "darn."
WTFIWWYM (What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Morons)?

--
An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
1. Re:PG-13 by Ozrius · 2014-06-17 04:54 · Score: 1
  
  Is JEOMK even on the list?
2. Re:PG-13 by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:58 · Score: 0
  
  Well, WYSIWYG. If there isn't a DILLIGAF entry, then they are boned.
3. Re:PG-13 by Cro+Magnon · 2014-06-17 06:15 · Score: 1
  
  Well, once I was thinking "WTF", but decided that wouldn't go over well with my audience (GF and her underage niece), so said "WTH" instead. Though I'm pretty sure the niece knew what I really meant.
  
  --
  Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
4. Re:PG-13 by Trepidity · 2014-06-17 09:21 · Score: 1
  
  WTFIWWYM (What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Morons)?
  ACAB
  
  --
  10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
5. Re:PG-13 by david_thornley · 2014-06-18 06:09 · Score: 1
  
  One of my favorite all-time April Fool's websites was when The Daily WTF changed to The Daily WTH (the H of course being Heck). They said they were looking for a softer, more family-friendly image. It took me aback for a few seconds before I remembered the date.
  
  --
  "When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
Ya, well.. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:39 · Score: 0

AJGOENPOJSPONANWROP!
1. Re:Ya, well.. by Z00L00K · 2014-06-17 05:33 · Score: 1
  
  Now - where did I put my Enigma.
  I just have to figure out which wheels and start code though.
  
  --
  If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
2. Re:Ya, well.. by Opportunist · 2014-06-17 06:08 · Score: 1
  
  WHAT?
  My mother was a saint!
  
  --
  We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Acronyms? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:42 · Score: 0

How did the FBI get my list of recently used passwords??
HOH! by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:43 · Score: 0

HOH = Hi / Oi / Hola.. I'm trying to make it catchy on multiplayer games... but ain't happened... :....(
Hah! I speak a secret language! by stevegee58 · 2014-06-17 04:49 · Score: 4, Funny

They'll never catch me then. I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.
1. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by sexconker · 2014-06-17 05:36 · Score: 1
  
  They'll never catch me then.
  When will they never catch you? Are you referring to a period of time which you experience repeatedly, such that "they" will never catch you during that time? Are you traveling back to 1987 and committing crimes? Are you referring to your toilet in a hardened bunker and the fact that they'll never catch you when you're defecating? Or did you mean to type "They'll never catch me, then."?
  
  I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.
  Ignoring the jokes about it being a secret language (your post renders it a formerly-secret language) and no one understanding it (clearly a few do, though you do not), you committed a few errors in that sentence as well. You should have typed "I speak a secret language called "Syntactically-Correct American English", an archaic language which no one understands any longer.".
  I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that everything in this post is syntactically correct, and that the language itself is not unambiguous.
2. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by NotSanguine · 2014-06-17 06:21 · Score: 1
  
  They'll never catch me then. I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.[Emphasis Added]
  Are you referring to this guy?
  
  --
  No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
3. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by dnavid · 2014-06-17 09:39 · Score: 1
  
  They'll never catch me then.
  When will they never catch you? Are you referring to a period of time which you experience repeatedly, such that "they" will never catch you during that time? Are you traveling back to 1987 and committing crimes? Are you referring to your toilet in a hardened bunker and the fact that they'll never catch you when you're defecating? Or did you mean to type "They'll never catch me, then."?
  
  I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.
  Ignoring the jokes about it being a secret language (your post renders it a formerly-secret language) and no one understanding it (clearly a few do, though you do not), you committed a few errors in that sentence as well. You should have typed "I speak a secret language called "Syntactically-Correct American English", an archaic language which no one understands any longer.".
  I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that everything in this post is syntactically correct, and that the language itself is not unambiguous.
  Actually, no it is not.
  Syntactically correct American English places the comma inside the quote, and single quotes within double quotes: "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language which no one understands any longer." British English places the comma outside the quote. Furthermore, the double period is incorrect in either version of English as is the use of double quotes within double quotes.
  Second, semantically speaking its more proper to use "that" over "which" since the word references an syntactic object intended to be distinguished from other similar items: "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language that no one understands any longer."
  Third, its worth noting that "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language that no one understands any longer" is written English, not spoken English, and therefore when the original sentence I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more is spoken, its essentially indistinguishable from syntactically correct American English.
  There are few things goofier than grammatically incorrect grammar police.
4. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by sexconker · 2014-06-17 11:27 · Score: 1
  
  You're wrong. You're following various "style guides". They are not authorities on the language, nor do their recommendations improve it in any objective way. Moving punctuation to the inside of a quotation is absurd - quotations are exact references and altering them defeats their entire purpose. Alternating between single and double quotation marks is altering the quotation, so it should not be done. It also does nothing to remove ambiguity, it just buries it one level deeper (or makes it worse in some cases). Not only can there be multiple levels of quotation, rendering your tactic pointless, the quotation itself can contain those symbols, causing your tactic to be harmful. Additionally, in most text the single quotation mark is visually similar, or even identical, to the apostrophe. If you actually want to remove ambiguity you have to use an escape character. English does not specify an escape character. When spoken, it becomes unwieldy after "he said she said" or the speaker's attempt to change introduce a third level of inflection to indicate different levels of quotation.
  You're wrong about "that" versus "which". The word "which" is used when referring to a specific member of an established set. The word "that" would refer to the set. The language is a member of the set of archaic languages. The sentence "There are balls in the large boxes that have rough edges which are green." unambiguously means the balls are green, the boxes are large, and the boxes have rough edges. The sentence "There are balls in the large boxes that have rough edges that are green." means the boxes are large, the boxes have rough edges, and the rough edges are green. The phrase "that which is" should clue you in to how it works.
  And you're wrong about whatever the fuck you're babbling about with regards to spoken. A language can be both spoken and written. You could dance it if you wanted to. It doesn't change the language when you're using the same grammar, syntax, and lexemes.
  There's nothing more pathetic than someone trying and failing to police the grammar police. You may as well try to perform a citizen's arrest on a cop for speeding when chasing a criminal. Try harder next time, retard.
5. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by dnavid · 2014-06-17 13:15 · Score: 1
  
  There's nothing more pathetic than someone trying and failing to police the grammar police.
  Self-annihilating irony seems to contradict that statement.
6. Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 22:02 · Score: 0
  
  What you wrote is wrong. Syntax and style conventions are different things. The only thing that comes close to correctness is the "that vs. which" part.
I refuse by 93+Escort+Wagon · 2014-06-17 04:49 · Score: 1

I prefer the current, genteel Internet - one where people are well-spoken and polite. I don't want it to become a cesspool of jargon and shorthand. Sure, you may think acronyms are harmless, but if they ever catch on... next thing you know, people will be putting numbers and symbols in place of letters, or even (God forbid) substituting one letter for another!

--
#DeleteChrome
1. Re:I refuse by Artifakt · 2014-06-17 08:09 · Score: 1
  
  Thaank goodness for the Eternal August.
  
  --
  Who is John Cabal?
FBI = STASI. by Aqualung812 · 2014-06-17 04:49 · Score: 1

Yet, you call this man a good friend, even though he supported an agency that you compare to the STASI?

--
Grammer Nazis - I mod you "troll" unless you actually add something on-topic. Yes, I know I have mispellings in my sig.
MTAE by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:50 · Score: 0

Most Transparent Administration Evah!!!
1. Re:MTAE by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 12:52 · Score: 0
  
  ITYM MTAE
Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? by TheCarp · 2014-06-17 04:51 · Score: 1

There is just NO EXCUSE for this. Someone else pointed out this is no better than the shit lavabit pulled with their font size. However, this is worked, a too small but legible font can be magnified and processed....an illegible document may as well not have been produced.
However, now that I see sharepoint....so sharepoint...they had this in electronic form and could have easily produced a perfectly legible document and chose not to.... nice guys....way to show you give a shit about compliance with the law you claim to uphold.

--
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
1. Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? by Megane · 2014-06-17 04:56 · Score: 1
  
  But they would have had to give you their sharepoint password! After all, TANSTAAFL.
  
  --
  #naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
2. Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:22 · Score: 0
  
  Reminds me of where I work. Where we get a help desk ticket with no real info but it has a screen shot attached... A screen shot the user printed, faxed in, copied the TIF and pasted it into a Word doc.
  Sigh.
3. Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? by jellomizer · 2014-06-17 07:04 · Score: 1
  
  They went online got the data, printed it on a dot matrix printer, then scanned it with a cheap hand scanner, then posted it online.
  Sounds like the government to me.
  
  --
  If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
xkcd... by Parker+Lewis · 2014-06-17 04:54 · Score: 1

I'm really disappointed to enter the comments and see we're missing any xkcd mention. By the way, what does xkcd mean? :D
1. Re:xkcd... by Opportunist · 2014-06-17 06:06 · Score: 1
  
  Loosely it translates to "almost all sensible four letter domain names are taken or occupied by domain squatters".
  
  --
  We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Tried to read it by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 04:59 · Score: 0

*Couldn't* RAEBNC
mark
What about this? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:14 · Score: 0

8 5 2 3 4 9 e d e f d 2 5 a b 1 1 8 1 7 7 e 9 d 6 d 3 7 7 3 a c
6 3 9 b a e 9 a c 6 b 3 e 1 a 8 4 c e b b 7 b 4 0 3 2 9 7 b 7 9
1 8 2 1 8 1 3 9 e e c 5 5 d 8 3 c f 8 2 6 7 9 9 3 4 e 5 c d 7 5
c 7 5 6 1 d b 7 a 4 1 8 d d 3 9 b 2 2 0 1 d f e 1 1 0 a b 4 a 4
b 5 e d a 0 a 7 4 5 5 8 a 3 4 2 c f 6 5 9 1 8 7 f 0 6 f 7 4 6 f
9 e 9 2 5 e 9 3 4 1 b 4 9 0 b f d 3 b 4 c 4 c a 3 b 0 c 1 e f 2
"Filter error: That's an awful long string of letters there." comes up, so I will have to break that up.
Does it have this one? by GameboyRMH · 2014-06-17 05:15 · Score: 1

MUAACMU - Meaningless Unimportant Acronyms Anyone Could Make Up

--
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
LSHISNPOOMN by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:16 · Score: 0

-or-
Laughing So Hard I Shot Noodle Pudding Out Of My Nose
Oh really? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:19 · Score: 0

NP & HG!
A /. special and obscure for newbies
LOL translation by shoppa · 2014-06-17 05:31 · Score: 4, Funny

According to the FBI list, preferred expansion of LOL is "Lots of Love". Example usage inside the FBI complex: Your co-workers father has passed after a long illness. Suggested text message: "Heard your dad died: LOL."
1. Re:LOL translation by Ambient+Sheep · 2014-06-17 12:25 · Score: 1
  
  I wonder if that's why UK prime minister David Cameron used to think that LOL meant "Lots of Love"? Perhaps he'd been given a similar list by the UK spooks based on the US one?
2. Re:LOL translation by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-19 13:59 · Score: 0
  
  According to the FBI list, preferred expansion of LOL is "Lots of Love". Example usage inside the FBI complex:
  Your co-workers father has passed after a long illness.
  Suggested text message: "Heard your dad died: LOL."
  Proper use of LOL is replying LOL to that post
OMG..... by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:40 · Score: 0

lol
Excuse me, sir. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:48 · Score: 0

Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
IAA by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 05:49 · Score: 0

Initialisms ain't acronyms
Know that one too? by Opportunist · 2014-06-17 06:07 · Score: 1

FUDS (Fuck you damn spooks)?
Gonna hear it a lot, might as well get used to it.

--
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Learned that one from Microsoft? :-) by K.+S.+Kyosuke · 2014-06-17 06:19 · Score: 1

I vaguely recall that years ago, Microsoft - could have been just an initiative of the local branch, though! - published a web page for parents along the lines of "how to recognize that your child is an online hacker" or something like that, starting with an advice to look for signs of "1337 sp34k" in their e-mails and texts, with a "helpful dictionary". It was full of genuine pearls like some of these. :-)

--
Ezekiel 23:20
MWATTIAA by Shark · 2014-06-17 06:38 · Score: 1

(My Whole Answer To That Is An Acronym)

--
Mind the frickin' laser...
FLA?? by codeman07 · 2014-06-17 06:43 · Score: 1

....But!!! FLA (4 letter acronym) is only 3... :(
Do they realize that everyone is laughing... by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 06:52 · Score: 0

AT them?
Thanks for the leg work guys ! 3 by Bitbyte_x · 2014-06-17 07:05 · Score: 1

I like the use correct English all the time and always wonder what on earth half of the IRC channels are talking about. So I would like to say thanks FBI for the reference guide 3 saves me some leg work haha
1. Re:Thanks for the leg work guys ! 3 by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 15:57 · Score: 0
  
  what on earth half of the IRC channels are talking about.
  According to the list linked in the summary, "IRC" is not a valid ackronym. I believe you meant "IRMC" (I Rest My Case).
corpus? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 07:59 · Score: 0

I had to look that word up in the dictionary.
Oh yeah! by Tablizer · 2014-06-17 08:02 · Score: 1

They can go VJS their KWPA until their steaming RLL drips burning BAML out of their rotting PYPN!

--
Table-ized A.I.
Sharepoint? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 09:13 · Score: 0

Srsly? FBI are using Sharepoint? haha
I have just one thing to say by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 09:16 · Score: 0

I have just one thing to say to the FBI here:
FOAD
BUFU by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 09:42 · Score: 0

Buy Us Fuck You
Why post this on Scribd? by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 10:31 · Score: 0

Not only is ScribD not allowing one to actually download the files without paying, but it is also known to abuse Facebook API and create accounts for every friend of anyone logged in. Why support such a scummy and inconvenient service?
HS Batman! by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 10:33 · Score: 0

I wonder if the FBI chat-reading software lets an agent hover over an acronym to read what it means in a tool tip. Sure would beat 80 pages of hardcopy.
Tables turned on the FBI by Anonymous Coward · 2014-06-17 11:02 · Score: 0

Didn't Lavabit's owner get held in contempt-of-court for doing this exact same thing to the FBI?
My most enthusiastic contrafibulations by sandbagger · 2014-06-17 14:03 · Score: 1

I am anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulations.

--
---- The above post was generated by the Turing Institute. Maybe.
Sad by Draugo · 2014-06-17 17:58 · Score: 1

I don't know which I find more hilariously sad. The fact that FBI refuses to comply with FOIA request by providing this shitty scan... or the fact that FBI feels the need to sensor the word fuck in their acronym list :)