Invaders Demand Flu Shots

An Anonymous Coward writes in with this bit from the Intercontinental Radio News Network describing an ongoing situation near Grovers Mill, New Jersey. What was originally thought to be a large meteor crash near the Wilmuth farm has turned out to be the beginning of a Martian invasion. Local officials have had limited contact with the invaders at this point, but their actions so far have the experts scratching their heads. "I expected to be disintegrated or turned into a pile of goo by their advance weaponry but all they did was ask where they could get cold medicine," says a first responder. Initial reports indicate that the aliens have gathered all the vitamin C and antihistamine tablets from the downtown area and have now surrounded the local hospital in their strange ships and are demanding flu shots. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention spokesman says that the agency theorizes the red Martian dust makes the cold and flu season almost unbearable and hopes that the aliens will leave soon after their treatments. He adds: "While alien invaders are terrifying we can take heart in the fact that our flu shot campaign has performed beyond all expectations this year by reaching Mars. We consider their demands our success."

Comments

how far we've come.

[nimbius]

slashdot 2001: Hey I uploaded a spoof RFC while rebalancing the cluster last night guys, the users are going to love it.

slashdot now: HEY Guys! we need to THINK up some more WAAAACKY pranks for that KOOKY april fools target date! lets really think outside the box on this one and task some actionables to those GOOF BALLS in MARKETING and see what deliverables they realize THIS quarter!

Re:how far we've come.

[rtb61]

Fine, on a more technical nature, War of the Worlds fails in the premise that aliens would be subject to infestation by microbes. Microbes of course survive by being able to not be noticed and reproduce, having evolved to target specific organisms. The reality of course is that aliens would suffer as a result of allergies, being subject to complex molecules they have not evolved to deal with. So dying of hay fever is more realistic than dying from infection.

2 April 2015 00:00:00 UTC

[rodrigoandrade]

Are we there yet?

all the fake stories...

[MitchDev]

...got old and tired long ago....

There's only one way to stop this crap

[ArcadeMan]

Nuke Slashdot from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Note to Dice: Slashdot needs to have NERD pranks, not lame science-fiction references passed as faux news. This is only funny for stupid people in your marketing department. PLEASE STOP.

Re:There's only one way to stop this crap

[halivar]

No no, this post needs to go in the Weyland-Yutani/LV-426 thread. Much more topical.

Martian invasion ...

[PPH]

... stymied by outbreak of autism.

Make it stop

[ArcadeMan]

For crying out loud please make it stop, it's less painful to work than to read Slashdot.

Re:*Chuckle*

[markhb]

It works better if you know how "The War of the Worlds" ended.