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Former HP CEO Carly Fiorina Announces Bid For White House

seven of five writes: According to Reuters, "Former Hewlett-Packard Co Chief Executive Carly Fiorina announced on Monday she is running for president, becoming the only woman in the pack of Republican candidates for the White House in 2016. ... Fiorina registers near the bottom of polls of the dozen or so Republican hopefuls and has never held public office. But she has already attracted warm receptions at events in the early voting state of Iowa where she is positioning herself as a conservative, pro-business Republican highly critical of Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. Fiorina was forced by HP to resign in 2005 as the tech company struggled to digest Compaq after a $19 billion merger."

As part of her announcement, she said, "I think I'm the best person for the job because I understand how the economy actually works. I understand the world, who's in it, how the world works." I'm sure we'll soon begin hearing from all the HP employees, current and former, who have nothing but love for Carly F.

24 of 553 comments (clear)

  1. "The Ego" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Carly "The Ego" Fiorina.

    Her ego covers a land mass the size of Maine.

    1. Re:"The Ego" by pla · · Score: 5, Funny

      Whoah whoah whoah there!

      We use standard units around here, none of that "furlongs per fortnight" crap.

      You'll need to rephrase that in multiples of Rhode Island, please.

    2. Re:"The Ego" by bkmoore · · Score: 5, Funny

      Whoah whoah whoah there! We use standard units around here, none of that "furlongs per fortnight" crap...

      How many British Thermal Units per hour is she capable of performing when at peak capacity?
      For extra credit: What is the BTU/h per stone, i.e. specific power?
      Please show all unit conversions and penmanship counts.

    3. Re:"The Ego" by Jason+Levine · · Score: 3, Funny

      How big is her ego exactly? Can you express it in Donald Trumps? (The standard measure of ego size.)

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    4. Re:"The Ego" by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Funny

      How big is her ego exactly? Can you express it in Donald Trumps? (The standard measure of ego size.)

      Wrong. The standard unit of ego is the microtrump. A full trump is way too big for any practical use. That would be like expressing the power of your lawnmower motor as 1.2e-34 solar outputs.

    5. Re:"The Ego" by sl3xd · · Score: 3, Funny

      Kayye West Probably scores in the 200-300 milliTrump range.

      His score is severely limited by the fact he went up on stage twice to proclaim that somebody other than himself deserved best artist awards.

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      -- Sometimes you have to turn the lights off in order to see.
    6. Re:"The Ego" by FirstOne · · Score: 3, Funny

      Carly Fiorina in January 2004 meeting to head off rising protectionist sentiment in Congress, stated "There is no job that is America's God-given right anymore" on the topic of H1-B's in the USA

      It will be a cold day in hell before I vote for Carly.

    7. Re:"The Ego" by 31415926535897 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, it's hard to tell, so I propose that we burn her and find out exactly how many BTUs she contains.

  2. LOL LOL OMG.. HAHAHAHA by MickyTheIdiot · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I think I'm the best person for the job because I understand how the economy actually works. I understand the world, who's in it, how the world works."

    Oh Carly.. setting yourself up for a stand up career?

    1. Re:LOL LOL OMG.. HAHAHAHA by pushing-robot · · Score: 5, Funny

      She can see the economy from her house!

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      How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
  3. I slept with her in college. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    She kept shouting "UNACCEPTABLE" during it, and then finished on her own with some sort of power drill. It was the worst night of my life.

    1. Re:I slept with her in college. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Carla outsourced my job to an Indian guy named Sanjay.

  4. She did such a great job with HP by QuietLagoon · · Score: 3, Funny

    Let her do the same for the Country!

  5. Oh yeah, sign me up by NoNonAlphaCharsHere · · Score: 4, Funny

    Carly would probably lay off Congress and ship all their jobs to India, spend 13 trazillion dollars to buy Somalia, end all federal highway and other infrastructure funds; and drive the dollar down to 1$ == 12 slices of bread.

    1. Re:Oh yeah, sign me up by Jethro · · Score: 4, Funny

      > Carly would probably lay off Congress

      See, that I could actually get behind.

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      In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
  6. Actually, it makes sense by bledri · · Score: 4, Funny

    In general the GOP wants to reduce the size of government. She was very successful at reducing the size of HP. Clearly she is the perfect choice.

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  7. Her campaign page is up. by gcnaddict · · Score: 3, Funny

    carlyfiorina.org makes for insightful reading. I understood a lot about her conservative economic position after visiting.

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  8. Re:All aboard the FAIL train by Jethro · · Score: 3, Funny

    I hope you brought something to read, because you'll be waiting a loooooong time.

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    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
  9. Re:All aboard the FAIL train by Jethro · · Score: 3, Funny

    I think you should run.

    Seriously, can't do any worse, right?

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    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
  10. Re:All aboard the FAIL train by jandrese · · Score: 5, Funny

    Certainly you have heard of a place called Bengahzi? The Republican attack machine already considers it the worst attack on America since the War of Independence and according to them she personally orchestrated the attacks with help from Khaleid Sheik Mohammad and George Soros. They'll eventually get that report out of Congress saying exactly this if they try enough times.

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    I read the internet for the articles.
  11. Re:Real reason by quantaman · · Score: 3, Funny

    She did fuck all WHILE she was a corporate executive, too.

    Why does the media take people like this seriously? I think the corporate media automatically fawns over a CEO. It doesn't matter that the CEO is a failure.

    She is also the postergirl for "failing upwards" and the fact that we don't have any meritocracy in this country. She doesn't deserve to be a manger at Arby's at this point, and she doesn't deserve respect. But still the Corporate media fawns.

    It's not like she's running to captain a space station, it's the Republican Primary, they dream of finding someone qualified to manage an Arby's.

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    I stole this Sig
  12. Ex HP and Survivors for Fiorina! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe she can get a web page going of former HP and Lucent employees who endorse her!

  13. Re:All aboard the FAIL train by UnknowingFool · · Score: 3, Funny

    And the fact that her married a Mexican woman and had children with her must really cause them to seethe. She wasn't even a citizen when they married! Imagine the insult to the GOP base of marrying someone who isn't white and an immigrant! Jeb is doomed in certain parts of the base for this perceived travesty which is ironic because Jeb probably has the best chance of any of the candidates so far.

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  14. Re:Track record? by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 3, Funny

    Too late. 16 years of Bush/Obama has been enough.

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