Slashdot Mirror
Ask Slashdot: Buying a Car That's Safe From Hackers?
An anonymous reader writes: I'm in the market for a new car, and I've been going through the typical safety checklist: airbag coverage, crash test results, collision mitigation systems, etc. Unfortunately, it seems 2015 is the year we really have to add a new one to the list: hackability. Over the past several weeks we've seen security researchers remotely cut a Corvette's brakes, shut down a Tesla's computer, unlock a bunch of cars, intercept Onstar, and take over a Jeep from 10 miles away.
So, how do we go about buying a car with secure systems? An obvious answer would be to buy a car with limited or archaic computer control — but doing so probably comes with the trade-off of losing other modern safety technology. Is there a way to properly evaluate whether one car's systems are more secure than another's? Most safety standards are the result of strict regulation — is it time for the government to roll out legislation that will enforce safety standards for car computers as well?
So, how do we go about buying a car with secure systems? An obvious answer would be to buy a car with limited or archaic computer control — but doing so probably comes with the trade-off of losing other modern safety technology. Is there a way to properly evaluate whether one car's systems are more secure than another's? Most safety standards are the result of strict regulation — is it time for the government to roll out legislation that will enforce safety standards for car computers as well?
After graduating college and transitioning to my career at Taco Bell as a cream engineer (sour) I've taken the liberty in my extensive sabbatical time to research and in fact provide the slashdot community with a hardened, hackerproof vehicle that is both affordable as well as reliable. I give you, the 2001 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor.
The discerning customer will have acquired it through government auction between $600 and $800, where it will present not one, not two, but three indicator lights. One light, the engine light, serves to confirm an engine is present. The other two lights, ABS and the squiggly red noodle, are savvy decoys to confuse the hacker into presuming there is a functional breaking mechanism to exploit. Entering the vehicle the driver is greeted with the stench of so many dollar-menu breakfast sandwiches and carbon paper from a decade of parking citations. These aromas confound the hacker mind. Should the hackers persist, the vehicle contains plausible deniability technology for the engine itself. Instead of recirculating oil in the crankshaft, the security of this vehicle clandestinely burns the oil. Some people have heard of the chain of trust, and in this vehicle a sophisticated system called the chain of rust prevents tampering with idler and pitman suspension components as they are permanently affixed using oxidation technology. Finally, to seal their doom, hackers attempting to gain access to the glove box will become inextricably trapped in a foul blue, brown goo which is in fact the remenants of an exploded ballpoint pen and an old snickers bar, aged to perfection. Should the driver successfully decrypt the transmission and make it into first gear, the vehicle offers many moments of useful intermittent service.
Good people go to bed earlier.
They would steal the club and leave the VW.
I hacked your horse, all it took was an apple.
APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
Just remove the "Nissan" logo and replace it with one that says "Datsun".
You do know you're supposed to put that in the car?
I hacked your horse, all it took was an apple.
Damn Apple hipsters anythow!
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
I'd stay away from the 80s, and the latter half of the 70s. Not Detroit's best years. If you can afford a new car, you can afford any babied car from the 60's. Not only will you not have to worry about being hacked, or your computer choking, but you will look cool-as-fuck driving it. You'll have a car that can be picked out in a parking-lot, because it won't look like every other car there. Get one with bench seats - you'll have room for love-making. Don't forget, these cars we think of as hot rods today were the family cars of the 60s. Our family car, when I was a kid, was a '67 Impala. Nobody thought it was anything special then, but when you compare it to today's cars, it looks like a work of art.
You're worried about safety? Don't. We jammed the seat belts under the seats, and forgot about them. We did just fine without all that "safety" junk. Simply having a fine car will make you, and everyone around you, better drivers. Everyone respects a beautiful car from the sixties, and they'll respect you for having the good taste to own one. Crank the windows down, light a Lucky, put on your shades, crack a beer, and feel the power of an eight-cylinder, carbureted, Detroit engine under your feet!
Sorry, got a little carried away... But yeah, anything made before 1974!
-- sudon't
Air-ride Equipped