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Wealth Therapy Tackles Woes of the Rich
HughPickens.com writes: Jana Kasperkevic writes in The Guardian that it can be very stressful to be rich. "It's really isolating to have a lot of money. It can be scary – people's reaction to you," says Barbara Nusbaum, an expert in money psychology. "There is a fair amount of isolation if you are wealthy." According to Clay Cockrell, who provides therapy for rich, this means the rich tend to hang out with other rich Americans, not out of snobbery, but in order to be around those who understand them and their problems. One big problem is not knowing if your friends are friends with you or your money. "Someone else who is also a billionaire – they don't want anything from you! Never being able to trust your friendships with people of different means, I think that is difficult," says Cockrell. "As the gap has widened, they [the rich] have become more and more isolated."
Sci-fi author John Scalzi has published an entertaining take-down of the cluelessness in this article.
If the simplest solution is to donate all your wealth?
Let me find the world's smallest violin for you guys.
Someone else who is also a billionaire – they don't want anything from you!
Anyone who claims that has no understanding of the psychology of the majority of billionaires. See Carly Fiorina and her 'good friend' Steve Jobs for an example. If you're a billionaire, then other billionaires are the ones that have the most of what you value and therefore the best targets. Stealing from the poor is far more effort - you need to steal from loads of them.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Most societies would be more than willing to help ease the terrible burden of an abundance of assets. Raising the taxes on high incomes and capital gains would help reverse the Reagan-era onwards trend of wealth redistribution towards the higher income and wealth segments of society. We now know that wealth did not start trickling downwards, and grownups need to step in to correct the mistakes.
-- That grumpy BSD guy - http://bsdly.blogspot.com/
... is hire someone to manage their wealth and disguise themselves and go live among normal people to "cure" themselves of their own self imposed exile. AKA go live like a normal person instead. Wealth is something you can leave behind at any moment, there's no law of nature saying you need to be around your own wealth. AKA think of it like going on vacation.
People on this planet are so stupid.
If the rich feel that being wealthy is too stressful, maybe they should try being poor instead.
Another problem is that if you ever lose your wealth, you tend to lose your rich friends too. Other rich people might not be your friends because of the money, but because they're essentially just networking in order to get business opportunities. When you lose your wealth you become useless to them. I've personally noticed that the only real friends you have tend to be the ones you found in college. You might find a few from high school too.
So, other people have their own problems. I bet you still complain when you stub your toe even though there are people with no feet.
Giving away money isn't the solution, any more than chopping your foot off solves the foot issue. You can't buy yourself out of the feeling people are judging you.
If they're not this guy: http://www.politico.com/magazi...
If they're not that guy, fuck 'em. If the system is making them hyper-privileged and it's wrecking their relationships and making it impossible to live as a human being, it's on THEM to change the system because the system is there to serve them.
They're guilty for a reason. They don't need therapy, they need reform and rehab, and they are the ones in a position to change things.
It's morally wrong to give 'em therapy and soothe their little feelings without addressing the larger problem. They're unhappy because they are BAD PEOPLE.
Don't drive around in Bentleys, Lambos, or those ugly as sin Mercedes SUVs. You don't need a 10,000 sq ft, 6 bedroom house when you have no kids. Live comfortably but not showy and don't advertise the fact that you are loaded and you won't have the problem of wondering whether people are only interested in your for your money because no one will realize you have money. But therein lies the problem: most of these people WANT others to know they have money.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
This is true all over. How often do posters on this site kick back and have a beer after their friends come home from their job on the lawn service crew, or as an auto mechanic? Are most of your friends in technical positions? Do most of your friends have interests that align with your own? Same sort of thing.
People responding to this article act like they are fonts of egalitarianism when if you look at it they are probably just as judgmental (up and down, the responses being a case in point) as the purported billionaires in TFA.
I remember hearing some question that was, I suppose, meant to test your character, or something. "Would you rather be poor and happy, or rich and unhappy?" I think the "correct" answer was supposed to be "poor and happy," but I beg to differ. I've been poor and happy before. I've also had more than my share of poor and unhappiness. I think I'd give "rich and unhappy" a try. And if I can't deal with that I'd give away the money until it made me happy.
Wow, could there be a MORE polarizing article than this? And really, it *needs* a takedown? Come on. This is like the class warfare version of race-baiting.
Coming into money, especially quickly (e.g. winning the lottery) has been shown time and time again to leave people in a MUCH WORSE situation than they started from because they don't know the first thing about handling that much money responsibly. As far as the issue of finding people with similar problems, isn't that just part of life? My wife and I don't have kids, and that makes it really difficult to find other people/couples we can connect with. It's the same thing.
So quit bitching about how clueless rich people are. You're just as clueless about them as they are about you.
Sci-fi author John Scalzi has published an entertaining take-down of the cluelessness in this article.
One thing Scalzi has missed in his screed is this:
Noblesse oblige is a French phrase literally meaning "nobility obliges". It is the concept that nobility extends beyond mere entitlements and requires the person with such status to fulfill social responsibilities, particularly in leadership roles.
And it's one of the things that's missing from a lot of the 1%ers. This society made it possible for them to be 1%ers. They have a debt to society. And like the Lanisters – who always pay their debts – so should they.
"she directly makes a comparison by encouraging people to replace the word "rich" with "black" to see the problem with how she says people speak of the rich."
Sorry, John, but if you don't "like" the implications of replacing group X with group Y in a sentence, the problem exists in your own wetware, not with the underlying premise. You don't get to discriminate against "the right" groups with impunity just because it happens to better fit your world-view. Nor does the whiteness of that cohort have any relevance to the analogy (and in fact, your mentioning it actually commits the offense you accuse Kasperkevic of) - If you describe someone as "hung like a bull", their lack of actual bull-ness simply doesn't matter in the least; not even if that person makes their living as a professional butcher.
Kasperkevic didn't intend to literally equate the struggles of the rich with those of blacks (something you, as a professional author, should have grasped); rather, she used it as a literary device to highlight the fact that calling for lynching any group, whether black or Jewish or rich, should offend us as a violation of basic human dignity.
I earn about 80k and I used to dedicate 20% of my income and most of my weekends to running a soup kitchen in a shanty-town along with a couple other volunteers. The local narco-lord eventually moved in with assistance from political point-men, our lives were threatened both on the "legally ruin your life" and "shoot your head off" sense, and now it's a front for drug dealing. This, in the words of one of the point-men, was backed from all the way up by a ridiculously powerful and wealthy Cabinet minister who's now running for province governor. If you live in Argentina, you know who I'm talking about.
So yeah, I am the "1%" you talk about (even though I still don't even have my own home, I do okay, but lol at calling me rich), I interacted regularly with the bottom 30% and had no problem doing so, until the top 0.001% came in and ruined everything for everyone. We were in the process of getting people jobs, getting them off drugs even. Fuck this world.
While I understand "you can't tell if people are friends with you or just with your money," at the same time I also feel that if you are extraordinarily wealthy and you're not gladly dumping excess money to your friends, you're not a very good friend. After buying a nice house in a nice part of a city I love and putting enough away that I could have ~$100k/year in spending money, there is literally nothing else I would rather spend money on than bringing the people I love up to the same level. I know a lot of people tend to become greedy, but if that happens you talk to them and if they are more attached to the money than you, just cut them loose. You've made an important discovery and it only cost you money you didn't need anyway.
A couple of others have referred to this idea, which I have myself suggested to individuals who were troubled by "privilege." Give away all your money, get a job at Walmart and join the fight for $15 and hour and a union. All your (previous) troubles will seem so far away, you will make new and interesting and sincere friends and you will be contributing to making a better world. What more could you ask for?
If you go around driving a high end luxury car, Armani suits, gold Rolex watches, etc ... you're going to get attention.
Now, if you live your life like old school humble Protestants/Jews - live in a small house, wear Timex watches, at best a Brooks Brother's suit only when you need to, drive a Toyota, etc ... you don't have to worry.
And if you're really wealthy, biz causal and and a beat up anything. I actually met a very wealthy person and he was so low key I didn't know until I went to his place of business and one of his executives told me who he was - a guy who owned a $200 million concrete business.
Geeze!
My brother does this. He pays for meals but I find it awkward because he'll use his tip as a bludgeon. If service is bad, he'll not only refuse to tip but will sometimes refuse to ever set foot in the place again. If you're good, you might get a fifty dollar tip on a ten dollar pizza.
I don't think he's trying to impress me, or not primarily. I think it's a Darwinian thing where he's trying to improve the breed by punishing and rewarding.
Too bad this only underscores a sense that he is the puppetmaster managing and directing all his servants, passing judgement upon them because that's his duty. Put like that it sounds like the most extreme entitled assholery.
I'm poor, and I'm capable of getting bad service and thinking 'oh well, guess I'd better do some kind of tip, not like I'm special and there to throw my weight around. Maybe they were just having a crap day'. I guess if I was rich I would be more likely to assume I was there to pass out punishments and rewards.
"Rubbing it in your face" might be preferable because it implies someone posturing and doing a dominance behavior thing. This 'improving the breed' stuff, it's like dominance is already so completely assumed that the only remaining question is how you manage your slaves. And it seems to sneak into the behavior of relatively rational, non-evil people.
Yeah, its called the Republican party. Where the super rich are at the top and those at the bottom worship the rich.
Maybe if you're talking about "in the entire world", but the reference of "the 1%" usually refers to just in the US. It can refer to just in another country as well, usually modified with the country name like "the 1% of Canada", but I've never heard of it referring to the entire world's population without specifically mentioning the world.
If we limit our discussion to just the US, then the Census Bureau says that "The top 5 percent had incomes of $206,568 or more." Obviously, the top 1% would earn more than this. (For the record, 22K puts you in the 2nd lowest quintile - nowhere near the top 1%.)
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
Stated problem: People don't like me because I'm rich
Actual problem: I choose to be a complete asshole and fuck people over to become disgustingly rich.
Rich people therapist: Will say absolutely anything to make disgustingly rich person feel better about themselves so long as they get paid
Solutions:
- take away the tax dodges that let the super-rich get or stay super-rich
- raise taxes on those same super-rich and lower the tax burden on the middle class
blindly antisocialist = antisocial
If they don't like people always asking them for money, why don't they just get rid of their money? That's what I did.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Many dogs, if given unlimited food, will eat themselves to death. Yes, really. These dogs have no restraint and will consume food until their stomachs cannot physically hold any more. The stomach may rupture, and if not treated quickly, that is fatal.
I think of most of the super rich as suffering from the same sort of problem, only with money instead of food. They will earn, steal, and horde wealth beyond all sense. Even if it causes great harm to many others, damages society, they can't stop themselves. An example is wage theft. We have many people working in the restaurant business, for extremely low pay. But it seems the low pay isn't low enough to suit some owners, who bully their workers into working a few extra hours off the clock, delay paychecks, miscalculate the pay in their favor, and other tricks. It might be somewhat understandable if the franchises were struggling, but often they are doing very well indeed, don't really need more money. Nor is the owner hurting for money. Why then do they do it? They don't have good reason. Reasons of the "trickle down" variety are wrong. It simply is not possible for one person to use vast wealth efficiently. They can blow thousands on luxury conveniences that save a few minutes here and there, but it is not good value.
Meanwhile, the cheated workers must spend even more time struggling to get by on extremely limited means. The old expression "time is money" is so true for the poor. A lot of expense can be eliminated by burning more time. Dishwasher broken? Wash dishes by hand! Water cut off? Lug your laundry to a laundromat, use paper plates and plastic spoons, and as for showers, well, can rent a cheap motel room or visit the Y, but not every day. Instead, keep the deodorants and perfumes handy, and wear a cap to hide your hair. Toilets can be flushed with buckets of rainwater. Car repossessed? Take public transport, or bike or walk. The poor are forced to work around all kinds of things that the middle class take for granted, and ingenious and actually better and healthier though some of the workarounds are, it all takes time. What might they be able to accomplish if they didn't have to spend so much time scrapping and scrounging for every penny?
We should keep constant watch on the rich, and rein them in. Instead, we practically worship them. That's not good for anyone. People think the rich are really special, leaders and doers who've been rewarded with great wealth for their hard work, think it's all merited. Think they're John Galt. Some are, no doubt. However, when such status is given to someone who doesn't merit it, the result is almost always bad. That's where we as a society have fallen down. We let these undeserving rich get away with murder. In all the fraud and cheating that resulted in the Great Recession, only Madoff ended up in prison. This Angelo Mozilo should have gone to jail, instead he was only banned from ever running a company again, and allowed to keep much of the wealth he had stolen, and live on in freedom. Sure, he was fined a record amount, a fact they like to play up to try to show how tough they are on rich criminals, but it didn't reduce him to poverty, far from it. Since then, a few more perps have been put away, but it took years to do it. Meanwhile, little people are routinely dragged through the mud over petty debts. Some consequences would be okay if the big people faced the same consequences, but they don't.
Intellectual Property is a monopolistic, selfish, and defective concept. It is "tyranny over the mind of man"
I could give you the number for people in the United States and you'd exclude yourself because you're not the top 1% of Orange County. If you are richer than 99% of people, then yeah, you're rich. Deal with it. Somebody else is even richer? Cry me a river.
So you are rich. You got there either because you were a greedy little piglet or a parent left you a pile of money. And being a wealth addict you know you want more. So where is the best place to get a big pile of money to add to your stash. Mining the poor and wretched is too slow. You just have to manipulate way too many poor people to steal one penny at a time. But hanging out with rich people gets your leads as to where big money might be had. And if you need an investor only a rich guy is any good to you at all. One way to think about it is Donald trump. He is a living proof that a man can be a liar and an idiot and still have a pile of wealth. The wealthy are not smarter or more able they are simply greed bags with feet.