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Ted Cruz Drops Out Of The Republican Presidential Race (washingtonpost.com)
rmdingler writes: Ted Cruz drops out of the presidential race after losing in Indiana. Donald Trump has become the presumptive nominee before Hillary has locked things up versus Bernie. This is huge. Cruz's decision to drop out came after losing significantly to Trump in the Indiana primary. "I said I would continue on as long as there is a viable path to victory. Tonight I'm sorry to say, it appears that path has been foreclosed," Cruz told a small group of supporters Tuesday night. "Together we left it all on the field in Indiana. We gave it everything we got, but the voters chose another path." He said he would "continue to fight for liberty," but did not say whether or not he would support Trump as the nominee. The exit comes soon after he announced former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina as his running mate in a desperate move to keep his candidacy afloat.
R. Daneel Olivaw for President!
"Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race." - H. G. Wells
Considering how he now has to lay off his entire campaign staff, picking Carly Fiorina as his running mate looks more and more like a brilliant decision!
As a political analyst its simple to understand why a ted cruz candidacy was untenable. We simply need to look at the facts.
.04%. now, while this number is rising at an alarming rate, is nowhere near the 34% required for Ted Cruz to survive outside his spacecraft. his inability to handle Nitrogen and Oxygen perhaps cost him valuable facetime with the american people. Any reasonable subterranean intergalactic cephalopod species could surely identify with the all too common problem of our atmosphere and its no reason to think Ted didnt understand this problem acutely.
1. total Co2 in the earths atmosphere is around
2. The mindgasm with Carly Fiorina was tentative, as the aetherial fluids clearly hadnt been administered yet and the nanites had no substrate on which to build the newmind. Carly lacked ambition, determination, and a plan. Most importantly, she lacked the void stare, obedient subservience, and slow speech and gait that are all classic telltale signs of "the syrum." Of course Ted could have used the mindworms, but its unlikely a true fiscal conservative would take to using them. Theyre just too costly in a campaign.
3. despite liberal restucturing in the identity chamber, teds human form was too precitable and beginning to arouse suspicion of his youthful, larval past as the zodiac killer. Had he simply taken the time to explain that humans are a complete nutritional delicacy for his species and that 4-5 are required to exit the larval stage and return to the hivemind, most conservatives would have viewed this as a good leadership quality.
so heres hoping the Yaylaka prince Don-Al of Ukador persei 9, commonly known as "Don-Al Trumph" does better. and before you bash the candidate, its worth remembering his speech seems to approximate normal english almost 60% of the time! Quite an achievement if youve never slid into a humanform that may or may not have been a long haul trucker from illinois whos been missing for 36 years and presumed dead. I think we can all agree when he says "hail Ji-Ban-Lau forever" he means it.
Good people go to bed earlier.
I'm a little bit sad about Cruz' demise. I'm still planning on writing in "Lucifer in the Flesh". Because YOLO.
Plus, dig this: dude got so pissed when he dropped out of the race that he gave his wife a stiff Bill Laimbeer elbow to the grill. Milan Lucic can't throw an elbow that good.
https://vine.co/v/ixH9AVD6XlJ
And, it turns out that there's a video of Cruz wearing a pink feather boa. I'm not shitting you.
https://hollywoodlife.com/2016...
Honestly, somebody who does all that and still manages to find time to be the Zodiac Killer is someone I want to be president. And his dad was the shooter on the Grassy Knoll. You gotta give it to the GOP, they put up the best candidates for president.
You are welcome on my lawn.
He's undead.
You are welcome on my lawn.
He's pinin' for the fjords!
So....she got brought on just in time to lay everyone off?
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
Somebody would have to want to sleep with her first before she could get herpes.
It happened: she fucked HP, remember?
SJW n. One who posts facts.
Wow, finally a moment where Slashdotters can make a political insult without being at all off-topic.
Nazi !!!