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Fake Facebook Event Draws Police, Spawns New Meme (cnet.com)

An anonymous reader writes: A fake event announcement on Facebook has now launched "a long string of viral jokes featuring fake concert events for music acts at oddly appropriate venues," according to CNET -- for example, a Radiohead concert at Radio Shack or a Sunday Brunch with Insane Clown Posse. It began with a fake announcement touting an upcoming concert with Limp Bizkit on April 20 at a Sunoco gas station. "The event got so much viral attention and local and national news coverage that the Dayton Police Department had to issue a statement to the local press and on its Twitter page on April 19 that there would be no Limp Bizkit concert..." CNET reports.

"That still didn't stop a crowd of 100 Limp Bizkit fans from going to the Sunoco and chanting 'Fred! Fred! Fred!' in front of the station. The station had to close up for the night and police were called to the scene to disperse the crowd. Since then, other Facebook users decided to try their luck at tricking the more gullible people on the Internet into going to concerts that don't exist."
In an unrelated development, 12 Facebook employees and their guests were stuck in an elevator at Facebook's California headquarters for more than two hours on Friday, until being rescued by local firefighters using the Jaws of Life.

92 comments

  1. Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    These Facebook kids should go to prison for this. They are criminals and deserve to be locked up.

    1. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Today they attack the police, tomorrow they attack the priests, and the day after we are ruled by a caliph.

    2. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This nation is ruled by the PARTY OF THE DEVIL. If you vote for Clinton and her treacherous party in fall you will go to hell for this sin.

    3. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      She has destroyed so many women's lives. So many beautiful innocent women were treated so badly by her. Because they slept with her man.

    4. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Her SINFUL behaviour will make her GO TO HELL.

    5. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The day will come when GOD BECOMES FIRE and RAINS upon this country because of the SINS it has commited. Just as he did with SODOM and GOMORAH.

    6. Re: Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When the fuck did slashdot become the Fox News comment section

    7. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      She and sanders are DEMONS from third hell who want to destroy AMERICA and lead it to the path of the DEVIL.

    8. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      8 more years of DEMOCRAT DEVIL PARTY rule will get our country CURSED BY GOD.

    9. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Clinton and her science can't keep them safe from the FURY OF GOD that comes upon this country if she becomes president. Evolution doesn't protect you from the "I am".

    10. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Its their only option. On day 2 they will come and BEG to be allowed to pay for the wall.

    11. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And if they use curse words the wall just gets ten feet taller.

    12. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The devil is pleased by the democrats. They serve him well.

    13. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      THE ONE AND ONLY GOD will thank us all for the GREAT service we did for HIS GLORY and HE will give us back jobs and lift the curse from this country. America will be great again.

    14. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He wants this country to get CURSED by GOD so that you all go to HELL where he can PUNISH you.

    15. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Go through the streets of Paris at a full moon night, you will see the dark creatures coming from the graves and spreading the foulness of SODOMY and HEATHENDOM.

      Could you tell me which streets in particular? *makes airline reservation for Paris* ;)

    16. Re: Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Read these with a permanent /s mark.

    17. Re: Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When the fuck did slashdot become the Fox News comment section

      The Fox news crowd had to send a bunch of shills here to try to shift opinions of the tech crowd who are unswervingly democratic.
      They will either realize that it doesn't work, or they will keep trying and waste their resources on it. I don't care which because neither situation will change anything for the Republicans. They are grasping at straws trying to get a foothold whilst their party is going over the cliff.

    18. Re: Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Fuck I am

    19. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He wants this country to get CURSED by GOD so that you all go to HELL where he can PUNISH you.

      There's not enough mod points in the world to down-mod this guy.

    20. Re:Crime wherever you look by lucm · · Score: 1

      They are ripping us off folks, ripping us off.

      Are you talking about the unfair competition for Taco Bell, or the fact that the internal fights between cartels increase the price of drugs that merely transit across Mexico?

      --
      lucm, indeed.
    21. Re:Crime wherever you look by lucm · · Score: 1

      She's married to Bill Clinton. She's already in hell.

      --
      lucm, indeed.
    22. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So true, brother! Slain the infidels! Stone the sinners!

    23. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i would settle for just putting zuckerberg away instead, and forfeiture of assets to the treasury .. i'm sure there's dozens of things facebook ceo could be put away for. you know damn well a company that size, and with that massive of a data cache, is not 100% 'by the book', and that the ceo knows every dirty little secret deal, policy and procedure.

    24. Re:Crime wherever you look by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think a fine is appropriate for non-violent offenses. Violent offenders should be ordered to leave the parrish, and never return.

    25. Re: Crime wherever you look by wkwilley2 · · Score: 1

      Out of context, this is hilarious.

      This is what confusion looks like XD

      --
      Have you ever fallen asleep at the keybhanusdiog?
  2. HAHA! *nelson* by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    2 hours on a friday with 12 people in a tiny elevator. HA! That's what you get for working for doucherberg

    1. Re:HAHA! *nelson* by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Jews of life?

    2. Re:HAHA! *nelson* by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And having to listen to elevator music the whole time. Beautiful.

  3. I will never forgive you by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    for linking CNET. Shame

  4. GOD WILL DESTROY AMERICA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    GOD is a GOD of love but if the SINS are to grave he will PUNISH US ALL for the sins of the many.

    1. Re:GOD WILL DESTROY AMERICA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There still is a chance for AMERICA to be saved from GOD'S FURY that is to come upon this country. If Trump becomes president we will get a BORDER again and we will be protected from the CRIME that's pouring into our country.

    2. Re:GOD WILL DESTROY AMERICA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Trump is CHOSEN BY GOD for the HOLY TASK of cleaning this nation from SIN AND FOULNESS the treacherous democrat rule has cast upon us.

    3. Re:GOD WILL DESTROY AMERICA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      GOD is a GOD of love but if the SINS are to grave he will PUNISH US ALL for the sins of the many.

      All this talk of The invisible guy in the sky, who no one here seriously believes in, is not news for nerds or stuff that matters.

    4. Re: GOD WILL DESTROY AMERICA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      WhoooooooooÃÃÃÅ"iÅÅhhhhhh

  5. Fake concerts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I suppose there ought to be a prize for the guy who can draw the biggest crowd from the farthest away. I bet somebody could still sell Michael Jackson tickets. I know for sure that Zombie Reagan on the ballot would win the election. Scamming is becoming the biggest business there is. Thanks, Donald Trump!

    No, wait... I mean, Tanks Obama!

  6. TRUMP WILL BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Trump will be a great president, and he will lead this country back to GOD again.

    1. Re:TRUMP WILL BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT by someone1234 · · Score: 1

      Prepare to meet your Maker then :D

      --
      Patents Drive Free Software as Hurricanes Drive Construction Industry
    2. Re: TRUMP WILL BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pigs might fly.
      What's the dog got to do with it?

  7. Swatting Bizkits by turkeydance · · Score: 2

    next on America's Dumbest Crooks

    1. Re:Swatting Bizkits by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Grateful Dead concert at the national war cemetery.

  8. Crapflood central by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Okay, who's using a botnet to spam Slashdot with Trumpposts?

    Captcha: ferments (what this site is doing)

    1. Re:Crapflood central by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Let's see what lashwhip does about it.

      Is he even a nerd?

    2. Re:Crapflood central by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not a -1 mod on any of the above crapflood posts so far. Maybe its just serious AC posts that go against the groupthink that draw troll/flamebait moderation.

    3. Re:Crapflood central by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Probably not a botnet, Donald Trump's hair is so yooge it has its own /24.

    4. Re:Crapflood central by ArchieBunker · · Score: 1

      Not in the least. Especially when the DEC logo shows up for anything "digital" now. Hand in your nerd card if you don't know about the Digital Equipment Corporation.

      --
      Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
    5. Re: Crapflood central by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you know there was a big fight about the company name at the founding? Ken Olsen wanted to call it Digital Computer Company, but Harlan Anderson wanted to call it Analogue Equipment Corportion; he thought it was a more elegant name, and liked the double meaning, and, he supposedly said, "all electronics is really analogue anyway." They eventually compromised, in part because Olsen argued that people might confuse them with the Atomic Energy Commission. History is interesting.

  9. Hide the lede by PopeRatzo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The most impressive part of this Slashdot story is the little throwaway at the bottom:

    In an unrelated development, 12 Facebook employees and their guests were stuck in an elevator at Facebook's California headquarters for more than two hours on Friday, until being rescued by local firefighters using the Jaws of Life.

    Whoever "EditorDavid" is, I salute him. Little details like this might make me start reading more than just the headlines again.

    My admiration for the new regime of editors increases.

    --
    You are welcome on my lawn.
    1. Re:Hide the lede by inode_buddha · · Score: 1

      RE the new editors and the current forum spammers, Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

      --
      C|N>K
    2. Re:Hide the lede by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

      I'm not sure what you just said, but the answer is yes.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    3. Re:Hide the lede by inode_buddha · · Score: 1

      Basically the entire thread is borked, unless somebody feels like throwing away a ton of mod points on the crap flooders. So I posted some classical meme nonsense to point out the fact. FWIW I think the FB stunt is hilarious, and the elevator detail is a "WTF?" Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow and see if the thread's been cleaned up into something useful. RE the editors, I remember when timothy and soulskill actively waged war with the My Clean PC guy, he used to completely flood stuff off the front page.

      --
      C|N>K
    4. Re:Hide the lede by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      That's why I take the stairs.

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    5. Re:Hide the lede by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      (At least that stuff was funny. Sometimes on point even.)

      Are you GAY?
      Are you a black person?
      Are you a GAY black person?
      If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then the GNAA might be exactly what you've been looking for!

    6. Re:Hide the lede by Zontar+The+Mindless · · Score: 1

      I think we should stick with the traditional green.

      --
      Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
    7. Re:Hide the lede by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We're all relieved that you approve. you really should get a life.

  10. That isn't how memes work. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There's no clever or funny idea here to perpetuate. Declaring something a meme cnet, is within your power. Some people mocked a news story, just like any other day that ends in y.

  11. New twist on an old gag by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Years ago a group of friends went to an Air Supply concert and for giggles they all dressed up as glam metal rockers and made it obvious to everyone around them how much they were looking forward to seeing Aerosmith that night. You only get to be young once, enjoy it as long as you can.

  12. If we could have less FB shit on slashdot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...that'd be great.

    1. Re:If we could have less FB shit on slashdot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Less FB in general would be nice. I don't feel sorry for the people who got suckered; and the reason I dislike the pranksters ... is because they use FaceBook.

  13. Gotta love it by Ol+Olsoc · · Score: 1
    The absolute tools woh think that the univers rotates around Facebook, and choose it as the guidance center of their lives are learning a little bit. Nah - just kidding,

    Side note: After seeing the initial AC posts, I decided to surf at 2 in this subject. All but 2 posts were hidden.

    Step up your game cowards! Dumbass "Trump is going to make Mexico pay" posts are old hat now.

    --
    The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
  14. "new and improved!" by Gravis+Zero · · Score: 2

    Fire Chief Harold Schapelhouman, who said this might have been the first incident of its kind in his 35-year tenure, was concerned there might be a problem with the elevator's design and that, if so, other elevators might be affected. The elevator at issue has been in use since at least March 2015, when the building opened.

    "We would usually do an elevator rescue in older buildings with antiquated ... elevators," Schapelhouman told The Daily News. "Especially, when this is a brand-new, state-of-the-art building ... that's not good that something's not releasing on the elevator. Is that a one-off or is it a flaw of the elevator?"

    sounds like they found a bug in their fancypants system with mediocre QA.

    --
    Anons need not reply. Questions end with a question mark.
  15. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  16. it's official, Facebook is now officially myspace by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Writing is on the wall....

  17. Re: it's official, Facebook is now officially mysp by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My family mostly uses FB to keep in touch and share baby and vacation pictures. I would say it's more like AOL than Myspace. It's all very nice and domestic.

    It's a mom pants place. The new Readers Digest.

  18. A disintegrating trust-based society by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

    Basically, America is a trust-based society. People can say things, and other people can generally assume that they're telling the truth. Other societies are not trust-based. For example, China. When someone tells you something, it's probably a lie and you'd better check first. There are tons and tons of negative externalities that apply to non-trust-based societies. Basically nobody trusts each other, and for good reason, and this makes the society suck to live in.

    So, what happens when someone from a non-trust-based society comes to live in a place like America? Either they're impressed and want to be a part of it, or they think all these idiots are totally stupid for not protecting their stuff better. I mean, there are just these big treasure boxes lying around called stores, they don't even have any security! Huge amounts of scrap metal just lying around waiting to be cashed in - Americans call them manhole covers, but people know better. And likewise crap like this. It's ruthlessly taking advantage of a trust-based society because you've got to be an idiot to trust people. Previously all Americans were pretty much on the same page when it came to being trust-based, but that's changing quickly. People like these hoaxers think it's totally stupid nobody defends against them, and they think it's hilarious to attack the bonds of trust that hold society together. Yeah, well, if you want to live in a society like China, life is going to suck. Good job, assholes.

    --
    Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    1. Re:A disintegrating trust-based society by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      People like these hoaxers think it's totally stupid nobody defends against them, and they think it's hilarious to attack the bonds of trust that hold society together. Yeah, well, if you want to live in a society like China, life is going to suck. Good job, assholes.

      Actually, I see this as a good way of teaching the gullible an important lesson. Just sayin'.

    2. Re:A disintegrating trust-based society by tlhIngan · · Score: 1

      So, what happens when someone from a non-trust-based society comes to live in a place like America? Either they're impressed and want to be a part of it, or they think all these idiots are totally stupid for not protecting their stuff better. I mean, there are just these big treasure boxes lying around called stores, they don't even have any security! Huge amounts of scrap metal just lying around waiting to be cashed in - Americans call them manhole covers, but people know better. And likewise crap like this. It's ruthlessly taking advantage of a trust-based society because you've got to be an idiot to trust people. Previously all Americans were pretty much on the same page when it came to being trust-based, but that's changing quickly. People like these hoaxers think it's totally stupid nobody defends against them, and they think it's hilarious to attack the bonds of trust that hold society together. Yeah, well, if you want to live in a society like China, life is going to suck. Good job, assholes.

      The other side effect is you get to be stereotyped.. .for life.

      I'm sure China's already seeing the effects of their non-trust based society when people really don't trust them, even from trust-based societies. It doesn't take much but you hear of people taking steps to ensure their IP isn't leaked/copied/duplicated/etc, and that Chinese made stuff will just spy on you, is cheaply made, etc. All of which at one point was true because the Chinese factory owners scammed customers and produced cheap knockoffs.

      Now they've been scarred for life - every asks if Chinese made goods are ripoffs or who really did the work behind it. Or everyone goes "Apple iPhone ripoff!" or other thing. Or when a truly Chinese made product comes out everyone views it as low cost cheap crap that will break in rather spectacular and life-threatening ways.

      It's not impossible - Japan was in a similar situation, but then they decided to excel and start making products that were cutting edge and people wanted it. It doesn't matter if you have a reputation for knockoffs and clones and cheap crap, if you're the only one making something desirable, then it's a chance to show the world the stereotype doesn't apply by selling them quality goods. Japan sold stuff people wanted, despite their poor quality reputation, and slowly people realized that they can produce good stuff that is quality simply because their need for something only the Japanese sold was greater than their fear it would break moments after you left the store. (And when it didn't, and started lasting longer than competitors, there you go).

      The thing is, Japan had it easy - we were on the brink of a high-tech revolution, and the Japanese saw it coming, embraced it, and used that as a means for breaking free because the rest of the world simply couldn't match it.

      And it's not the fault of the trust-based society - the reason we ARE a trust based society is because the benefits are far greater. Europe and America didn't just happen, but flourished because people stopped worrying their neighbours were gong to steal their stuff and went on to putting that energy towards other things like research.

      Kinda like the whole "Guns and butter" thing in economics (where the output of two unrelated things is often constrained by maximum productivity). You can spend all your time, effort, and energy defending yourself, or you can put that into more productive things that help move everyone forward.

    3. Re:A disintegrating trust-based society by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If America is a trust-based society, why all the lawsuits?

    4. Re:A disintegrating trust-based society by Some_Llama · · Score: 1

      because of broken trust. duh?

  19. Inflated reports by malditaenvidia · · Score: 3, Funny

    I refuse to believe Limp Bizkit still has that many fans today.

    1. Re:Inflated reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Once again it's just shitty reporting by shitty media. They weren't fans, they were 100 people who showed up at what they knew was a fake event because it was a funny thing to do. I grew up in that area and know people who were there, I doubt a single fan was amongst them.

  20. Re:Appropriate venue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They're all family men now.

  21. the strategy meeting at Fox News by lucm · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Fox news crowd had to send a bunch of shills here to try to shift opinions of the tech crowd who are unswervingly democratic.

    The following scene takes place in one of those Fox News board rooms.

    The room is tense, as everyone waits for Bill and Megyn, who always do their best to let the other one arrive first at meetings. Most people in the room have already moved their pens, mistakenly positioned to the left the of notebooks by the intern who prepared the room for the meeting. There's a dripping pitcher of ice cold water in the middle of the table, as well as an uninspiring selection of juices. Nobody will drink juice during the meeting; the catering service has recently switched to those depressing plastic cups with a sticky foil cover, a type of container that nobody in the room knew still existed outside of hospital cafeterias. Another small brick in the wall of mediocrity that Anita in Facilities Management has started to build since she took over last October.

    The meeting mediator is fiddling with the whiteboard markers. She checks each one over and over to make sure that no permanent marker has found its way in the lot; she doesn't want some stupid thing to get written permanently on the whiteboard on her watch, like it happened in the Dasher room. The Dasher room... She almost shakes her head in disgust. Who picked the theme for naming the meeting rooms? It's already annoying to book meetings with the broken search wizard in Lotus Notes, it doesn't help to have meeting room names that don't convey their size. As far as she knows all the Santa Claus reindeers were the same size. It was so much better back at Rubbermaid; you knew immediately that for a crowded meeting it would be best to book the Texas or California room, not Rhode Island, which didn't even had windows.

    A guy with a 9-11 pin on his lapel - he never lets people forget that he was there that day - clears his throat. Everyone knows what's about to happen; he'll make a potentially controversial suggestion while the meeting hasn't started yet so he can feel the room's reaction without going on the official record. If the reaction is bad, he'll add something ludicrous to make it look like he was joking. Brainstorm meetings are supposed to be a safe place, but creativity has gone down drastically since those drones from Legal insisted that detailed minutes be kept of every meeting. The pre-meeting loophole is often the only way to bring up fresh ideas.

    "My son spends a lot of time on that Slashdot website," he says. "That's where the Geek Squad kind of people hang out to talk about iPhones."

    A few people nod. They, too, have awkward children with no social skills who spend their days arguing about iPhones and Linuxes (or is it Lunixes?) on internet forums. Those people know that their kids are very low on the totem pole, but at least not as low as the youngest boy of Anita in Facilities Management, who was arrested by the FBI for posting naked pictures of semi-celebrities on that ChannelFour website (or something).

    "Maybe we could hire a few internet experts to go on Slashdot and promote a healthy, God-fearing perspective on life," continues the Lapel Pin Guy.

    That's how the moderator refers to him when she talks with the girls in the yoga center locker room. Not Tom, not the 9-11 guy, not even Giuliani Junior like most people call him in Sametime chats. She calls him Lapel Pin Guy. She wishes he would move on. She won't admit it but there's a part of her that wouldn't mind taking him up on his offer to go share an order of pancake puppies at Denny's one of those nights. If he could just give the 9-11 thing a rest.

    "Wouldn't the regular users of Slashdot notice if marketing experts suddenly started to open accounts on that website?" asks a guy with no chin. He has a gigantic lump just above his right eyebrow, which is the real reason why he's never getting promotions, but he seems unaware of it. The thing is like a shiny, sometimes pulsating mound of flesh; it looks

    --
    lucm, indeed.
    1. Re:the strategy meeting at Fox News by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Really enjoyed your style of writing. I hope you get to do it for a living.

    2. Re:the strategy meeting at Fox News by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      hahahah. I would read your fox news fan fiction on a weekly basis.

  22. Facebook announces new product by Registered+Coward+v2 · · Score: 1

    Fire Chief Harold Schapelhouman, who said this might have been the first incident of its kind in his 35-year tenure, was concerned there might be a problem with the elevator's design and that, if so, other elevators might be affected. The elevator at issue has been in use since at least March 2015, when the building opened.

    "We would usually do an elevator rescue in older buildings with antiquated ... elevators," Schapelhouman told The Daily News. "Especially, when this is a brand-new, state-of-the-art building ... that's not good that something's not releasing on the elevator. Is that a one-off or is it a flaw of the elevator?"

    In related news, Facebook announced it was no longer supporting its Facebook Elevator(tm) project and replacing it with an entirely new concept called Facebook Stairs (TM)

    --
    I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
  23. Details of the Elevator rescue. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 2

    In an unrelated development, 12 Facebook employees and their guests were stuck in an elevator at Facebook's California headquarters for more than two hours on Friday, until being rescued by local firefighters using the Jaws of Life.

    This incident reveled another little known program in the Facebook organization. The trapped people, preoccupied with the trivial (i.e. trivial to Facebook) matter of getting out the elevator car, neglected to update their status for more than 15 minutes. That triggered a red alert in the monitoring the frequency of status update. Unnamed sources reveal a blue alert is issued after 5 minutes, orange after 10 and red after 15 minutes. The company's stock valuation depends on exponential growth of active status update and very low mean-time-between-update. Two years ago red alert was at 120 minutes, for this quarter the target is 15 minutes. They think two years from now the target is likely to be 15 micro seconds. Once red alert is triggered, fake postings of concern, and requests for status update were posted by robotic agents. Since they got no updates for many robotic proddings with increasing urgency, desperation and frequency, actual human beings looked at the accounts, and traced the last status update to "entering the elevator at FB HQ, OMG! Its so cool". That is how it was revealed they were trapped in the elevator.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  24. POTTY POTTY POTTY by Theovon · · Score: 1

    The worst thing about being stuck in an elevator is when you’ve had too much coffee and really have to pee.

  25. The Devil is cool. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He rocks!

  26. That god damn M word by oldcarsmell · · Score: 1

    The word "meme" needs to be eradicated from existence.

    1. Re:That god damn M word by Bitmanhome · · Score: 1

      Why? Me-me is exactly what social networks are for.

      --
      Not that this wasn't entirely predictable.