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Startups Can't Explain What They Do Because They're Addicted To Meaningless Jargon (qz.com)
Josh Horwitz of Quartz, who is attending RISE Conference, has an observation to share about the startups he is seeing at the event: As startup culture has gone global and transcended stereotypes, though, one of its defining traits has stuck around. Startup jargon is alive and well, and it seems to be getting worse. "Content." "Platforms." "Synergy." "End-to-end." "Solutions." It's nearly impossible to find a startup at the conference that doesn't resort to jargon when describing itself. These words sound technical and informed. But they mean nothing, and they make it difficult for ordinary people to understand what a company actually does. In an effort to either sound smart and attract investors, or to simply dress up an otherwise boring product, startups that rely too much on jargon end up alienating the users they want to attract.Also in the report, Horowitz talks about an app called Cubes, and how it was pitched to him. "We visually organize your email and cloud-based content for ultra fast access. It's visual storytelling with any type of content." The app essentially retrieves non-text attachments from one's email or Dropbox account, takes screenshots of those things and bundles them together in a standalone app.
In that case, sir, I'd like to synergize some venture capital from you for my new end-to-end cloud content solution.
It's a whole-home item aggregation service where the user can organize and prioritize deficit values to leverage on-demand expenditures.
-- grocery list
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I'm sorry, but your opinion seems to be wrong.
To call the type of cutting edge thought leadership that we do in our particular paradigm landscape nothing more than jargon is simply unsubstantiated. By leveraging the de-facto enterprise-ready solutionspace that your clients are already engaged with, we enable your company to provide truly agile customer-driven projects that have a low ready to market to headcount ratio.
Take it to the limit, everybody to the limit, come on, everybody fhqwhgads.
Wow I can't stand that word. If that word comes up in your pitch im walking away right then. Not going to say anything just turn around and leave.
But you can't move forward with shifting paradigms without realigning synergies!
For your amusement, I present to you the Startup Generator.
Love sees no species.
I need to work the word "splagnic ganglion" into conversation somehow.
My UID is prime and so is this number: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0.
Bullshit. Some people don't know what a null pointer means, but it does actually mean something.
Synergising canine gonads into a polycultural chromatic win-win narrative doesn't mean anything to anyone, anywhere.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Hey, that is my job description you insensitive clod.
Synergising canine gonads into a polycultural chromatic win-win narrative doesn't mean anything to anyone, anywhere.
I assumed it was curried dog testicles in an italian marinara sauce served on hokkien noodles.
In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
Are you leveraging crack?