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'Only Voice Memos Can Save Us From the Scourge of Email' (qz.com)
Emails are great -- so much so that many believe that it's one of the best inventions of all time. But when you get hundreds of emails everyday, things could get harder to handle. Understandably, many have resorted to alternatives such as Slack, Gchat, and other IM services to offload many of the things they previously did exclusively via emails. An article on Quartz today argues that perhaps voice notes is the best alternative to emails. From their article: There's a solution staring us right in the face: a technological tool that preserves the intimacy of the human voice without requiring people to sync up their schedules. As a number of remote workers, diaspora communities and expats have already discovered, voice notes might just be the answer we've been waiting for. Barcelona-based filmmaker Philippa Young, for example, relies on WhatsApp's voice notes to communicate with her nomadic yet tight-knit team of 15. She sends audio notes throughout the day that range from just a few seconds in length to 10 minutes. The system allows her far-flung coworkers to respond whenever the sun rises in their time zone or they manage to find a stable wifi connection. [...] Voice notes also offer an antidote to one of the primary anxieties of the digital era "the fear that emails, texts and instant messaging rob conversation of emotional nuance, leading to endless misunderstandings and social blunders. "The thing that I really value about it for our team spread out across the world is that when I get a voice note from someone, they've spoken to me and I hear their tone of voice," Young adds. "You can hear in someone's voice how they're feeling."
Obviously they have never experienced what it's like to get a voice memo from someone like this:
helloit'skatefrommarketing mycomputerisdeadandiwaswondering ifyoucouldstopeverythingyourdoing andcometakealookatitmynumberis 1234567890kthanksbye
Spoken at the rate of a bazillion syllables per minute. Where you have to listen to the damn thing six times just so you can write down their name and number to call them back :|
They may not think so highly of their email alternative afterwards. . . . .
That way my employees can know the subtle complexities of my farts. If only we had smell to go along with it, but technology has failed us so far.
Only Voice Memos Can Save Us From the Scourge of Email
Yes, in the same way that only pouring battery acid on our crotches can save us from pubic lice.
The obvious solution is voice to text - which is available from most voice mail providers. So long as that can be made to work for voice notes all is well. That way you can get the 10 minute diatribe emailed to you so you can scan it for relevant information in 30 seconds. Maybe also email the mp3 for those 1 in 100 cases where I actually want to listen to the message.
To be fair, the person advocating this was a filmmaker, I can't think of an industry that more enjoys listening to the sounds of their own voice.
"Beep... Hey, I've attached a PDF to this voicemail. Please enter the following text into base64 -d to read my attachment:
Upper-case J, upper-case V, upper-case B, upper-case E, upper-case R, lower-case I, number 0, lower-case X, upper-case L, ..."
No... just.... No... If there was ever an apt time to use the Billy Madison quote, this is it....
"... [W]hat you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."