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German Police Mock 'Not Very Clever' ATM Robbers (bleepingcomputer.com)

Posted by EditorDavid on from the hilarious-heists dept.

An anonymous reader quotes Bleeping Computer: German police mocked a group of bungling crooks that tried to rob an ATM, but instead of malware they chose explosives, which they unwittingly placed near a device that issued bank statements, and not the actual money-dispensing ATM... The crooks placed small explosive charges next to a machine they thought to be an ATM, in the hopes of breaking its outer casing and getting access to the money vault inside... After being called in to investigate the loud blast that woke up the bank's neighbors German police discovered a partially destroyed bank statement printing machine... No money was stolen in the failed robbery, police reported.
In a statement on the Berlin police department's official web site, they described the ATM thieves as "not very clever."

46 of 88 comments (clear)

  1. That's ok by Dunbal · · Score: 1

    And I mock the German police if people are running around with explosives. Way to miss the point.

    --
    Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    1. Re:That's ok by amiga3D · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Especially if the guys with explosives are idiots. That's just what you need, not!

    2. Re:That's ok by rtb61 · · Score: 2

      Actually doubly dangerous because they are idiots with explosives a very critical situation for the German Police to handle. Not funny at all.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    3. Re:That's ok by ravenshrike · · Score: 1, Insightful

      More importantly.

      Crooks were probably foreign nationals

      It's very likely that the crooks were nationals of other countries, just arrived in Germany. Unlike other countries, where ATMs can also print out minimal bank statements and account balances, not all ATMs have this function in Germany, where banks also use specialized machines to print out in-depth statements.

      Now, what brand new group of foreign nationals has a tendency towards use of explosives? Unless there is a sudden influx of IRA expats I'm unaware of, the fact that they used probably homemade explosives would seem to be cause for concern.

    4. Re:That's ok by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      people running around with explosives surprise you? I can drive 10 minutes to any fireworks store and buy several explosives and even mortar shells. I can go to home depot and buy what I need to make freaking ANFO.

      There is zero problem with people having explosives. I lived on a farm and granddad actually had a case of dynamite. Back in the 70's dynamite was purchasable at ACE hardware. and some how we did not go on murder sprees....

      I am far far more concerned about mentally unstable people than explosives.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    5. Re:That's ok by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 1

      Maybe it was a peaceful diplomatic mission?

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    6. Re:That's ok by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      Oh, you miss the good old days when German police kept strict records on everyone?

    7. Re:That's ok by ArmoredDragon · · Score: 1

      That's ok, so long as there are no guns in the country, then the country is safe.

    8. Re:That's ok by rtb61 · · Score: 1, Troll

      Now don't forget, when you think of idiots with bombs, that brings to mind a certain group, a bunch of middle eastern dudes pretending to be children and a religious fervour to dominate and sexually abuse women and girls. They also tend to have guns, guns and penis go, cough, cough, hand in hand ;D.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    9. Re:That's ok by Jzanu · · Score: 1

      Neo-nazis, actually. The sames idiots who killed Andrew Brazhevsky in Odessa.

    10. Re:That's ok by gweihir · · Score: 1

      Not everybody is a fearful, panicky American. The comment by the police here is right on the mark for sane people. They actually understand the situation and are not spooked by mere keywords. And yes, this is funny.

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    11. Re:That's ok by gweihir · · Score: 1

      Indeed. Thieves after money have zero motivation to harm anybody with these explosives. In fact, a run-of-the mill car is probably equally dangerous and we do not break out in mindless panic if somebody is using one of those.
       

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    12. Re:That's ok by Joce640k · · Score: 1

      That's ok, so long as there are no guns in the country, then the country is safe.

      There's a LOT of guns in Germany.

      --
      No sig today...
    13. Re:That's ok by Mashiki · · Score: 1

      Especially if the guys with explosives are idiots. That's just what you need, not!

      Stupid shit like this happens a lot more then people think. While not on the same level, it reminds me of the case that went through the courts a few years ago where a couple of people stole a ATM from a bank. So what did they do? They went to their local rent-all store, rented a small CAT tractor. Then pulled the ATM out of a bank after ramming it repeatedly and dragging it away. The kicker? They didn't cover up the company rental name, the rent-all's serial number on the side, and were actually dumbfounded when the police caught them. I believe it was something like "I don't understand how we were caught" when they were arrested.

      It was absolutely hilarious watching the court case. Especially when their defense attorney tried to claim that it really wasn't them, even though they did this all with their faces uncovered. I heartily recommend people spend some time at court watching court cases from time-to-time(if they have the time off). Some of the stupid shit is amazing, some if it's just down right depressing like family court. And you see things like a father turned down for custody, even though the mother has a long history of abusing the kids, is a drug addict, and the house she's living in is an actual druggie flop house.

      --
      Om, nomnomnom...
    14. Re:That's ok by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      And I mock the German police if people are running around with explosives. Way to miss the point.

      I'm running around with explosives too. I mean it's new years eve shortly, are you saying you haven't stocked up on fireworks and explosives yet? Why should the police care about this?

      Furthermore how should they police it? I mean I have flour and sugar in cupboard, petrol in my car, not to mention a few pressurised cylinders of flammable gas laying around. My personal favourite is my acetylene cylinder, but even if you aren't criminal enough to own a welder god forbid you need to take a dietary calcium supplement, make sure you don't spill water into that pill packet and set it on fire.

    15. Re:That's ok by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      That's just lacking imagination. I'm sure I could drive to your house and make some explosives from what you have laying around.

    16. Re:That's ok by CanadianMacFan · · Score: 1

      Idiots with explosives tend not to run about for very long.

    17. Re:That's ok by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      The criminals are Dutch. There have been a lot of attacks on ATM's in the Netherlands in the past few years, but as countermeasures have proven effective the criminals have moved to Germany. This has been reported on in the Dutch press.

    18. Re:That's ok by Sique · · Score: 1

      In this case, probably people from Belarus or Ukraine, traveling via Poland to Berlin. Berlin is pretty close to the eastern border of Germany (just 50 mls), and there are many gangs of criminals specializing in this type of crime. In Austria, those type of attacks are often perpetrated by people from Southeast Europe, and I would bet that a considerable amount of criminals operating in France or the Netherlands are based in Germany and trying to get over the border as fast as possible after their heists.

      --
      .sig: Sique *sigh*
    19. Re:That's ok by amiga3D · · Score: 1

      I have a male friend who won custody of his son after a 2 year long and expensive court fight. His ex had taken up with a guy who was running a meth lab in the house with the 5 year old boy and his mother living there. The sheriff's department raided the house and arrested everyone there including the mother. Her boyfriend manned up and covered for her claiming she didn't know the lab was there and since she had a 5 year old the prosecutor chose to buy the story. Almost 20 thousand dollars in legal fees later the boy's father got custody. He had a good attorney because it was a near thing.

    20. Re:That's ok by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      But perhaps the joke is on the police as Germany is the only language they know.

      1. Germany is not a language.
      2. English-speaking folks tend to like to travel to Germany partly because everybody and zheir mother speaks English. You'll be having a hard time finding someone who you can't communicate with at all.

      A concerned German.

    21. Re:That's ok by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      Around which time is that have supposed to have been?

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    22. Re:That's ok by Aighearach · · Score: 1

      Well, it isn't funny before the explosives go off. But after they've been detonated, it is pretty safe to decide to laugh, or not. It is highly unlikely that there are additional hidden explosives that activate whenever a cop laughs.

    23. Re:That's ok by Aighearach · · Score: 1

      There's a guy on youtube named Cody that pisses explosives, it isn't that hard to do.

    24. Re:That's ok by Aighearach · · Score: 1

      Around which time is that have supposed to have been?

      1930s-current , though these days they use foreign allies to do much of the physical storage and manage data retrieval in a way that avoids local scrutiny.

    25. Re:That's ok by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      You seem to miss that since 1945 holding records bout unguilty/unaccused citizens is illegal. And records about convicted citizens are to be deleted after appropriated time.

      Facepalm.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    26. Re:That's ok by tlhIngan · · Score: 1

      Stupid shit like this happens a lot more then people think. While not on the same level, it reminds me of the case that went through the courts a few years ago where a couple of people stole a ATM from a bank. So what did they do? They went to their local rent-all store, rented a small CAT tractor. Then pulled the ATM out of a bank after ramming it repeatedly and dragging it away. The kicker? They didn't cover up the company rental name, the rent-all's serial number on the side, and were actually dumbfounded when the police caught them. I believe it was something like "I don't understand how we were caught" when they were arrested.

      It was absolutely hilarious watching the court case. Especially when their defense attorney tried to claim that it really wasn't them, even though they did this all with their faces uncovered. I heartily recommend people spend some time at court watching court cases from time-to-time(if they have the time off). Some of the stupid shit is amazing, some if it's just down right depressing like family court. And you see things like a father turned down for custody, even though the mother has a long history of abusing the kids, is a drug addict, and the house she's living in is an actual druggie flop house.

      The police catch two kinds of criminals. The stupid (as in this case) and the idiotic braggarts. The stupid leave a paper trail behind (ranging from their name plastered on their hard hat, or uniform, to tracing VINs on exploded vehicles). The braggarts are even easier as they usually broadcast their exploits on social media, seeing that a takedown of a website is useless if no one claims it, for example.

    27. Re:That's ok by syntotic · · Score: 1

      Ha. Ha. Ha. Now, were are those Arab guys, still in Germany? The bank line went down in the store right after my first purchase and I had to use an ATM to get more sandwiches. Coincidences.

  2. That is not mocking by prefec2 · · Score: 1

    If you cannot a bank statement printer from an ATM you are not very clever. They only coroborrate the truth.

    1. Re: That is not mocking by prefec2 · · Score: 1

      First, what the heck has Merkel to do with it? Are you nuts? Second, ATM machines all look the same. However, printer look different. Very different.

    2. Re:That is not mocking by houghi · · Score: 1

      Being Europe, most likely they will have icons on the machine indicating if it is cash or no-cash machine.

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    3. Re:That is not mocking by arglebargle_xiv · · Score: 1

      Bringing a new meaning to the phrase "duemmer als die Polizei erlaubt".

    4. Re: That is not mocking by GNious · · Score: 1

      However, printer look different. Very different.

      They do? I've been in a few banks around here, where there were separate ATMs and machines-for-non-cash-operations (no idea what they are called), and I couldn't tell them apart trivially, or at least not deduce that the other ones did not have cash.

    5. Re: That is not mocking by fazig · · Score: 1

      Yeah, they do.
      ATM on the right, bank statement printer on the left

      While not all bank statement printer look like the one of the left (example), pretty much all ATMs look like that one on the right. What's also common for statement printer is a rudimentary user interface as you do not need to put in any information, all you do is to insert your card and the device will start printing after a short while.

    6. Re: That is not mocking by gweihir · · Score: 1

      Not necessarily. A printer can be an ATM variant with different software and no money loaded. Or it can use the same front as an ATM. It depends.

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    7. Re: That is not mocking by jrumney · · Score: 1

      That looks more like a cheque deposit machine to me. Where does the statement come out from?

    8. Re: That is not mocking by fazig · · Score: 1

      Closeup of the first example and the second example.
      In general these machines are a lot simpler than your common ATM. It is kind of weird that someone mixed those machines up, which makes me think that it might have been a 'simple' (although quite dangerous) act of vandalism.

    9. Re: That is not mocking by bickerdyke · · Score: 1

      cheques? How quaint.... I haven't seen cheques since the mid 90s.

      --
      bickerdyke
    10. Re: That is not mocking by Plumpaquatsch · · Score: 1

      First, what the heck has Merkel to do with it?

      If you knew anything you'd know that she is responsible for the huge influx of foreigners that are responsible for the massive increase in crime in Germany.

      Which crimes exactly? Oh yeah, mostly "Illegally entering the country".

      --
      Of course news about a fake are Fake News.
  3. German police better hurry and catch them by penguinoid · · Score: 1

    If the police want to catch the idiots who have explosives, they better hurry. Otherwise, they may need a dustpan.

    --
    Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
  4. The criminals have not been caught, have they? by 93+Escort+Wagon · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If the criminals have not been caught - which appears to be the case - the police should not be mocking their intelligence. Otherwise the police are basically saying "these criminals are dumb, but we are unable to catch them - so we're even dumber". Of course if that's the case I don't expect those police to be aware of it.

    --
    #DeleteChrome
    1. Re:The criminals have not been caught, have they? by Aighearach · · Score: 1

      It may not actually be the job of the police to solve all the crimes, but just to investigate and make arrests when evidence is found.

  5. Re:There are Better Ways to Steal by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 2

    Why bother with all that work when ATM's aren't Tempest-hard and you can get a decent SDR setup for $20 on a laptop? Skimmers seem expensive by comparison.

    --
    My God, it's Full of Source!
    OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  6. My bank charges a fee for a printed statemen by Mike+Sheen · · Score: 1

    My bank charges a fee for a printed statement to be sent to me. Maybe these guys were not so dumb after all.

  7. The same german police? by BlackPignouf · · Score: 1

    Is it the same German police who said last month "How could we know that Jabr al-Bakr (who was planning a suicide bombing) was suicidal?".

    Fun fact: It was a fake article in Postillon (a german The Onion, http://www.der-postillon.com/2...), but the real police said exactly the same thing in Spiegel (http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/jaber-albakr-terrorverdaechtiger-sprach-nur-einmal-einen-dolmetscher-a-1116457.html) afer the suicide bomber commited suicide in his cell .

    PS: If you find a MP5 laying around in Germany, please be kind and send it back to the police (http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/justiz/leipzig-polizist-muss-verlorene-waffe-wohl-bezahlen-a-1116633.html) Thanks in advance!

  8. Oh, how is this news? by Ihlosi · · Score: 1

    They didn't even manage to blow themselves up, so they met the minimum standard for cleverness.