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Oracle Hires Global Specialists To Explore Feasibility of Buying Accenture
Paul Kunert writes in an exclusive report via The Register: Oracle has hired global specialists to explore the feasibility of buying multi-billion dollar consultancy Accenture, sources have told us. The database giant has engaged a team of consultants to conduct due diligence to "explore the synergies that could be created if they [Oracle] bought Accenture lock stock and barrel," one source claimed. On top of the financial considerations, the consultants are evaluating the pros and cons including the potential impact on Oracle's wider channel. "While these things have a habit of fizzling out there are some fairly serious players around the table," a contact added. Another claimed the process was at an early stage. "If buying Accenture was a 100 meter race, Oracle is at the 10 to 15 meter stage now." [T]his buy would be an immensely bold, complicated and pricey move: NYSE-listed Accenture has a market cap of $77.5 billion, and shareholders will expect a premium offer. A deal would dwarf Oracle's $10 billion buy of PeopleSoft, its $7.4 billion deal for Sun Microsystems, and more recently, the $9.3 billion splashed on Netsuite. In buying Accenture, Oracle would be taking a leaf out of the mid-noughties handbook - when HP fatefully bought EDS and IBM acquired PWC to carve out a brighter future.
for all parties.
I'd rather be riding my '63 Triumph T120.
just imagine the synergy of two companies peddling the same bullsh*t.
in privately funded asteroid mined Mars colonies!!!
It's DA FEWTCHA!!!!!
You know a consultant is worth every dime when they're going to "explore the synergies". That phrase makes me wonder - did they hire *actual* consultants or parodies?
H1b reform will put Accenture out of business.
they will form the gayest and most evil company in the world.
Oracle: We want to hire you to tell us if buying this company is a good deal
...and you want me to tell you if spending money on something is a good idea...
...and this purchase price will still be in the billions...
Me: Sounds like you want me to be a consultant...
O: No no no Consultant is such a 90's term "Global Acquisition Specialist" is better.
Me:
O: Oh no, this has to be a SMART expenditure of capital! We can't be wasting Larry's cash that's reserved for a small Bohemian island on a Dud!
Me:...even though purchasing something that is well known to be a horrible investment is a bad idea...
O: You have to look at it TODAY not how it was THEN! Things change you know this!
Me:
O: That's only a few Oracle Database Enterprise licenses. Pocket change
Me:..and you want to wrap this up in the next Quarter.
O: Sooner the better, due diligence and all that.
Me: I'll submit my invoices straight away starting with this conversation.
O: CAPITAL! I knew we hired the right team!
Me: <looks around at the empty chairs only person in the room>
Wheel of Time: Book by Book and Sumview (summary review) Bigdady92 style: http://bigdady92.blogspot.com/
What the hell is that?
The wonderful thing about IT consulting is that you can speak total horseshit. Folks will assume that they are just ignorant of something and are too afraid of looking stupid and being the subject of out of earshot gossip - you know, being THAT guy* - and keep their mouths shut and don't ask questions or call them on anything.
So, everyone nods their heads like they understand, act like they know what it all means because THEY aren't stupid and the consultant takes home a nice big fat paycheck.
*-"That guy" is the guy that everyone slams behind his back as being "worthless" or "sucking" or whatever. But it's funny that when you try to pin down the gossipy little cunts as to exactly WHY the person is worthless, they can't do it or they make of shit. My hobby is grilling gossipy little bitches because they do nothing but bring the team down.
I had one once claim that "THAT" guy sucked because he had a "lot of bugs in his code". It was horribly fun when I pointed out that the little bitch had MORE defects than the guy who "sucked".
So, when folks in our profession stop acting like Mean Girls (Awesome Movie!!), we won't have to deal with this horseshit.
...well known consulting firm Accenture announced that they signed an important agreement with an unspecified Silicon Valley company specialized in databases. Accenture will provide consultancy services for market research, and advices in the field of acquisition & merging. The amount of the agreement has not been disclosed.
EDS was building the Navy-Marine Corps Internet, and woefully underestimated the scale of the project. They low bid thinking they would do so well they would earn all the contract incentive awards later to make up for it. Well, they didn't. It almost killed the company. Made them ripe picking for HP. Only thing was, now HP had to deal with EDS's problem. It didn't turn out as well as they thought. As long as Oracle understands Accenture's issues and problems right now, they should end up with a better deal than HP did.
Accenture is a big SAP implementer, and other rival software (Microsoft, salesforce.com).
... the 50,000 Accenture employees that are actually paying attention just shat their pants...
The heat from below can burn your eyes out
Popcorn futures up 5% on the news.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
The merger of Accenture(tm) and Orance(R) will create a manageable and scaleable enterprise computing solution which will leverage Java-based hypervisorsors to enable dynamic platform management strategies to improve total costs of ownership in the management of information technology sectors.
Oh, and Synergies.
A certain IT news/scandal site that sprung out of the dotcom bust used to instruct its readership on how to pronounce Accenture's name, whenever it was in the news.
This merger should make for a really fascinating corporation.
While at it, why not merge with Monsanto, Halliburton, and Blackwater --- not as if their reputation/image can get any worse...
(Oracle's reputation is well-known in these here parts. Accenture grew out of Andersen Consulting, a sister company to Arthur Andersen, accountants that didn't detect anything wrong w/Enron back in 00s).
The first time I heard Oracle was considering buying Accenture was back in 2009, when I was still working at Accenture. Our partners were all quivering with anticipation for an offer for their shares and were getting ready to jump ship before everything went down the drain after an eventual acquisition
WTF?
"New isn't on it's way. We're applying it right now."
Not every day that I read on Slashdot to find out that Oracle is planning to buy the parent company I work for indirectly via subcontractor. This should be fun. :/
When you scuttle a fleet of ships, typically you lash them all together, so that there are less likely to be floaters: Deadweight pulls other deadweight down. It is nice to see the ships lashing themselves together here, so they can all sink faster.
Doubling down on the failure is a bold move. ;)
Anons need not reply. Questions end with a question mark.
The old comics are as relevant as ever. It's actually pretty funny to see how little has changed in the software consulting business.
http://exposingevilempire.com/...
RIP James Sanchez
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
Maybe when the FTC gets hold of this merger, it'll be approved solely on the merits of "job creation." Let me explain...
I've had the full experience of working for companies that hired Accenture and the other large management consulting firms over my career. Over the course of working with people, you get to talking. Almost every single client facing employee they have on-shore is a recent college graduate. These firms are structured very much like other professional services firms -- you need to be in them from the beginning of your career (unless they're hiring you for a limited skill set they can't offshore or teach to a new grad.) The consultancies want to get new hires before they've had a chance to learn any other company's "bad habits." As a result, they need a constant pipeline of fresh new college graduates, which could be touted as "job creation."
My experience has been that Accenture and the like has a crack team of partners who bring in their A-Team senior consultants to sell the dream to executives. Once the contract is signed, the partners and the A-Team are replaced with a C-Team full of Joe/Jane Average clones. One of the other reasons they hire recent grads is the fact that all of them fly to client sites, then fly home on weekends, for most of the year. The on-site people are solely responsible for project managing, presenting PowerPoints, and collecting requirements. Any actual work that needs to be done is sent to India or other cheap "delivery centers." So, it makes sense -- you have a guaranteed employment sink for new grads with business degrees, and can point to it as "saving domestic jobs."
One thing that would be strange is how Oracle would manage them. A funny thing I've heard from multiple Accenture employees is that there's an actual indoctrination session before they send you in front of clients. Because they're just getting raw graduates, absolutely everything is taught, such as how to dress, what language to use in front of customers, and a mini-MBA school. (I think this is why you see so many young-ish people in identical dark suits hanging out in airport lounges loudly discussing synergies on conference calls.) This would be an interesting clash with Oracle's sales culture, but it makes sense. They would have a ready resource to sell right along with their ERP software -- and there would be zero incentive whatsoever for Oracle to make the software implementable by end users. (This is SAP's MO by the way, Oracle is just stealing it.)
It's more likely they'll do a joint venture similar to Avanade, which is owned by Microsoft and Accenture. This has more or less worked. And, it's way less risky.
Oracle ruined Solaris, Sparc, and Java. I gladly welcome them to ruin Accenture. Accenture thoroughly exploits the developing world, with US based management who deserve third world income.
Anything that kills that giant lamprey is a net positive. Oracle certainly has demonstrated the ability so we can only hope that there is one less blood sucking parasite in the business world.