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Ask Slashdot: Share Your Security Review Tales

New submitter TreZ writes: If you write software, you are most likely subject to a "security review" at some point. A large portion of this is common sense like don't put plain text credentials into github, don't write your own encryption algorithms, etc. Once you get past that there is a "subjective" nature to these reviews.

What is the worst "you can't do" or "you must do" that you've been subjected to in a security review? A fictitious example would be: you must authenticate all clients with a client certificate, plus basic auth, plus MFA token. Tell your story here, omitting incriminating details.

198 comments

  1. Common Sense? by kalieaire · · Score: 0

    There's nothing more uncommon about common sense.

    1. Re:Common Sense? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's nothing more uncommon THAN common sense. FTFY.

      My favorite - You can never overestimate the stupidity of the general population.

    2. Re:Common Sense? by houstonbofh · · Score: 0

      There's nothing more uncommon about common sense.

      Apparently, acceptable grammar is quite rare as well.

    3. Re:Common Sense? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      grammarnazi

    4. Re:Common Sense? by kalieaire · · Score: 1

      yeah, thanks, i was like hmm. i can't delete or edit, someone will fix it for me. ;)

    5. Re:Common Sense? by Revek · · Score: 2

      Common Sense? A set of assumptions, usually false acquired before age 18.

    6. Re:Common Sense? by Hognoxious · · Score: 0

      Comma sense: what you don't have.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    7. Re: Common Sense? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What do you expect from someone with "BOFH" in their handle?

    8. Re:Common Sense? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Looking at your comment history and I'd agree.

    9. Re:Common Sense? by Quirkz · · Score: 2

      "Common sense" is just a term that means "agrees with what I already think."

    10. Re: Common Sense? by houstonbofh · · Score: 1

      Cattle prods, loading skiffs... But with Houston as well, probably a gun nut. ;)

    11. Re:Common Sense? by houstonbofh · · Score: 1

      Lol! Fair point!

  2. Would you please rephrase by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the question?

    1. Re:Would you please rephrase by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What if... that thing I said.

  3. Fooled ya! by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you write software, you are most likely subject to a "security review" at some point

    Wrong! My code has never been subjected to any such stupid security review.

    Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are mine, not my employer Equifax.

    Disclaimer to disclaimer: Nah! I'm not really working for Equifax

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
    1. Re:Fooled ya! by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 3, Funny

      Disclaimer to disclaimer: Nah! I'm not really working for Equifax

      We all know you're not working at Equifax. But do they pay well?

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
    2. Re:Fooled ya! by gweihir · · Score: 2

      Nice one! What musical instrument do you play?

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    3. Re:Fooled ya! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Disclaimer to disclaimer: Nah! I'm not really working for Equifax

      We all know you're not working at Equifax. But do they pay well?

      Much better than my previous band.

    4. Re:Fooled ya! by houstonbofh · · Score: 1

      Disclaimer to disclaimer: Nah! I'm not really working for Equifax

      We all know you're not working at Equifax. But do they pay well?

      No, but my credit report looks fantastic! Now...

    5. Re:Fooled ya! by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      Disclaimer to disclaimer to disclaimer: Not anymore.

    6. Re:Fooled ya! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, but I saved a bundle on my car insurance!

    7. Re:Fooled ya! by magarity · · Score: 2

      Nice one! What musical instrument do you play?

      Working at Equifax he must play a very, very small violin.

    8. Re:Fooled ya! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've heard you don't really need to be employed by Equifax to get their data.

    9. Re:Fooled ya! by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Not as well as the guy I sold the data... I mean, my new employer.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    10. Re:Fooled ya! by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Considering how long it took and how much is still surfacing, my money is on "not the whistle".

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  4. Anything the client won't pay for by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 1

    >> What is the worst "you can't do" or "you must do" that you've been subjected to in a security review?

    Anything the client didn't pay for. (Threats to suspend a very large support payment count as payment, however.) Likewise, whenever a customer wanted to pay extra for an MFA, SSO or other integration, we were all ears.

    Or were you looking for whining?

  5. "security review"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Huh? Is this a thing? Random closed-source projects' authors are being interrogated about how they coded their software? What is this? No background information whatsoever on what they're talking about?

    1. Re: "security review"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Some people work in teams for businesses. The business generally has an interest in not getting hacked, or at least creating the appearance that they won't get hacked.

      They get a security consultant who tells them they need to do regular security reviews.

      So they hire a security specialist who reviews many or all of their tasks in addition to the normal code reviews.

      The security specialist may be excellent or may say things like "You don't have to worry about SQL injection anymore. It's all about XSS these days."

    2. Re: "security review"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I have been a developer since about 1990 and I have been occasionally re-purposed to perform security reviews

      The first time was in 2000, we were a data center that was part of a fairly new fiber company.
      We were in a partnership with a large document management company and some open source organization.
      The website that we were hosting kept crashing and the PM responsible for it had lost the admin password.
      It ran on Oracle and I was able to use some default passwords and os level functionality in Oracle to grep the file system and identify the system passwords.
      Unsurprisingly, I found that they were using commonly known passwords that were present throughout their training materials
      When I asked if they could change the default passwords to new values, and rotate them regularly, the response was "No, we think that will break everything"

      This resulted in two things, I because the Unix security guru, and I got them kicked out of our datacenter.

      Similarly, one day our SAN admin noticed that DVD images were being stored on our SAN. We traced it back to another start-up that had been using TELNET to log into their box as root. Apparently this traffic had been sniffed out and our systems had been compromised. This resulted in a clean-room rebuild of all active systems and me being tasked with writing security policies to publish to our customers, follow them and be welcome, don't follow them and buh-bye...

      You may notice that this is all being done in a completely reactive manner since at that time, apparently, nobody in the fucking planet had a clue about how to build and admin a secure system.

      Since that time I have fought the "make a system where you can change the default passwords", "Keep your systems patched up the currently available level", "why the fuck are you passing strings to your database without scrubbing them", and "sure, that is what you think your firewall is doing, but it is not really doing that" battles over and over and over.

      They say that security starts at the code level, and you can really fuck yourself over by taking a poor approach, but most security problems are just plain piss-poor admin skills. IMHO

    3. Re:"security review"? by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      We have an external company that does penetration testing, which definitely find stuff we don't catch in code reviews.

    4. Re:"security review"? by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Since I sit on the other end (the receiving end of these jokes here), i.e. doing penetration tests, code reviews and general consultation in the area of IT security, I might be able to answer this.

      Usually we get called when someone either wants to or (more often) is legally or contractually obligated to perform security reviews of their code, their processes or their remotely accessible infrastructure, e.g. webservers. Then we throw everything (or not, depending on what they want) we have in our arsenal of security shit against their stuff and look what sticks.

      And in the end, we usually sit there with their managers and (far too rarely) with their developers and server admins to discuss what we found and how they could fix it.

      My guess is that this is about the ... let's say less palatable specimens of my business, the haughty security know-it-all who berates you like a little child for not knowing some esoteric once-in-a-blue-moon-possible race condition, the secretive "I-can't-tell-you-how-I-did-it" asshole who still demands that you fix what he won't tell you about, i.e. expects you to find the error yourself and of course the "my-way-or-the-highway" idiot who insists that his approach to solving a system is the only permissible one.

      But don't worry, assholes sit on both sides of the table. My favorite is the "but this is impossible" admin, refusing to accept that his configuration could even possibly have some flaw despite you just demonstrated it to him.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    5. Re: "security review"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Rotating passwords regularly breaks everything - at the very least, security.

      Rotating passwords don't make it safer. If I guess your password today, it is of no help that you changed it last week. The fact that you change passwords regularly means you are more likely to pick easy-to-remember passwords which are easy-to-guess passwords. Or you're writing them down somewhere, which is even easier for me.

    6. Re: "security review"? by kaatochacha · · Score: 1

      These aren't "oh, I'm a sys admin and need to log into this machine!" passwords, these are automated process passwords. They can be long and crazy difficult because you will never type them.
      My last job had a terrible time of this, people were always adding random jobs that did things using an admin password ( Instead of a proper account), then wondering why it exploded when we changed the admin password bi monthly.

    7. Re: "security review"? by sjames · · Score: 1

      Why are you even using passwords when public key authentication is a thing?

  6. Let the dirt surface! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I am on the other side and I can tell you that 90% of applications we review have at least one major issues and 20% of those do things in ways that were considered insecure 20 years ago, like storing passwords in clear text.

  7. Buffer Overruns by RoscoeChicken · · Score: 2

    Working for a semi-well known mesh networking company in Seattle, I was hired for DevOps because, despite 20+ years experience with C/C++, the gasseous CTO didn't believe I was qualified to do development. About a month into the job, I got called into a code review for one of the senior developers, and I quickly caught several buffer overruns on the "rookie mistake" level with strncpy overflowing the allocated space.

    Gotta wonder how many of those Mr. Senior Developer committed to the code base.

    1. Re:Buffer Overruns by pr0fessor · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You were hired for a lower paying position because they felt you weren't qualified enough for the position you applied and then had you doing it anyway for less pay because your title was still something else.

      This is standard practice.

    2. Re:Buffer Overruns by Seven+Spirals · · Score: 2

      Man, I had the exact same experience nearly. I was a n00b C coder in an embedded shop. I thought "These guys are veteran coders who can put me up on some real design patterns." Turned out that was mostly right, I met some badass C++ and TCL coders (the TCL guy was hyper-smart, he wrote a huge part of the ATC code still out there in a lot of airports). However, the place had two bosses (Bob) and one of them was a self-proclaimed "20-year veteran". He really had been coding in C for most of that time, but MY GOD HE SUCKED. His code was a full of unchecked bounds as one could conceive of. I couldn't bake in that many buffer overflow exploits or string format problems if I tried. He was asking me to fix a munged pointer that was giving him problems. I found the problem immediately, but realized his code was a goddamn mine field waiting to kill us all. I showed the other boss and he was like "*sigh* don't say anything to him or he will just freak out. I'll fix the problems you found quietly." That made realize why he sucked so much. While I was on IRC asking idiotic questions and getting the turds knocked out of me by the Aussies on the #c channel on Freenode, I was improving. It was painful, but that's what code reviews with smart people will do to ya. This guy had never once submitted to someone else's opinion. His code showed it!

    3. Re:Buffer Overruns by techno-vampire · · Score: 1

      ...with strncpy overflowing the allocated space.

      I'm impressed by that developer's skill, but not in a good way. That's exactly the kind of brain fart error strncpy is designed to prevent. I presume, then, that this developer never bothered to make sure that the destination string was large enough for the job, and I hope that his next performance review reflected his carelessness.

      --
      Good, inexpensive web hosting
    4. Re:Buffer Overruns by WaffleMonster · · Score: 1

      ...with strncpy overflowing the allocated space.

        I'm impressed by that developer's skill, but not in a good way. That's exactly the kind of brain fart error strncpy is designed to prevent. I presume, then, that this developer never bothered to make sure that the destination string was large enough for the job, and I hope that his next performance review reflected his carelessness.

      strncpy is defective by design. The carelessness comes from allowing code with it to ever be checked in.

      When I want to find bugs strncpy is one of the first things I look at exploiting. Very few understand null terminator is omitted on overflow.

    5. Re:Buffer Overruns by DrLlama · · Score: 1

      That's why you _always_ stuff a null-byte at the end of the buffer!

      --
      Who, me?
    6. Re:Buffer Overruns by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      strlcpy for the win!

    7. Re:Buffer Overruns by david_thornley · · Score: 1

      Unlike other strn- functions, strncpy is not just a bounds-checked strcpy. It write precisely the defined number of characters from the source to the destination, ignoring '\0' terminators. If there is no null terminator in the source within the specified number of characters, none goes into the destination, leading to buffer overflow vunerabilities.

      --
      "When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
  8. FBI subpoena by ahziem · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was a high-ranking official in the state department. The FBI sent me a subpoena for my private email server because I used it to discuss classified government business, so I had my IT guy wipe my private email server before I handed it over to the FBI. Later he was discovered on Reddit and confessed to the FBI, but I made sure they couldn't trace the decision back to me.

    1. Re:FBI subpoena by Major_Disorder · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was a high-ranking official in the state department. The FBI sent me a subpoena for my private email server because I used it to discuss classified government business, so I had my IT guy wipe my private email server before I handed it over to the FBI. Later he was discovered on Reddit and confessed to the FBI, but I made sure they couldn't trace the decision back to me.

      I bet you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

      --
      First law of people: People are generally stupid.
    2. Re:FBI subpoena by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Same issue, different party! I'm a pseudo-CISgender ambiguous fraud-of-all-trades-in-law working as an adviser, it's an easy job but the paperwork is just impossible. Who knows what I did last week, pura vida amirite? Anywho my hot wife convinced me to make a new email account on MS because the Mil.net doesn't allow emojis but then I kept getting spam from the Pentagon and Kislyak and all these serious dudes... who has time for that. I have to go solve the middle east problem now, l8s dudes

      ---x---3 Jareldine & Ivan K

    3. Re: FBI subpoena by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ha, ha, you're Hillaryous.

    4. Re:FBI subpoena by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

      Sometimes working for family just isn't a good idea. But at least you got to use your own email account for awhile.

    5. Re:FBI subpoena by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Good news, then... Turns out everyone is doing it!

      Fuckin' hypocrites.

    6. Re:FBI subpoena by darth+dickinson · · Score: 2

      I was a high-ranking official in the state department. The FBI sent me a subpoena for my private email server because I used it to discuss classified government business, so I had my IT guy wipe my private email server before I handed it over to the FBI. Later he was discovered on Reddit and confessed to the FBI, but I made sure they couldn't trace the decision back to me.

      Wipe? Like, with a cloth?

    7. Re: FBI subpoena by bestweasel · · Score: 1

      No man, don't you have a clue? The best experts on cyber say you gotta use bleach on the cloth or it leaves bits behind.

    8. Re:FBI subpoena by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You mean meddling Russians.

  9. User-directed code evaluation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You don't import and run code based on a file location passed in from the user. It is not, in and of itself, a complete hole. Because you should be in control of what files are available on the system. But if anyone succeeds at writing files to your system (or you forget that you intentionally allow them to: image uploads, etc.) then this security mistake completes the circle. Users can now write and run code on your server. This is severe enough that some portions of the circle should never be allowed into any app. I've had to reject things like this in code reviews before.

    1. Re: User-directed code evaluation by Monster_user · · Score: 1

      When does a user need to launch a specified path, when that user is not responsible for all of the code run on that OS instance?

      An educational environment?

      Or are we talking about low level IT staff working with a fudged together fix for something or other?

  10. I've been through a few... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Some good, some not so good. Mostly, if you want to be secure, you have a culture where that matters and efforts to improve security are rewarded. Most places reward the people who make short-term profits happen. You want to succeed in your career? Make insecure software that impresses management and move on to your next venture while on a high note. As your shit implodes on the suckers you left behind, blame them for the failure -- "see what happens when your rock star isn't there to keep things going?"

    1. Re:I've been through a few... by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Doesn't work if your CISO knows his shit. Ours would drag your ass out of your current project and give you the "fix that! NOW!" lecture. Not necessarily with more words but with more decibel.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  11. You MUST have anti-virus with current signatures! by gweihir · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This happened to a customer of us: They were told by an auditor that they absolute must have anti-virus on all machines, as per policy. Hence they built a tunnel into a completely isolated environment with absolutely no malware-vectors in order to be able to get updated AV signatures to the AV they installed on these machines. The really bad thing was that they did not seem to understand when we explained to them that they now did not have an isolated environment anymore and that the AV vendor as well as anybody successfully attacking the AV vendor could now attack them and export data at their leisure. What they should have done is to get an exception.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
  12. I'm an encryption researcher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm an encryption researcher... I'll write my own encryption algorithms if I damn well please.

    1. Re: I'm an encryption researcher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Where does one getting into this go? Every resource says not to try at all. Sounds defeatist

    2. Re: I'm an encryption researcher by Monster_user · · Score: 1

      I think the biggest issue is decryption. You have to be able to find a balance between encryption and decryption performance at the client level, and an impossibly high level of compute cycles required to decrypt the contents without the "key" to insert into the algorithm. I imagine it is also a good idea to secure the algorithm as well.

      Then there is also the matter of getting your clients to trust you regarding your algorithm and encryption technology, to not have a back door or exploit.

    3. Re:I'm an encryption researcher by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Why?

      I mean, yes, I can, but why would I? More, why would I trust a routine I wrote more than one that has, by its very nature, survived countless security reviews from countless security researchers and specialists?

      Your routine is as secure as you are. Commonly used ones are as secure as the security community can make them.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  13. Management is always totally clueless by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Never trust management. They oversimplify and are totally defenseless against hype.

    My five cents.

  14. No Physical Access by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    At my office, no one has physical access to their machines. They are all locked in shielded cabinets. We get a keyboard, mouse, and monitor. No access to USB, Network, or any other ports.

    No network connection by any means to the Internet, and no cell phones are allowed in the building, period.

    Place is pretty tight.

    1. Re:No Physical Access by FormOfActionBanana · · Score: 1

      That's actually really cool.

      --
      Take off every 'sig' !!
    2. Re:No Physical Access by CanHasDIY · · Score: 1

      you mean, no way for users to break the machine???

      Must be a sysadmin's wet dream!

      --
      An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
    3. Re:No Physical Access by davidwr · · Score: 1

      We get a keyboard, mouse, and monitor.

      BWUHAHAHAHA says the disgruntled soon-to-be-ex-employee who happens to have a photographic memory.

      --
      Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
    4. Re:No Physical Access by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Are you using Zero Clients? (i.e. Teradici PCoIP protocol, probably via VMware Horizon)? Because that stuff actually is pretty cool.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    5. Re:No Physical Access by Picodon · · Score: 1

      At my office, no one has physical access to their machines. They are all locked in shielded cabinets. We get a keyboard, mouse, and monitor. No access to USB, Network, or any other ports.

      No network connection by any means to the Internet, and no cell phones are allowed in the building, period.

      Place is pretty tight.

      Don’t worry, next year, you’ll finally make it out of kindergarten.

    6. Re: No Physical Access by Monster_user · · Score: 1

      Eh. Not really.

      But pair it up with a virtualization cluster and some kind of State Saving software like "Deep Freeze", or snapshots of OS which can be applied to cloned VMs to deploy updates and virus definitions overnight, and/or reverted to nightly, and you've got a wicked system for users to not screw up.

    7. Re: No Physical Access by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I bet if you open up your mouse or keyboard you'll find a way to connect USB.

    8. Re:No Physical Access by Doctor+Memory · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but do the cables run through pressurized conduit with pressure monitors on each one that signals a security alert if the pressure drops? If not, then you may as well be housing your servers on a rock in Central Park. </sarcasm>

      --
      Just junk food for thought...
  15. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 2

    I'm not sure there is such a thing as a completely isolated environment anymore. There are too many air-gap bridging attacks. (See also Stuxnet).

    Now, those attacks require far more work than the anti-virus vector. And it's not likely to be used. But it should be expected that something valuable enough (to a nation state) will be breached.

    --
    Your ad here. Ask me how!
  16. Make sure 4096 bits is 4096 bits by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I worked for a startup as a contractor, and they were readying a security product to hit the market. It used public and private keys. Instead of generating and using a 4096 bit key (for securing files), it used sixty-four, 64-bit RSA keys. The reason for this is that the CEO wanted the ability to decode stuff in case a customer locked themselves out.

    1. Re:Make sure 4096 bits is 4096 bits by FormOfActionBanana · · Score: 1

      How did that CEO die, and was it horribly?

      --
      Take off every 'sig' !!
    2. Re:Make sure 4096 bits is 4096 bits by Revek · · Score: 1

      He didn't die. He got a bonus and a photo shoot after he cashed out and left the company to die. He then went on to marry a super model and spends his time promoting his ghost written book about how to get rich and never take responsiblity for anything you do wrong.

    3. Re:Make sure 4096 bits is 4096 bits by operagost · · Score: 1

      Sounds like a great candidate for POTUS.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    4. Re:Make sure 4096 bits is 4096 bits by 110010001000 · · Score: 2

      So basically I should start using 64-bit keys.

  17. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If they were originally able to install AV then it wasn't a completely isolated environment. They were right to update the signatures. Physical media would have been better, but an exception would have been worse.

  18. Worst and Best by Murdoch5 · · Score: 1

    Worst:

    I use to work for a company, about a year ago, where no one had even the most basic concept of data security. During my time there I implemented MFA on all Servers, programmed in Data Encryption, Data Validation, Client Verification, DB Security and other such improvements. Well, I was showing the three other existing employees how the software worked and how the new infrastructure worked, they didn't like that it was now "hard" to log into the servers and that they would now have to use password and keys to access Data. They told me to revert to how it was before, as they knew better then I did, so I quit. The software product they're developing, without a developer (they still don't have one), is an iSCSI based Desktop Protection System, but it's so riddled with holes and such a massive lack of security that they're committing fraud by selling what they have as a security solution.

    Best:

    1. Re:Worst and Best by Murdoch5 · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Worst:

      I use to work for a company, about a year ago, where no one had even the most basic concept of data security. During my time there I implemented MFA on all Servers, programmed in Data Encryption, Data Validation, Client Verification, DB Security and other such improvements. Well, I was showing the three other existing employees how the software worked and how the new infrastructure worked, they didn't like that it was now "hard" to log into the servers and that they would now have to use password and keys to access Data. They told me to revert to how it was before, as they knew better then I did, so I quit. They reverted all my changes and claim it's now more secure and better!

      The software product they're developing, without a developer (they still don't have one), is an iSCSI based Desktop Protection System, but it's so riddled with holes and such a massive lack of security that they're committing fraud by selling what they have as a security solution.

      Best:

      The best security I've ever seen and been involved with developing had multilayer client authentication, certificate binding, transaction queue verification. It had a routine that went through the software and tweaked it's ports and accesses. Every piece of data was run through an AES-192-GCM based function that signed all the transactions and messages. The infrastructure this software was running on was just as impressive, ever server had at least 3FA+ turned on for logging in, active port based monitoring, which used MongoDB Clusters to validate logins, clients and pretty much everything you could imagine.

    2. Re:Worst and Best by Krishnoid · · Score: 1

      Pfft. We all know the best scenario you described was just you dropping ecstasy one night a couple weeks before you quit. Maybe peyote.

    3. Re:Worst and Best by Murdoch5 · · Score: 1

      HA! I wish, but in reality no.

  19. Re:Physical security... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Informative

    There you are spamming amazon affiliate links with yet another fake account, you revenue stream hogging disgusting fat sexist tube of lard, Christopher Dale Reimer!

    You can be sure I will be watching this fake account too. I know this is you because you told me you were working on your freepass 11 file server and you are so dumb that you can't even masquerade yourself properly.

    Now, I told you I was out of meds last week and you didn't even care to contact me you lazy fucker.

    How many times do I have to express the emergency of the situation??????

    The python click script you wrote for my pheromone revenue stream web site suddenly stopped to work!!!!!!

    You fucking incompetent python script writer!!!

    When it works, I get 4000+ clicks a day on my pheromone revenue stream web site but only 5 or 6 without it!!!!

    Now, it seems like you dont care and that you have abandoned me you heartless fucking pig!

    Bonus:
    Here is a story that creimer told me when convincing me what a hard life he had:

    The tree was him and the tree knot was his butt hole!

    So, his uncle packed his fat ass with lard and with his cock! Not that it makes much of a difference but anyway, there it is!

    Signed:
    The girl that used to love you and now hates you, burn in hell where you belong you sexist pig!

  20. The security review was nothing like I expected. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some software I was involved with developing had to undergo a security review. Little did I realize how unprepared for this event I was!

    It started off relatively benignly. I was sitting in one of the conference rooms, waiting for the external security consultant to come in. He arrived a minute or two after I had arrived.

    "Hello.", he started off. "I'm Steve and today we'll be performing a security review of the software you and your team have developed." He opened his laptop and started loading up the source code we'd provided to him earlier. He didn't even bother with any sort of friendly small talk.

    "So I see you chose C++." he said after a minute or so of looking at the code.

    "Yes, C++14.", I confirmed.

    "Unacceptable.", he stated without hesitation.

    I was slightly taken aback. "Pardon?", I asked.

    "C++ is unacceptable.", he stated.

    "We're using modern C++ techniques, including smart pointers and RAII. We also run our code through several static and dynamic analysis tools.", I explained.

    "C++ is unacceptable.", he repeated.

    We sat in silence for a couple of minutes as he continued to scroll through the code.

    "Why didn't you use Rust?", he finally asked.

    "Rust?", I replied. "We started this project before Rust 1.0 had been released. Plus our team is more familiar with C++."

    "C++ is unacceptable.", he repeated once again.

    He was starting to get agitated. "Why the fuck didn't you use Rust?!" he asked once more.

    "I just explained why.", I responded.

    "Don't you give a fuck about guaranteed memory safety? Don't you give a fuck about threads without data races?", he asked loudly.

    "Well, yes, I do care about such things. But we can achieve those by using modern C++ sensibly."

    As expected, he replied "C++ is unacceptable. C++ is fucking unacceptable."

    I wasn't really sure what to do at this point. Clearly he didn't think C++ was an acceptable language to use.

    My pondering was cut short. He abruptly started screaming, "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU USE RUST?! DON'T YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ZERO-COST ABSTRACTIONS?!"

    "C++ usually has zero-cost abstractions.", I pointed out.

    This sent him over the edge. His face started getting a very deep red color, and I could see he was getting extraordinarily angry. "C++ IS UNACCEPTABLE! C++ IS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU HAVE TO USE RUST! RUST IS THE ONLY PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE THAT RUNS BLAZINGLY FAST, PREVENTS SEGFAULTS, AND GUARANTEES THREAD SAFETY!"

    At this point I was starting to fear for my safety. I had read comments from Rust fanatics online, at places like Hacker News and Stack Overflow. But I had never expected these Rust advocates to be as egregiously agitated as this security consultant was.

    Noticing that the door to the conference room was slightly open, and thankful that I was sitting closer to the door than the consultant was, I made a dash for freedom. I slipped through the door, and immediately started running toward my manager's office.

    All the way I could hear the consultant screaming, "C++ IS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU NEED TO USE RUST BECAUSE IT HAS TRAIT-BASED GENERICS AND PATTERN MATCHING!"

    I quickly explained the situation to my manager, who was wondering what all of the yelling was about. He quickly dialed the office building's security team, but they must have been alerted beforehand by somebody else, because the consultant's yelling abruptly stopped mid-way through a rant about the importance of move semantics.

    To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what happened in the end. I assume the security consultant was promptly removed from the building. As for the security review of our software, I haven't heard about having to do any additional ones. Perhaps management realized that there were better uses for our time than listening to some lunatic berate us for using C++ instead of Rust.

  21. I'm one of them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm a sysadmin at a hospital, and there is an endless stream of new applications "needed" by some department to be configured, tested and installed.
    Two weeks ago, in September, I'm checking out a new web app from a vendor that we need to roll out. The first thing I do is launch it http while running wireshark, and sure enough, there's the plaintext logon and password headed out onto the Internet.
    Oh, and the server for this web app didn't accept https connections. wtf? Need I mention the app handles HIPPA protected information?
    Fortunately our management is the good guys and this either gets fixed or stomped on.

    1. Re: I'm one of them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why not name the app so we all know? Knowledge is power. Knowing is half the battle.

    2. Re: I'm one of them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      HIPAA

    3. Re: I'm one of them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      HIPAA*

      Ahhhh! I'm the AC that typed in HIPPA instead of HIPAA. I am red-faced with shame.
      This is the most embarrassing typo that I have done this afternoon.

  22. Re: On my APK Hosts File Engine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Did you run this psychotic stream of consciousness through an obfuscator of some sort?

  23. Funny incident, not really security review by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 3, Interesting
    I needed a long string to test some of my encryption decryption code. Some local test string for debugging and testing. It was just after 9/11. Naturally I wrote a long rant against Osama Bin Laden and used that as the test string. Encrypted, decrypted, round tripped, compared the strings, checked in the code. But forgot to #ifdef out the testing code.

    Some nosyparker busybody customer did a "strings" on our product and found the string and ratted out to our CTO. Nothing serious happened, just a slap on the wrist. But another colleague told me the same customer found the full "man from nantucket" in his test strings for the stringutil library he wrote. And another said that customer also found the "Fuck! Got null pointer again!" in his code.

    We think he was looking for some kind of debug switches and env settings that will disable license check.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
    1. Re:Funny incident, not really security review by rew · · Score: 1

      A long time ago, I needed to develop something on an FPGA from Xilinx. Told them we needed the sofware to work by then-and-then (weeks in advance) and weeks past said date we still didn't have anything. So after some angry phone calls they agreed to send us a licence for the software on a Unix server for the time until our PC dongle would arrive. They planned a day overlap between our dongle arriving and the end of the unix-workstation-licence. With a week additional delay in the dongle I suddenly had nothing to do for a day except stare at the binary for the Xilinx software... Somehow the disk developed a few bit-errors. A couple of NOP instructions materialized where function calls used to be. The dongle was shoved in a closet when it finally came.

  24. Nasty incident at an automation software hut by Seven+Spirals · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I was summoned by a contract firm to a 500 person company that had been a victim of an inside job. They wanted a security review and fixes for "whatever that guy did". Turns out the guy was a half-assed developer. The client had spotty and in some cases non-existent backups. They wanted to pass a SOX audit (hahahaha!) while 20-30 machines were completely pwned and backdoored. He'd used everything from sub7 to more modern remote access & control tools. Some of the tools looked like ones he'd cobbled together himself from other tools. He'd also got in and falsified and buried a bunch of code hacks in their version control repo. Luckily, I was able to get that off tape and they only lost about a MONTH of code/work. The FBI got involved because the guy was out of state. I spent about 3 weeks gathering evidence and rebuilding servers, routers, print-servers, and other devices he'd hacked or otherwise tainted. My fees amounted to around $30k. A federal DA charged him with about 10 different hacking related and felony vandalism charges. After a pretty short trial (no jury) he was found guilty and he's still in the same federal prison in Louisiana. He actually has a cell near Bernie Ebbers. I had to talk to him once while he was in prison to get some passwords. The whole thing was surreal. Now get this, on the SOX audit? They passed! They got dinged for the hack but they still passed even before I was done cleaning up. That's when I realized that CISSP/SOX/GLBA/PCI security and *actual* IT security aren't always aligned. Audit all you like, but ... "stay frosty and alert. You can't afford to let one of those bastards in here."

    1. Re:Nasty incident at an automation software hut by operagost · · Score: 1

      $30K for 3 weeks? Sounds like a challenging but satisfying gig. Not sure I'd want more than one like that, though.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    2. Re:Nasty incident at an automation software hut by Seven+Spirals · · Score: 1

      It was the most I'd ever made (and still is, honestly) before. I actually didn't want the job but this contracting firm was really desperate to find someone with actual "hacking" experience. I had previously had a job through them developing a test framework for network intrusion detection appliances. In many cases I was simply permuting already existing hacking/DDoS tools to try and evade detection or blind the NIDS sensors. Unfortunately, the test harness turned out to be a little too effective (the client was so disgusted with overall performance they put off the buying decision). Granted that was around 2006 things are MUCH better now. However, that apparently gave me the street cred. So, I told him $400/hr since it was two hours from my house etc... They didn't even bat an eyelash and agreed immediately. I was a bit shocked and left with further questions like "How much are *these* guys charging them?!?"

    3. Re:Nasty incident at an automation software hut by sad_ · · Score: 1

      Now get this, on the SOX audit? They passed! They got dinged for the hack but they still passed even before I was done cleaning up. That's when I realized that CISSP/SOX/GLBA/PCI security and *actual* IT security aren't always aligned.

      an audit is nothing more then just checking off a few boxes. are you doing this, are you doing that. yes? then everything is fine. how you actually do it doesn't matter.

      --
      On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
  25. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by davidwr · · Score: 1

    I'm not sure there is such a thing as a completely isolated environment anymore. There are too many air-gap bridging attacks. (See also Stuxnet).

    In practical terms, an isolated environment is one where the only way anything gets into the system is by a human being manually entering it, and the only way anything gets out by what a human being carries away with him either in his head or in his pocket/breifcase/other.

    I would count a system that has a keyboard or mouse for input, a video screen, printer, and maybe a "write only" media-writing tool (see below) that is in a room where electronic- or even look-at-the-screen-through-the-window eavesdropping or jamming is either impractical or not a concern to to meet these requirements.

    More common would be "one way isolation" where the system was closed to input except from a human, but it's output was no secret. For example, my microwave oven's firmware cannot be changed without replacing hardware. But I can provide input to it through the keyboard and I can change its "state" by putting different kinds of food or other objects inside it or by varying the electrical input on the 120V line input. If I pretend it's plugged into an isolated off-the-grid power supply and the whole thing is in an access-controlled building, it's now a closed system as far as input is concerned, but the output - energy to the food and a small but detectable leakage of microwave energy into the environment, as well as detectable changes in the power supply system - is not closed.

    I expect that such embedded systems which are, in practical terms, isolated as far as input is concerned, are much more common than you might think.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  26. but nobody knows the URL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Worked at a gobal news wire agency decades ago. Reporters would write stories that would be broadcast real time to stock traders. Reporters normally wrote stories from their work machines on corpnet. There was a "secret" URL where anyone could post a story, and the world would read it. The page was "protected" with a password, which was of course the name of the company.

    I explained to management that anyone could write "US president shot!" as a story, short the dollar, and make millions as the stock market reacted. They responded with "but nobody knows the URL".

    Company went under a few years later.

  27. Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing... by davidwr · · Score: 1

    You are telling me that the staff member who was running the meeting or the senior staff member in the room didn't intervene as soon as he started acting unprofessionally?

    Being anti-RUST or whatever I can see. Being closed-minded to the point of being useless as a consultant I can see. But an invited outsider who gets unprofessional in a meeting should be reminded to be professional and/or removed before things get out of hand.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  28. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by crtreece · · Score: 1

    *WHOOOOOOOOSH*

    --
    file: .signature not found
  29. Re:Physical security... by IAteFatCashews · · Score: 0

    Chris, there is a typo in your fake user name. It should be IAteFatCashews because you sure ate a lot of them when we gave some to you. Too bad you can't afford them by yourself.

    1) I'm not Chris. 2) No typo in name and all names are fake. 3) Fuck off, bitch.

  30. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Perhaps you've seen his other works of dramatic IT fiction, BOFH?

  31. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sounds like semi-automatic garbage collection happened here...

  32. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    BOFH would have distracted him with some code, smashed in their skull with a bulk tape eraser, hidden the body under the raised floor and submitted a report about passing the review with flying colors...

    Just sayin

  33. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by Revek · · Score: 1

    BOFH would have asked him to plug in the waffle iron.

  34. Credit Card Information by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

    Years ago, I was making a website for a company that shall remain nameless. They wanted an online ordering system built. No problem. I can do that. Then, they told me they wanted the order information to not be saved into a database, but e-mailed to them. I pushed back as much as I could, but finally had to build it for them. (It's complicated as to why I couldn't just say "I refuse" and walk away. Trust me, had it been up to me, I would have.)

    A few years later, they came to me saying they had a complaint from a user who discovered that their full credit card information was being e-mailed insecurely. In my head, I shouted "I TOLD YOU SO" while outwardly I pitched a database-based system that they finally agreed to.

    --
    My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    1. Re:Credit Card Information by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you allowed this information to be sent in clear text e-mail and implemented it this way for the client. You're an idiot.

      At minimum you should be using PGP for something like this.

    2. Re:Credit Card Information by Krishnoid · · Score: 1

      So ... you got paid twice?

  35. Oh jesus fuck another cdreimer account by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There are literally no rules on this site anymore.

    We might as well start posting blingees of our privates and let it devolve into myspace.

    1. Re:Oh jesus fuck another cdreimer account by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This isn't a cdreimer account. This is another AC account. And the AC who suggested this I[*]FatCashews account should get shot.

    2. Re:Oh jesus fuck another cdreimer account by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There are literally no rules on this site anymore.

      This isn't the Boy Scouts. No one is honor bound to follow the rules.

      We might as well start posting blingees of our privates and let it devolve into myspace.

      NO MORE DICK PICS!

    3. Re:Oh jesus fuck another cdreimer account by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't really fault someone for trying to help chris, 90% of the annoying shit he does probably seems ok to him. It says it all right here "the everyday reality that he finds weird, twisted and absurd for which most people accept as being perfectly normal."

      So of course it seems to him that every website is infested with troll groups who come out of the woodwork to hound him. When really he's just annoying and people want him to change his behavior or go away. I'm sure not a year of his life has gone by that someone hasn't felt bad for him and tried to help him so this chance won't change anything either.
      I'm no shrink but he really needs more than a few minutes of heart to hearts, he needs regular behavioral counseling and daily goals, he could sign up for all of this shit himself but he won't... can you imagine how different his life would have been if he'd done it back when he was the beardy goon in the slashdot shirt in 2006? He'd probably be making 3x what he is right now. It's really fucking sad.

      It's sad but it's also not our fucking problem.. CDREIMER GO FUCK OFF TO FARK

  36. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If it's a joke, it's a shitty one.

    If it's an implausible story, it's an implausible one. So... good job.

  37. Re: On my APK Hosts File Engine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Go jack off to timecube, sir. We've got the situation here under control.

  38. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This didn't happen. But nice story anyway...

  39. Here we go.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I make crypto primitives in hardware. It's my job to do these right, so others can use them. The company review process has a bunch of questions like this:

    Do you have an X? (where X might be one of the things I make).
    If Yes, are you using the company standard X building block?
    If not, you fail, come to a meeting and be raked over the coals.

    Since I'm building the building blocks referenced, the answers are Yes and No respectively. So then there's always a meeting called by the review tools. I turn up, the reviewers turn up, they say "Oh it's you" and we all leave again.

    1. Re:Here we go.. by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Process management fail.

      Second question should be "If Yes, are you using the company standard X building block OR is your job to redesign the standard X building block?"

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    2. Re:Here we go.. by kaatochacha · · Score: 1

      But then nobody gets the free meeting Panera takeout lunch...

  40. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

    His face started getting a very deep red color

    Like rust?

    --

    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  41. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Whoooooooooooooosh

  42. Re: The security review was nothing like I expecte by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Whoooooooosh.

    You rust fanboys are adorable. Simple child.

  43. False Positives by darkain · · Score: 2

    False Positives during automated audit tools is my own personal hell. PCI Compliance demands these audits be ran every quarter. And every quarter, our Windows 2012r2 server which is only used for a couple of people to work remotely fails the audit. Which test does it fail? The audit claims it is vulnerable to a Windows NT4 terminal services exploit. The exploits have long been patched by Microsoft, plus the effected cyphers have also long been disabled. Yet every single goddamn quarter, we fail the audit, and it is usually a month long battle with one-way messaging to the audit company to let them know their still a bunch of morons. And guess what? The quarter just started this week!

    1. Re:False Positives by WaffleMonster · · Score: 1

      False Positives during automated audit tools is my own personal hell. PCI Compliance demands these audits be ran every quarter. And every quarter, our Windows 2012r2 server which is only used for a couple of people to work remotely fails the audit. Which test does it fail? The audit claims it is vulnerable to a Windows NT4 terminal services exploit. The exploits have long been patched by Microsoft, plus the effected cyphers have also long been disabled. Yet every single goddamn quarter, we fail the audit, and it is usually a month long battle with one-way messaging to the audit company to let them know their still a bunch of morons. And guess what? The quarter just started this week!

      I look at people who post things like this and I'm thinking to myself is there only one company on the planet selling automated audit services?

      Which is worse? A company raking in $$$ for being extraordinarily lazy and getting away with failing to address even known obvious shortcomings... or paying "a bunch of morons"?

    2. Re:False Positives by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who is more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?

      ("It is better to talk nonsense than to listen to it." is more cutting, but addresses not quite the question that you asked.)

    3. Re:False Positives by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That was pretty much my thoughts too. They know the company doing the audits aren't doing a proper job and it is causing them ongoing issues yet they continue to use them quarter after quarter. personally I would say the fail here is the company hiring them not the auditors as they are obviously raking in money without having to do real work, gratz to them.

    4. Re:False Positives by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Invite your CISO to a meeting. Tell him about this problem, explain to him that the exploitable ciphers are not used by your company (bring proof!) and that the automated test needs to be remodeled to fit your case.

      It's likely that your CISO doesn't even know about it, and he's the only one that can sensibly end this madness.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    5. Re:False Positives by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      A tool is only as good as the people using it and an automated tool is only as good as its configuration is valid. The GPs problem is one of faulty configuration, and he's not the one who could (or should) change it.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    6. Re:False Positives by darkain · · Score: 1

      Auditing is done by an outside company that is associated with the payment processor. Every single quarter I remind them that their testing suite is broken, and exact details as to why and how. They've yet to do anything about it. Not much else can be done at this point. If I had the choice to switch payment providers to one with sensible testing, I would, but that's not my call sadly.

    7. Re:False Positives by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      You cannot but the CISO can or at the very least he can put it on the table the next time the C-Levels meet and discuss why the audit failed. This will also probably not result in you switching payment providers, but at the very least it will move the problem out of your hands.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  44. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Nobody else found this to be funny?! ROFL!!! One of the funniest things I've read on /. in a while (well-written, too)! At first, I was like, holy shit, this is a hardcore reviewer...

  45. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by gweihir · · Score: 1

    This one was. Sorry cannot get into details.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
  46. Re: On my APK Hosts File Engine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I see your simian brain is projecting your own issues again also.

  47. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by gweihir · · Score: 1

    Actually, they had to put the tunnel in first for that, and, just as a hint, that required drilling an armored and shielded wall. The exception would have been exactly the right thing to do.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
  48. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The only people to whom this post would not have been obviously a joke are probably working in government IT. They're probably scratching their heads as to how you're still employed.

  49. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Most insightful Slashdot comment of the week.

  50. Encryption everywhere by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    - Passwords must be encrypted with a reversible algorithm "for audit purposes"

    - You must encrypt the entire database to protect user data while allowing the server to be able to run autonomous without user interaction in case of reboot.

    - You must allow Windows XP pre SP1 compatible ciphers in your SSL settings.

    1. Re:Encryption everywhere by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Wow. Just wow.

      Who did these bullshit requirements come from?

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  51. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by phantomfive · · Score: 1

    Should have built your own open source anti-virus as a 'side' project. It could scan for a few signatures or something. It doesn't even have to work, that's not a requirement for anti-virus: all you need is a website that looks really snazzy.

    No one buys anti-virus because it works, they buy it because of marketing.

    --
    "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
  52. What is it you'd say you do here? by the_skywise · · Score: 1

    So we had a third party audit team come in to insure we were in compliance with appropriate security regulations.
    My app is essentially a scripting service internally to make it easier to connect various functions together. We don't generate data, we only take data from inputs or pull from encrypted databases (if it's sensitive data) and we only store working data for as long as the script runs. We're a web service so we use SSL for all communications and any temp storage is stored in an encrypted state too except for things related to script processing (running state, launcher process, etc) which should never have sensitive data in it to begin with.
    So we explain this to the audit crew which is obviously used to one way systems (data being generated or data being stored - not a dynamic system that generates actions on the fly) and the first thing they ask is - "How are you guaranteeing that sensitive data is being encrypted?"
    "We're encrypting it all...?"
    "But how do you know when you're getting information like credit card numbers?"
    "We don't. Data is handed to us and we process it and return the results."
    "But how do you know it's secure?"
    "Because we encrypt it on the input and output pipes and store it encrypted on any external systems which are also on SSL pipes. Internally we don't decrypt until the data is needed and no process data is logged aside from metadata of the state."

    "But how can you guarantee it's secure?"

    1. Re:What is it you'd say you do here? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "i just did."

  53. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by davidwr · · Score: 1

    I'll admit, I fell for it. Between the rare-but-not-unheard-of cases of previously-rational people "going off the rails" and corporate-types being too polite to shut down a meeting once someone drops the f-bomb, it had just enough plausibility to get past my "this has to be a joke" filter.

    All in all though, I'd much rather fall for this joke than have it be real.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  54. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ok, I'll retract my statement and agree with you.

  55. The Binder of Doom by rjh · · Score: 5, Interesting

    In 1999 I was hired by a Midwestern telco -- in the interests of not getting sued I won't say which: I'll just say their market cap used to be in the billions and now you could buy them with the lint in your pocket -- to do security remediation on their billing system. I spent weeks poring over architectural diagrams, going through source code, examining protocols. After a while I realized I had some really scary information, so I asked my manager for a safe.

    "Just put it all in a binder," she said. "We trust you to keep an eye on it."

    The Binder of Doom was a nondescript black binder about three inches thick. It had no cover page and no markings: I didn't want anyone to realize the secrets that were in it. I carried it around with me everywhere. I slept with it in bed with me. That's how terrified I was these secrets would come out.

    Then the Binder of Doom got worse. Having completed my survey, I now devised attacks on the system. I found ways enterprising individuals could fleece the company out of truly mind-boggling sums, and how difficult it would be to detect these attacks with the then-current security infrastructure. By the end of six months the Binder of Doom was stuffed to bursting and I was giving serious thought to filing for a concealed-carry permit. I wondered if the sheriff's department would understand if I told them I was routinely carrying around a binder with a *conservative* worth to a criminal syndicate of $100 million.

    I went back to my manager. I told her I was done. It was time to remediate the risks. "Oh, excellent," she told me, "because we just ran out of money for the remediation."

    Uh. What?

    "Management has decided the main risk is in unsecured communications links, so just ensure we're using PGP on everything and we'll call it good."

    I asked if she wanted the Binder of Doom.

    "No, you hold onto it for a while."

    So I became increasingly disgruntled, bitter, and sarcastic. I told everyone I worked with that I'd been retasked to "secure" our network using PGP -- and even old-school PGP 2.6, not GnuPG (which had just reached 1.0), either -- and oh God this is awful and if this company lasts another year it'll be a miracle and...

    I was shortly thereafter cashiered for having a toxic attitude towards work. I walked into the parking lot, got into my car, and tossed the Binder of Doom into the passenger seat. As I drove away I realized something was horribly wrong, but didn't realize what until I was pulling out of the lot:

    I HAD THE BINDER OF DOOM IN MY PASSENGER SEAT.

    I returned to the office and tried to walk inside, but was met by an HR rep at the door who told me if I didn't leave they'd call the police and file a trespass charge. I held up the Binder of Doom to the HR rep. "Do you want this back?" I asked.

    "No," she told me clearly. "Keep it. We just want you to leave."

    I turned around, gobsmacked, and left the company holding detailed plans for how to embezzle $100 million or more... which the company had just thoughtfully delivered into the hands of a disgruntled former employee.

    (And if you're wondering what I did with the Binder of Doom, it sat on my bookshelf for a few days tempting me before I threw it into an incinerator and threw the ashes into a strong wind.)

    1. Re:The Binder of Doom by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 1
      I guess you escaped easy.

      If anyone stole any significant amount of money from that telco, you would be the prime suspect. Assuming they can know when significant sums of money was stolen...

      --
      sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
    2. Re:The Binder of Doom by johannesg · · Score: 1

      It's good that there are still people that are willing to do the right thing, and not fall for the temptation to embezzle those hundreds of millions nudge nudge wink wink ;-)

    3. Re:The Binder of Doom by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You should have given the binder to Milton Waddams. He would have know what to do with it.

  56. Scan Platform & Source, then do Fuzzing by BobC · · Score: 2

    Most folks, including many so-called "experts", lack both the knowledge and ability to do anything close to a "real" security check. So the best route is to rely on "canned" testing that has been created and is maintained by a reputable group.

    First, scan the platform (with the application installed) for known vulnerabilities, including updates, configuration (CVRs, STIGs), rootkits and antivirus.

    Second, scan the source code with all available static analysis tools. Start with lint, then do as many more as you can afford.

    Third, do as much run-time testing as the schedule permits, being sure to do not only functional testing, but also fuzzing at all levels.

    Do the above using Free/Open tools, but also be sure to check out commercial tools. Yes, some tools are very much worth paying for.

    That will get you 99% of the way there, with minimal time and effort invested.

    1. Re:Scan Platform & Source, then do Fuzzing by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Hey! I sell that knowledge! Would you kindly shut up? :)

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  57. corplife by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    > "The client requires you install Drupal because Linux is too insecure"

    ... I still don't even know how to finish this thought.

    The CIO's "policy is two factor authentication -- all APIs require a username and password"

    "Use TLS for all connections (including to 127.0.0.1)"... what?

    1. Re:corplife by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      The CIO's "policy is two factor authentication -- all APIs require a username and password"

      I guess that's the IT version of "we have both kinds of music - country AND western".

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  58. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wow, someone is still taking this seriously???

    Good job you earned yourself a "WOOOOOSH".

  59. Triple X? Nope, try 8! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hard coded passwords in the code. The passwords are all the same and set to 'XXXXXXXX'. The reasoning behind this decision was that any malfeasant would see the passwords as Xes and decide that those were just placeholders.

    It's okay though, because those passwords didn't control access to anything sensitive, just records of all the business that the company had done which was used for billing and maybe a million people's credit card information.

    Fortunately, that was 17 years ago so I can at least pretend that that stuff's been fixed.

  60. First and last review by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    A different group was working a new product. Software does nothing terribly exotic yet quite expansive. Data driven jobber managing about two thousand tables. Mostly boring busywork.

    Tried to talk some sense and give advice early on in the process yet they just took off coding each bit at a time with no strategy to produce a maintainable product or manage the accumulation of complexity. It seems the lead couldn't get image of me as punk kid who doesn't know jack out of his head no matter how diplomatic I tried to be. This guy wears Einstein shirts to work and quantum physics is assured to come up in any conversation lasting more than 10 minutes.

    From the brain-dead workflow alone and insane amount of cut and paste work being checked into version control it was obvious early on what the likely outcome would be.

    8 months go by and the team declares software ready for production use. QA quickly signs off on it. After getting over shock of QA signoff I get down to doing QA's job for them. In the span of an hour logged over 20 critical show stoppers most of them security related. Things only get progressively worse from there. When all was said and done nothing they did was even worth salvaging and they all would be shown the door within a months time.

    To provide some context forget about things like coherent use of cryptography, strong authentication or anything more than a rudimentary access control scheme. Redress, CSRF, secure flags, DOS/brute force mitigation... none of it even in scope for this project.

    I quickly discovered how to invoke the setup configuration without any authentication, steal credentials and overwrite any file I wanted on the server. Then I discovered how to bypass authentication altogether to access anything. Next comes torrents of XSS/SQLi and security bypass of the basic as hell access control system they haphazardly implemented.

    From the angry tones impossible not to overhear some of the people on that team hated me after that interpreting what I did as an attack on them personally. While I did try early on to explain better approaches I quickly gave up. Mostly for personality reasons... Mr Einstein's personality was so over the top I really lost interest and had plenty of my own work to get done.

    My takeaway from the ordeal is a reinforcement of simple or die principal. If a domain is so difficult that it is helped by manual reviews of others then you have already failed long before a single line of code was ever written.

    If the team had listened and approached the problem in a more aspect oriented manner virtually ALL of the security problems in this admittedly trivial piece of software would either have not been POSSIBLE or worst case globally addressable. The only path to success the only possible path available in my view is designing systems in a manner where failure is extraordinarily difficult to achieve.

    Success requires more thinking than typing and more planning than modern day code mill optimized methodologies allow.

  61. Should have had security review by imidan · · Score: 2

    I worked at a place where we had a lot of disk (~2TB) with data that were accessible to the public. We also had a web site in place where users could upload new data, which would then be vetted by staff and then published to the public. This was all okay.

    The bad part starts when we hired a new guy who, among other duties, wound up redoing the upload interface. So he redesigns and implements the system. I wasn't part of that process, and I wasn't paying any attention to how he was doing it. Later on, he quit, and his codebase was passed to me to maintain. That's when I started looking at the code and discovered that he had implemented a server-side API for uploading data that required no credentials whatsoever--he had set up a password authentication on the web front-end, but the API itself was open to the world. Oh, and the new API also stored uploaded data directly in the publicly accessible disk space. Any rando on the Internet who discovered this API would be able to upload hundreds of GB of whatever porn and warez they wanted, and just pass the URLs out freely. This code had been running in production for months.

    Luckily, apparently nobody noticed. I audited the file system and its contents were exactly the files we expected to be there, and with the correct hashes. But it all made me wish we had a better review process, if this was the kind of coder they were going to hire.

  62. Re: On my APK Hosts File Engine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    In 2013 they all reinstated the warnings because the heuristics kept telling them you hadn't stopped being an aggressive, unstable dick.

  63. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing. by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    Work smart, not hard!

  64. I work for a pretty big bank.. by G00F · · Score: 1

    I work for a pretty big bank with thousands and thousands of servers. I doubt 10% would pass a PCI audit, but since there are so many incompetent and non technical people between the assessor and those that know what they are doing.

    I've heard the manager of Sys admins say "I've never been told any of our servers fall under PCI" this specifically in reference to systems that comb over CC use in search of fraud......

    Shared system accounts running processes with full sudo access using a password forced using the crypt, passwords in a script in plane text and hasn't been changed in 10+ years...

    A lead Unix Architect who says N/A to PCI/CIS/Security requirements because he wants to.

    And an infosec, dispute being shown, don't understand and just wants to pass their Security+ exam....

    And things get much much worse, makes me want to update my resume....

    --
    The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive
  65. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatur by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    I beg your pardon.

    I buy an antivirus because it half-works. And that half-works is enough to alert me to bigger problems, and usually minimize or stop the spread of any infection on the network. It literally is better than nothing, outside of a truly closed system.

  66. Software reviews? Pikers! by DerekLyons · · Score: 1

    Standing security guard on an operation involving [can neither confirm nor deny] during an inspection. One of the inspectors was standing outside the security area next to some pipes that ran along the bulkhead. He put his hand on them and slowly started inching it along them towards the plane defined by the ropes that marked the security area. When his hand was just short of breaking the plane, I took my nightstick out and laid the tip on the pipe just touching his fingertips. He took his hand back, made a note and stepped back. There was a positive comment in the final report "during inspection of the [can neither confirm nor deny] operations the security guards were notably alert and forehanded* in the conduct of their duties".

    Then there was time a bomb threat was called away* and I found an "officer" wandering around unescorted. (During security situations we were supposed to pair up.) My partner and I had to forcibly and bodily haul him to the wardroom. (We didn't actually have to take our nightsticks to him, but it was close.) Turned out he was an officer who had just reported aboard and his escort had abandoned him. Got chewed out by the COB for manhandling an officer. Got congratulated by the XO for alert and proper handling of the situation. The escort who bailed went to mast and lost a stripe and half his pay for thirty days. The officer hated me until he learned the truth of how such situations were supposed to be handled. (That is, exactly as I handled it.) When he later became my division officer, he'd frequently bypass the chief (who was an idiot anyhow) and seek out my advice.

    Also got chewed out by the COB for taking charge at the scene of a another security drill... He'd wanted to see how the guy sitting next to me would react. I just told him piss off, I was there and trained specifically to handle that situation and the guy next to me wasn't. If he wanted to see how guys with less specific training would react he shouldn't have done what he did in front of a guy who was. Not my fault he wasn't paying attention.

    * Navy speak for what we now call "being proactive".

    ** It was a drill, but we didn't know that and anyhow regulations required us to treat all drills as real unless informed otherwise.

  67. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatur by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    I'm agreeing with the parent. Perhaps the system was surrounded by reinforced physical barriers, but what kind of device security was in place?

    How long before somebody engineered an input device to feed malware to the machine or elevate the privileges?

    How many people had access to the physical machine for maintenance if nothing else?

    If it that secure, either you have to lock down the network to only allow traffic to a specific IP. Or be absolutely 100% sure you can trust everybody that enters that room.

  68. Yeah, No by Greyfox · · Score: 1
    Not even in a "secure" environment with an air-gap to the internet in a position that required a security clearance.

    Some years earlier, though, I had a job doing B2 security auditing at Data General. For those of you who don't remember Data General, they had their own line of high end workstations and their own variant of UNIX. Their thing was making secure versions of UNIX and they wanted a B2 cert for it. So I got to read a good chunk of the original AT&T C standard library, which they'd licensed. We'd look for functions that could have unexpected side effects, write tests to prove side effects were or were not occurring for each function and wrote a little report for each function in the library. Those reports were eventually bundled up and set off to the NSA.

    The Ping of Death exploit for windows came out around that time, and it turns out that receiving the ping of death would NOT crash Data General's UNIX, but that originating one would. After we got done with the C library, we started looking at utilities. I got telnetd and found that a buffer that could receive environment variables from the remote side had a hard-coded size and could be exploited for a remote root buffer overflow attack. Couple years later the same exploit was discovered in the Linux telnetd. I'd thought about checking but by then telnetd wasn't enabled by default, and I thought the Linux telnetd source probably was developed somewhere other than AT&T and may not have even had the same bug in it. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  69. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatur by Zaelath · · Score: 1

    It literally is better than nothing, outside of a truly closed system.

    Tell that to my first Windows computer that picked up the relatively benign Lemming virus: http://wiw.org/~meta/vsum/view...

    It had been known for at least 2 years when the virus checker completely missed it, then opened (and hence infected) every COM and EXE file on the computer.

    Despite having no payload, the thing was so fragmented afterwards I had to format and reinstall (which is the thing to do anyway, but it made backing up any data bloody difficult)

    Virus scanners are like condoms; you suggest everyone use them because you can't stop their behaviour so you hope to mitigate it.

  70. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatur by phantomfive · · Score: 1

    I buy an antivirus because it half-works. And that half-works is enough to alert me to bigger problems, and usually minimize or stop the spread of any infection on the network.

    And you right there are spouting marketing FUD.
    Antivirus makes your computer less secure. Do a search for "antivirus vuln."

    --
    "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
  71. Just ignore the CA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I joined a development team while they were just finishing a security audit. The position actually opened up because they fired a previous employee just after the audit started. Of course, I snooped around to find out why. So this company developed a fairly popular communications software and one of the main features they touted was their encrypted communications. After poking through their recent svn commits and inspecting the changes, I quickly found out that the fired employee had changed their top-level CA verification to accept ANY certificate, except to fail two specific CAs (more on this later)... this basically meant that their entire encryption model could be spoofed, even by self-signed certificates. The odd thing was that this shop had good practices, CI, quality Unit Tests, a good QA team with thoroughly documented procedures... so I looked at the Unit Tests and realized the one of the two hard-coded CA failures was for the specific CA being used by the Unit Test to validate the bad CA failure case. Ok... so what is the other hard-coded failure CA? Took me a while to find out, but it turns out that it was the CA being used by the QA department to hand test the CA failure case.

    TLDR; Fired employee maliciously broke their CA checks and took steps to hide it from the Unit Tests and QA.

  72. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatu by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    Everything is a vulnerability. An antivirus application is better than nothing.

    There are more secure solutions than anti-virus software, but security must be traded for usability.

    An antivirus allows for the greatest level of usability by a user, without foregoing all security altogether.

  73. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Seen this as well. Had to slap McAfee on both the AIX and Solaris boxes.

  74. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    So why the fuck aren't you using Rust?

  75. PCI Audit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We've had to self-review (that's a joke to begin with) in order to get PCI compliance.

    I seriously doubt more than 10% of companies actually do everything the compliance requires.

    The crazy thing was they wanted our website compliant even though we didn't take CC's over web. But we had internet connected workstations, so oh boy gotta get those compliant ... even though they were not related to the web site.

    Sigh, yeah we do all that, pass.

  76. Re:Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing.. by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 1

    "Whooooooooooooooooosh" times ten to the 300th power.

    That went so far over your head, it's probably in low-Earth orbit.

    --
    Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
  77. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 1

    His face started getting a very deep red color

    Like rust?

    If I had mod points, they'd be yours.

    --
    Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
  78. I was gifted 40'000 credit card numbers by holophrastic · · Score: 2

    Through a client referral, I was introduced to a company that was in sudden need of a new web host. Their current Australian host was shutting down, and they had two weeks (by the time I was referred) to move their small Canadian site elsewhere.

    When I say "small Canadian site", I mean the site was a small, promotional, site, with little more than five pages and a signup form.

    Little did I know...

    This was ultimately the consumer-brand of a large telecom provider -- a very large, national, telecom provider. This "small" site, was a mass-market allowing consumers to sign-up, and to also pay their monthly long-distance bill. This was circa 2010.

    We shook hands, I said: "sure, I can move your site in the two weeks, just give me the credentials to it, and I'll figure it out."

    Wow was that a mistake. Anyone heard of CakePHP?. I had to figure it out pretty fast.

    It was late one evening, when I discovered the page that allowed customers to pay their bill online -- something no one had told me was a part of this tiny site. There was no https/ssl to even hint at it. And then I saw the MySQL insert statement, and the variable "card_number". And I was scared.

    I said, to myself, "no, it can't be!" There must be some part of the platform wrapping the database call that must mask-out the card number. Or this must not be the actual card number. Or maybe it's not used anymore. Or something.

    Then I logged into the phpMyAdmin, with the credentials given to me.

    So, this is when you need to understand something. I'm a small independent web developer. At the time, I was teeny tiny. I had no written contract. The e-mailed and in-person job discussions said nothing of sensitive information of any kind. No money would be transferred until the job was done. So at this point, there is effectively zero legal agreement between us.

    I looked at the table, I saw over forty-thousand records, each with real, live, credit card numbers. . .and expiry dates, and card holder names, and purchase amounts, and confirmation/approval codes.

    I was stunned.

    Obviously, being the non-criminal that I was at the time, I told them. I told them that I was appalled. I told them that it can't stay this way. I told them that I was going to charge them a few hundred dollars to encrypt the field, and the very least -- I was too young to know that I should have been charging way more.

    They said they didn't care, I should just leave it as-is.

    That was over a decade ago. Ever since then, I've learned that there are very few clients who will pay five cents towards security, backup, or encryption of any kind. In my entire 25-year career (so far), I've met only two clients who'll invest in that kind of safety.

    So I no longer bother even suggesting that security or backup is a good idea. My legal contracts ensure that I'm not legally liable for the consequences of doing anything that they've explicitly told me to do, and that's good enough for me, I guess.

    So to all those youngin's not yet jaded for failed efforts to be good, enjoy having the hero-skills to save people; but if your career is anything like mine, you'll quickly learn that those skills carry a perfectly zero-dollar value.

    In the days of Equifax, riddle me this: where's the law that says you can't store millions of archived data all in one place, forever, online? Some of these 40'000 records hadn't been charged in over a year -- clearly old/former customers. And aside from those from the current day, all of them were old records that were no longer needed at all. Equifax had e-mails from ten years ago. How about a very simple law saying that things get taken offline eventually? Your ten-year-old e-mail can be accessible from that machine in the corner of the office, or through a request for the tape backup, and that's good enough 99% of the time.

    But hey, where's the law that says one model of gun is illegal.

    Thanks for the freedom.

  79. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatu by phantomfive · · Score: 1

    Everything is a vulnerability.

    Now you're just making up shit because you know you're wrong. A better argument would have been if you built a metric to figure out how much more safe you are with antivirus than without. But you didn't do that, because the answer is less safe.

    --
    "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
  80. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatu by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    A metric to determine how much more safe one is with an antivirus than without?

    An anti-virus conducts inspections of code on the file system.

    Saying one is better off without an antivirus because it may introduce a vulnerability is akin to saying public restaraunts are better off without health inspectors, because the inspector might be a thief.

    The reality is that your argument merely demonstrates that it is foolish to ONLY have an antivirus, and no other failsafes or redundancies should the antivirus fail. An antivirus is a tool, not a magic bullet.

  81. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatu by phantomfive · · Score: 1

    Again, you are reaching for propaganda because you lack understanding.

    Because you are nice, I will teach you a logic lesson here. You have made several arguments by analogy here, but they are wrong: an argument by analogy needs two parts. The first is the analogy, and the second is an explanation that the analogy matches this situation.

    I can show you why by giving you my own analogy: an antivirus is like poison: it brings vulnerabilities to your system that weren't there before, some of them very severe. So which analogy is right? Yours or mine?

    --
    "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
  82. Re:Physical security... by ls671 · · Score: 1

    You are totally delusional Chris.

    Please explain to me why the submission you made in 1 account appears in all following accounts:
    https://slashdot.org/~IAteFatC...
    https://slashdot.org/~IHateFat...
    https://slashdot.org/~ILoveFat...
    https://slashdot.org/~cdreimer

    The unique submission link is:
    https://slashdot.org/submissio...

    --
    Everything I write is lies, read between the lines.
  83. Password rules by ICantFindADecentNick · · Score: 1

    People will tell you that, with rules requiring password to have upper and lower case, digits and a special character are "best practice"

  84. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by Opportunist · · Score: 2

    You jest, but that's what we did.

    Very similar setup, a completely isolated network with no way to bring data in an automated way into it. Data was entered manually only and extracted on CD-Roms. Similar problem, getting any kind of data line in would have required unacceptable security breaches. And similar requirements, i.e. all machines need antivirus software.

    So we wrote one. What that software basically did was to routinely check all hashes of all files on the machine (with the exception of the data files that contained text-only and some system files that didn't want to play nice) and locked the machine if they found a single file that did not match the whitelist.

    A "signature update" was basically us recalculating the hashes whenever a planned change occurred on a machine. Since that happened with a frequency of about once a month (i.e. at MS patchday) and we had mostly identical machines, that was not really a big deal. We simply created a "template" machine, patched it, created the hashes and rolled them out to the other machines along with the patches.

    In other words, we reduced the problem of "you have to have an AV" to what the AV is supposed to do: Ensure that nothing bad exists on the computer. Since our approach was more restrictive than the required one (i.e. nothing unknown allowed at all instead of nothing bad allowed), it was considered acceptable.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  85. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatur by gweihir · · Score: 2

    If you allow changing of the hardware, then the term "isolated system" loses all meaning. Feel free to do so, but know that your statements become nonsense if you do this.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
  86. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by schleimkeim · · Score: 1

    This story never happened.

  87. Re:The security review was nothing like I expected by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Nice try Lee Child, this is an excerpt for the upcoming Jack Reacher novel, right?

  88. Re:Physical security... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    https://slashdot.org/~IAteFatC...

    It literally says "cdreimer writes".

    You are a sick, diseased, sad, twisted wreck of a human being.

  89. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You're a fucking idiot.

  90. RFC 1918 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I had an auditor who asked for proof that the company was behind a firewall. I said, other than the fact that you are looking at the firewall, what do you need? She said, yes, but how can I be sure the company network is behind the firewall. I said, all of the items on the company network have RFC 1918 IP addresses. Those can't exist on the Internet. She then asked me for proof....

    1. Re:RFC 1918 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So you print out the ip addresses of the corporate network.
      The auditor wasn't asking for proof, she was asking for evidence. I know, I wasn't there, but that is what auditors want.

      My wife is an auditor.

  91. Re: You MUST have anti-virus with current signatu by Monster_user · · Score: 1

    Hardware fails. Even new hardware. That is why we have "warranties", because there is a period of time where most hardware does not fail, but some outliers do.

    Service to the physical components may be minimal, but is still a necessity. The two most likely to fail being the hard drive and power supply.

    Presumably the PC in the isolated environment is in a clean room, so dust caking the cooling fans isn't a concern. RAM would be expected to be a high quality, and last the life of the PC.

    Hard Drives seem to have a shorter lifespan than any other component. Four to ten years is what I've seen. Presumably the isolated equipment will have redundancies. Such as RAID 1+0. Those drives will need to be monitored and replaced. Which will have to be done by sight on an isolated system.

  92. On my APK Hosts File Engine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    9++ AV companies rescinded false positives based on erroneous heuristics clearing APK Hosts File Engine in 2012:

    1.) McAfee/Intel
    2.) ESET/NOD32
    3.) Symantec/Norton
    4.) Sophos
    5.) Comodo
    6.) ArcaVir
    7.) ClamAV
    8.) EmsiSoft
    9.) Qihoo360

    Heuristics I proved WRONG!

    (Against compressed exes stalling dissassembly 'scrambling' normal executables adding a loader + checking .exe size (if altered, program would not run) plus putting in disassembler/debugger checks)

    They called THAT a "virus"? LMAO!

    I was upmodded on /. for CODING FOR DEFCON http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=158231&cid=13257227/ MORE THAN A DECADE++ AGO on THAT VERY TECHNIQUE for exe protection no less!

    Selfcheck in size test on program start is still there & it PROTECTS vs. infection - "built-in/native" antivirus protection in & of itself!

    (HOWEVER - I pulled exe compression + debug check to get by it - they're inflexible on it - but they make code load faster off disk as filemass is smaller + protects a program, a SECURITY PROGRAM vs. infestation).

    * They STILL use those rules generating false positives on OTHERS!

    Proven safe by 57++ antivirus-> https://www.virustotal.com/en/file/e01211ca36aa02e923f20adee0a3c4f5d5187dc65bdf1c997b3da3c2b0745425/analysis/1433430542/

    APK

    P.S.=> Lastly - SPECIAL THANKS TO Mr. Steven Burn of Malwarebytes too - He performed a code review of my work that aided in the results above (he would not host my ware otherwise much less RECOMMEND IT as he does above others of its kind)... apk

  93. Time to make you look stupid again by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    See subject & I'm FAR better than an unidentifiable do-nothing "ne'er-do-well" douchebag loser like you. I just repost & run your dull-witted ass dry of "downmodpoints" as usual & you LOSE (it's all you know how to do, lol) https://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=11192493&cid=55314697/

    APK

    P.S.=> You make me laugh... apk

  94. Re:You MUST have anti-virus with current signature by phantomfive · · Score: 1

    Oh that makes me so happy. Not only did you work around the problems created by bad bureaucracy, but you ended up making something really great. If there were a Diogenes looking for a man who cared about security, he could rest when he found you.

    --
    "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
  95. Re:Physical security... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Who are you people? I'm not up on your vendetta, perhaps I don't spend enough time on here, but most importantly I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Every time this guy, or someone who you think is this guy, posts something you post twelve or twenty replies to it.
    At this risk of inviting your wrath: that sounds a bit stalker-y. or obsessive.
    I'm obviously posting AC, as the last thing I need is to be involved in a kook war, but I'm assuming I'm not the only person who's thinking this.

  96. SLASHDOT FAQ CIRCA 2017 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    >Who are you people? I'm not up on your vendetta, perhaps I don't spend enough time on here, but most importantly I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
    I wouldn't have thought you were creimer but you're asking a question then saying you don't want to know. One hallmark of Creimer AC posts is that they're usually met with a bunch of links and quotes explaining exactly why nobody likes creimer and he's an asshole so he looks horrible. So it'd odd you'd ask a question and demand nobody answer it.
    >Every time this guy, or someone who you think is this guy, posts something you post twelve or twenty replies to it.
    How would you know. Most of Creimer's socks and even the accounts that troll him all post at -1 the rest are AC posts at 0.
    >At this risk of inviting your wrath: that sounds a bit stalker-y. or obsessive.
    I have to admit this posting style isn't very creimer-y
    >I'm obviously posting AC, as the last thing I need is to be involved in a kook war, but I'm assuming I'm not the only person who's thinking this.
    No people waste mod points upvoting creimer's trolls it seems, I rarely see them downvoted and there are at least 3 people AC'ing to his posts.

    My interest in Creimer-ology began one day when I was browsing Slashdot posts, not being a serious poster and I noticed a seemingly irrelevant post with an amazon link. I assumed it was a bot or something. Then again a few days later I noticed some weird poster making off topic posts. Then another day I saw someone claim to make an astoundingly low salary for silicon valley. I was genuinely curious, wondering what I could do to avoid the same fate and wondering if I could offer this guy some advice so that he could make more money. I actually wanted to help him.

    Then I realized they were all the same fucking person and realized that people hated him and realized that he was constantly shilling and grifting for pennies on self-published books and amazon links all over the fucking internet. Then I saw him bragging that he was making 400/mo from his spam and it honestly pissed me the fuck off that this guy gets shitty contracts that you can't get fired from, fucks off at work and during his commute spamming slashdot to earn himself an extra 13 fucking dollars a day instead of doing his job or getting a promotion or.. really fucking anything.

    On further inspection he degrades the conversation with completely irrelevant and often completely made up anecodes sprinkled with monetized links but what really brought out the bully in me was when I heard him seemingly approve of old men moving to 3rd world countries to retire with "underage sweet things". Fucking bile in my mouth fuck off chris dale reimer. the reason he makes 55k a year and he's a 50 year old virgin is because his personality is absolutely repulsive he could get some behavior counseling, as a matter of fact his whole life could be different if he did but he refuses so fuck him right in the mantits.

    I want him to fuckoff where I never have to see him again or I want him banned.

    Yes I must admit that I have a great time picking apart his bullshit stories and trash talking him. But it's not every day I get to indulge that because really there aren't that many people who deserve that treatment. Chris does.

  97. Re: Seriously? Re:The security review was nothing by arglebargle_xiv · · Score: 1

    Wow, someone is still taking this seriously???

    It's a pretty accurate depiction of an encounter with a typical Rust flake if you ask me.