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LinkedIn Bro Poetry Pretty Much Sums Up 2017 (thedailybeast.com)

Posted by msmash on from the what-in-the-world dept.

An anonymous reader shares an article: It starts out like this: I was homeless. I was fired yesterday. I was walking home. I took an Uber. Someone stopped me on the street. My boss told me not to take a chance on anyone over 50, but I hired him anyway. It was Elon Musk. LinkedIn has become overrun with these types of inspirational tales posted as long status updates. They're characterized by their short sentences and read like E.E. Cummings poems recited from memory by Tony Robbins. They're usually between 15 to 25 lines long, always double spaced. They start with a hook in the first couple sentences that entices the reader to click the "see more" link that's displayed on LinkedIn posts that are longer than three lines. Some refer to this type of post as "the LinkedIn haiku" others call it "broetry" and it has completely cannibalized the LinkedIn newsfeed.

32 of 51 comments (clear)

  1. Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ...would cut into my SlashDot time. Besides, my last few jobs have come from LinkedIn - why would you crap where you eat?

    1. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 5, Funny

      Fine. Try this. "LinkedIn broetry would make the average Vogon proud." Happy?

    2. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by avandesande · · Score: 2

      Traditionally it is spent on 'frost pist' or something similar.

      --
      love is just extroverted narcissism
    3. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by mnemotronic · · Score: 2

      Total waste of a first post bro.

      Fine. Try this ...

      More often than not, reading or responding to ACs is the definition of "total waste". 'Cept when I post anonymously. That is pure fjnorking poetry.

      --
      The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
    4. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 1

      EXACTLY my idea. Mod Parent UP!

      --
      SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
    5. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by I'm+New+Around+Here · · Score: 1

      Whoosh.

      --
      If you think I voted for Trump because of this post, you're wrong. I voted for Dr. Jill Stein of the Green Party. Again.
  2. One good thing about it for sure by mi · · Score: 1

    ... and it has completely cannibalized the LinkedIn newsfeed.

    Not sure, what "cannibals" have to do with this, but it sure sounds like LinkedIn newsfeed became better because of it...

    --
    In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
    1. Re:One good thing about it for sure by tripleevenfall · · Score: 5, Insightful

      There's a LinkedIn news feed?

    2. Re:One good thing about it for sure by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 1

      That's the real news here. Who browses LinkedIn for anything other than employer/employee hunting?

  3. Gives a fuck. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm inspired to never pay any attention to ridiculous boring shit like that.

  4. No kidding by 110010001000 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    And if the post says "thought leader" in it, I block it.

  5. I got one! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was bored. I checked Slashdot. I wanted interesting news or something that matters. I saw an article. It was neither interesting nor was it news nor did it matter.

    1. Re:I got one! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2

      I opened an email. It had a 1x1 gif. But I only display text, and the web bug was not loaded. It did not matter. Just. Like. This. Site.

    2. Re:I got one! by Aighearach · · Score: 1

      I was slashdot. I checked, bored. I wanted neither interesting news or something that matters. I saw no article, and it did not matter.

  6. Slashdot Poll by avandesande · · Score: 3

    Doesn't anyone seriously read any of the crap on linkedin feed?

    --
    love is just extroverted narcissism
    1. Re:Slashdot Poll by omnichad · · Score: 4, Informative

      Apparently not. And people who spend a lot of time marketing on there are desperate for attention. It's like the wild West of SEO from the late 90's in there.

    2. Re:Slashdot Poll by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 2

      You won't believe what happened next!

      --
      Support my political activism on Patreon.
    3. Re:Slashdot Poll by avandesande · · Score: 1

      Was it because of one weird trick?

      --
      love is just extroverted narcissism
    4. Re:Slashdot Poll by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 1

      No it was because of this one secret insurance companies hate!

      --
      Support my political activism on Patreon.
    5. Re:Slashdot Poll by avandesande · · Score: 1

      Obama passed a new law!

      --
      love is just extroverted narcissism
    6. Re:Slashdot Poll by coofercat · · Score: 2

      Yeah, Linkedin has it's own 'fake news' problem, it's just a lot easier to spot and a lot less corrosive than the problems Facebook's got. Like Facebook, they need to surface the good stuff and suppress the bad stuff.

      While I'm here, Linkedin's 'feed' is quite probably the most brain-dead implementation possible. I posted a link to a little joke project I'd worked on for a couple of days. After I'd hit "submit", the post vanished - I had to go to My Profile -> My Posts to go find it again. Surely, they should be puffing up my ego a bit and making sure that for me at least, my post is at the top of my feed for at least a couple of hours before gradually falling down it into the oblivion such things deserve.

      In reverse, one of my contacts posts some interesting stuff, which typically gets loads of likes and comments and whatnot. I have no idea how though - they don't appear in my feed, I have to search for them when they ask if I've seen it. Hopeless. Sometimes I wonder if my feed is upside down - all the shit at the top and the good stuff at the bottom, 100 clicks away.

  7. LinkedIn and MSFT by walterhpdx · · Score: 1

    Yet one more reason to not pay attention to Linkedin. I swear the emails I get from them have quadrupled since MSFT took them over, and my interest in using the site has fallen precipitously.

  8. For Sale by Comboman · · Score: 1
    LinkedIn Post.

    Never Read.

    --
    Support Right To Repair Legislation.
  9. So much depends upon by Comboman · · Score: 2
    A read LinkedIn post

    glazed with rain water

    beside the white chickens.

    --
    Support Right To Repair Legislation.
    1. Re:So much depends upon by OzPeter · · Score: 1

      A read LinkedIn post

      glazed with rain water

      beside the white chickens.

      Burma Shave!!

      --
      I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
  10. Haiku by Goose+In+Orbit · · Score: 3, Funny

    Read the summary:
    Elon Musk is forty six
    I call total bull

  11. where is the article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    The blurb references an article but there is no link to an article

  12. In the words of Lucille Bluth by Phylarr · · Score: 1

    "I don't know what this is and I don't care to find out."

    I don't know what LinkedIn Bro Poetry is, but I am 100% certain that nothing involving LinkedIn sums up 2017 unless that thing is "Microsoft's increasingly desperate attempts to make LinkedIn into some sort of social harbinger."

    --
    "Choosing to refrain from producing another person demonstrates a profound love for all life" [vhemt.org]
  13. e e cummings by pipingguy · · Score: 2

    Disable caps for his name!

    1. Re:e e cummings by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      No. That's dumb.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  14. Typical American pretentiousnes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    they all walk and carry themselves like they're the most esteemed and accomplished people to ever grace the earth. American culture is like that. It's about you. You're awesome. You're worth it. You're better than the rest, etc.

  15. Cui bono? by HiThere · · Score: 1

    What I don't get is "Who benefits from that?". It doesn't seem good, bad, or indifferent, just stupid, and I can't see who is supposed to benefit from that kind of post. Or is it just some sort of inoffensive troll?

    Well, possibly this is because I never visit Linked In. But to me this feels mainly weird. It's like the "Enquirer" headline I read today that said "Oswald didn't shoot JFK, it was a cop", and that made me think Bob Wilson was writing for them, and wonder if "Illuminatus" was a history...for a second or two.

    --

    I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.