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LinkedIn Bro Poetry Pretty Much Sums Up 2017 (thedailybeast.com)

Posted by msmash on from the what-in-the-world dept.

An anonymous reader shares an article: It starts out like this: I was homeless. I was fired yesterday. I was walking home. I took an Uber. Someone stopped me on the street. My boss told me not to take a chance on anyone over 50, but I hired him anyway. It was Elon Musk. LinkedIn has become overrun with these types of inspirational tales posted as long status updates. They're characterized by their short sentences and read like E.E. Cummings poems recited from memory by Tony Robbins. They're usually between 15 to 25 lines long, always double spaced. They start with a hook in the first couple sentences that entices the reader to click the "see more" link that's displayed on LinkedIn posts that are longer than three lines. Some refer to this type of post as "the LinkedIn haiku" others call it "broetry" and it has completely cannibalized the LinkedIn newsfeed.

16 of 51 comments (clear)

  1. Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ...would cut into my SlashDot time. Besides, my last few jobs have come from LinkedIn - why would you crap where you eat?

    1. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by xxxJonBoyxxx · · Score: 5, Funny

      Fine. Try this. "LinkedIn broetry would make the average Vogon proud." Happy?

    2. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by avandesande · · Score: 2

      Traditionally it is spent on 'frost pist' or something similar.

      --
      love is just extroverted narcissism
    3. Re:Watching a LinkedIn newsfeed... by mnemotronic · · Score: 2

      Total waste of a first post bro.

      Fine. Try this ...

      More often than not, reading or responding to ACs is the definition of "total waste". 'Cept when I post anonymously. That is pure fjnorking poetry.

      --
      The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
  2. Gives a fuck. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm inspired to never pay any attention to ridiculous boring shit like that.

  3. No kidding by 110010001000 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    And if the post says "thought leader" in it, I block it.

  4. I got one! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was bored. I checked Slashdot. I wanted interesting news or something that matters. I saw an article. It was neither interesting nor was it news nor did it matter.

    1. Re:I got one! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2

      I opened an email. It had a 1x1 gif. But I only display text, and the web bug was not loaded. It did not matter. Just. Like. This. Site.

  5. Slashdot Poll by avandesande · · Score: 3

    Doesn't anyone seriously read any of the crap on linkedin feed?

    --
    love is just extroverted narcissism
    1. Re:Slashdot Poll by omnichad · · Score: 4, Informative

      Apparently not. And people who spend a lot of time marketing on there are desperate for attention. It's like the wild West of SEO from the late 90's in there.

    2. Re:Slashdot Poll by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 2

      You won't believe what happened next!

      --
      Support my political activism on Patreon.
    3. Re:Slashdot Poll by coofercat · · Score: 2

      Yeah, Linkedin has it's own 'fake news' problem, it's just a lot easier to spot and a lot less corrosive than the problems Facebook's got. Like Facebook, they need to surface the good stuff and suppress the bad stuff.

      While I'm here, Linkedin's 'feed' is quite probably the most brain-dead implementation possible. I posted a link to a little joke project I'd worked on for a couple of days. After I'd hit "submit", the post vanished - I had to go to My Profile -> My Posts to go find it again. Surely, they should be puffing up my ego a bit and making sure that for me at least, my post is at the top of my feed for at least a couple of hours before gradually falling down it into the oblivion such things deserve.

      In reverse, one of my contacts posts some interesting stuff, which typically gets loads of likes and comments and whatnot. I have no idea how though - they don't appear in my feed, I have to search for them when they ask if I've seen it. Hopeless. Sometimes I wonder if my feed is upside down - all the shit at the top and the good stuff at the bottom, 100 clicks away.

  6. So much depends upon by Comboman · · Score: 2
    A read LinkedIn post

    glazed with rain water

    beside the white chickens.

    --
    Support Right To Repair Legislation.
  7. Re:One good thing about it for sure by tripleevenfall · · Score: 5, Insightful

    There's a LinkedIn news feed?

  8. Haiku by Goose+In+Orbit · · Score: 3, Funny

    Read the summary:
    Elon Musk is forty six
    I call total bull

  9. e e cummings by pipingguy · · Score: 2

    Disable caps for his name!