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36,744 People Are Watching Overwatch's Jeff Kaplan Sit Motionless With A Yule Log (kotaku.com)

Posted by EditorDavid on from the roasting-on-an-open-fire dept.

An anonymous reader quotes Kotaku: He's been this way for over an hour, and as word's gotten out the audience has swelled to over 30,000... The Twitch stream opened a couple hours ago on an empty chair. A few minutes later Kaplan walked in and sat down. He's been there ever since, sometimes crossing his legs, sometimes uncrossing them, and always looking, watching, waiting. And lest anyone think the stream is somehow a small segment of footage on loop, there have been a few weird moments sprinkled throughout, including one where Jeff gets booped by an off camera boom mic. In the other, less action filled parts, you can feel time passing as the rate of Jeff blinking changes. Three different blinking speeds, we'll call them long stare, short stare, and turbo eye lash flicking, have taken shape in the stream like the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future...

It's boring to the point of being impossible to look away. It's actually the opposite of what this time of year's supposed to be about. You should be having human interactions with other people. Catching up with family and friends. Not sitting with your phone or laptop transfixed by a motionless Jeff Kaplan...so far he's just continued to sit and stare, perhaps pondering the future of the game or that email he forgot to respond to from a few days ago or maybe just the fact the how many Christmas Eves ago he never imagined where he'd be on December 24, 2017.

78 comments

  1. Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

    Merry Christmas to all atheists! I'll pray for you!

    Jesus Christ loves you and wants you to be saved! I'll pray that you start believing in Jesus! Merry Christmas!

    1. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by crow · · Score: 0

      It's exactly this in-your-face Christianity that keeps so many people as far away from organized religion as possible.

    2. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

      Exterminate shitty smelly parasitic hindu-chimps,!

    3. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

      One, it's probably a troll, you posing as AC.
       
      Two, there really isn't anything "in your face" about it. Are you on the rag?

    4. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Interesting

      Merry Christmas to all you Christians. We like the liberal version of Jesus Christ. He's the sort of guy who'd sit with the gay couple and try to befriend them to convert them away from wanting to be in a gay marriage. You know, living a righteous life and by example be a role model? Yea, that was one cool dude.

      PS - I'm not actually against gay marriage. In general the big JC was against marriage anyways as he felt it distracted you from your spiritual life. As he said, you can't have two masters, so realistically having a spouse and kids really muddles things. Having said that, I have no doubt that Jesus Christ, if alive today, would simply say, "Yea, I have gay friends. Some of them are even married." He wouldn't resent them or berate them. Maybe even he'd change his mind about it being a sin.

    5. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by CQDX · · Score: 1

      If you believe in the divinity of Jesus then you have to take the entire New Testament, including the writings of St. Paul which explicitly say physical homosexual relations are verboten, monogamous or not. This is a carry over from the old Jewish law. Most of the strict Jewish religious laws were not required of Christians but sexual morality rules were one Gentiles were obligated to follow.

    6. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Which is my point. Most of the old Jewish laws were not carried over because they were, apparently, extraneous to the moral code that God (and hence Jesus) was all about. So, I wonder if the issue of sexual morality would be the thing he'd most focus on or even care about, at least in terms of homosexuality. It's really hard to say, of course, as it's clear at some level why you want to make homosexuality verboten: it can lead to issues of sexual discrimination. Of course, given that that's precisely what was the norm in Jesus' time, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it... *shrug* Either way, Jesus wouldn't be that guy screaming about "homos going to hell". He'd simply try to befriend and talk to them. If/when it failed for some/many, he'd move on.

    7. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by UncleWilly · · Score: 1

      Atheist here. I believe in Jesus (as in there was a carpenter's son named Jesus about 2k years ago), just not in any religions or God. Happy Holidays!

    8. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is there a correct way ? Please enlighten us on the correct way, Your Highness.

    9. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

      Because you neee a God to tell you being a fag is wrong? Itâ(TM)s clearly unnatural and wrong.

    10. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by psycho12345 · · Score: 1

      I think we differ on the definition of "saved". Saved in most cases has involved thumbscrews, cutting off the hand, drowning, burning, beheading, racking, raping, and pillaging.

    11. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Fuck off

    12. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by rHBa · · Score: 1

      I had a really negative, atheist response to that but I don't want to ruin Xmas for everyone.

    13. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because you neee a God to tell you being a fag is wrong? Itâ(TM)s clearly unnatural and wrong.

      Uh, where do I even begin? How about, it's one thing for me to not be interested in my own sex sexually. It's another to feel the need to tell other people, who aren't hitting on you, that THEY can't be interested in their own sex sexually. Take that up a not to actually wanting to beat-up, lynch, imprison, or murder them? Yea, that's just fucked up. Which is the whole issue with the point, I guess. If you view God as your own personal moral compass, that's one thing. The second you start to view God as "the State" and hence to push "God" to go around imposing your own moral compass, you're just an authoritarian asshole

      Otherwise, I really don't give a fuck what you find is "clearly unnatural and wrong" because it doesn't effect me.

    14. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dude you can't pretend you aren't being an edgelord aka "in your face" when you say shit like "are you on the rag?" Goddamnit.

    15. Re: Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thatâ(TM)s obviously a troll. The responses just make it sound like you are atheists because you hate religious idiots rather than by logic. Cool it.

    16. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      If you believe in the divinity of Jesus then you have to take the entire New Testament, including the writings of St. Paul

      I have it on good authority that St. Paul was a right bloody liar.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    17. Re:Merry Christmas to all atheists! by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      I always found it odd too. Like somebody went: "Right guys. From now on, you can wear poly-cotton shirts and as for the bacon, knock yourselves out! But still no fudge-nudging, got that?"

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  2. You don't say?! by denzacar · · Score: 4, Funny

    A bunch of idiots with too much time on their hands are wasting it by watching some guy do nothing?

    I'm shocked! SHOCKED!

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    1. Re: You don't say?! by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 4, Informative

      A bunch of idiots with too much time on their hands are wasting it by watching some guy do nothing?

      This already has prior art . . . Andy Warhol invented this back in the 60's with his movies.

      It's still both confusing and amazing what folks will watch.

      --
      Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    2. Re: You don't say?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

      Exterminate shitty smelly parasitic hindu-chimps.

    3. Re: You don't say?! by nospam007 · · Score: 1

      "A bunch of idiots with too much time on their hands are wasting it by watching some guy do nothing?"

      It's spiritual. All these guys think that, since they are lazy as shit, _they_ could have done that!
      After all, that's mostly what they do all day. Every day.
      So it's just pure envy.

    4. Re: You don't say?! by rtb61 · · Score: 1

      Mock the stream, let them know what it is really worth and in a far more subtle way then most people would think, log into it, turn on you blank screen saver and turn off the volume and leave it run, nothing watching nothing, perhaps the advertisers will start to realise how much of this stuff is a marketing scam targeted at them.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    5. Re: You don't say?! by jwhyche · · Score: 2

      Correction. 36745.

      --
      I read at +2. If your post doesn't reach that level I will not see or respond to it.
    6. Re: You don't say?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I doubt they watch it. I get the impression 99% of those who "watches" streams just have it as background noise.

  3. Let's be social and celebrate Christmas by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Let's get together, burn an ashen faggot, dance around it singing Christmas songs, and be merry! Now there's a Christmas tradition.

  4. Jesus is the reason for the season by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Go to church and celebrate the birth of the Son of God.

    1. Re: Jesus is the reason for the season by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Santa?

    2. Re:Jesus is the reason for the season by nospam007 · · Score: 1

      "Go to church and celebrate the birth of the Son of God."

      Happy Sol Invictus to you too.

    3. Re:Jesus is the reason for the season by user32.ExitWindowsEx · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hallowed are the Ori.

      --
      "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb." -- Dark Helmet
  5. Okay by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    So this is what a loser looks like.
    Got it.
    next ..

  6. For the 99% who don't now who Kaplan is (like me) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Apparently he's some video game designer who's the VP of Blizzard. Why the editors think we're all just supposed to know this is beyond me.

    Also, no relation to George Kaplan

  7. Agree completely. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't understand why anyone would give this more than a few seconds of attention.

    I DO understand meditation. But watching someone else meditate is not the same thing.

    I also understand why people are impressed by "human statues." Holding perfectly still for an extended period is quite hard, so people watch that to be impressed by such a display of self-control. And, of course, to feel gratified if they notice a subtle movement.

    But this...It's just a waste of time.

    I have already spent more time typing up this post than the subject-matter justifies.

    1. Re:Agree completely. by nospam007 · · Score: 1

      "I don't understand why anyone would give this more than a few seconds of attention."

      Not everybody has ADD like you.

    2. Re:Agree completely. by ClickOnThis · · Score: 1

      I don't think the point of this, or Andy Warhol's movies, is to watch them for the full duration. They're a kind of tableau vivant -- something you observe for as long as you wish, then go on to something else in your life. They're something more than a photograph, but less than a movie.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    3. Re:Agree completely. by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

      Far, far, far less than.

  8. Happy Holidays! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

    Happy Hanukkah to all kikes!
    Happy Kwanzaa to all n1ggers!

    1. Re:Happy Holidays! by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      Slashdot becomes a magical place at Christmas.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    2. Re:Happy Holidays! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      DIAF, witch

    3. Re:Happy Holidays! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's sad is that I would rather read about this than Firefox or systemd.

      'Tis the season to hang yourself with a belt in a closed door. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

  9. Twitch streams make the "news" now? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Welcome to Slashdot, we wished we were still a Goatse site, instead of a twitch watching site.

    1. Re:Twitch streams make the "news" now? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The sad thing is that this will get enough article coverage for Wikipedia to consider it "notable" enough for an article while many more deserving topics don't.

  10. Nick Offerman did it better by eSyr · · Score: 2

    Nick Offerman's Yule Log was far more interesting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

    1. Re:Nick Offerman did it better by Miamicoastguard · · Score: 0

      Yep

    2. Re:Nick Offerman did it better by ClickOnThis · · Score: 1

      Not to mention better refreshments. 16-year-old Lagavulin? Count me in.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
  11. At this point by rsilvergun · · Score: 1

    They're just seeing what they can get away with.

    --
    Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
  12. O, you better not pout by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT!
    da-da-da--dada
    Trump goinnnnnng doooooowwwwwwn!
    That wacko is pathetheticmungous.

  13. Re:Ya thats whats Slash's about Belief... by wolfheart111 · · Score: 1

    Not facts right.

    --
    [($)]
  14. Are the 'viewers' actually viewing? by klindsay · · Score: 1

    I'm tempted to open the link in a tab and walk away, just because.

  15. Who is Jeff Kaplan? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And why should I care?

    1. Re:Who is Jeff Kaplan? by CanadianMacFan · · Score: 1

      Are peoples' lives really that shallow now?

      Yes, and they have been that shallow for a while now. Or else the Kardashians wouldn't have made all that money.

    2. Re:Who is Jeff Kaplan? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well known game developer.

      Did you post in the other dozen stories that has even less to do with news for nerds before you got here?

  16. Better things to do by AlanObject · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If you are in to Overwatch (I am not) your time is better spent looking at the related artwork floating around of the out-of-this-world callipygian girl characters in skintight costumes. Or sometimes no costumes except the face paint.

    But maybe that's just me.

    1. Re:Better things to do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But maybe that's just me.

      It may be. I'm looking at the solidly built muscular THICC girls because I prefer them to your waifish bitches with corny accents.

      And ok, Kerrigan, but that's because I have this fetish for being ravaged.

    2. Re:Better things to do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      [_] S
      [x] M

  17. It's like the world's first Dadaist Christmas spec by Millennium · · Score: 1

    Ce n'est pas un spécial de NoÃl?

  18. There is no Yule Log by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 0

    Don't the editors check anything?

    There's a fireplace and cookies and milk and Jeff Kaplan.

    There is no Yule Log. A Yule Log is a cake that looks like a log, decorated in a Christmassy theme.

    Jesus H F Christ.

    --
    I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
    1. Re:There is no Yule Log by CQDX · · Score: 2

      A Yule Log is both wood you burn on Christmas and a cake, a cake designed to look like a real Yule Log. Look it up. But you are correct in that there's no real Yule Log as it's a gas fireplace.

    2. Re:There is no Yule Log by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 1

      And it's not Christmas. That's tomorrow.

      --
      I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
    3. Re: There is no Yule Log by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Depends on your part of the world and on which they do you celebrate christmas

    4. Re:There is no Yule Log by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And it's not Christmas. That's tomorrow.

      That is why it is a Yule log. Yule is commonly celebrated on the 24th.

      Celebrating Christmas on the 25th is pretty much an American thing.
      Most claim the celebrate Christmas when they translate it to English but that is mostly because literal translation of the actual holiday sounds so awkward in English.

      It is also why you get the whole "WTF are you talking about?" response when Christians say that atheists shouldn't celebrate it. In other languages there is nothing that hints at it having anything to do with Christianity.

    5. Re:There is no Yule Log by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 1

      I'm British and an atheist and it's ludicrous for a Christian to tell me I'm not allowed to engage in Christmas traditions. It's normal to celebrate Christmas in the UK on the 25th. It's a national holiday in the US and most European countries and a number of other countries. Having a secular celebration where you buy your kids presents and have a big meal is perfectly fine.

      A year end, mid winter celebration is common in many cultures, especially in northern countries where there is a big difference between winter and summer, unlike equatorial countries. However having just come back from Malaysia I can report that there was a lot of Christmas paraphernalia in the stores, during the 28C/80F weather and it's a country where Islam, Buddhism and a few other religions are more prevalent than christianity.

      The christian churches just adopted this time or year because it was an existing celebration, long before biblical times.

      Back on topic - In the UK, I've only ever heard "Yule Log" used in the context of a cake. I now live in the US and this Slashdot story is the first time I've heard it used to refer to a log on a fire during Christmas.

      --
      I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
  19. It's a Christmas miracle. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Kotaku ran a story that didn't complain about how racist sexist transphobic and white supremacist the log is.

  20. "Stuff that matters' by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yeah, right.

  21. Who? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Iâ(TM)ve no idea who this is. Why would, or should, I care.

  22. Re:For the 99% who don't now who Kaplan is (like m by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 1

    Also, no relation to George Kaplan

    What about Gabe?

  23. Who is Jeff Kaplan? by Rick+Zeman · · Score: 1

    ...and who really gives a rat's ass what he's doing? Are peoples' lives really that shallow now?

  24. What is a Jeff Kaplan? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And why would I care?

  25. Channelling Andy Warhol by tonique · · Score: 2

    I'm sure Andy Warhol would have been enthusiastic about modern webcams and streaming. Just think about his films, such as Sleep .

  26. It's designed to be displayed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    30,000 people aren't actively watching it, you're supposed to put it on a TV in lieu of having an actual fire.

    Also Kaplan isn't live either, so I really have no idea what this person is mad about. Did someone give him coal for Christmas?

  27. Idiocracy by DaMattster · · Score: 1

    Sounds like the movie Ass

  28. Who is Jeff Kaplan? by sgage · · Score: 1

    Who the hell is Jeff Kaplan, and why should I, or anyone else, care about his idiotic performance art?

  29. Re:For the 99% who don't now who Kaplan is (like m by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I think more "nerds" know who Jeff Kaplan is than who RMS is.

    Not a knock against either of those individuals. Just sayin'.

  30. Don't be alarmed. by Snufu · · Score: 1

    Jeff saw Gabe Newell live streaming in front of a yule log and, well, Blizzard.

  31. Rhyming's lang by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1

    Yule teid log = wog =


    X tot X `EMS . TRICE on TRICE . FLIRTER `GYPPED .
    EA on X . X . X tot X `X tot X `X us are X tot X `
    X X . X . X . X us are X us are X us are X tot X `
    X `X `X . X . X `META `X `META `TRICE on GYPPED .
    X . X X . X . X tot X `X tot X `X us are X . X on
    X on EA . X . X tot X `X tot X `X us are X on X .
    X tot X `EMS . TRICE on TRICE . FLIRTER `X tot X `

  32. Re:For the 99% who don't now who Kaplan is (like m by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, he is also known for his old forum Everquest and WoW rants under the alias "Tigole Bitties".

    "Whoever came up with this sheer fisting of an encounter can go fuck themselves. Do me a favor so I don't waste my guild's time on this kind of jackass shit-fest again, send me an email at tigole@legacyofsteel.net when you decide to A) Implement an encounter that wasn't designed by a retarded chimp chained to a cubicle A.)Get a Quality Assuarance Department C) Actually beta test the fucking thing and D) Patch it live. And please for god's sake -- do it in the order I laid out for you. Don't worry, I won't charge you a consulting fee on that one. And for good luck you might as well E) Pull your heads out of your asses. While you're at it rename the game to BetaQuest since you've used up you're alotted false advertising karma on the Bazaar and user interface scam of '01.Fix the Emperor encounter. Fix Seru. Rethink your time-sink bullshit. Fix all the buggy motherfucking ring encounters (I suggest you let whoever made the Burrower one do this since that dude apparently laid off the crack the rest of you were smoking). Fix the VT key quest. Fix VT (just guessing it's fucked up considering your track record). Don't have the resources to fix this stuff? Move the ENTIRE Planes of Power team over to fixing Shadows of Luclin AND DO IT NOW. If you don't fix Luclin, you jackassess will be the only ones playing the Planes of Power."

    Mr. Torvalds doesn't have anything on this dude when it comes to toxic flamewars.

  33. Re:For the 99% who don't now who Kaplan is (like m by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    I think more "nerds" know who Jeff Kaplan is than who RMS is.

    Possibly. But RMS has far more articles about him posted on Slashdot than Jeff Kaplan. A simple search on both names reveals the truth. Normally articles correlates with popularity, so the data doesn't support your assertion.

  34. Booped! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Jeff Kaplan getting booped by a boom mic? I'd buy that for a dollar!