Judge Backs Parents, Saying Their 30-Year-Old Son Must Move Out (npr.org)

"Attention geeks living in their parents' basements!" writes PolygamousRanchKid , sharing this story from NPR: The promise of adventure didn't do it. Neither did the lure of independence, or the weight of his 30 years. Instead, it took a judge to pry Michael Rotondo from his parents' home. The couple won an eviction order against their son, after a judge argued with Rotondo for 30 minutes. "I don't see why they can't just, you know, wait a little bit for me to leave the house," Rotondo told Donald Greenwood, a justice on the Onondaga County Supreme Court...

Christina and Mark Rotondo resorted to legal action after a series of notes to their son (starting on Feb. 2) failed to get him to move out of their home in Camillus, New York, a town west of Syracuse. Those notes followed discussions that began last October. The notes to Michael Rotondo ranged from orders to leave and encouragement to get a job, to offers of more than $1,000 and help in finding a place... The notes escalated into a formally worded notice for Rotondo to leave that set a 30-day deadline -- which lapsed on March 15...

In a legal filing cited by CNYCentral, Rotondo said that in the eight years he has lived at his parents' house, he "has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises," and that those conditions are simply part of an informal agreement. When he was in his early 20s, Rotondo briefly lived on his own, but he moved back in with his parents after losing a job...

The case is being seen as an extreme example of a growing trend. As NPR reported in 2016, a Pew study found that, "For the first time in more than 130 years, Americans ages 18-34 are more likely to live with their parents than in any other living situation."

Comments

Not News For Nerds

[NicknameUnavailable]

How did this even make it into the firehose?

Re:Not News For Nerds

[Ol Olsoc]

More to the point the Stereotype is that “Nerds live in the parents basement.” Most jobs for nerds pay well enough for them to live on their own and most do. However conditions for younger adults are much harder today then the past generations in terms of home ownership.

I know it is fashionable to complain about the terrible injustices facing the millennials, and how badly they have it, but allow me to telll a story of how we privileged late boomers had it on our waltz to easy street.

Sarcasm off.

I entered the workforce in the early 1970's. One of the first issues of the times was that I might get drafted and sent to the Jungles of Vietnam. Then there was finding employment. As the job stimulus aspect of the war was winding down, we were in a bit of a funk. As a single white male, I was at the bottom of the hiring list. Bell Telephone HR told me as much. I qualified well for their employ, but they needed more people who didn't look like me. Beyond that, their rankings for employment were married Veterans, single veterans, Married men with children, Married men, and single men (fwiw, I'm not sure where females were in the mix because he didn't mention them)

Then after finally landing work, there was this double digit inflation. Many of my fellow young people simply didn't save for retirement or other things, a habit they have continued till today. But they did whine.

Anyhow, The problems of millennials is more that they have been raised with unrealistic expectations. The young ladies have been raised with the concept that they can "have it all", just like men. That conveniently ignores the fact that men don't have it all.

The males are largely sad cases. Oftentimes drugged into submission during their school years, and having been educated that they are not the ones who can have it all, many have simply given up.

Before the typical backlash that happens when someone dares express an opinion other than that no generation has ever had it worse - their problems are based on entirely fucked up ideas on our part.

In areas that have the better paying jobs also have outrageous housing costs. So that home your grandparents or parents got with an adjusted for inflation salary of 50k a year job now needs 80k a year to get a similar home in some cities that has inflated to closer to 120k..

Remember though, that with today's two income household model, and the willingness to spend stupid amounts of money for housing, that is what you end up with.

So many kids are staying at their parents house and help paying for their rent because their parents were able to get their home at a bargain compared to today.

So the fact that we terrible prents were making less money then is of no consequence? Yeah - my house cost less than it would today. I was also making less. I do not know if you are a millennial, or just play one on TV, but seriously, you should try having no job prospects, hyperinflation and the possibility of having an early death and/ornasty PTSD after being forced to fight.

The lesson of all of this is that the cards we are dealt are the cards we are dealt. Wanna whine and complain, piss and moan about how awful it all is? by all means do - its a free country. There were a few folks I grew up with that did that too. Now they are old pissers and moaners. Hope they enjoyed their lack of success. But if peop;le think that life is just too hard for them - well, I guess they might be right.

Re:Not News For Nerds

[Anonymous Coward]

>One of the first issues of the times was that I might get drafted and sent to the Jungles of Vietnam.

So did everyone else, but from your story you weren't, so that gave you an advantage.

>As a single white male, I was at the bottom of the hiring list. Bell Telephone HR told me as much. I qualified well for their employ, but they needed more people who didn't look like me.

Jobs that didn't prefer white males in the 70s? Jesus F. Christ, that's a bold lie right there.

> Then after finally landing work, there was this double digit inflation. Many of my fellow young people simply didn't save for retirement or other things, a habit they have continued till today. But they did whine.

So why are you complaining about millenials?

>Anyhow, The problems of millennials is more that they have been raised with unrealistic expectations. The young ladies have been raised with the concept that they can "have it all", just like men. That conveniently ignores the fact that men don't have it all.

The American Dream is not a new concept. Stop blaming Millenials for buying into it. The Baby Boomer media is what pushed that concept so fucking hard.

>The males are largely sad cases. Oftentimes drugged into submission during their school years, and having been educated that they are not the ones who can have it all, many have simply given up.

OK, stop, you're just a stereotype of an alt-right troll who hasn't seen what the outside world looks like right now.

>Remember though, that with today's two income household model, and the willingness to spend stupid amounts of money for housing, that is what you end up with.

But I thought that your generation didn't save money? How come you expect that from young couples now?

>So the fact that we terrible prents were making less money then is of no consequence? Yeah - my house cost less than it would today. I was also making less.

Adjusted to inflation, housing prices are up by over 100% compared to income since the 70s. You may have made less, but your house cost a LOT less. The numbers are very clear on this: housing is the one thing where prices soared throughout the last forty years.

>you should try having no job prospects, hyperinflation and the possibility of having an early death and/ornasty PTSD after being forced to fight.

There was a less competitive workspace, the US never had hyperinflation, and the draft was something that influenced a small part of society who were usually poor anyways. I mean, it's not like getting a doctor to say "he's got bone spurs" was anything other than a matter of money.

Re: Not News For Nerds

[ranton]

Every word in your post is wrong. The trend of kids failing to launch has little or nothing to do with economics and everything to do with lazy parenting and kids who just don't have any desire for independence.

The first part of your post is at least close to correct, but your whole tirade about lazy parents and young adults is simply ignorant. There are many reasons why more kids are living with their parents and it is true that economics is not the only reason. Still a significant reason, with student loans growing rapidly and many essentials (housing, health care, etc) rising above inflation for decades, but not the only one. The simple fact that employed young adults are far less likely to live at home than unemployed ones shows economics is a large factor.

This article summarizes many of them. Young adults waiting longer to get married is one factor. But the most interesting one is that young adults simply have a much better relationship with their parents today than they did 30 years ago. One finding was that in 1986 half of parents reported speaking with their grown child in the past week, whereas in 2008 87% had. Many young adults don't feel the need to move out because they have a friendlier relationship than previous generations did.

My wife and her two siblings lived at home for around five years each after college. Not because of a failure to launch, as each had degrees and were employed in their chosen fields. They did it because it helped spring board their financial lives by saving for a full 20% down payment on their first home. My father in law took 75% of their take home pay for "rent" and put it in a savings account. So not every situation where kids live with their parents is a bad one.

Re:Not News For Nerds

[drinkypoo]

Yeah - my house cost less than it would today. I was also making less.

No. In real dollars, the average wage was higher. Maybe you are making more after inflation now than you were then, but many people are not. The minimum wage hasn't kept up with inflation in over two decades. Back then, it was holding its own. Since then, it hasn't been. So yes, things absolutely are worse now. Wages are lower in real dollars.

Re:There should be a law preventing such rulings.

[Dog-Cow]

Sometimes a deadbeat is a deadbeat entirely on his own. This kid graduated college. He's not uneducated, though it seems he hasn't bothered to learn much. His parents may share some of the blame, but sometimes, you have to grow up despite your parents, if you didn't grow up because of them.

Re:Ok heres why the parents messed up

[Kjella]

When you want to evict somebody for real, you do it legally to begin with dont fuck around. Dont try to serve the notice yourself or any of that bullshit. Or come up with your own arbitrary timeline. The kid was right initially, they cant evict him by typing some letter saying get out in 2 weeks. Thats not how it works people.

Except he doesn't pay rent, this is "evicting" the guy you let sleep in your spare bedroom for a few days but never leaves. Or your girlfriend kicking you out of her house and you go nope we had an "informal agreement" so I live here now until I'm evicted. Freebies end when the person giving it away wants it to end. When the time was up they should have put his things on the street and changed the lock. I doubt he'd have gotten anywhere in court, no consideration = no contract. No contract = you're a guest. Guests leave when they're asked to leave or they get kicked out.

Re:Missing the big picture

[tlhIngan]

Can you cite any actual real evidence that this is true? Both parents are more likely to work today than in the past, so kids are often left home alone. This means less supervision, the opposite of what you claim.

Well, here in Canada, the Ministry of Children and Family Development got interested in a case where a dad taught his kids how to be independent. Enough so that his eldest (12) can supervise the younger ones to take them to school... using public transit. Now he's under legal threat that if they catch his kids alone, even just to cross the street to go to the store to buy ice cream, they'd be apprehended into foster care.

https://www.theglobeandmail.co...

And yes, our public transit system is very good, and honestly, I took the bus alone as well (and I was even less experienced - the dad taught them the route, they had cellphones and everything, I had none of that).

It's actually sparked quite a bit of controversy - the kids were mature enough to take the bus by themselves, they attended the same school so it wasn't a problem of separation, etc. And now the government demands he hover over his kids - take the bus with them, walk to the store across the road with them to get something, etc.

Hell, I walked to school alone for a good stretch until my mom got a job and I had to go to a neighbour's house until it was time to leave for school. Getting a ride in the car was a small luxury - at the right time it was kicked out the door to walk to school.