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NASA May Sell Corporate Naming Rights For Rockets, Spacecraft (al.com)
schwit1 shares a report from Alabama Local News: NASA's administrator Jim Bridenstine has directed the space agency to look at boosting its brand by selling naming rights to rockets and spacecraft and allowing its astronauts to appear in commercials and on cereal boxes, as if they were celebrity athletes. While officials stress that nothing has been decided, the idea could mark a giant cultural leap for the taxpayer-funded government agency and could run into ethics regulations that prevent government officials from using public office for private gain.
"Is it possible for NASA to offset some of its costs by selling the naming rights to its spacecraft, or the naming rights to its rockets," Bridenstine said. "I'm telling you there is interest in that right now. The question is: Is it possible? The answer is: I don't know, but we want somebody to give us advice on whether it is." He also said he wanted astronauts to be not only more accessible to journalists but even to participate in marketing opportunities to boost their brands - and that of the space agency. "I'd like to see kids growing up, instead of maybe wanting to be like a professional sports star, I'd like to see them grow up wanting to be a NASA astronaut, or a NASA scientist," he said. "I'd like to see, maybe one day, NASA astronauts on the cover of a cereal box, embedded into the American culture."
"Is it possible for NASA to offset some of its costs by selling the naming rights to its spacecraft, or the naming rights to its rockets," Bridenstine said. "I'm telling you there is interest in that right now. The question is: Is it possible? The answer is: I don't know, but we want somebody to give us advice on whether it is." He also said he wanted astronauts to be not only more accessible to journalists but even to participate in marketing opportunities to boost their brands - and that of the space agency. "I'd like to see kids growing up, instead of maybe wanting to be like a professional sports star, I'd like to see them grow up wanting to be a NASA astronaut, or a NASA scientist," he said. "I'd like to see, maybe one day, NASA astronauts on the cover of a cereal box, embedded into the American culture."
Perfect brand for rocket.
imagine paying $25 million to slap your company name on the side of a space craft and have all articles and press releases required to mention it by its "proper" name, and disaster strikes. 8 dead, program set back 3 years to investigate. news reports flood the airwaves for months, always mentioning your company name in their reporting of the disaster. your brand will forever be known as a spacecraft that blew up and killed astronauts. history books would be written that way, too, because your name would be part of the name of the spacecraft. there would be no way to remove that association, none. history, nor the internet, will forget.
Too bad it's all crap made in China.
"I'd like to see kids growing up, instead of maybe wanting to be like a professional sports star, I'd like to see them grow up wanting to be a NASA astronaut, or a NASA scientist,"
Me too.
But if that happens because someone is appearing in commercials instead of news, then something is wrong on a much more fundamental level.
bickerdyke
I can think of few things tackier than trying to escape the confines of Earth carrying the colors of those that made it necessary to leave in the first place.
As a general rule, assume nobody cares about your logo or your brand, or whatever corporate bullshit you come up with to be culturally relevant. Even the interns manning the social media accounts are now shitpisting nihilistically.
"I'd like to see kids growing up, instead of maybe wanting to be like a professional sports star, I'd like to see them grow up wanting to be a NASA astronaut, or a NASA scientist,"
Small anecdote: I remember almost nothing from my early childhood except this trauma from when I was 5-6 years old:
Teacher asked us what we wanted to as grown up. Other kids said things like policeman, baker, etc. I said “astronaut!”. Teacher immediately replied “Impossible, you wear glasses!”
Looking back, while she was right, she shouldn’t have crushed an early childhood dream so quickly and thoroughly.
At this point, trying to monetize-by-branding the NASA brand smells of desperation. NASA used to be cool. Going to space used to be cool. But then they just sat there and did nothing of use*, and their brand and even their entire league withered. Now they're going "oh hey spacex is cool so let's make us cool again too!"
Yeah, no. You can only do so much with marketeering. You do have to have an actual product and/or service at some point.
* The space shuttle was supposed to be a shuttle, but it wasn't: 250 million dollars per launch and not even metric? Guise, please. Not to mention nasa's management's rather poor grasp of the risks involved. They *should* have worked at it until they could offer a price of 250 thousand dollars (per seat, if not per launch) at car-level accident rates, if not quite airline-level. They didn't. Now their show is over.
So now Bridenstine wants to take what NASA stands for and make it stand for anything else? The US Army could do the same with their uniforms. Make them like NASCAR outfits with logos and stuff (just as bright though, so they stand out). Judges could logo up their robes so we know who's paying for justice. We already pay for something that is supposed to stand for what is best in us, pushing at the final frontier. If the endeavor is not worth it, selling ads for chump change will make that clear.
Perfect brand for rocket.
I vote for Trojan Ultra Ribbed Ecstasy
I mean, great advertising material even if it explodes.
Think the idea is new? This joke is from back when the space race was on.
"General! The Soviets are on the moon! And they painted it red!"
"Fine. Load the next Apollo with white paint and have the crew paint "Coca Cola" all over it"
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Narco
Autistic
Sex
Acts
Rocket McRocketFace
Yeah, great American culture (I've to point out that there's not a whiff on irony in that: sad to have to say that!).
But before it can bloom again, this American culture, you'll have to get rid of Trump and all the sickness which made that possible. C'm on, Americans: show it to us. Show that you can. Make America great again!
Hallaloooooooyah!
Think of the interesting comments that will happen when a rocket named "Trump Towers" blows up on the launch pad! lol.
Is this going to be like that thing from the Jurrasic World movie where they had some kind of.... Verizon Wireless -saurus Rex or whatever?
"When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."
Cyrillic, anyone?
For the love of God tell me this is 4/1 or the Onion.
Please
I am of the generation that watched the landings and worshiped Neil Armstrong. This makes me ill.
We keep cutting nasas budget. They don't DO anything but come up with really stupid shit anymore.
Also... what rockets? We don't have anything anymore.
sell naming and branding rights for individual pieces of military equipment. Send that materiel out looking like nascar, and we could have been way more honest in 2003 with a bunch of haliburton logos on everything.
With this announcement, I'm done with "space". I hereby cease to give a flying fuck about NASA. Just the fact that they're CONSIDERING it... fuck them. I'll take this a step further... I don't give a completely sedentary, ground-based fuck, let alone a flying fuck, about anything they're doing from now on.
Soon as exploration for profit occurs... -sigh- Want to see an example of exploration for profit: look no further than the colonization of the so-called "new world".
Soon...
NASA: Hey, look we're...
ME: Fuck off, NASA, brought to you by Whoever-The-Fuck.
On the off chance NASA gives a damn about public perception of it, NASA's stock just took, with me, a 10,000% nosedive straight into Shitsville.
Our reign has gone on long enough. Indeed. Summon the meteors.
If they open up corporate naming, I suspect this will not be far behind.
Starting from the top -- Cony McConeFace
I leave the remainder to Slashdotters
I expect we will see the Google Lincoln Memorial and the Apple Washington Monument.
Starships were meant to fly, Hands up and touch the sky - Nicky Minaj
Victoria's Secret
Astronauts are more valuable members of society than people running around and kicking or throwing balls in a field.
You want to play sports? Fine. The fact that it became what it is now is proof that a huge percentage of the human race is still stupid.
#DeleteFacebook
'Branding' is right up there with social media in terms of accelerating social decay. The level of insight behind this move is so low it's impossible to measure.
NASA doesn't actually have any rockets to put logos on!
Sounds like a bad idea to name one after your company. Except when you are Samsung, then there is no longer any way it might turn in bad PR after exploding smartphones.
A lot of kids want to be sports stars because, from a role model perspective, endorsements is one of their main avenues of awareness. I, for one, would like to see Astronauts on the cereal box instead of promotion of some random sports figure.
Coming soon...the Offworld Colonies
Errr... NASA is a "brand" ?
that's a pretty cunning stunt right there
First time hearing that spoonerism. Well done, good sir.
...that we aren't actually a country. All we are is a container for corporations. The veneer is coming off, being discarded shamelessly. No one even pretends anymore.
E Proelio Veritas.
One Billieeeeeon dollars!
And a clause that "Trump" can NEVER, EVER, be on the side or involved.
I find it offensive the way that stadiums are named after corporate sponsors. If you want the money, just tax them.
We all know something like this would be tried and I for one would love to watch news casters try to say it with a straight face.
-- Slashdot, making the Left look conservative since 1997.
"When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks.”
Blasty McRocketFace
The people have spoken.
Brought to you by Carls Jr.
So who da %(*@#/ paid for the uniforms from the original series and especially TMP? A much more sensible sponsor is responsible for TWOK, obviously.
C'mon, y'all know it was coming...
Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade for Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems for Home, Office or Mobile [sic]
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
Extra big a$$ boosters
Now with more molecules
Brought to you by Car's Jr
Before they can start plastering adverts on a rocket they need an actual rocket. What are they going to put this on? SLS? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Good one.
Life imitates art.
I wouldn't recommend it. Too much chance of unexpected baggage becoming attached to the naming, which could hurt either NASA or the company that sold its name.
Suppose 3 months ago, NASA had named a rocket the "Nike" rocket. It seemed perfectly safe and harmless 3 months ago. But today, NASA would be tied up in the Colin Kaepernick controversy.
Suppose Company XYZ sold its name to a rocket, which later on blew up. Then that explosion would be known as the "Company XYZ disaster".
Let's get that GoFundMe started!
Also lets get it on some super important mission. Only to see some super serious news anchor try to get though the historic writing, only to throw his papers in the air on live TV to exclaim "Fsck it I quit, this is ridiculous!". Would also make for good political speeches.
"On this day, a day unlike any other, the intrepid Rocket McRocketFace arches onward and upward on this historic mission, indeed the whole world is looking skyward in pride of human achievement that Rocket McRocketFace has enabled to happen.... etc..."
dammit... just saw a bunch of posts with the same subject, little surprise I guess...
Consider the real world possibilities. The Waste Management Uranus Probe. What about foreign powers? United States Lunar Base Putin. China doesn't have to build the Long March 12, they can just buy the naming rights to an American built missile.
Might as well let billionaires bid for the right to have their ugly mugs on the currency. Larry Elson would pay a billion dollars to have his face on a $50 bill. Goldman-Sachs or Bank of America would big bucks to have their logo on a quarter.
Just go all out: pay enough and you get to rename the country. If you're going to be a whore go all the way.
Why is Snark Required?
Perhaps there is hope for reviving "Boaty McBoatface".
How about a Leafly-branded SpaceX booster painted to look like a joint?
Possibly a contender for SpaceX. After all, Elon is such a big dick.
It probably won't go farther than your asteroids.
NASA was limping before either of the shuttle disasters. The biggest disaster was the cost overruns before the first shuttle was even completed. It just went downhill from there.
Of course the CEO was not involved. He was too busy trying to blame people for the rocket that exploded on the launchpad---even though it exploded because of a design flaw. http://fortune.com/2016/10/01/... https://www.popularmechanics.c...
So russians will probably do this first actually.
How long before we Potcoin sponsoring Dennis Rodman flying on a north korean rocket then?