Thieves Who Stole GPS Tracking Devices Were Caught Within Hours (nbc4i.com)

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Thieves Who Stole GPS Tracking Devices Were Caught Within Hours (nbc4i.com)

Posted by EditorDavid on Sunday September 23, 2018 @01:34AM from the crime-of-the-century dept.

"These devices kind of look like cell phone chargers, so they probably thought they had some kind of street value," said the co-founder of Roambee, a shipping-monitoring services company, in a classic story shared by Iwastheone: [He's] talking about the hundred or so GPS tracking devices that were stolen recently from the company's Dela Cruz Avenue labs. "The moment we realized they had a box of trackers, we went into recovery mode," Subramanian said. "We notified the police and equipped them to track the devices, and in about 5 or 6 hours, it was done...." It wasn't long before the police were using Roambee's software to locate the devices and the thieves. "We were able to pinpoint the location of these trackers to a warehouse in Union City and two of the devices had gone mobile, and the thieves were driving around with them in the East Bay," Subramanian said. The two men were arrested in Alameda.
Before stealing 100 battery-powered GPS-tracking devices, one of the thieves also grabbed a beer out of the office refrigerator -- and cut themselves -- leaving behind both fingerprints and an actual blood sample.

The company is now using this 2017 episode as an instructive case study. "Roambee wirelessly synced with all 100 devices and remotely set them to stealth mode (so there's no blinking LEDs to alert the thieves) and then switched the location reporting intervals from once every hour to once every minute."

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I always suspected this by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 01:44 · Score: 0, Insightful

hand the cops everything they need to do their job on a silver platter and it still takes them 6 hours. Sounds about right. Probably had to stop for donuts and to shake down some black kids.
1. Re:I always suspected this by Applehu+Akbar · 2018-09-23 01:54 · Score: 1, Troll
  
  That shouldn't have consumed six hours, though. They probably shot someone at random and had to fill out paperwork.
2. Re:I always suspected this by olsmeister · 2018-09-23 02:01 · Score: 1
  
  Don't you watch movies or TV? You want to wait to see if they lead you to the boss man.
3. Re:I always suspected this by b0s0z0ku · 2018-09-23 03:18 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Cops SHOULD be forced to act slowly by the need for warrants, etc. I'd rather a few people who steal from tech firms get away than cops be allowed to act rashly, kick down the wrong door, and maybe shoot the wrong person (or get mistaken for an intruder and shot, as just happened in Maryland). Human life is more important than some GPS tracking bugs.
4. Re: I always suspected this by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 03:56 · Score: 0
  
  It does show how inadequate the current speed of Law enforcement is, though I suspect they needed to get a warrant at some point and thatâ(TM)s often why police canâ(TM)t just chase down a suspect into a building unless they saw them enter it themselves.
5. Re:I always suspected this by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:34 · Score: 0
  
  What the hell are you going on about here?
  How are they going to kick down the wrong door when they're following GPS tracking devices? Unless someone plants them on the property of someone who never stole them?
  I can guarantee you that if someone on an ankle monitor goes into a location where they do not belong, the cops will be all over that guy in a matter of minutes. It took six hours because the cops were lazy, not because they were deliberating carefully to protect any innocents.
  Face it, you just don't want cops to do their jobs, period. Unless it involves persecuting your enemies.
6. Re: I always suspected this by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 13:07 · Score: 0
  
  I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you are a troll. The other alternative is that you are so ignorant it boggles the mind.
7. Re:I always suspected this by sjames · 2018-09-23 19:43 · Score: 1
  
  In this case, I'm not sure what they would need a warrant for since they didn't plant the trackers on the suspects and the victim was more than willing to turn over the information needed to read the tracker location.
  As for not shooting people and such, that is a matter of appropriate tactical training and takes no longer than doing it the wrong way. Either way, no warrant is required to do it the right way.
8. Re:I always suspected this by thegarbz · 2018-09-24 00:08 · Score: 1
  
  No cops should act carefully and preserve life and process. That does not mean they should be slow. The rest of the world has no problem with fast cops executing the people who called for help in the first place.
9. Re:I always suspected this by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 02:06 · Score: 0
  
  Entering someones property without their permission requires a warrant. Yes, even if you have evidence literally telling you it's there. Now, obtaining that warrant in such a case should be trivial, but I'd still rather live in a world where such procedure is required.
This slashvertisement is convenient by drinkypoo · 2018-09-23 01:46 · Score: 5, Insightful

I want to buy a cellular-based tracker with its own GPS module and battery. There are absolutely loads of them on the market. I do not intend to use central monitoring, and instead I would like the location SMS to go directly to my Android phone, where I would like to have an app which plots it on a map. Ideally, the app would allow me to change the reporting frequency. Can anyone suggest a good one, preferably from a company which doesn't astroturf?

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
1. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by DanDD · 2018-09-23 02:13 · Score: 3, Informative
  
  If your use is non-commercial, you can use APRS. There are Android apps for cell phones, and numerous devices, some tiny, suitable for embedding. You'll need a ham radio license, which for this community should be little more than a minor formality.
  The network to receive and map positions is global. See:
  https://aprs.fi/
  
  --
  "Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race." - H. G. Wells
2. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 02:16 · Score: 0
  
  Aliexpress - expect to pay no more than USD 9 delivered. Sort by lowest price first. Or try Amazon. Less for bluetooth ones.
  The flaw in the astroturf ad is that these devices were charged, switched on and had a sim fitted. Right.
  Most decent criminals these days carry a frequency counter with detects all transmitting devices and call home phones/computers and even spy cameras/silent alarms. Does this device have a CVE with admin credentials or admin/password cause then it has negative value.
3. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by SuperKendall · 2018-09-23 04:07 · Score: 2
  
  The flaw in the astroturf ad is that these devices were charged, switched on and had a sim fitted. Right.
  That's what really had me baffled, a whole case of them already powered on? It seems like they would have maybe had a sim preinstalled on assembly, but no way would power have been enabled until delivery. To give them the benefit of the doubt maybe the case was about to be handed over to a customer...
  Most decent criminals these days carry a frequency counter with detects all transmitting devices
  So here's a serious question, could devices like that detect a cellular enabled device that wasn't transmitting data, only receiving? So the real question here is could a latent device that needed to receive a signal to activate be detected just by being connected to the cell network. I was thinking there must be some kind of traffic as a device moved between towers so there might be something that could be detected.
  
  --
  "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
4. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 04:32 · Score: 0
  
  You're no Sherlock Holmes. No, most decent criminals these days DO NOT carry a frequency counter that can "detect all transmitting devices".
5. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by www.sorehands.com · 2018-09-23 05:14 · Score: 1
  
  Decent criminals don't get caught!
  These guys are the poster boys for Dumbass enhancement statutes and forced sterilization. Keep them out of the gene pool.
  
  --
  Fight Spammers!
6. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 05:25 · Score: 1
  
  Technically receivers cannot be detected - unless they have a leaky mixer or downconverter stage, or if a SDR. a pickup in CPU activity may give a sign. This is how police used to find out if you had a radar detector fitted, for superhets.
  If money is less of an issue, security services use a junction detector for inactive devices or salted with diode junctions.
  Or a spectrum analyzer, which can also decode packets, and set to concentrate on local signals.
  I find if you place your mobile on top of an AM radio, every time it polls you clearly hear buzzes - try it. try to get an old discrete transistor model, not some fancy IC thingy. Practically there are cell packets which will mostly force a response(transmit) that is tightly held.
  A cheaper way is a cellular jammer designed to cause active polling after a signal drop. - but those have disadvantages.
  If Bluetooth, you can poll with a utility, to discover open devices.
7. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Aighearach · 2018-09-23 06:12 · Score: 1
  
  Since you don't want astroturf I won't offer to answer your question, but I will point out that you'll need to learn to do it yourself, and then get far enough into the project to hit some sort of wall, before getting useful answers online. Up to that point, it is all going to be artificial turf. And when you get there; stack overflow if you're doing it on a full system like rpi, stack exchange if you're doing it on a microcontroller. (micros go into the EE section rather than programming)
8. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Aighearach · 2018-09-23 06:25 · Score: 1
  
  Most consumer devices are "powered on" from either the moment the battery pack is powered on, or when they're plugged in. They have two states; full power, and low power. Neither of those states is unpowered.
  If it has a battery and you didn't even open the case, you definitely have never seen it "off" unless it no longer is functioning. Typically that happens when the device isn't charged and the battery low voltage protection level is reached. Then it requires a simple fix involving a bench power supply, but most people just throw the device away at that point.
9. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by ledow · 2018-09-23 07:11 · Score: 1
  
  Buy a cheap $30 thing off Amazon. Stick a pay-as-you-go SIM in it, with data.
  The last one I bought (TK103 - cheap chinese stuff) has GPS and GSM, an internal battery, is just a black-box you fit anywhere in your car, and comes with a bunch of relays for cutting off fuel pumps etc. (if you're into that), a mic for recording the in-car conversation, a button to press to send an emergency text (with location) to a pre-set number, etc.
  You just send it text commands from your phone and you can track it (live is tricky without some software knowledge), ask for a one-off location (it sends you a google maps link), ring it to hear the in-car chatter, or send it a text command to cut off the relays, etc..
  Literally cheap electronic store junk nowadays. I've had one on my car for about 10 years now.
10. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Ol+Olsoc · 2018-09-23 10:40 · Score: 1
  
  If your use is non-commercial, you can use APRS. There are Android apps for cell phones, and numerous devices, some tiny, suitable for embedding. You'll need a ham radio license, which for this community should be little more than a minor formality.
  The network to receive and map positions is global. See:
  https://aprs.fi/
  APRS is a very nice tracking system. I've used it in the past to send location of race participants - such as a bicycle race, where I would travel behind the last rider, and then report the location automatically. You need digipeaters to insure good coverage, which can be set up portably. But worth the effort. They have ground truth of the last riders, the meal people can get an idea of arrival times of the last group, and if an ambulance or sag wagon is needed, an actual location is right there in lat-lon format.
  
  --
  The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
11. Re:This slashvertisement is convenient by Agripa · 2018-09-24 13:34 · Score: 1
  
  Technically receivers cannot be detected - unless they have a leaky mixer or downconverter stage, or if a SDR. a pickup in CPU activity may give a sign. This is how police used to find out if you had a radar detector fitted, for superhets.
  Leakage of the local oscillator frequency from the receiver can almost always be detected even at a short distance. A couple of times I did fox hunts of low duty cycle transmitters where I checked and found the local oscillator frequency.
  The RF amplifier is often added just to suppress local oscillator leakage but it only has to do so to meet FCC part 15 requirements.
qcom by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 01:46 · Score: 0

When I worked for qcom in their trucking division. There was nothing more fun than tracking down a stolen load. The tech was developed in Brazil. They are a bit more aggressive there. The stick a shotgun in the window and take the truck.
Found him! by burhop · 2018-09-23 02:03 · Score: 4, Funny

"I never thought they would find me", said Waldo, after stealing 100 already activated GPS's. "People have been looking for this guy for years", said the FBI.
1. Re:Found him! by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 02:48 · Score: 0
  
  You know what's really lazy.
  Repeating the same shit over and over again.
  Though some pertain that doing this, means you're insane.
  for the majority though, it means you're a lazy ass boring fuck with a tiny dick, who still lives in his moma's basement.
  caption = teachers
2. Re:Found him! by antdude · 2018-09-23 08:59 · Score: 1
  
  And Carmen San Diego was smart not to steal them! ;)
  
  --
  Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Staged by maxrate · 2018-09-23 02:03 · Score: 2

Sounds like this was set up to get some publicity!
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by PopeRatzzo · 2018-09-23 02:19 · Score: 5, Funny

Sorry to threadjack your beautiful ASCII art, but I found a more important issue to raise.

"Before stealing 100 battery-powered GPS-tracking devices, one of the thieves also grabbed a beer out of the office refrigerator -- and cut themselves -- leaving behind both fingerprints"
BOTH fingerprints? I'm envisioning lobster-like theives here. Are we sure they weren't exposed to mutagens whilst raiding other laboratories!?
It would be a shame by bobstreo · 2018-09-23 02:21 · Score: 3, Insightful

if Amazon didn't use this kind of thing for their lazy thieving Logistics "delivery service"
Nice ad for Roambee by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · 2018-09-23 02:27 · Score: 4, Informative

Trouble is, I find astroturfing despicable.
So, if anybody is interested in GPS devices that phone home and let you recover your property with or without a central server, I wholeheartedly recommend Mictrack products: I personally use the MT600 in all my vehicles with great success, and despite being a Chinese company, their customer support is top-notch. And believe me, I've tried a lot of GPS trackers before settling on this company.
There. I'm hoping this will provide some advertising balance...

--
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
1. Re:Nice ad for Roambee by drinkypoo · 2018-09-23 03:49 · Score: 1
  
  That product is listed on Amazon for $150, which is a bit spendy. For that kind of money, I could just buy a cellphone. The listing also says something about a server which is free for a year, then costs $5/yr. The cost is not a problem, but I don't want to be dependent on someone else's servers. Can I just send the data to my own server, or is it locked to theirs?
  
  --
  "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
2. Re:Nice ad for Roambee by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 03:52 · Score: 0
  
  At least it isn't for Apple this time. That would kind of be overload at this point.
3. Re:Nice ad for Roambee by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · 2018-09-24 01:06 · Score: 1
  
  You can use your own server - and on a dynamically-allocated IP too. That too is a major selling point for me, and why I chose the Mictrack devices. I use a plain-jane Traccar server which recognizes the Mictrack protocol just fine.
  
  --
  "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 02:35 · Score: 0

It is amusing to watch stories jump form Reddit /r/todayilearned/ to slashdot.
The interesting part of the story to me is that the devices can be remotely programmed and are not just one-way send only
1. Re:Fresh from TIL by Iwastheone · 2018-09-23 07:11 · Score: 1
  
  That's exactly where I got it from, copy/pasted/submitted it here because I dig /., I used to go by the handle "sternishefan". BTW, I am not this Creimer person.
2. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:07 · Score: 0
  
  No, you're Tardchris. :)
3. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:09 · Score: 0
  
  Hey Chris! :)
  Granny PottyMouth click-bots are crap. My click-bots are much more AI advanced, they will leave comments on your channel and add likes so the hack isn't as obvious.
  Just send me the comments as you would like them to appear, exemples:
  "Great video C.D., keep on the good work"
  "This is the best video I have seen on YouTube, amazing! Thumbs up"
  etc. etc.
  Contact me instead and forget about Granny PottyMouth!
4. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:13 · Score: 0
  
  Here is what is much worse than laziness alone; some people are lazy and stupid
  For example, take creimer and his stupid and dead youtube channel that was supposed to be his long tail revenue stream for his retirement.
  He has been told several times that he should finish his certifications instead but he is too lazy to do that and he finds it easier to post stupid stuff on YouTube.
  Since nobody watches his stupid stuff. He decided to publish a border line kid video that he filmed himself. Then he posted in various forums, faking outrage to bring views to his channel arguing with himself with different sock puppets names.
  Here is basically what it looked like:
  creimer wrote:
  https://slashdot.org/comments....
  
  Have you seen creimer's children band video [youtu.be]? Holy shit! That video got hundreds of view [twitter.com] with 95% coming from outside of the United States and the top three nations are well known for sex tourism. It doesn't surprise me that Slashdot has so many pedobears.
  and:
  https://slashdot.org/comments....
  
  No. Thanks to YOU for calling me a pedophile. It has become my best performing video in the first 24 hours to date. All those views came from OUTSIDE the United States. Ukraine being 11% of the total.
  and:
  https://slashdot.org/comments....
  
  Thanks to your Pedobear buddies, I got 25 hours of watch time in three days and coming in second to my Slashdot video with 30 hours of watch time in six months. Keep up the good work!
  So basically creimer, you are bragging about providing video material to pedophiles and sex tourists and you do not see any problems with it as long as it brings views to your youtube channel.
  Poor Chris, sad, very sad...
  How long will it be before you do the right thing and take that video off line?
  update: see creimer's replies here:
  https://tech.slashdot.org/comm...
  https://news.slashdot.org/comm...
  https://slashdot.org/comments....
  https://tech.slashdot.org/comm...
5. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:18 · Score: 0
  
  I'm going to use my Christmas bonus in December to buy an iPhone XR instead.
  Great move creimer! So you are going to go straight from an iPhone 6 "special education" to an iPhone 10 "retard"?
  Great move creimer, great move...
6. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:25 · Score: 0
  
  CROFLOL! hilarious!
  Chris' iPhone 6 SE
7. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:31 · Score: 0
  
  Exactly, the iPhone 6 "special education" is jam packed with special features for creimer like people!
  For the iPhone 10 release, Apple has decided to be more straight forward and they just call it the iPhone 10 "retard". It is meant to replace the "special education" version indeed.
8. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:41 · Score: 0
  
  I'm going to use my Christmas bonus in December to buy an iPhone XR instead.
  creimer, you lying sack of shit! What happened to you getting free iPhones from Sprint????
  
  Also, I still use my iPhone 6s and reduce my monthly bill from $80 to $50. As a phone and a video camera, the iPhone 6s isn't obsolete and I use it to make my videos on youtube. As a Sprint very special customer for 20+ years, Sprint will always give me a new iPhone for free if I decide to stop using the 6s as a phone in the next several years.
9. Re: Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:52 · Score: 0
  
  Tardchris. Nice!
  It's dumber than it looks.
  Its sadder on the inside.
  Child Diddling Retard, original or not, #sad
  But yeah, that lying ass and the anti-apk spammer (if the former isn't also the latter) are the worst type of trolls. Unfunny.
10. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 10:59 · Score: 0
  
  Found the Android user. O_o
11. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 11:02 · Score: 0
  
  _,--=#[The Post CRIMER aka The Original CDR doesn't want you to read!!!]#=--,_ 1)Why-are-people-upset-with-him? 2)What-can-I-do 3)What-are-his-names 4)Who-is-FatCashewsLovesMe 5)How-to-defeat-his-hustles 6)Why-are-there-dashes 7)Pastebin-Copy
  1)Why-are-people-upset-with-himHe makes frequent low quality posts for two reasons:
  Money) BASICALLY: He made thousands of shitty posts & bragged about how much money it made him.
  DETAILS: He wants u to folow his referer links & pick up his cookie. Even if u dont buy what he linked but do buy something else from that site later on he often makes money;He ALSO tries to drive TRAFFIC to his various BLOGS & vlogs.
  Karma)He believes karma acumulates infinitely So he makes lots of pointles posts that r not bad enough to mod down;hoping they wil get moded up;He was a raging ahole when he thoght he had a karma surplus
  2)What-can-I-do DOWNMOD u wil usually get more mod points. If he is postng from a new sock acount w/ krma, get his oldst posts first. DOWNMOD him and AC in fresh thrads early on;Metmods wil reward u. METAMOD his posts. REPLY ONLY ANONYMOUSLY to the most deeply nested coments in his threds it helps hide his posts. Dwnvote his SUBMISSIONS, he uses to get krma. REPORT HIM to slshdot & the afiliate progrms he is usng. DONT MENTION his brand names c**mer.
  3)What-are-his-namesMost famous:The Original CDR, Cre|mer Cdre|mer ILoveFatCashews, Anonymous Cashews, The Fat Bastard aka TCDR
  4)Who-is-FatCashewsLoveMe AKA Tardu Lardo,FCLM Funny & anoying; Not me or crimer;He keeps lookout for infestation
  5)How-can-I-avoid-his-hustles --===DONT FOLLOW HIS LINKS!!!===--
  IF YOU MUST:Use a privte tab & nevr buy anything on the same sesion. If he fools u, close tab, cler the cookies for that site. There r sites other than yutube that wil let u watch his videos. I dont know if people view his contnt but I can pictre his jowls jigling at the thoght of people subvrting his business model
  6)Why-are-there-dashes & weird stuffI know most only skim thse posts. I want the most imprtnt infrmton to pop out at a glnce & to keep it shrt. I dont use TCDRs name becase he may think tht he benfits from geting it indxed by serch engnes. Id like 2 thnk TCDR & FCLM for editrial advice
  7)Copy: http://archive.is/TtDrY
12. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 11:38 · Score: 0
  
  Found the creimer shitmot. O_o
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
  Cryptofeces Lepidoptera Creimerus infestation is a serious problem. Not only are they capable of reproducing asexually like amoebas, they can also lay eggs hermaphroditically in unexpected places. They can disguise eggs as something useful to fool the unaware, sometimes pretending to be a haiku author, blogger, vlogger, or IT closet cleaner.
  Very dangerous. They can seemingly reproduce out of the cosmic background radiation, even if you step on twelve of them, there's always one you miss.
  Don't be fooled by the C. Lepidoptera Creimerus's innocuous, rolly-polly, and almost friendly appearance; despite its great size, stupid demeanor, and bedraggled toothless appearance, they have the hardiness of a tardigrade.
  Only a concerted, targeted downmodding campaign has been shown effective in controlling this dangerous pest.
  Experience shows that stopping such a campaign leads to C. Lepidoptera Creimerus returning within days.
  Don't let it happen again!
  --
  the biggest looser on Slashdot
13. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 01:20 · Score: 0
  
  Shouldn't you be ass fucking APK instead of posting to slashdot to build your personal brand?
14. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 09:13 · Score: 0
  
  What makes you say that?
15. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 09:42 · Score: 0
  
  Because you started as a disorganized fat quitter and you reinvented yourself as a disorganized fat quitter?
16. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 11:26 · Score: 0
  
  Hahahhaah creimer:
  SPAM: AN ORAL HISTORY OF APPLE'S INFINITE LOOP
  damn are you ever stupid!
  Tardeau_Lardeau is right: your Youtube channel is dead as well.
  Finish your certifications instead Chris!
17. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 11:34 · Score: 0
  
  Hey Chris! I left you a comment on your Santa Yoda Funko Pop youtube page. Why did you delete it instead of nicely replying to me?
  How do you plan to build an audience if you delete all comments except your own and your sock puppet ones???
  Using Granny Potty mouth click-bots isn't going to really help you build an audience!
18. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 12:05 · Score: 0
  
  SPAM: AN ORAL HISTORY OF APPLE'S INFINITE LOOP
  
  Chris,
  I believe that you really need some advice so here I go:
  I suggest you submit this story instead:
  AN ANAL HISTORY OF CREIMER, BEES, HIS UNCLE AND A BUCKET OF LARD
  
  Hahahhaah creimer:
  SPAM: AN ORAL HISTORY OF APPLE'S INFINITE LOOP
  damn are you ever stupid!
  Tardeau_Lardeau is right: your Youtube channel is dead as well.
  Finish your certifications instead Chris!
19. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 12:29 · Score: 0
  
  The big dummy refuses any kind of advice from anyone and just blindly plows ahead.
  The worst part is the few times I thought I saw the real Chris he was pretty interesting, but he immediately goes back to his silly preoccupations and projects that no one cares about.
20. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 18:49 · Score: 0
  
  "Random ass comments from Slashdot will? ROFL"
  You're right, a fat man with a speech impediment teaching us about Roman numerals and three minutes of a Christmas Yoda doll with Christmas music will!
21. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 19:10 · Score: 0
  
  It's called search friendly content. Pronouncing the iPhone X is still an issue today as it was a year ago. As for Santa Yoda, the holiday-themed Star Wars Funko POP! has a 10/5/2018 release date and my video was the first unboxing on YouTube. Believe it or not, some people care about the content more than the messenger.
22. Re:Fresh from TIL by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-25 02:20 · Score: 0
  
  What valuable content, Chris.
  Download and install Keywords Everywhere for Chrome and Firefox. This extension will give you the search volume and CPC for a particular search phrase, say, "how to pronounce the iPhone X". A search friendly content strategy should be data driven.
Nice "news" by Dwedit · 2018-09-23 02:57 · Score: 4, Insightful

Read the date on this one: June 7 2017.
1. Re:Nice "news" by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 03:16 · Score: 0
  
  Was on the top of reddit TIL yesterday
2. Re:Nice "news" by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 02:52 · Score: 0
  
  So?
  Slashdot is for news, not reddit TILs.
GPS Tracking by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 03:52 · Score: 0

Where they being tracked?
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by DRJlaw · 2018-09-23 03:56 · Score: 1

Sorry to threadjack your beautiful ASCII art, but I found a more important issue to raise.

"Before stealing 100 battery-powered GPS-tracking devices, one of the thieves also grabbed a beer out of the office refrigerator -- and cut themselves -- leaving behind both fingerprints [and an actual blood sample.]"
BOTH fingerprints?
Yes, cutting "and an actual blood sample" off from "leaving behind both fingerprints and an actual blood sample" creates a potentially hilarious grammar error that was not present in TFS.

"I'm envisioning lobster"
Lobster don't have fingerprints. Ha! Hilarious...
C'MON SLASHDOT EDITORS?!? by Notabadguy · 2018-09-23 04:17 · Score: 1

Dear Slashdot:
We are used to getting week old news that you scraped from other news sites days after they left the headlines.
This story is more than a year old. FROM THE OP.
If you want to push the boundaries of credibility, at least push the limits. Here are a few sample headlines you might try.
"NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE COBOL POISED TO SWEEP THE DEVELOPMENT INDUSTRY"
Or if you want to add a slashdot editor stamp of approval to that headline with some grammatical mistakes, you could try this:
"NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE COBOL PISSED TO SWEET THE DEVELOPMENT INDUSTRY"
C'mon, up the ante here.
Wtf? by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 04:25 · Score: 0

What a group of fucking morons too stupid to live.
Also a good reminder... by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 04:55 · Score: 0

...that you don't really own devices you buy these days. They all come with backdoor and stealth mode.
1. Re:Also a good reminder... by Iwastheone · 2018-09-23 08:08 · Score: 2
  
  Agreed, in my day if I wanted to 'get lost', I could do it. Just walk or drive somewhere and I couldn't be found unless I wanted to be found. The way tech has ballooned into "no one has a private life" anymore is very strange and alien to me. Humans are adaptable I know, but this life is changing fast. I do feel bad for the newer generations who'll never know that feeling of full privacy.
  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
2. Re:Also a good reminder... by Mr+Foobar · 2018-09-23 08:19 · Score: 1
  
  Yea, sure, Don Draper...
  
  --
  -> I dislike sigs...
3. Re:Also a good reminder... by Iwastheone · 2018-09-23 10:28 · Score: 1
  
  I swear I'm not lying. If I am, may God strike down my mother while giving birth to me and my my father be killed from a kick by a spooked horse!
  Oh, wait...
4. Re:Also a good reminder... by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-24 09:00 · Score: 0
  
  I don't know what you think or who you think I am but I am not the creamer guy that you guys always are answering back and forth about. I had to look up on Wiki about Don Draper cuz I don't watch these shows, now get off my lawn please! ;^)
Important unanswered question by 93+Escort+Wagon · 2018-09-23 06:04 · Score: 2

How did the police find and arrest these guys without unfettered, complete access to the unencrypted content of their cell phones?

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#DeleteChrome
1. Re:Important unanswered question by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 16:37 · Score: 0
  
  How did the police find and arrest these guys without unfettered, complete access to the unencrypted content of their cell phones?
  This is an old report: : Jun 07, 2017 09:06 PM EDT
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by Aighearach · 2018-09-23 06:08 · Score: 1

Wait, wait, are you saying that AND isn't optional?!? Z0mg! Who knew?!
try same thing with laptop/phone by citizenr · 2018-09-23 06:57 · Score: 1

Cops will tell you there arent any units available at the moment, even if you have a live location of a thief.

--
Who logs in to gdm? Not I, said the duck.
1. Re:try same thing with laptop/phone by viperidaenz · 2018-09-23 08:54 · Score: 1
  
  They'll also need to wait for a warrant.
Re:why are 'murkins so stupid? by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 07:16 · Score: 1

What's the deal with 'murkins being so stupid, is it GMO? Excessive growth hormones in food? Narcissism? Greed? Cultural bankruptcy? Puritanism?
I'm not sure if you are listing causes or evidence.
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by pslytely+psycho · 2018-09-23 08:33 · Score: 2

It was DR. ZOIDBERG!!!!!

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Donald Trump, on a crusade to make Nixon look respectable
Stupid criminals vs smart criminals by reboot246 · 2018-09-23 10:03 · Score: 1

Stupid criminals steal GPS trackers.
Smart criminals run for office.
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by Ol+Olsoc · 2018-09-23 10:34 · Score: 1

Lobster don't have fingerprints. Ha! Hilarious...
Why not Zoidberg?

--
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
Re: I *LOVE* TRUMP! by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-23 20:25 · Score: 0

Only people in the bay area are this fucking naive/stupid.
There are dumb criminals... by Pezbian · 2018-09-24 01:42 · Score: 1

... and then there are criminals like these.
I guarantee FARK is having a field day with this one, assuming they're aware of it.

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In a world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king--and the two-eyed man is a heretic.
Comment removed by account_deleted · 2018-09-24 08:05 · Score: 0

Comment removed based on user account deletion
Comment removed by account_deleted · 2018-09-25 01:14 · Score: 0

Comment removed based on user account deletion
I came out of the closet by Anonymous Coward · 2018-09-25 18:53 · Score: 0

You may have fun reading this:
https://slashdot.org/comments....
I came out of the closet. CROFLOL!
captcha: scheme CROFLOL! CROFLOL! CROFLOL!