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Tinder-Style App For Cows Tries To Help the Meat Market (bbc.com)

Posted by msmash on from the times,-they-are-changin' dept.

So you think the dating scene is like a meat market? Well, wait till you hear about the latest matchmaking app. From a report: Following the example of Tinder, UK farming start-up Hectare has launched its own equivalent for livestock and called it Tudder. The app features data profiles of animals from 42,000 UK farms in an effort to help farmers find the perfect breeding partner for their cattle. Farmers can view pictures of bulls or cows and swipe right to show interest. Hectare Agritech, which also runs online grain marketplace Graindex, says its aim is "reinventing farm trading - and making farmers' lives easier". It says it has raised more than $3.8 million from investors and organisations, including grant funding from government schemes, while tennis player Andy Murray is listed as one of its investors.

62 comments

  1. Locked out from anything modern... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Everything is an "app" these days. An "app" runs exclusively on these surveillance devices that no sane person would ever buy or keep around them. So I'm locked out. The "emulators" are useless because they all require "phone verification" that requires a physical phone. And the emulators themselves are full of spyware as well. It's a nightmare.

    1. Re: Locked out from anything modern... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sounds like an opportunity to build an app make connections anonymous.

    2. Re:Locked out from anything modern... by mad7777 · · Score: 1

      You could probably use a cheap(ish) no-name tablet instead. At least you can be assured these apps don't have access to your call history, and, since you didn't sign a mobile contract, your identity is safe.
      Of course, Apple can make this impossible, as they restrict apps to certain types of devices. Android doesn't do this (yet).

      --
      Might makes right irrelevant.
    3. Re:Locked out from anything modern... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I guess you'll just have to find cows to fuck the old fashioned way... wandering around in a farmer's field after dark.

  2. Wales by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There's a joke about Wales and sheep in there.

    1. Re:Wales by The+Original+CDR · · Score: 0

      I was thinking New Zealand. Sheep outnumber people ten to one there. Plenty of dating opportunities.

    2. Re:Wales by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And I was thinking football player! (Hint: you can think *about* a football player or New Zealand but you definitely can't think New Zealand)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

      Cryptofeces Lepidoptera Creimerus infestation is a serious problem. Not only are they capable of reproducing asexually like amoebas, they can also lay eggs hermaphroditically in unexpected places. They can disguise eggs as something useful to fool the unaware, sometimes pretending to be a haiku author, blogger, vlogger, or IT closet cleaner.

      Very dangerous. They can seemingly reproduce out of the cosmic background radiation, even if you step on twelve of them, there's always one you miss.

      Don't be fooled by the C. Lepidoptera Creimerus's innocuous, rolly-polly, and almost friendly appearance; despite its great size, stupid demeanor, and bedraggled toothless appearance, they have the hardiness of a tardigrade.

      Only a concerted, targeted downmodding campaign has been shown effective in controlling this dangerous pest.

      Experience shows that stopping such a campaign leads to C. Lepidoptera Creimerus returning within days.

      Don't let it happen again!
      --
      the biggest looser on Slashdot

    3. Re:Wales by Applehu+Akbar · · Score: 1

      They don't play football in New Zealand. They play rugby.

    4. Re:Wales by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nope but cdreimer has the body of a football player and when he talks about himself, which he does a lot, he often says: "think football player"

      Just check out his youtube channel to judge for yourself. Make sure you are of legal age if you do because parental discretion is advised.

    5. Re:Wales by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      all his videos are done in fatface
      i find this cultural appropriation of obese culture

  3. I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by hyades1 · · Score: 0, Troll

    It's a version of the app customized for rednecks. They're going to call it either Tinbred or Tsister.

    --
    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    1. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      It's a version of the app customized for rednecks. They're going to call it either Tinbred or Tsister.

      I wonder if those who modded you up would have done the same if you'd used "Koran Belt" instead.

      I'm sure whoever modded you up prides himself on his "tolerance".

      As if.

      Way to demonstrate bigotry.

    2. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by quintus_horatius · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hectare Agritech, which also runs online grain marketplace Graindex

      Missed opportunity for Graindr

    3. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      It just baffles me to see ugly classist bigotry on full display, modded up no less. What's wrong with people? You don't punch down, you never punch down. Attack the powerful in society, don't speak truth to the powerless.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    4. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You don't punch down, you never punch down. Attack the powerful in society, don't speak truth to the powerless.

      So you consider rednecks beneath you and you call other people bigots?

    5. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by Miles_O'Toole · · Score: 0

      Those "powerless" people elected Donald Trump, and we're all paying for their willful ignorance and outright stupidity.

      The comment that bothers you isn't "punching down". It's kicking up, with humor, right at the crotch of violence-prone, reality-averse cretins who are enthusiastically participating in an on-going attempt to cheapen, demean and damage the United States of America.

      If you're OK with that, you're part of the problem.

      --
      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    6. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by hyades1 · · Score: 1

      Implicit in your ridiculous comment is that you also consider rednecks to be beneath you.

      The irony is just too perfect! Thanks for the chuckle, you bigoted, classist prick.

      --
      I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    7. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by hyades1 · · Score: 1

      I should have read your comment first. You beat me to it. Mind you, I was a bit ruder than you to the little slimeball.

      --
      I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    8. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by hyades1 · · Score: 1

      You win the Internet. That is truly hilarious!

      --
      I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    9. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      Wow, you're really punching down on the poor. What happened to sympathy for the plight of the working class? Doesn't the Left basically worship them? And America is a racist, colonialist white supremacist warmonger country. Why are you worried its capabilities are being diminished?

      You're a classist bigot. How's it feel, being a bigot? Like all bigots, you're proud of your bigotry and display it in public with no shame.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    10. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by Miles_O'Toole · · Score: 1

      I guess you're upset, being caught and called out for being a prancing, classist bigot. I can understand that. I bet you wish you could recall the comment where you revealed that you think you're a cut above the rednecks you claim to support.

      Do you also ride to the rescue of damsels in distress, then rape them as soon as you get a chance? I bet you do.

      --
      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    11. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by hyades1 · · Score: 1

      I wonder if YOU ever stopped to consider that a fundamentalist Muslim has a lot more in common with a fundamentalist, Bible Belt Christian than with rational people.

      Wake up, Snowflake.

      --
      I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    12. Re:I hear there's a Bible Belt version coming out by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      Wow, did you just INVENT something out of your own brain, and then tell me that's what I am, and then hate me for it? What-tha-fuuuuuck. Seriously?

      You're taking these ugly thoughts you have inside you, projecting them on The Other, and then shouting at what you hate. But it's not me at all - it's you that you hate. This is called psychological projection and it is a common defense mechanism.

      "Psychological projection is a defence mechanism in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is habitually wants to rape may constantly accuse other people of wanting to rape. It incorporates blame shifting."

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  4. Naaaaahh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    <SHEEP>Naaaaaah</SHEEP>

  5. Can we have one for goats? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I know the new Europeans would appreciate the nostalgia

  6. Actual cows?? by Type44Q · · Score: 1

    Actual cows? I figured it was a euphemism for big women...

    1. Re:Actual cows?? by TimMD909 · · Score: 1

      Actual cows? I figured it was a euphemism for big women...

      Touché. Seems this should go on the soundtrack for MGTOW types, or people suffering from hernias.

    2. Re:Actual cows?? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actual cows? I figured it was a euphemism for big women...

      Sorry, your mom will have to look for a date elsewhere.

    3. Re: Actual cows?? by Type44Q · · Score: 1
      My mom lost all her weight in one fell swoop years ago... and was left with nothing but bones, wrinkles and brains. She's annoying as fuck, smart as hell... and likely hasn't been laid in an eternity.

      Want her number??

  7. The high tech farm industry. by jellomizer · · Score: 3, Insightful

    We all love to laugh at the farming industry, we picture rednecks with their pickup trucks, and their guns, just doing heavy labor.
    However the farming industry is rather high tech, there is a lot more technology that goes on then a lot of silicon valley companies.
    A lot of the Big Data, AI, Automation and Robotics technology that we are seeing going out to the normal public, have often been implemented in farms for years.

    Being that these places need a lot of land to operate, they are often in remote locations, so tools like this article states, is a useful too to farmers to help cordenate their livestock with others.

    --
    If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    1. Re:The high tech farm industry. by shess · · Score: 1

      We all love to laugh at the farming industry, we picture rednecks with their pickup trucks, and their guns, just doing heavy labor.
      However the farming industry is rather high tech, there is a lot more technology that goes on then a lot of silicon valley companies.
      A lot of the Big Data, AI, Automation and Robotics technology that we are seeing going out to the normal public, have often been implemented in farms for years.

      Being that these places need a lot of land to operate, they are often in remote locations, so tools like this article states, is a useful too to farmers to help cordenate their livestock with others.

      My family's farm went from natural breeding to all artificial insemination during my childhood, and then my parents took the dairy buyout ... that was 30 years ago. They didn't exactly sent out for vials of random semen, you had catalogs of options. Having a "dating app for cows" isn't even a particularly interesting idea, it maybe makes certain things more convenient but it's not a game-changer in any way. Contrast that with human dating apps, where it changes your entire approach to the project.

    2. Re:The high tech farm industry. by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      So just go to the web. You don't need an "app" for this. If you don't already know who has bulls for your breed of cows then you're a noob and need to start socializing with other ranchers.

  8. what a load of bull by bugs2squash · · Score: 1

    do foodies use it in restaurants, like when they pick a fish from a tank

    --
    Nullius in verba
    1. Re:what a load of bull by Errol+backfiring · · Score: 1

      what a load of bull

      That is the whole idea

      --
      Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
  9. are animals sexist/racist? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    chosen by noah? racy for sure. the male animal instinctively aggressive,, neutered? try anything to avoid more discomfort? the mare, creationally protective.. you look at her 'funny' she knows it.. one can become unfavored in a single sniff, the wink of an eye? don't look now fails?

  10. I have seen it all now... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    An App that tenderizes meat!

  11. the market? by homebru · · Score: 1

    Shouldn't that be the "meat meet" market?

    OK, or the "meet meat" market. Although that sounds like Tom Thumb or Safeway.

  12. creimette did a double take by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    a meat market for cows
    finally
    loneliness is over
    they smell about the same too

  13. What's new here? by BringsApples · · Score: 2

    Men have been using Tinder to showcase their meat for years now.

    --
    Politics; n. : A religion whereby man is god.
  14. No meat, more potatoes by Camarillo+Brillo · · Score: 1

    The consumption of dead animals was likely useful before humans learned to farm better. I can sort of understand wanting to eat something in the dead of winter back in 1890. But now the whole meat industry is literally killing humans and the environment with their CAFOs ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... ). If you saw what goes on there, I bet you would not eat another animal. It is such a terrible waste of land, resources, energy, and life to raise an animal just so a savage human can kill and eat it. There are still millions who think that humans need to eat meet to survive. This is just no so, but the meat lobby is huge and supplies 'studies' and 'news' with a lot of misinformation. But who am I to lecture. Go ahead and eat your dead cow, greasy potatoes, and flavored sugar water. Enjoy you diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, and the polluted water that comes with that burger.

    1. Re: No meat, more potatoes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Eat your carbs and enjoy your cancer, diabeties and other nasties coming from too much carbs

    2. Re:No meat, more potatoes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But who am I to lecture.

      And yet, here you are, lecturing like some smug fucking asshole.

      I spent 17 years as a vegetarian, and for almost all of that time I felt most vegans needed a punch in the face when they acted like smug douchebags ... now I'm quite certain of it.

      Vegans are like born again Christians, they want to tell everyone else about their newfound, self-appointed superiority, and in the process force everyone to conclude that such people are fucking assholes.

      So, why don't you keep your bullshit moralizing to yourself, fuck off, and shut the fuck up, you self righteous sack of shit.

    3. Re: No meat, more potatoes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      5 is an important number. It represents the number of ad hominems you used and it also represents 3 more shits than I am willing to give about your fallacious argument.

    4. Re: No meat, more potatoes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Eat your carbs and enjoy your cancer, diabeties and other nasties coming from too much carbs

      Depends on the type of carbs. Cutting back on simple-carbs might help lose weight in the short term; but all the longest lived communities around the world get 90%+ of their diet from carbohydrates... the trick is they need to be from vegetables, not grains.

      Carbs from corn, wheat, rice, etc, has different types of fats than carbs from leaves and fruit. So, if you want to live long and be healthy... eat a lot of carbs- just not carbs from grains.

    5. Re:No meat, more potatoes by Applehu+Akbar · · Score: 1

      I eat cows, pigs and lambs because they taste so good. You people are like Trappist monks, though without the inner peace.

      Enjoy your high-sanctimonium diet. Just don't bother the rest of us. We have some grilling to do.

    6. Re:No meat, more potatoes by Camarillo+Brillo · · Score: 1

      And oh yes, eating meat causes sever anger issues. Perhaps you need a psychologist as well as a nutritionist.

  15. How long until this app is filled with dick pics? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I give it about 24 hours before farmers have a real problem. Most dating apps use a social security number or credit card to try to keep the crazy to a minimum. Cows don't really have SSNs, so it's probably open season.

  16. regenerative ag platform by js290 · · Score: 1

    In case you missed it: @Applegate is launching its regenerative agriculture platform.https://t.co/z0wEuW9mN8

    — Savory Institute (@SavoryInstitute) February 12, 2019

    --
    "Tempers are wearing thin. Let's just hope some robot doesn't kill everybody." --Bender
  17. I'm tired of it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    All of you men calling us cows because we may have a few pounds. Dating apps are not just "meat markets". I'm not a piece of meat ass holes.

  18. I just looked at the app... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What an utter disappointment!

  19. it'll be abused by Kryptonut · · Score: 1

    how long until some questionable farmers add themselves to the potential matches?

  20. They should start one for sheep! by Locke2005 · · Score: 0

    Those Trump supporter incels need lovin' too!

    --
    I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    1. Re:They should start one for sheep! by Aighearach · · Score: 0

      Why not, there is already one for goats.

  21. Yo mamma so fat, she on Tudder by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    n/t

  22. Don't take it personally Bessy by HeckRuler · · Score: 1

    It's all just a meat market.

  23. Should call it "Tender" by careysb · · Score: 1

    I've legally changed my name to "Anonymous".

  24. Time for #MeMoo by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 1

    Farmers can view pictures of bulls or cows and swipe right to show interest.

    Sounds OK so far but how do they make sure that the cow isn't being forced but consents to having sex with the farmer?

  25. Found the Luddite! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Only app appers can app the latest apps for their cows!

    Apps!

  26. Cow Profiles by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Hello, my name is Snowbell, I like walks in the field, chewing cud, and farmers with warm hands."
    "Hi, my name is El Toreador, I'm a smooth operator with the ladies. If you want to see every corner of the paddock, call me!"
    "I'm Lady, but I'm no lady, if you know what I mean! If you have the moves, I've got the time."
    "My online avatar is Xena, I'm into role-playing, cow-play, and manga fantasy. Am I the nerd for you?"