Posted by
CowboyNeal
on from the some-of-the-people-all-of-the-time dept.
ziggy_az writes "A local TV station aired an ominous story about some "Hacker group" attacking AOL. You can catch the whole story here. "
Yes, I absolutely hate getting a chain letter, but at least this time it made more people look stupid than just those forwarding it around.
DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS POST! It contains a dangerous virus that will re-format your hard disk! Please pass this on to your on-line friends to help them avoid this problem. Remember, if you see a "Good Times" post, just score it -1, do not respond.
Same Old Virus
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 5
Seems like the post off the cypherpunks list from fall of '98 needs to be aired again.:-)
************************************************ ****************** WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE! Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet! ************************************************ ******************
WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking. The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others. A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community.
Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources, including
Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability at http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html
Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at http://www.mcafee.com/support/hoax.html
Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at http://www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html
The Urban Legends Web Site at http://www.urbanlegends.com
Urban Legends Reference Pages at http://www.snopes.com
Datafellows Hoax Warnings at http://www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htm
Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such as
Evaluating Internet Research Sources at http://www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it.htm
Evaluation of Information Sources at http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm
Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at http://refserver.lib.vt.edu/libinst/critTHINK.HTM
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.
************************************************ ****************** This message is so important, we're sending it anonymously! Forward it to all your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not a chain letter! This story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely, there is no date on it! This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points! Lots!! For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding these messages all over creation, you're obviously thinking too much.) ************************************************ ******************
ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! LIMITED TIME ONLY! NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!
For those of you haven't already gone to the trouble to watch the RealVideo of the newscast, go see it now. It's hilarious--I love reporting that acts so seriously.
I'm just glad I'm not an AOL user getting barraged with copies of this.
-- --jon. Postel is dead. May we all mourn his, and our, loss.
Re:Good Times! -- A Bad Day...
by
Mr.+Competence
·
· Score: 5
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN, and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax, because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together & distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true --I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck, but ten people you will only have ok luck, and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
Mercifully, this is the end....
-- Those who open their minds too far often let their brains fall out.
Slashdot Mirror
DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS POST! It contains a dangerous virus that will re-format your hard disk! Please pass this on to your on-line friends to help them avoid this problem. Remember, if you see a "Good Times" post, just score it -1, do not respond.
Seems like the post off the cypherpunks list from fall of '98 needs to be aired again. :-)
* ****************** * ******************
* ****************** * ******************
***********************************************
WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
***********************************************
WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet
Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by
a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless
story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their
browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people
believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes,
email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets
based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise
normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a
stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become
infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on
the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one
weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my
friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good
Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of
other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true."
It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees
Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now,
however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read,"
she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus,
which include the following:
The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking.
The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others.
A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story
is true.
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I
read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your
hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the
Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would
not become infected.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts
recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to
their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to
thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely
discussed and exposed by the Internet community.
Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is
online help from many sources, including
Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability at
http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html
Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at
http://www.mcafee.com/support/hoax.html
Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at
http://www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html
The Urban Legends Web Site at
http://www.urbanlegends.com
Urban Legends Reference Pages at
http://www.snopes.com
Datafellows Hoax Warnings at
http://www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htm
Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves
against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating
sources, such as
Evaluating Internet Research Sources at
http://www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it.htm
Evaluation of Information Sources at
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm
Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at
http://refserver.lib.vt.edu/libinst/critTHINK.HTM
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the
Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards
them a hoax.
***********************************************
This message is so important, we're sending it anonymously! Forward it to
all your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not a chain
letter! This story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely,
there is no date on it! This story is so important, we're using lots of
exclamation points! Lots!! For every message you forward to some
unsuspecting person, the Home for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten
cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding
these messages all over creation, you're obviously thinking too much.)
***********************************************
ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! LIMITED TIME ONLY! NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!
I'm just glad I'm not an AOL user getting barraged with copies of this.
--jon. Postel is dead. May we all mourn his, and our, loss.
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken.
So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he
got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN,
and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He
knew it wasn't a hoax, because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the
year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together & distribute the $600
Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true --I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL
GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World
vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I
know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note
that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one,
actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one
whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail
and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for
every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
people you will have good luck, but ten people you will only have
ok luck, and if you send it to less than ten people you will have
BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but
on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly
shot as part of a gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
Mercifully, this is the end....
Those who open their minds too far often let their brains fall out.