Slashdot Mirror


Episode II Rumours

SPL wrote in with a link to E! Online's Episode II rumours Interesting ideas; it seems almost certain that Obi-wan and Mace Windu will have larger parts. DiCaprio as Anakin? Darth Maul's clone? I think I'll be happy as long as Jar Jar doesn't return.

5 of 225 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Episode II Rumors - Some Grounding... by PhoneMonkey · · Score: 3

    This is a dialogue by Luke "Starkiller" on page 30 of the old George Lucas Jan 28, 1975 script for Star Wars.

    Luke Starkiller

    "As the Republic spread throughout the galaxy, emcompassing over a million worlds, the GREAT SENATE grew to such overwhelming proportions that it no longer responded to the needs of it's citizens. After a series of assassinations and elaborately rigged elections, the Great Senate became secretly controlled by the Power and Transport guilds. When the Jedi discovered the conspiracy and attempted to purge the Senate, they were denounced as traitors. Several Jedi allowed themselves to be tried and executed, but most of them fled into the Outland systems and tried to tell people of the conspiracy. But the elders chose to remain behind, and the great Senate diverted them by creating civil disorder. The Senate secretly instigated race wars, and aided anti-government terrorists. They slowed down the system of justice, which caused the crime rate to rise to the point where a totally controlled and oppresive police state was welcomed by the systems. The Empire was born. The systems were exploited by a new economic policy which raised the cost of power and transport to unbelievable heights........................During one of his lessons a young PADAWAN-JEDI, a boy named Darklighter,(Anakin??) came to know the evil half of the force, and fell victim to the spell of the dreaded Bogan(Sith??). He ran away from his instructor and taught the evil ways of the Bogan force to a clan of Sith Pirates, who then spread untold misery throughout the systems. They became the personal bodyguards of the Emperor. ( Mandalorian red guards???) The Jedi were hunted down by these deadly Sith Knights. With every Jedi death, contact with Ashla grows weaker........."

    Looks pretty clear about what he intended to happen in Episodes 2 and 3. This is located at Starwarz.com

    --
    It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off
  2. A larger role? by DonkPunch · · Score: 3

    How in the world could Jar Jar get a larger role? He was in just about every scene in Episode I (even doing nothing but SLEEPING in one scene).

    Maybe they should just put a special "Jar Jar Box" in the upper right corner of the screen -- like a TV picture-in-picture. That way, we could watch him through 100% of the film. :P

    --

    Save the whales. Feed the hungry. Free the mallocs.
  3. Re:The Emergring of MINI MAUL!!!!!!!! by DonkPunch · · Score: 3

    Funny! I guess every time the Emperor says "Death Star", Mini Maul has to make the little "quote" signs with his fingers. :)

    --

    Save the whales. Feed the hungry. Free the mallocs.
  4. The Emergring of MINI MAUL!!!!!!!! by StephenJ · · Score: 3

    "McCallum also indicated that Darth Maul, easily the most popular character in The Phantom Menace, will most likely not return. Internet talk, however, is that Maul will return--as a clone of his bad self."

    BUT 1/8TH HIS SIZE!!!!

  5. Television Spin-Off: Star Wars - The Early Years by Seumas · · Score: 5
    I would prefer to see any of the following play the older Anakin:

    Adam Sandler
    Drew Carey
    Jeff Foxworthy

    "If you can crush a mans neck, simply by looking at him -- you might be a Jedi!"

    ==Television Pilots==

    And perhaps we can begin to see Star Wars explore some more pressing issues with the central characters being so young.

    In the vein of 90210, Anakin could knock Queen Amidala up while they're both underage and deal with a pending abortion, adoption, or birth. Amidala will be forced to relinquish control of Naboo to become a stay-at-home mom. And, in typical male fashion (according to Hollywood), Anakin will dump her for Brittany -- the local slut.

    In the style of Blossom and Party of Five, we could have Anakin explore his new-found bi-sexual desires with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    Meanwhile, Jar-Jar Binks finds himself seduced by the porn-world, producing Naboo's most impressive blue-market videos.

    Queen Amidala, having become an unemployed, single, teenage mother, will resort to prostitution and fight fruitlessly to fight off her rabid drug-habit. Of course, never able to kick the habit, she is knocked up again when Anakin returns while on the rebound and talks a drunken Amidala into a little nookie (for old-times sake, of course). Nine months later, she gives birth to a crack-baby named Luke. Not wanting to own up to his responsibilities again, Anakin applies to the Navy. Unfortunately, despite their don't-ask-don't-tell policy, his carnal desires are exposed and he is booted out of the service, only to join the Empire.

    In the flavor of Moesha, we learn about the danger of gangs and peer-pressure as Anakin is jumped into The Empire and exposed to violence and hate.

    And in a very touching scene, derived from many episodes of South Central, Anakin picks up his first light-saber. Of course, the weapon's owner had neglected to keep it in a safe place or install a saber-lock.

    And in a heart-warming ending to Episode II, Amidala succumbs to a drug-induced coma and sees dancing wookies, in a rather obviousAlley McBeal-esque rip-off.

    Yes, I speak blasphemy!
    You must admit, though, that many of us would rather see such ideas as those previously mentioned than anything remotely similar to Episode I again.
    ---
    seumas.com