Slashdot Mirror
Y2K Policy with Attitude
Spectre writes "This has to be the most honest Y2K policy I have seen to date (from Hart Scientific).
I'm going to include a printed copy of this in my company's "Y2K notebook" even though we have never done business with these people... " One of the funniest things I've read in awhile. Including these long drawn out messages from clueless folks warning me that Slashdot is not
y2k compliant (because dear god, if the URL of stories contains 00 all
hell is gonna break lose ;)
11.0010010000111111011010101000100010000101101000
Last year a client required a 100% response on a y2k questionnaire before they would pay their invoices. They required everyone to provide a list of suppliers and rate their importance and provide proof we contacted them, received a y2k compliance statement, and forwarded it on.
So we rated importance of suppliers like this:
Loo paper
Junk food
Coffee
Breakfast cereal
Electricity
Then we wrote up a justification on the importance of bog roll (toilet paper) to the proper functioning of a company, indicated that all rolls had no date function, provided a list of alternatives, risks of loss of supply on morale and productivity. Pretty funny stuff. We submitted it with a handful of y2k statements we found on the web, and got paid.
If I weren't on the road now I could post a copy, get some feedback for new ideas in case anyone else is stupid enough to ask us for another statement.
the AC
KY-2K: when you have to cram four digits where only two would fit before
Hemos is like...sci-fi fans;he thinks technology is cool, but he hasn't bothered to understand the science it's based on
Guess that depends upon if your willing to accept any 4 digits.. (groans at his own sick mind)
>And besides.... a stereo SHOULD still work if it
>thinks it's 1900...
Yeah, but there wasn't anything to listen too back then, save maybe a space alien or two (and they had to beat the y19C problem to broadcast).
My previous employer not only got these Y2K questionnaires, but each division of a larger company sent them to us (and the forms were different). And it wasn't any good that we put a Y2K statement on the web that read "We use Unix time(), we don't use dates. Forget about it.". Nope Nope. The lawyers wouldn't like that. Bleah.
--
Now there's a haircut you can set a watch to!
-Grandpa Simpson
Fwd: News Progress Report from the Y2K project Subject: Y2K "Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction.
So few companies are on the cluetrain that I want to buy from this company without even knowing what they make! How refreshing to hear a human voice on a corporate website.
- Read fiction at www.espressostories.com
My car is not Y2K compliant. And its the government's fault! (Damn inspection stickers only lasts 12 months.) So, I can get a ticket with two zeros in it ($100 is a hefty fine) for not having my car Y2K compliant.
Its all a scam I tell ya! NT crashes now, why wait?
Well everybody knows that even things that don't contain a date are still vunerable to the Y2K problem. This is because they can magically work out the date even though they don't store it internally. So be careful, your Microwave isn't going to work in the Y2K and neither is your electronic scales or your car.
(BTW I'm not being serious here. I've just seen so many people concerned with Y2K problems in things that don't even store the date, I'm just glad to see a company that isn't going overboard on this one)
--
We had a Y2K team come around and test all our software, and they put "Y2K READY" stickers on the Moniter and Computer Case, but what about the MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!!!! WHAT GOOD IS THE COMPUTER GOING TO BE WITHOUT MY MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!!!!! ...ok im done ranting...im off to find a Y2K compadible keyboard and mouse now at pricescan.com...
Click and Clack, the Tap'it brothers (the car guys on NPR) are hawking Y2K compliant needle nose pliars, coffee cups, etc.
------------------------------------------
Stephen Molitor steve_molitor@yahoo.com
Was it Arthur C. Clarke or Robert Heinlein who once said "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"? The point being that to the Neanderthal, an AM Radio would be magic -- a box that speaks! And similarly, any sufficiently advanced alien technology would be, to us, indistinguishable from magic.
:-}.
Ironic that journalists have the same beliefs as the Neanderthal would if brought to the modern day
-E
Send mail here if you want to reach me.
I changed '99' to '00' in various addresses, and I stumbled across the following article:
Slafhdotte
Newf for Forward-Thinking Perfonf. Itemf of importance.
5 Foot Railroad Gauge Gaining Acceptance
An Article in Scientific American fayf that the 5 Foot railroad gauge is gaining Acceptance among fmaller Railroad Companief. Although Trainf designed for the exifting 4 Foot 8-1/2 Inch trackf in use by the Railroad Monopolief will Not Work on thefe trackf, the 5 Foot gauge haf many advantagef. It if cheaper to build, trainf can run fafter on it, and it only takef 4 minutef to infall a fection of track. Pluf, the trackf are being defigned efpecially fo that Train Crafhef will never occur.
Supporterf of the 'Open Track Movement' are building the trainf that will run on thefe trackf for free in their fpare time. It will not be long before the obfolete 4 Foot 8-1/2 Inch ftandard fallf into difufe.
Next Article: Jonathan Katz III propofef "Tell A Schoolteacher Not To Beat A Difobedient Child To-Day"
Commentf
(We do not even know what Beta meanf!)
FIRST POST (Score:-1, Offtopic)
by Anonymous Cowherd on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ High Noon
Ye Firft Poft!
Re: FIRST POST (Score: 1)
by Farmer Bob on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ Sometime After High Noon
You are an extremely ignorant fellow. Quiet yourfelf before I muft resort to fifticufff.
5 INCH FOREVER!
by Anonymous Cowherd on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ Sometime in the Evening
The railroad monopolief are going down! I certainly hope thif ftandard if in general ufe before people begin to think that train crafhef are normal!
--
Win dain a lotica, en vai tu ri silota
I know the compression one's just started, but...
On January 1 2000, I'll be:
Expecting most stuff to work fine
Avoiding flights and nuclear reactors
In an underground bunker at a secret location
On call to fix Y2K bugs, for exorbitant charges per minute
hating Rob/Hemos/Andover
http://www.duh-2000.com/
The dumb things people say about Y2k
Pretty funny.
yes, www.dotcomforwardslash.com is my real URL.
Hey -- take the focus off that stoopid submit button!
Anyway, as my boss said, the worst thing that could happen would be that we wouldn't be able to invoice our customers. I should put that on our web site. Maybe that'll put a stop to the annoying forms.
Some of the most amazing things are now "Y2K" compliant. Bottled water, toasters, even children's toys. Heaven forbid that some little electronic doo-hickey that plays "This old man" (not the Barney version) would stop repeating that annoying tune over and over because it's lodged in the bottom of the toy tub...
Will I be able to light my stove with my non-Y2K lighter so that I can boil my bottled water to make my non-Y2K compliant macaroni and cheese, or should I get some spaghettios instead? (I'll be able to open cans, I have an old-fashioned can opener rusting away in a drawer somewhere.)
Consigned to flames of woe.
I know a lot of people who have worked there, amongst them my eldest sister's husband. I think i might know who wrote that.
They're a pretty slick operation, with a fairly decent sense of humor. Aside from that, they give you the best millikelvin for your buck. They don't make the cheapest temperature sensor, but their stuff is generally more accurate and more reliable than devices costing thousands more.
A bunch of people left Hart to work for the company I'm currently with, an ambitious startup that will remain anonymous since slashdotters have already gone to town regarding the web page someone spent an hour throwing together in frontpage rather than spending weeks in vi to make something that looks decent. Pity it's a crime to concentrate on what you do best and spend as little as possible on things you're not going to do well anyhow.
This is just like television, only you can see much further.
Not directly related to the article, but to Y2K in general: the GPS ``week 0'' rollover is this upcoming weekend (story).
``This, too, shall pass.'' ---Eastern proverb
They're the kinda managment that posts things like This cartoon :-)
This is just like television, only you can see much further.
I cannot believe the level of callousness and disregard to posterity being displayed by the entire technology economy. Their "quick-fix" mentality is going to lead to complete disaster. Just for the sake of saving a few bytes, they are restricting computer systems to 4-digit years.
I might not be around for it, but I just wanted to be the first on record predicting chaos, doom, disaster, and the pillaging of the frozen-head museum where the heads of Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, and John Koskinen will be pulled from their freezers and used for football games when the Year 10,000 rolls around and all the matter teleportation units shut down!
I've been following all of the predictions of disaster, Armageddon & widespread riotting resulting from mistakes made by some lazy programmers with a bit of amusement.
Let's start by looking at what we depend on that could be affected by the Y2K problem: there's stores, banks, insurance & financial companies, the power companies, phone companies, & water companies.
Oh yeah -- & your programmable VCR, televisions & thermostats.
Consider that stores make their money by *selling* things. If the computers in a given store all go telegraph underground, the managers will figure out some way to keep the doors open, keep the deliveries coming, & calculate how much you should pay them. They may even continue to accept checks & plastic.
Banks & insurance companies are paranoid about losing money, so they routinely print off their records. (So my wife, an ex-Key Bank accountant tells me.) They aren't going to forget you owe them money because of some Y2K bug -- at least not more frequently than they have been.
As for brokerage houses & other financial institutions, seeing how the S&P 500 has outperformed over 70% of the stock funds out there, losing money due to Y2K is the least of anyone's worries.
And the IRS has come up with a simple -- yet elegant solution for the Y2K bug: they decided that fiscal 1999 now has 99 months. So they now have a Y2007 problem. (A fun fact I also learned from my wife, the accountant.)
Power & phone companies all have tested their switches, & assure us that they will work after 1 January. This is likely because most of their equipment does not care what year it is. (For example, I understand that Nortel phone switches only care about a year value around 31 December/ 1 January to help determine a call's start & end time. Otherwise, the year value is irrelevant information.)
Water companies have it even easier: if their programmable equipment remians unfixed by the magic date, they can send a guy with a wrench to each of their switching sites & crank all of the valves open, & rely on gravity to make the deliveries.
So it comes down to the fact that programmable appliances like VCRs, thermostats, alarm clocks & televisions might fail. (Which I doubt, seeing how 25% of all VCRs are still blinking 12:00, & otherwise work just fine.) And according to the pundits, people will take to the streets & riot over this.
If the pundits are correct, then we ought to have an Open Moron Season, where we can shoot anyone rioting on 1 January. Because only a moron would take to the streets to riot because their VCRs et cetera don't work! (``Well, I never got it to work before, but now it doesn't work because of a Y2K bug. Whatever a Y2K is.")
The only downside I can see to an Open Moron Season is that companies might start laying phone support people off because once we have shot all of the morons, there will be 90% fewer calls.
]me? a BOFH?[
Geoff
I think I see a trend here. Maybe for them it really would be easier to muzzle the entire internet than to produce p