Y2K Policy with Attitude

Spectre writes "This has to be the most honest Y2K policy I have seen to date (from Hart Scientific). I'm going to include a printed copy of this in my company's "Y2K notebook" even though we have never done business with these people... " One of the funniest things I've read in awhile. Including these long drawn out messages from clueless folks warning me that Slashdot is not y2k compliant (because dear god, if the URL of stories contains 00 all hell is gonna break lose ;)

Comments

Analog and leap years

[Stephen]

I get e-mails telling me that my program analog isn't Y2K compliant because I use (y % 4 == 0) as my test for leap years. They tell me it should be something like

(y % 4 == 0 && (y % 100 != 0 || y % 400 == 0))

I reply explaining that analog isn't Y2100 compliant. It's got so bad I've had to put an explanation in the source.

Our bog roll suppliers are Y2K compliant

[anticypher]

Last year a client required a 100% response on a y2k questionnaire before they would pay their invoices. They required everyone to provide a list of suppliers and rate their importance and provide proof we contacted them, received a y2k compliance statement, and forwarded it on.

So we rated importance of suppliers like this:
Loo paper
Junk food
Coffee
Breakfast cereal
Electricity

Then we wrote up a justification on the importance of bog roll (toilet paper) to the proper functioning of a company, indicated that all rolls had no date function, provided a list of alternatives, risks of loss of supply on morale and productivity. Pretty funny stuff. We submitted it with a handful of y2k statements we found on the web, and got paid.

If I weren't on the road now I could post a copy, get some feedback for new ideas in case anyone else is stupid enough to ask us for another statement.

the AC
KY-2K: when you have to cram four digits where only two would fit before

Progress Report

[Anonymous Coward]

Fwd: News Progress Report from the Y2K project Subject: Y2K "Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction.

Uh oh

[SmokeyDP]

We had a Y2K team come around and test all our software, and they put "Y2K READY" stickers on the Moniter and Computer Case, but what about the MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!!!! WHAT GOOD IS THE COMPUTER GOING TO BE WITHOUT MY MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!!!!! ...ok im done ranting...im off to find a Y2K compadible keyboard and mouse now at pricescan.com...

Y2K compliant coffe cups

[HarpMan]

Click and Clack, the Tap'it brothers (the car guys on NPR) are hawking Y2K compliant needle nose pliars, coffee cups, etc.

------------------------------------------

Slashdot is not Y2K-compliant!

[PurpleBob]

I changed '99' to '00' in various addresses, and I stumbled across the following article:
Slafhdotte
Newf for Forward-Thinking Perfonf. Itemf of importance.

5 Foot Railroad Gauge Gaining Acceptance
An Article in Scientific American fayf that the 5 Foot railroad gauge is gaining Acceptance among fmaller Railroad Companief. Although Trainf designed for the exifting 4 Foot 8-1/2 Inch trackf in use by the Railroad Monopolief will Not Work on thefe trackf, the 5 Foot gauge haf many advantagef. It if cheaper to build, trainf can run fafter on it, and it only takef 4 minutef to infall a fection of track. Pluf, the trackf are being defigned efpecially fo that Train Crafhef will never occur.

Supporterf of the 'Open Track Movement' are building the trainf that will run on thefe trackf for free in their fpare time. It will not be long before the obfolete 4 Foot 8-1/2 Inch ftandard fallf into difufe.

Next Article: Jonathan Katz III propofef "Tell A Schoolteacher Not To Beat A Difobedient Child To-Day"

Commentf
(We do not even know what Beta meanf!)

FIRST POST (Score:-1, Offtopic)
by Anonymous Cowherd on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ High Noon

Ye Firft Poft!

Re: FIRST POST (Score: 1)
by Farmer Bob on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ Sometime After High Noon

You are an extremely ignorant fellow. Quiet yourfelf before I muft resort to fifticufff.

5 INCH FOREVER!
by Anonymous Cowherd on Monday Auguft 16, 1900, @ Sometime in the Evening

The railroad monopolief are going down! I certainly hope thif ftandard if in general ufe before people begin to think that train crafhef are normal!

--

Poll idea

[indecision]

I know the compression one's just started, but...

On January 1 2000, I'll be:

Expecting most stuff to work fine

Avoiding flights and nuclear reactors

In an underground bunker at a secret location

On call to fix Y2K bugs, for exorbitant charges per minute

hating Rob/Hemos/Andover

Y2K: A Modest Proposal

[llywrch]

I've been following all of the predictions of disaster, Armageddon & widespread riotting resulting from mistakes made by some lazy programmers with a bit of amusement.

Let's start by looking at what we depend on that could be affected by the Y2K problem: there's stores, banks, insurance & financial companies, the power companies, phone companies, & water companies.

Oh yeah -- & your programmable VCR, televisions & thermostats.

Consider that stores make their money by *selling* things. If the computers in a given store all go telegraph underground, the managers will figure out some way to keep the doors open, keep the deliveries coming, & calculate how much you should pay them. They may even continue to accept checks & plastic.

Banks & insurance companies are paranoid about losing money, so they routinely print off their records. (So my wife, an ex-Key Bank accountant tells me.) They aren't going to forget you owe them money because of some Y2K bug -- at least not more frequently than they have been.

As for brokerage houses & other financial institutions, seeing how the S&P 500 has outperformed over 70% of the stock funds out there, losing money due to Y2K is the least of anyone's worries.

And the IRS has come up with a simple -- yet elegant solution for the Y2K bug: they decided that fiscal 1999 now has 99 months. So they now have a Y2007 problem. (A fun fact I also learned from my wife, the accountant.)

Power & phone companies all have tested their switches, & assure us that they will work after 1 January. This is likely because most of their equipment does not care what year it is. (For example, I understand that Nortel phone switches only care about a year value around 31 December/ 1 January to help determine a call's start & end time. Otherwise, the year value is irrelevant information.)

Water companies have it even easier: if their programmable equipment remians unfixed by the magic date, they can send a guy with a wrench to each of their switching sites & crank all of the valves open, & rely on gravity to make the deliveries.

So it comes down to the fact that programmable appliances like VCRs, thermostats, alarm clocks & televisions might fail. (Which I doubt, seeing how 25% of all VCRs are still blinking 12:00, & otherwise work just fine.) And according to the pundits, people will take to the streets & riot over this.

If the pundits are correct, then we ought to have an Open Moron Season, where we can shoot anyone rioting on 1 January. Because only a moron would take to the streets to riot because their VCRs et cetera don't work! (``Well, I never got it to work before, but now it doesn't work because of a Y2K bug. Whatever a Y2K is.")

The only downside I can see to an Open Moron Season is that companies might start laying phone support people off because once we have shot all of the morons, there will be 90% fewer calls.


]me? a BOFH?[
Geoff