'I Was a Human Crash-Test Dummy'

kris writes "Salon.com has a gross story titled I was a human crash test dummy about a professor who gave his body for human impact-survival research -- and lived to tell the tale. 'We needed some information on what the human body could stand." This is what retired Wayne State University biomechanics professor Lawrence M. Patrick will tell you if you ask him why he agreed to be slammed in the chest by a 22-pound metal pendulum, to hurl one knee repeatedly against a metal bar outfitted with a load cell and to undertake some 400 rides on a rapid-deceleration sled that mimics the effects of a car crashing head-on into a wall. From 1960 to 1975, Lawrence Patrick was a human crash-test dummy.'"

Comments

Football Players

[Uruk]

The funny part about this is that he probably won't have nearly as much long term negative health impact as the average NFL player. I've read in several places that NFL players shorten their lives by many years by punishing their bodies in the way that they do.

Who knows? Some people are junkies for pain, and some people subscribe to the 80's skater creed; "Chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever". :)

Dates

[schporto]

Look at the dates folks. 1960-1975. They were probaby deveoping data for crash dummies at the time. Now they use dead bodies, but stil need t d the same kind of thing. But they needed the live body for initial ideas of what a body could withstand. And wasn't there a guy who did the same thing for the AirForce. But with ejector seats.
-cpd

Oh yea, this makes me feel A LOT better!

[Pollux]

...much of the early impact survival work was carried out on animals. "We saw chimpanzees riding rocket sleds, a bear on an impact swing...

Can you imagine the reports collected from this? Maybe something along the lines of...

"After applying the collision test with various different animals, the following speeds much be achieved to severely maim or kill the following animals:

Chimpanzee: 34 mph
Pig: 41 mph
Dog: 38 mph
Horse: Could not fit in viechle
--Note: Remember to warn passengers horse can't fit in viechle
Cat: 47 mph
Hampster: Could not keep strapped in seat belt
--Note: Optional cage in viechle for hampster?
Guinea Pig: Inconclusive
--Seat belt strangled Bob's pet Guinea Pig, Chippy...may he rest in peace in the name of science
--Note: Jack lost the bet and paid Bob $10 since the innards of a Guinea Pig were pink, not grey.

Pigs were popular subjects because of their similarities to humans "in terms of their organ set-up," as one industry insider put it, and because they can be coaxed into a useful approximation of a human sitting in a car.

"Here pig, pig, pig, Here piggy, piggy, piggy! There's a nice piece of corn right here for you inside this car! That's right...it's good corn...yes, corn taste's good...(SPROING!) (SPLAT!)"

Less adorable was the experiment's objective: "To produce injuries sufficiently severe to cause death and possibly decapitation of the test animals."

Warning on side of car: "This viechle was designed for humans. We are not responsible for the injury, death, or brutal slaughter of any animals that might occur during an accident, including, but not excluded to, horses, sheep, pigs, cows, monkeys, chimpanzees, cats, dogs, guinea pigs (RIP, Chippy), rats, mice, and rabbits."

ejector seats

[semiriot]

This reminds me of a story that took place when the govt, (and I say govt cause I can't remember which agency did this, nasa, airforce, I don't know), was testing the first ejector seats. They didn't want to use a test pilot but they had to get the reactions of a living thing. They needed something that was approximate in size to a human. So they used a brown bear. Yep, they stuck a bear in the seat and chucked him out of the plane. He was a pretty pissed off bear when he hit the ground.

Imagine having that on your resume?

[jht]

I can see it now:

1960-1975
Deceleration Coordinator

Duties included managing stress and failure studies on body parts, studying healing process, and testing new procedures for bandage and splint application. Travelled frequently, though trips were short in duration. Operated machinery in an unsafe manner.

- -Josh Turiel