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Geek Horoscopes
Chops-Frozen-Water writes "Your horoscope for next year can be found on Salon. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say, "Hey! I resemble that!" And remember, The Stars Are Right. " Just for the record, I am an Aries.
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I'm a Scorpio -- We're not superstitious.
rOD.
Rod Begbie done this, and he's not
What you will actually do: Toy with the rough edges of how much time you can spend on Slashdot while just barely meeting project deadlines.
But wasting ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H spending time on /. is my current project. :P
I mean, come on? Who really believes in horoscopes, anyway? It's such a load of unscientific garbage made up by a bunch of silly people looking at the stars and making things up. I think that it's a sad, sad sign of the times that we live in today that people, desperate for some guidance, look to such unfounded, useless things such as horoscopes. What a load of manure!
After all, it's a well known fact that the only true way to predict the future is tarot readings.
Is that they classify the entire population into 12 groups. This might have been resonable when the population of the earth was 36, but we cannot be reasonable expected to believe that there are 500 million scorpios who all are going to lose their keys on the same day.
And why did they have the date range listed beside the different signs? Would anyone that actually descided to read their horoscope then think to them selves "Wait! I don't know what my sign is!"
For that matter, does *anyone* in western civilization not know what sign they are anyway? Isn't it required knowledge to get a passport or something?
Shawn Poulsen (Fruan)
"On Slashdot, many obvious things are insightful." - Annonymous Coward, 2000/7/9
It says that my New Year's resolution is to "stop spending money on expensive electronic gadgets."
What! No! It can't be! I really want a DVD player! I have to have a Palm Pilot! I need another computer for my firewall!
I guess there's some redemption in the "What you will actually do" category: buy a spare Palm VII for the bathroom.
But y'know, a magazine for the bathroom beats a Palm VII every time. You can't tear out pages from a Palm if you run out of toilet paper.
Actually it is because Neptune is in the wrong place. To rectify this, I prepose that we construct a large craft designed to land on the suface of Neptune and shift its orbit via the detonation of several large nucular explosives, thus allowing your horoscopes to be more acurate in future.
:o)
Surely the comfort of knowing the future is worth the several billion dollars this will cost
Shawn Poulsen (Fruan)
"On Slashdot, many obvious things are insightful." - Annonymous Coward, 2000/7/9
. . . and yet strangely compelling . . .
Scorpio: "Your New Year's resolution: Stop spending money on expensive electronic gadgets."
Perhaps I should take this seriously . . . I mean, it can't be healthy saving up for a dual K7 box. They're not even out yet . . .
"What you will actually do: Buy a spare Palm VII for the bathroom."
Damn! I hadn't thought of that! Now I'll have to postpone that K7 box another month . . . at least, unless they don't come out till I've got the money together . . .
himi
Addicted? Me? Well, yes . . .
My very own DeCSS mirror.
Everyone knows that all you really need is a copy of fortune and you're set. I don't need some half-wit, just-out-of-undergrad, faux journalism major telling me what my life is all about when I can trust a computer program.
And of course the best way for a geek to read tarot is with a deck custom-built with him in mind.
My favorite cards:
Yes, these can be used just like real Tarot cards. Don't know how to use Tarot cards? I'd suggest starting with the alt.tarot FAQ, just like any good Internet junkie would.
Being a Scorpio myself, I do follow a very *very* close interpritation of a text-book Scorpio.. Read about the generic Scorpio personality, and that's me.. =]
On a side note, I somewhat agree, since only really once has a horroscope of mine "come true" But having that happen (In the place I read it, it was almost word for word what happened) was one of the trippiest (Is that a word?) things that ever happened to me. A few times I've had minor things "come true", but nothing worth being special.
Maybe we *do* control our own fate, and can sort-of warp events in some wild way to make other events happen because we believe they will happen. =] Just my thought.
Yea you may save $10 on a new video card, buy you blow at least that much on nachos and cheesy poofs. shit.
Lots of website have that sort of thing going on.. Check this one out, but make sure your parents don't find out, as it is very evil. click this blind link
You guys are only reading the horoscope as relates to your sun sign (meaning, the sign the sun was in at the time of your birth - for those of you on the fringes, you can have your chart done to figure it out once and for all). The other planets and the moon, and the signs they were in, as well as the houses, the aspects, ad infinitum, all contribute to your personal horoscope.
Astrology isn't about predicting events, it's about going with the flow of energy, living in tune with the motions of the heavens, and seeking out the patterns in your life. Sounds like New Age hippie talk to most of you, I imagine, but like any religion or form of divination, you have to have a little blind faith. A real astrologer works mathematical equations and ponders the mysteries of life...those psychic hotlines give astrology a bad rap.
Here are some other useful links, ranging from the informative to the silly.
Real Astrology
Astrology Zone
JavaScopes
The Divine Creatrix in a Mortal Shell that stays Crunchy in Milk
The House Between - Original Sci-Fi Series
Basically, there is a day that is on the "cusp" of two signs. Some people born on that day are one sign, some are another. It has to do with the time and location of the person's birth, in that case. In fact, any astrology that goes beyond just your sun sign makes use of the time and place of birth as well as just the date (and I've found that the more-complex astrology has a degree of specificity and accuracy that the simple newspaper column lacks, but I still don't base my life on it).
Why do I know this? Mostly because I was born on the Libra/Scorpio cusp (October 23rd). I spent several years insisting I was a Scorpio because my mom's a Libra and we look sufficiently alike that for a while I heard "You must be Diane's daughter!" constantly and was sick of it and didn't want to be like mom. Then I had a natal chart done and well, it turns out I'm a Libra after all.
"Somebody exploded a letter-bomb today
I'm a fencepost error, myself (vernal equinox). It makes it a little harder to use myself to convince people the stuff is bunk, since the system already distinguishes me as an exception.
"If one is really a superior person, the fact is likely to leak out without too much assistance" -- John Andrew Holmes
Decent translations of anything are hard to find. That aside, however, the system IS much more complex than most people realize. Where, when, and how you were born affect the 'readings', not to mention all kinds of other things. I, for example, am a capricorn - but because of where/when I was born, about half of the 'houses' are in aquarius. Also known in some circles as earth over water. How's that for a combo? *grin* However, the main point - today - of astrology is that it's FUN.
If you believe in it wholeheartedly without question, you are either a time traveler from long ago or a flake (or a new-age freak, but they usually fall under 'flake' anyway). However, it is a fun diversion, and one of the superstitions that is semi-acceptable in our society. It's ok to look up your horoscope avidly every day - especially if you talk about it with the prefix "I don't believe in this crap, but...."
We do need some superstitions - regimentalized ones called religion, sporadic ones that are still called superstitious, whatever they are, we need myths in our lives. Even those who are heavily atheist believe in something - themselves, the universe, Science, whatever. Without these beliefs we become soulless beasts, we lose our sense of wonder. There is almost always some form of illogical cling to something Bigger Than Ourselves. Lonely life without that, and horribly depressing.
On the note of these predictions in particular, they don't seem to think much of the Geek Set. Particularly not capricorns - they think we're all doomsaying, paranoid freaks with hyperactive egos and big mouths. Ok, so I've got the big mouth. *grin* And I do tend to argue myself blue in the face trying to get the last word in when I feel it's important. But I'm not paranoid, I swear!
They really are out to get me! I saw it on a button! I swear! *wicked grin*
-Elthia