Brunching Shuttlecocks' Findings on Microsoft Case

Quite a number of people recently, includingWrexSoul wrote to say "Are you tired of waiting for the judge's findings-of-law in the Microsoft case? There's a Mad Libs-like toy on Brunching Shuttlecocks where you can have some automatically generated for you by a pack of disgruntled Keebler Elves. " Boy, I sure am *verb* about *subject*

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Another of their features

[EricWright]

(This is only slightly offtopic...)

Another of their random-(foo) generators is the Alanis Morrisette song generator... you supply a noun that is something you hate, six related plural nouns, your favorite color and poet, and the name of a former SO... this one is dedicated to all the /. readers out there (btw, this was my only attempt at this):

"I Think"

I Think AOLamers are really a huge problem
I Think jerks are too much on my mind
I Think spammers have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Robert Frost line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Mary's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM

I Think trolls are gonna drive us all crazy
And slashdot readers make me feel like a child
I Think hackers will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Robert Frost line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Mary's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like Mary's smile, cruel and cold
Like Robert Frost's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM

Probably copyright of the brunching shuttlecock guys, but you never know!

Eric

31337 version:

[Alex Belits]

Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's hax0rz have conveyed to every hax0r with the potential to 0wn in the skr1ptz industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Naked and Petrified Guy, Compaq, Anonymous Coward, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense 31337 to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's lame products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such kiddiez and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and sitez that exhibit the potential to r00t Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly suck consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not rule with Microsoft's lamer.