Posted by
Roblimo
on from the anything-to-boost-those-ratings dept.
richj writes "It looks like MTV's dropping 6 of their minions into a bunker in case the human race is wiped out on New Year's. Imagine having MTV's "chosen" as the group to keep the human race alive? Shudder...
Story here."
Many years ago, a charming teenage saleslady for a CATV service offered me MTV music IN STEREO (her emphasis) for free if I would sign up for six premium TV channels. I explained to her,"I think I would rather be strung up by the thumbs." Remeber that in the time capsule for the 1939/1940 New York World's Fair that we preserved a copy of "Flatfoot Floogie with a Floy Floy" as great music. That Time Capsule was lost. Maybe we can lose this one, too.
I'd imagine that the Characters They Play On TV would have little to do with how they dealt with each other when stuck in a room together for a long period of time. These ARE intelligent people, after all. Sort of like politicians... sure democrats and republicans make for a great fight on the senate floor, but they're all getting trashed at the same parties.
You wouldn't even need to do anything that elaborate. Of course they're going to have an MTV feed going into the bunker, right? You can even give them a computer, phone, etc. to communicate with the outside world. So OK, at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, the power in the bunker goes out. About two seconds later kick on the "emergency" lights (a different and maybe slightly dimmer set) and have the TV come on to static and the computer and phone go dead. After about three days, or when things get really dull (or maybe really interesting, like it becomes obvious someone is getting ready to commit murder) have the lights flicker, go out -- and then the door swings open.
Trust me, the absence of any communication with the outside world would set their imaginations in motion, creating scenarios in their minds much worse than anything that could be conjured up by sound effects or images on TV. This was true in the days of big-time radio theater, and I'm sure it would be true even among those whose imaginations have been impaired by MTV
I know, you could never do this in real life, but there's certainly nothing wrong with just thinking about it. --
Um, isn't that just a wanna-be Blair Witch Project? Anyway, for even more fun, you could slowly move the walls in a little each day while they sleep. And slowly increase the temperature and humidity. That'll get 'em interesting a lot quicker.
After about three days, or when things get really dull (or maybe really interesting, like it becomes obvious someone is getting ready to commit murder) have the lights flicker, go out -- and then the door swings open.
Door swings open, and people in ape costumes come running in.
They can't fuck with the light/electric supply or else *we* won't be able to *see* them. They will have to have enough gas powered generators to last for the duration of the experiments. Moreover, the subjects really can't have access to the cameras and generators if there is an end-of-the-world-sim since the cast could mess up the broadcast or realize that it's a hoax, while trying to do something useful. Then again, I doubt that anyone in the cast will be the Proffessor. It's all Gilligan and Mary-Ann.
Who will take a bet that these chosen few will end up killing themselves (accidentally, of course) before January 1 rolls around?
This isn't about survival, it's about looking for the next Darwin Award winners:-)
I can see a bunker, but under Times Square.
by
bons
·
· Score: 2
Let's think about this. Just about every news agency is discussing the arrest of a suspected terrorist (with a good sized chunk of explosive in the car) in Seattle. (examples) If you really wanted to make a statement, what's a better target than Time's Square? And these fools want to be underneath that if the World ENDS?
Re:*Slaps forehead in disbelief 6times*
by
TuRRIcaNEd
·
· Score: 5
> More importantly - why is this "News for Nerds"? > > Since it most certainly is not "Stuff that Matters"...
Adopts 'Dr. Evil' voice -
While I was frozen, I developed a method for relieving stress that I like to call 'hu - mour'. Using this 'hu - mour' we can burn a hole in the techie obsessiveness surrounding Slashdot, and make it a fun site to visit - unless they pay us - a hefty ransom?
I like Linux and tech-talk as much as the next geek, but jeez, do we have to talk about it all the time?
-- - "How do we do it? Volume!" - The Bursar of Unseen University.
I went to the page...
by
ChrisGoodwin
·
· Score: 2
...and I've come to the following conclusion:
We're all gonna die.
--
-- Pretend there is some witty statement here.
The Mutant Battle of Manhattan
by
unit-6
·
· Score: 2
This is hilarious! Imagine the earth ends in a catacalysmic (sp?) nuclear war. These idiots would ditch the bunker right after the noise died down. Immediatly the 6 beautiful upper-class people begin to mutate into massive versions of britney spears and ricky martin, then battle to the death on the ruined island of manhattan, until there is only one remaining. Of course, this is all covered by Carson Daly whom as we all know is a robot (programmed for idiocy and top 5 countdowns) and immune to human weapons.
One of the problems with getting older is that there are so many more f*&^ed-up things that used to be cool than there were when you were young. For instance, I can remember times when Saturday Night Live, Nehru jackets and the Beach Boys were cool, and that's not even reaching back into my first childhood.
And now it's time for some AC to come on and say it remembers when/. was cool, I suppose. --
> But imagine the descendants..... Personally, I'd > rather be nuked!
Have you ever thought that perhaps the gene pool needs a life gaurd?
"Hey you, out of the gene pool now!"
-- "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
Re:Geeks should do it - someone will need skills
by
acfoo
·
· Score: 3
MTV has really chosen the proper skills for the task of living through the apocalypse:
Research Scientist/Athelete (Yeah, a lot of the scientists I know could be pro atheletes (from his bio) yet chose to serve science)
Musician
DJ (Well, they'll be able to amuse themselves while they starve)
Student (interested in broadcasting and pottery-- well, there's ONE useful skill)
Comedienne
And most important of all...
MARKETING
The 2nd lamest way to spend Y2K
by
gad_zuki!
·
· Score: 2
The first? Actually watching this show.
Hopefully MTV will wise up and shut off the power, lock the door from the outside, make sure all the canned foods are rotten, and leave the cameras running. Then, I might even set the VCR to record this.
Re:nuke THEM! - I *have* to correct this
by
TheCarp
·
· Score: 2
> It would kill the Cancer that is New York City.
Thats what I said:)
> Most of the rest of New York State is made up of > trees, grass, and cows.
Yup I know. Been up there more than once:)
Everyone I have talked to has refered to NYC as a cancer that sucks the life out of the rest of the state and keeps the rest of the state from being viable by sucking up all the resources for itself.
Some have suggested NY state would be alot better off if NYC was cut off and forced to become an independant state.:)
I think Nuking them would have the desired effect too:)
-- "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
Y'know, I worked *hard* not to say anything about how this had a rather "B-Ship" feel to it.;\)
- Robin
The "survival" supplies, ratings (rantings?)
by
n0b0dy
·
· Score: 2
Disclaimer: I know this mtv thing is a joke, but I am going to tear into it anyway:)
The "survival" supplies, ratings
Mike Carson
Photos of Family and Friends - NOT useful (cept maybe as mapmaking paper, keeping track of the date if the photos are dated, keeping sanity through hope, kindling) Paper, Pens, Pencils - useful as items to trade, or to use for mapmaking, trachiotomies (sp?)
Lenore Davis
Family Photo - NOT useful (w/ above photo caveats) Ramblin' - Stuffed Bean Bag Frog - NOT useful
Zack Goodman
Harmonica - NOT useful (maybe you could pull it apart and sharpen the metal for a crude knife if it has a metal casing) Book Entitled "Conversations With God Part 2" - NOT useful (keeping sanity, kindling)
Tina Kim Advil - pain reliever (maybe a fever reducer, I forget) Family Photos - NOT useful (w/ above photo exceptions)
Maureen Kyle
Pictures Of My Family & Friends - NOT useful (w/ above photo exceptions) My Favorite Notre Dame Sweatshirt - extra clothing, bandages/tourniquet, string for fishing, sewing up cuts, making lightweight traps (small birds), repairing other clothes
Michael Michael
Guitar - much wire for sturdier traps/fishing/sewing, box for small trap, neck for weapon "Beat It" Michael Jackson Jacket - scaring hostile survivors away
No mention of survival references/survival equipment/medical texts on NBC warfare or field medicine, person hygene items/medical equipment/NBC equipment/weapons/extra provisions/clothes/radios/environmental monitoring equipment (MTV has the $$ to rent some geiger counters, chem/bio hazard detection equipment)
sigh.......
-chris
The icing on that cake...
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 2
Have the bunker on a truck underground without their knowledge. Slowly move it over the next few days out to a set where you've laid waste to the surrounding area.. scorched ground, destroyed building sets, fake bodies, stench of death, etc. Then when they come out they'll freak.:-) That and of course, no communications with the outside world!
OK I will now start to rehash the growing sentiment againt MTV.
MTV starting in the late 80's and 90's has slowing changed itself from a truly ground breaking station to a breeding ground of decadent pop culture. They are continously releasing programs that are "in the now" and are supposedly relevant to the 12-30 something demographic. These programs are hyped to be hip and new, but realistically they rehash common pop sentimentality albeit formatted for the target audience. Programs like The Real World, programs about Teen Violence, Sex, and the infamous Hacker "Documentary", exemplify their new form of programming.
Actually some of there ideas for programs are interesting at first. Take for example the "Real World". Supposedly a show about how "real" people will act in "real" life situations. It has quickly turned into a forum for aspiring entertainers to display their talents, or for derelicts to obtain their so called "15 minutes of fame". In reality a program that really showed real people in real life situations would probably only be good as a treatment for insomniacs.
This new Bunker project program is just another program from MTV that exploits the "popular interest" of the month, and supposedly brings in real people for another real life situation. Of course MTV has carefully chosen these "bunkernauts" not for their realness ( for a lack of a better term ) but entertainment value. You cannot blaim MTV for continuing with a paradigm that continously brings in viewers. It is just that educated users do not have accept the programming, and can choose not to tune in.
Expressing disagreement about MTV programming will most likely not effect the way MTV chooses to develop new programs, since for the limited number of detractors of MTV, there are a plethora of proponents. And new MTV enthusiasts are conceived daily.
Well, Sorry for the length of this gabble, I guess I have too much time on my hands. Man
Not an avid MTV fan myself, I did watch it a bit during the 93-95. I think the last "real" Real World was the second season (1993?), the one with that obnoxious Puck guy, and Pedro (I had to look that up on the web to actually remember). Pedro died and they started an AIDs fund in his name. It hasn't been as "real" as that since...for the last more than half-decade MTV seems to have been just increasing pop drivel...
"Join us this week as our fearless GAP-clad heros venture into the rubble of what was the New York City Fashion District!"
"Michael Michael, isn't that Old Navy's Magic being dognapped by the mutants in ragged clothing? To Old Navy, I ripped my cargo pants!"
"I've got blood on my Sketchers!"
"Where the hell are we going to find an Alto Chi Latte with nutmeg?!"
"...in our next episode, Lenore tries to see if Performance Fleece is suitable for the nuclear winter, and Mike uses his perfect body to fend off a giant cockroach attack!!"
The wonderful thing about losing a time capsule is that it just does its job better..
Putting several media whores under lock and key
by
FreeUser
·
· Score: 4
After Y2k has come and gone, and life moves on its merry way with narry a quiver, can we please just keep these people locked in the bunker? It would help winnow the gene pool and provide society with endless entertainment as they slowly go mad with cabin fever and turn on each other...
Consider it a study for the betterment of humanity: what happens when several media whores, craving attention, are locked indefinitely together in a small space. They know intellectually that an (ever shrinking) audience is watching, yet are denied the feedback they so crave. Would they revel in their new role, without knowing their current ratings or enjoying the perks of fame, or would they go slowly mad in such a confined state? Enquiring minds want to know! Most importantly, no normal person ever has to have anything to do with any of them ever again! [applaus]
Slashdot Mirror
6 plastic people... 1 shelter... their mission... ratings.
Let's put together Steve Jobs, Linus Torvalds, and Bill Gates in a bunker together and put cams all over the place. Let the fun begin :)
--------
Oscarfish.com: tropical fish with attitude. Way t
Put the slashdot effect to good use.
It's over here.
J.
Seeing as how Tove is a karate champion. That should ensure the best people win...
--
Xenu loves you!
Lets give the MTV generation a real test.
Lock them in the bunker Dec 31 with a time-release
door lock set to open in 7 days.
We can watch them, but they have no outside communications.
At midnight on Jan 1, play sound fx through the
walls at them... you know, big explosion, people
screaming etc etc. After 3 days: silence.
Meanwhile we all just sit back and watch the fun
on the webcams.
Who will take a bet that these chosen few will end up killing themselves (accidentally, of course) before January 1 rolls around?
This isn't about survival, it's about looking for the next Darwin Award winners :-)
Let's think about this. Just about every news agency is discussing the arrest of a suspected terrorist (with a good sized chunk of explosive in the car) in Seattle. (examples)
If you really wanted to make a statement, what's a better target than Time's Square?
And these fools want to be underneath that if the World ENDS?
No Zen is good zen
>
> Since it most certainly is not "Stuff that Matters"...
Adopts 'Dr. Evil' voice -
While I was frozen, I developed a method for relieving stress that I like to call 'hu - mour'. Using this 'hu - mour' we can burn a hole in the techie obsessiveness surrounding Slashdot, and make it a fun site to visit - unless they pay us - a hefty ransom?
I like Linux and tech-talk as much as the next geek, but jeez, do we have to talk about it all the time?
- "How do we do it? Volume!" - The Bursar of Unseen University.
...and I've come to the following conclusion:
We're all gonna die.
--
Pretend there is some witty statement here.
This is hilarious! Imagine the earth ends in a catacalysmic (sp?) nuclear war. These idiots would ditch the bunker right after the noise died down. Immediatly the 6 beautiful upper-class people begin to mutate into massive versions of britney spears and ricky martin, then battle to the death on the ruined island of manhattan, until there is only one remaining. Of course, this is all covered by Carson Daly whom as we all know is a robot (programmed for idiocy and top 5 countdowns) and immune to human weapons.
One of the problems with getting older is that there are so many more f*&^ed-up things that used to be cool than there were when you were young. For instance, I can remember times when Saturday Night Live, Nehru jackets and the Beach Boys were cool, and that's not even reaching back into my first childhood.
/. was cool, I suppose.
And now it's time for some AC to come on and say it remembers when
--
Someone you trust is one of us.
> But imagine the descendants..... Personally, I'd
> rather be nuked!
Have you ever thought that perhaps the gene pool
needs a life gaurd?
"Hey you, out of the gene pool now!"
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
And most important of all...
MARKETING
The first? Actually watching this show.
Hopefully MTV will wise up and shut off the power, lock the door from the outside, make sure all the canned foods are rotten, and leave the cameras running. Then, I might even set the VCR to record this.
"Gene pool needs chlorine."
> It would kill the Cancer that is New York City.
:)
:)
:)
:)
Thats what I said
> Most of the rest of New York State is made up of
> trees, grass, and cows.
Yup I know. Been up there more than once
Everyone I have talked to has refered to NYC as a
cancer that sucks the life out of the rest of the
state and keeps the rest of the state from being
viable by sucking up all the resources for itself.
Some have suggested NY state would be alot better
off if NYC was cut off and forced to become an
independant state.
I think Nuking them would have the desired effect
too
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
"Gentlemen! Six of our bravest have volunteered for this deadly mission. We have the technology. We can rebuild them. The six million dollar DJ's!"
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Is it just me or is anyone else here reminded of the conclusion to Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe?
In the end, it was revealed that the Earth was first populated by hair stylist, and public telephone cleaners.
Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
Disclaimer: I know this mtv thing is a joke, but I am going to tear into it anyway :)
The "survival" supplies, ratings
Mike Carson
Photos of Family and Friends - NOT useful (cept maybe as mapmaking paper, keeping track of the date if the photos are dated, keeping sanity through hope, kindling)
Paper, Pens, Pencils - useful as items to trade, or to use for mapmaking, trachiotomies (sp?)
Lenore Davis
Family Photo - NOT useful (w/ above photo caveats)
Ramblin' - Stuffed Bean Bag Frog - NOT useful
Zack Goodman
Harmonica - NOT useful (maybe you could pull it apart and sharpen the metal for a crude knife if it has a metal casing) Book Entitled "Conversations With God
Part 2" - NOT useful (keeping sanity, kindling)
Tina Kim
Advil - pain reliever (maybe a fever reducer, I forget)
Family Photos - NOT useful (w/ above photo exceptions)
Maureen Kyle
Pictures Of My Family & Friends - NOT useful (w/ above photo exceptions)
My Favorite Notre Dame Sweatshirt - extra clothing, bandages/tourniquet, string for fishing, sewing up cuts, making lightweight traps (small birds), repairing other clothes
Michael Michael
Guitar - much wire for sturdier traps/fishing/sewing, box for small trap, neck for weapon
"Beat It" Michael Jackson Jacket - scaring hostile survivors away
No mention of survival references/survival equipment/medical texts on NBC warfare or field medicine, person hygene items/medical equipment/NBC equipment/weapons/extra provisions/clothes/radios/environmental monitoring equipment (MTV has the $$ to rent some geiger counters, chem/bio hazard detection equipment)
sigh.......
-chris
Have the bunker on a truck underground without their knowledge. Slowly move it over the next few days out to a set where you've laid waste to the surrounding area.. scorched ground, destroyed building sets, fake bodies, stench of death, etc. Then when they come out they'll freak. :-) That and of course, no communications with the outside world!
OK I will now start to rehash the growing sentiment againt MTV.
MTV starting in the late 80's and 90's has slowing changed itself from a truly ground breaking station to a breeding ground of decadent pop culture. They are continously releasing programs that are "in the now" and are supposedly relevant to the 12-30 something demographic. These programs are hyped to be hip and new, but realistically they rehash common pop sentimentality albeit formatted for the target audience. Programs like The Real World, programs about Teen Violence, Sex, and the infamous Hacker "Documentary", exemplify their new form of programming.
Actually some of there ideas for programs are interesting at first. Take for example the "Real World". Supposedly a show about how "real" people will act in "real" life situations. It has quickly turned into a forum for aspiring entertainers to display their talents, or for derelicts to obtain their so called "15 minutes of fame". In reality a program that really showed real people in real life situations would probably only be good as a treatment for insomniacs.
This new Bunker project program is just another program from MTV that exploits the "popular interest" of the month, and supposedly brings in real people for another real life situation. Of course MTV has carefully chosen these "bunkernauts" not for their realness ( for a lack of a better term ) but entertainment value. You cannot blaim MTV for continuing with a paradigm that continously brings in viewers. It is just that educated users do not have accept the programming, and can choose not to tune in.
Expressing disagreement about MTV programming will most likely not effect the way MTV chooses to develop new programs, since for the limited number of detractors of MTV, there are a plethora of proponents. And new MTV enthusiasts are conceived daily.
Well, Sorry for the length of this gabble, I guess I have too much time on my hands.
Man
"Join us this week as our fearless GAP-clad heros venture into the rubble of what was the New York City Fashion District!"
"Michael Michael, isn't that Old Navy's Magic being dognapped by the mutants in ragged clothing? To Old Navy, I ripped my cargo pants!"
"I've got blood on my Sketchers!"
"Where the hell are we going to find an Alto Chi Latte with nutmeg?!"
"...in our next episode, Lenore tries to see if Performance Fleece is suitable for the nuclear winter, and Mike uses his perfect body to fend off a giant cockroach attack!!"
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
What does the M in MTV stand for anyway?
-Rich
The wonderful thing about losing a time capsule is that it just does its job better..
After Y2k has come and gone, and life moves on its merry way with narry a quiver, can we please just keep these people locked in the bunker? It would help winnow the gene pool and provide society with endless entertainment as they slowly go mad with cabin fever and turn on each other ...
Consider it a study for the betterment of humanity: what happens when several media whores, craving attention, are locked indefinitely together in a small space. They know intellectually that an (ever shrinking) audience is watching, yet are denied the feedback they so crave. Would they revel in their new role, without knowing their current ratings or enjoying the perks of fame, or would they go slowly mad in such a confined state? Enquiring minds want to know! Most importantly, no normal person ever has to have anything to do with any of them ever again! [applaus]
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
They forgot hairdressers and those people who clean the telephones.
Consciousness is not what it thinks it is
Thought exists only as an abstraction
...empty of course. eMpTy-Vee.
So apropos, and right under our noses to boot.
-Isaac
I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice. For Entertainment Purposes Only.